Sexy Celebrity's Movie Commentaries!

[Swan]

This better be good, Sexy.

[honeykid]

Italian horror music

[Sexy Celebrity]

Can't believe I'm actually doing a commentary to this film. I believe this version on Youtube is uncut/unedited. I've only ever watched the edited version fully on TV.

[Swan]

Honeykid, which actress in this do you want to see?

[honeykid]

Power chords? It's the 80's people.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Italian horror music

Good music. I like it. The score. Hell, I even like this rock song.

[Swan]

Awwww it has subtitles. Oh well.

[honeykid]

Black cat!

[Swan]

A black cat in a movie called The Black Cat. Whoda guessed?

[honeykid]

The worlds most obvious soundstage.

[Swan]

This is definitely... inspired... by Suspiria.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Those inserts of cats were put into the film after it was decided this movie would be called The Black Cat.

[honeykid]

Suspiria really is in every Italian horror movie since it was made, isn't it?:D

[Sexy Celebrity]

Originally this movie was called De Profundis and then Out of the Depths.

This opening scene has all been a scene for a movie.

There's Caroline Munro.

[Sexy Celebrity]

That's Anne and Marc. The lead characters.

[honeykid]

Hello Basil Exposition.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Obviously I guess these voices have been dubbed.

Maybe not Caroline Munro's. I'm not sure.

Or maybe they aren't dubbed. I don't know.

[honeykid]

Bad hat on that man.

[honeykid]

Jesus honey, it's a jungle out there.

[Swan]

The subtitles are saying CHING CHOW DING DONG PING POW!

[Sexy Celebrity]

So this movie is actually about them trying to make a SEQUEL to Suspiria.

[honeykid]

Obviously I guess these voices have been dubbed.

Maybe not Caroline Munro's. I'm not sure.

Or maybe they aren't dubbed. I don't know.
Yes, it's not unusual for Italian films to be dubbed, even when the actors/actresses speak English. :D

[honeykid]

The subtitles are saying CHING CHOW DING DONG PING POW!

That's racist. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

So, while I haven't seen Suspiria, I have seen the hard-to-find Italian horror pseudo-sequel to Suspiria.

[honeykid]

Caroline in her underwear? What a great film .:yup:

[Swan]

Sexy is probably going to hate Suspiria. I don't have any good reason to think that, other than he hates everything.

[Sexy Celebrity]

OMG. I used to have that blow up Godzilla I just saw. I forgot all about that in the movie. My family used to have that in the house when I was a kid. It was in the downstairs basement.

[Swan]

OMG. I used to have a stuffed animal too!

[honeykid]

Yep, can't see SC liking Suspiria too much.

[honeykid]

Well that's not creepy. :eek:

[Sexy Celebrity]

DEATH is drawing near.... VERY near.......... *spooky music* *cemetery*

[Sexy Celebrity]

That lightning sound effect can be heard in Hellbound: Hellraiser II. Around the Leviathan.

[honeykid]

That house should've exploded with all that lightning around.

[Swan]

Silent lightning.

[Swan]

That lightning sound effect can be heard in Hellbound: Hellraiser II. Around the Leviathan.

How the hell can you tell?

[honeykid]

Not true. Caroline was about 40 when this was made.

[honeykid]

They've mentioned the witch.

[Sexy Celebrity]

How the hell can you tell?

I just know. I recognize the sound. It's the same sound effect used when there's lightning around Leviathan, the god in their Hell.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Here's the Suspiria talk. And the music.

[Swan]

I just know. I recognize the sound. It's the same sound effect used when there's lightning around Leviathan, the god in their Hell.

I'm impressed that you can tell just by hearing it.

[Swan]

Listen guys, it's the real winner of the Soundtrack Tournament!

[honeykid]

We should watch the 81 version of The Black Cat, too.

[Swan]

We should watch the 81 version of The Black Cat, too.

Is that the Fulci one? I have that actually. Haven't seen it though.

[honeykid]

You'd never find that snake in Italy. :D

[honeykid]

Is that the Fulci one? I have that actually. Haven't seen it though.
Yes. I don't think I've seen it either.

[honeykid]

He's a smooth talker, isn't he? :D

[Swan]

It's downstairs in my study.

Where is it?

It's downstairs in my study, stupid!

[Sexy Celebrity]

There's Caroline Munro having sex.

With a bald guy.

[honeykid]

Nice ass.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Who showed ass?

[Swan]

Yeah when did we see her ass?

[honeykid]

When the wife walked downstairs.

[honeykid]

You don't see it, you see the shape. Which is the point.

[honeykid]

Acne problem?

[honeykid]

Is the next colour amber? :D

[honeykid]

Levana spitting that stuff on Anne wasn't in the TV version.
I would've thought that would've been there regardless of the time of day. Odd.

[honeykid]

I've always wondered why that drinking glass seems to glow.

I thought I'd missed something and he was walking upstairs with a candle in jar. :D

[Swan]

Going to La Fiesta for the last time tonight. I might cry.

Just kidding. Sorry Sexy. :D

But I am going to La Fiesta for the last time tonight.

[honeykid]

Could he seem less interested? Now he's getting overly angry.

[honeykid]

She looks a bit like an octopus or something in close up.

[honeykid]

Oh, dear. Bright green light. Green's never good in horror film.

[Swan]

I actually kind of like this movie. It's not great, but it has style.

[honeykid]

It's the beginning Vienna by Ultravox.

[honeykid]

She not there? Isn't that The Zombies. :D

[honeykid]

Why is she playing hotter or colder with her?

[honeykid]

There definitely something wrong with her butter.

[Swan]

And honestly, I hate when people use "style over substance" as a criticism. Some movies have style as their focus and can be great.

[honeykid]

There's also a helpful spirit of a young girl named Sybil. You'll meet her soon. She's the person in white holding the glowing green ball.

Ah. We saw her gravestone earlier.

[honeykid]

And honestly, I hate when people use "style over substance" as a criticism. Some movies have style as their focus and can be great.

Depends on the film, I suppose. No one's looking for substance in a film like this, so it can't really be a criticism, IMO.

[honeykid]

Radar Love?

[Swan]

Depends on the film, I suppose. No one's looking for substance in a film like this, so it can't really be a criticism, IMO.

Yeah, it does depend on the film. But, okay, you might hate the film, but think about Only God Forgives (can't think of a better example). Is the criticism of it having style over substance really a valid one when they film is all about style?

[honeykid]

Sybil always wants Anne to touch her for some reason.

Maybe she's really Sam Fox?

[honeykid]

Yeah, it does depend on the film. But, okay, you might hate the film, but think about Only God Forgives (can't think of a better example). Is the criticism of it having style over substance really a valid one when they film is all about style?
I've not seen the film and, from what I've heard, I don't really know if it's trying to say something and, if it is, whether it's successful in doing so.

[honeykid]

We should have another stab at sleeping? You can't say that in a horror film.:D

[Jack1]

How do these commentaries work? Two people watch a film together at the same time and comment on it?

[honeykid]

BTW, I like your new avatar, HK. Is Slob still making them?
Yes. He made 3 or 4 more for me and I use them every week or so. I've still got one more that I haven't used yet.

[Swan]

How do these commentaries work? Two people watch a film together at the same time and comment on it?

Two or more. Yep, they just watch the movie and talk about it.

[honeykid]

How do these commentaries work? Two people watch a film together at the same time and comment on it?

Pretty much. Got to youtube, find Demons 6 and join us if you want.

[honeykid]

An hour to go.

[honeykid]

Here we go. Straighten you tie.

I'm not wearing one.

*Groans*

[honeykid]

Wow, Six tv's in one room? He's a millionaire

[Swan]

This guy.

[honeykid]

Hits desk to make a point. :D

[Swan]

Push, woman! Push!

[honeykid]

Stay there, I can handle this myself. Nadine, come and help me.

[honeykid]

Oscar looks very different when he's not dressed in gold and being handed to a movie star, doesn't he?

[Jack1]

Pretty much. Got to youtube, find Demons 6 and join us if you want.
Cheers (and Swan).

[Swan]

So guys, this week I went to freaking Richiesville.

[honeykid]

What's that?

[Swan]

Los Gatos.

[Swan]

In the other room I fink.

[honeykid]

?

[Swan]

?

Los Gatos, California. Full of rich people.

[honeykid]

You want my autograph, don't you?

Yes, and get your **** out!

[honeykid]

Los Gatos, California. Full of rich people.

Ah, like Gangnam. :D

[Swan]

Swan's rich. He has his own maid. She slaves herself in his bathroom.

We just got some maids to help us clean before the new people move in.

[honeykid]

She forgot the handle in her own house sticks?

[honeykid]

There's not a repairman either?!

[Swan]

Going downstairs to the fridge is such an event, it requires fast-paced rock and roll music.

[honeykid]

I'm enjoying the 80's guitar fret fingering. :D

[Swan]

This guy is the best character.

[honeykid]

I understand that I think he's a total commitment.

[honeykid]

Dammit, I'm looking for Steve Vai stuff now. back to the film.

[honeykid]

Well that cat isn't black. What the hell's it doing there?

[honeykid]

Her name's Levana, she was a showgirl....

[Swan]

Do you like Yngwie Malmsteen, honeykid? I totally forgot about that guy until now.

[honeykid]

Her spirits eternal and cannot be destroyed, :D

[honeykid]

Do you like Yngwie Malmsteen, honeykid? I totally forgot about that guy until now.
I've not heard him.

[honeykid]

Tarantulas and snakes. :D

[Swan]

I've not heard him.

He's a metal guitarist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blNQZc84Q5c

[honeykid]

So she's not read this book before? The most powerful book she owns?

[Swan]

I am so excited for my super burrito al pastor. I am going to devour it like an animal.

[honeykid]

Is that a mirrored phone?

[Sexy Celebrity]

I am so excited for my super burrito al pastor. I am going to devour it like an animal.

Enjoy it. I miss a Mexican restaurant I used to love that's far away from where I am now.

[honeykid]

When mark's getting ready to shoot, he disappears for days. Then, when he shows up, he's too exhausted to talk to me. :D

[Swan]

IGNORE WHAT I JUST ASKED.

[Swan]

PLEASE. JUST IGNORE IT.

[honeykid]

I am so excited for my super burrito al pastor. I am going to devour it like an animal.
Ew. Mexican food.
I can relate. I probably haven't read the biggest book on my bookshelf, too.

Yes, but she wouldn't let them take it because that's not what it was for. Plus, y'know, this is her job and stuff.

[Swan]

Ew. Mexican food.

WHAT

DID

YOU

JUST

SAY

!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

[honeykid]

LOL :@ exploding heart.

[Swan]

I love Mexican food. I love hot stuff.

Mexican food is the GREATEST kind of food ever.

[honeykid]

I never saw this lady die like this on TV.

Now that I can understand. :D You would over here, though.

[honeykid]

Glowing red now. Did the writer just die? I missed it.

[honeykid]

Mexican food is the GREATEST kind of food ever.

http://stickerish.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/GTFOWhiteWithTextSS.png

[Swan]

No HK, YOU GTFO!!!!!

[honeykid]

So a glowing light tells her what to do and she does it? I like this lady.:D

[honeykid]

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! A TRAIN SET!!!!!!!!!

[Swan]

She has always been inside you. :randy:

[honeykid]

No HK, YOU GTFO!!!!!

It's nasty. For the most part, it's horrible ingredients and the only difference is the way it's folded.

[Swan]

It's nasty. For the most part, it's horrible ingredients and the only difference is the way it's folded.

NO.

NUH-UH.

MEXICAN FOOD IS THE BEST.

SPICY, DELICIOUS GOODNESS.

[honeykid]

Oh, dear. She's going all Lady Macbeth.

[honeykid]

We're back to snakes and crosses again.

[Swan]

NOT THE BABY!

[honeykid]

I'm surprised Caroline hasn't died yet. She had sex.

[Swan]

Just movie tricks.

[honeykid]

This film has just jumped the shark. :D

[Swan]

That's a lot of eyeliner.

[honeykid]

I don't need your direction anymore. I can direct myself.

[honeykid]

It's Winonna Ryder in Beetlejuice.

[Swan]

It was just a dream. :mnight:

[honeykid]

It's Dallas all over again. :D

[Swan]

You are totally rich, Mrs. Richy. You probably have a home in Los Gatos, you're so rich.

[honeykid]

Where's he going? I thought she was out dancing?

[honeykid]

Someone's just failed their test.

[Swan]

Oh, for a second I thought the movie turned into Christine.

[honeykid]

So is he off diddling Caroline?

[honeykid]

Jammy bastard.

[honeykid]

How many scenes is Caroline in where there isn't some kind of sheer material in the shot? :D

[honeykid]

Ultravox again.

[honeykid]

Red eyed cat?

[honeykid]

Someone needs to clean that prop warehouse.

[Swan]

OMG, Swan, let me know you're here. You can't miss possessed Levin. We'd have to rewind.

I'm here now.

[honeykid]

How many song titles in this?

[Swan]

:laugh:

I leave for a second and Sexy is in total distress!

[honeykid]

Has she not seen how guns work?

[honeykid]

Judas Priest went to court for less than this. :D

[Swan]

Why didn't you listen to me...

[honeykid]

It's Total Recall

[Swan]

Judas Priest went to court for less than this. :D

I love blasphemous movies. The Devils is the sh*t.

[honeykid]

She shot her in each breast.

[Swan]

Sweet Caroline.

[honeykid]

Rock ballad.

[Swan]

I love blasphemous movies. The Devils is the sh*t.

Okay, this was a joke everybody. I don't care if a movie is blasphemous or not.

[honeykid]

Black cat

[honeykid]

Okay, this was a joke everybody. I don't care if a movie is blasphemous or not.

There's no such thing as blasphemous. :D

[honeykid]

Wow. Dynasty hair and dress. Fantastic.

[Swan]

We're all just porns in your game?

[honeykid]

We're all just porns in your game?
Pawns. :D

[Swan]

Pawns. :D

I prefer to think she said porns.

[honeykid]

That baby's not very safe is it. What kind of mother is she? Britney Spears? :D

[honeykid]

Song changes really piss me off. They change the mood.
Couldn't agree more. It really matters. Especially when they make it worse.
Why does she have the fridge repairman with her???[/QUOTE]

Well, he's one of them, isn't he.

[Swan]

What was the original song, Sexy?

[honeykid]

There goes the budget.

[Swan]

Caroline is cutting herself. What an emo.

[honeykid]

This is the most localised storm I've ever seen.:D

[honeykid]

The neighbours must be shitting themselves.

[Swan]

I have no idea what to rate this movie.

[honeykid]

We're back to green. It's going to get bad.

[Swan]

Oh look, it's fink boy again.

[honeykid]

The German boy's back.

[honeykid]

Someone needs a mannicure.

[honeykid]

I like the lightshow. But who is that?

[honeykid]

Sybil's back

[honeykid]

I thought she was eternal and could not be destroyed. :D

[honeykid]

This is going full Dallas, isn't it?

She looks really good there.

[honeykid]

They might not trust the fridge, but they've got about 50 candles lit while they sleep?

[honeykid]

Hello again, Basil. :D

[honeykid]

Goodnight John Boy. :D

[honeykid]

Beauty, purity and all things natural.

[honeykid]

:laugh:

[Swan]

2.5, consider it a good rating. I had a fun time, even if it's not incredibly well-made.

Thanks guys!

[honeykid]

What do you rate that? I'll go with 2.5 but I enjoyed it a lot.

Thanks, guys. :)

[Swan]

Ready when you guys are.

[honeykid]

Ready.

[Swan]

Artisan

[honeykid]

Blurry

[honeykid]

How to stay alive in the woods. Because you never know what's going to happen.

[Swan]

Movies like this make me want to make movies. I don't know what it is about horror that is so inspiring.

[honeykid]

I can see you

[honeykid]

Skeleton hanging outside his house

[honeykid]

Heather wants to avoid cheese.

[Swan]

So apparently these people didn't even really understand what it is they were actually making when they made this.

I heard Heather feared it was an actual snuff film and they were gonna kill her in the end.

I heard that basically, they knew they were making a movie but they didn't know what exactly would happen. The filmmakers gave them a path to take and they took it, but they didn't know what they would find.

[honeykid]

Yeah, they just gave them scenarios and prompts.

[Swan]

Love the pretentious acting job there.

[honeykid]

Old people's glasses.

[honeykid]

I have a cemetery at the bottom of my road.

[honeykid]

Bite the kids fingers. It'll stop. :D

[Swan]

Great buildup here, just going around hearing scary local stories. Very clever.

[honeykid]

Do you believe in witchcraft?

No.

No?

No, sir.

:D

[honeykid]

That's such an interviewers question.

She was a crazy lady.

How was she seen by the community?

Crazy.

:D

[honeykid]

But if this whole thing is fake... what are these people believing? Are these actors telling a story or do they actually believe in a Blair Witch?

Just people asked to do a vox pop, probably.

[Swan]

But if this whole thing is fake... what are these people believing? Are these actors telling a story or do they actually believe in a Blair Witch?

I think they're actors. Not sure.

[honeykid]

I have no idea what a "vox pop" is.

The talking heads stuff that interviewers do with the public in the street. They could be actors, but it wouldn't surprise me if they just asked people if they wanted to be in a film and those that said yes were asked to answer the questions they're asked as if there was/might be a local legend about a witch.

[honeykid]

Damn fool kids will never learn.

[honeykid]

Love the fishermen bickering.

[honeykid]

We're leaving the car.

[Swan]

I would love to make a movie like this - just totally improv (for the most part). I hate writing scripts. When I was a kid making horror movies with my cousins and friends, we would just wing it, make up the story as we went along. I would love to make a real movie like that, even if it ended up sucking it would be fun.

[Swan]

I mean, I don't hate writing scripts. It's just a process. But, the idea of making a film without any script really appeals to me.

[honeykid]

I would love to make a movie like this - just totally improv (for the most part). I hate writing scripts. When I was a kid making horror movies with my cousins and friends, we would just wing it, make up the story as we went along. I would love to make a real movie like that, even if it ended up sucking it would be fun.
Have you watched much/any Mike Leigh?

[Swan]

Have you watched much/any Mike Leigh?

I've seen Naked. Does he make movies without scripts?

[Swan]

I would rather write a script.

I'm still waiting for your debut screenplay.

[honeykid]

He works like no one else out there tmk. He starts with his actors from nothing and creates his films. There's no storyboard or script/story or anything to start with.

[honeykid]

That's a horrible top that Heather's wearing.

[honeykid]

What killed this dead mouse?

[Swan]

He works like no one else out there tmk. He starts with his actors from nothing and creates his films. There's no storyboard or script/story or anything to start with.

Damn, that's awesome. I'll have to watch more of his work.

I actually deleted some stuff I wrote years ago that I loved, but don't really like much anymore. Though I kinda wish I hadn't deleted it. Oh, well. I did it recently.

I save everything.

[honeykid]

Is this the Blair Witch?

No. It's Heather, taking a piss.

[Swan]

That's Greek to you? Then you're dumb, because that's not Greek, it's English. :D

[honeykid]

We'll all look back on this and laugh heartily. Believe me.

[honeykid]

So, I'm already ahead, yes? :D

[honeykid]

First slightly weird thing.

[honeykid]

Witches in days gone by were roasted just like my Vienna sausage.

[Swan]

Does Kim Kardashian go to those big ass orgies?

[Swan]

I still haven't seen the sequel to this. I don't want to.

[honeykid]

I still haven't seen the sequel to this. I don't want to.

I liked the sequel. :o

[honeykid]

I have. It's about a goth girl.
I have it too.

[honeykid]

Yeah, shut up, Mike.

[honeykid]

It's Blair Witch. What do you want us to say?

[honeykid]

I don't mind doing it. I thought it was something you two wanted to do a couple of months ago. It's less than an hour to go now.

[Swan]

Yeah this isn't a great movie for a commentary. I love it, but it's a movie you watch in the dark at night without any distraction.

[Swan]

Sorry guys. I expected it to be a good commentary because it's a great, unique film. Guess I was wrong.

[honeykid]

It's an atmosphere film and they usually aren't the best to do like this, IMO. It's one of the reasons I prefer stupid films.

[Swan]

Would you guys want to do one of the Halloween films after this?

[Swan]

You wanna stop?

Up to you guys.

[honeykid]

Sorry guys. I expected it to be a good commentary because it's a great, unique film. Guess I was wrong.
I haven't seen it in forever, so I'm ok with going on with it.
You wanna stop?
No, I'm fine.

[honeykid]

Would you guys want to do one of the Halloween films after this?

I'm not going to be able to do another film after this. Not tonight, anyway.

[Swan]

Let's finish this. I have something to say. Josh looks like Mac Miller. I hate Mac Miller.

[jiraffejustin]

What part are you guys at? I'll do commentary while pretending to watch the film.

[Swan]

I'm not going to be able to do another film after this. Not tonight, anyway.

Okay, no sweat.

[honeykid]

It would be better if they actually disappeared. Since I know they're okay... it's like.... big deal.
Of course they're OK. I always wonder about people who watched this thinking it was 'real'

[honeykid]

What part are you guys at? I'll do commentary while pretending to watch the film.
They're arguing about the map. It's lost.