Sexy Celebrity's Movie Commentaries!

[Sexy Celebrity]

TANGO AND CASH ARRESTED FOR MURDER!

[Miss Vicky]

Doctored tape. They're going down.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Fake tape. Makes it look like Tango & Cash killed a guy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

That looks like that gay actor who died of AIDS. On the stand.

[Miss Vicky]

When this is over, remind me to rip Jumbo there's tongue out.

With a tow truck.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Asian woman was assaulted. A chair was put on her chest and someone sat on it.

[Miss Vicky]

When this is over, we gotta pay Jabba the Hut there a visit.

With a chainsaw.

I'll bring the beer.

[Miss Vicky]

Asian woman was assaulted. A chair was put on her chest and someone sat on it.

Asian woman? She's interpreting for the bad guy.

[Miss Vicky]

Tango is not a fan of glory hounds.

Lawyers want them to cop a plea.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Asian woman? She's interpreting for the bad guy.

Oh, okay. Didn't really notice she was an interpreter.

[Miss Vicky]

I'd like to cop something.

[Miss Vicky]

Cash was hatched on August 16

[Sexy Celebrity]

Tango wants to approach the bench.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I like Kurt Russell's jacket.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Is Stallone Tango and Russell is Cash?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yes. That's right.

[Miss Vicky]

This whole thing ****ing sucks! I mean this is the biggest pile of s***....

[Sexy Celebrity]

I figured Stallone must be Tango because it sounds like it could be Italian.

[Miss Vicky]

They plea no contest.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Excuse me, Mr. Judge, but they do not have free will.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now I remember that they have to escape prison. I remember them swinging away from it on a cord that was suspended in the air.

[Miss Vicky]

I don't think there's a golf course here.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I think the bare butts are coming up soon.

[Miss Vicky]

I think my underwear is riding into my throat.

[Sexy Celebrity]

There's those beautiful butts. :kiss:

[Miss Vicky]

ASS

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now they're naked and wet and showering, but you don't see anything important.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Although muscles are important.

Love the necklace on Stallone.

[Miss Vicky]

Now they're naked and wet and showering, but you don't see anything important.


Shame. But I do like them wet.

What are you doing?!

Relax. Soap. And don't flatter yourself, Pee Wee.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Their prison is on fire.

[Miss Vicky]

General population.

You know what I really hate? Litter.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now I want to toast marshmallows with Stallone.

[Miss Vicky]

That dude's scarey.

[Sexy Celebrity]

The inmates are antsy to kill them. Tango & Cash put them away.

[Sexy Celebrity]

One of them wants Stallone's ass. Can't say I blame him.

[Miss Vicky]

I loved you in Conan the Barbarian.

If you need me, me and my ass will be in the neighborhood.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Their cell already comes equipped with pictures of women from nudie magazines.

[Miss Vicky]

Hey - that crapper is mine!

[Sexy Celebrity]

At least Cash's cell does.

His cellmate is a big black guy who's probably gonna make Cash his bitch.

[Miss Vicky]

We're gonna get one thing straight right now,

That is yours!

[Sexy Celebrity]

Tango's cellmate is that crazy guy you see in a lot of movies, especially horror films. I can't remember his name.

[Miss Vicky]

Hey it's Ron Howards ugly brother.

[Miss Vicky]

Not that Ron Howard's attractive either.

[Sexy Celebrity]

The balding guy with a funny face. He's currently playing with a Slinky.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Hey it's Ron Howards ugly brother.

Right! Something Howard.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Clint Howard.

[Miss Vicky]

Tango made good use of that slinky.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Clint Howard's got his face all wrapped up in Slinky.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Looks like Tango & Cash are going down the laundry chute.

[Miss Vicky]

Down the laundry chute.

[Miss Vicky]

Torture scene coming up.

[Miss Vicky]

Somehow Jack Palance has gotten into the prison, just to torture them.

He doesn't like them very much.

[Miss Vicky]

Ponytail thinks Tango is pretty.

[Derek Vinyard]

http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/229/959/18a.jpg

[Miss Vicky]

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a384/themarbleintheoatmeal/smilies/th_love0055.gif

[Miss Vicky]

It's Conan.

We're gonna get FUBAR now.

[Sexy Celebrity]

:joaquin::joaquin::joaquin::joaquin::joaquin::joaquin::joaquin::joaquin::joaquin::joaquin:

[Miss Vicky]

You broke that jaw?

[Sexy Celebrity]

I love that Joaquin emoticon.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Anyway, the guys are fighting in prison.

[Miss Vicky]

Torture scene.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now they're tied up. Very S&M. Very Quills.

[Miss Vicky]

Rats in a maze, men in a cage!

[Miss Vicky]

Cash is going steady with an alimony check.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This would be hot if they weren't about to be killed (not that they will be).

[Miss Vicky]

Chains and electrocution.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I don't care for the electrocution.

[Miss Vicky]

Jack Palance disappears into the mist.

Tango and Cash still in chains, but being tortured anymore. :(

[Sexy Celebrity]

But they're sweaty and in wife beaters.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Sweaty and bloody.

[Miss Vicky]

Someone's gonna nail them both.

Can I be that someone?

[Miss Vicky]

Tango misses his wardrobe.

[Sexy Celebrity]

:leo::leo::leo::leo::leo::leo::leo::leo::leo::leo:

[Sexy Celebrity]

A shaft appears to be in their future.

[Sexy Celebrity]

My Partner in Pain.

[Miss Vicky]

Tango doesn't want to escape.

[Sexy Celebrity]

FUBAR

(f**ked up beyond all recognition)

[Miss Vicky]

Slinky is Tango's fiance.

[Miss Vicky]

Cash wishes Slinky and Tango to raise a beautiful litter.

[Sexy Celebrity]

They need to hurry and break out already. This is taking too long.

[Miss Vicky]

Cash is all wet again. :randy:

[Sexy Celebrity]

If we could each have one of these men to ourselves, who would you get, Miss Vicky? Would you be okay with Cash if I got Tango?

[Sexy Celebrity]

The police are after Cash. He's slipping away. There's lots of water. Maybe some mud.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Tango is opening the door, helping Cash escape. Gunshots are being fired.

[Sexy Celebrity]

They're moving underground now. Pipes.

[Miss Vicky]

If we could each have one of these men to ourselves, who would you get, Miss Vicky? Would you be okay with Cash if I got Tango?

Normally I'd go for Russell over Stallone, but he looks exceptionally hot in this one. I want him.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Cash's ass is in Stallone's face.

[Miss Vicky]

Do you know where you're going?

I know exactly where I'm going.

Then get your ass out of my face and get there.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This escape scene is really too long... it drags down the movie.

[Miss Vicky]

Tango!

What?

Don't touch those wires.

Tango's getting real tired of electricity.

[Sexy Celebrity]

We're almost an hour into the movie and they're just now escaping prison. They should have escaped earlier and spent more time on other things in the movie.

[Miss Vicky]

This escape scene is really too long... it drags down the movie.

You're just antsy to see Kurt in drag.

[Sexy Celebrity]

You're just antsy to see Kurt in drag.

To be honest, I am anticipating it.

[Sexy Celebrity]

There they go a'swingin'.

[Miss Vicky]

Now Sly's all wet and dirty. Tango's caught in a chain.

Me likey.

[Miss Vicky]

Speak doggy, speak!

[Miss Vicky]

More electrocution. This time it's scary jawbone bad guy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

What the hell???? Who got electrocuted? I thought it was Cash.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Swingin' Stallone.

[Miss Vicky]

What the hell???? Who got electrocuted? I thought it was Cash.

The bad guy with the huge jaw.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Cash can't forget the time in the shower with Tango.

[Miss Vicky]

Nice doing time with you.

Yeah, I'll never forget that time in the shower.

[Sexy Celebrity]

INSISTENT PEOPLE MAKE ME ANGRY!

[Miss Vicky]

Insistent people make Jack Palance angry.

[Miss Vicky]

Jack thinks the rat is beautiful.
So do I.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Did I just hear a woman say "Commencing Wi-Fi?"

[Miss Vicky]

Cash needs a big gun.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Who is this guy with the magnifying glass? He's familiar.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I would eat that spaghetti off the floor for Stallone.

[Miss Vicky]

Who is this guy with the magnifying glass? He's familiar.

i was wondering the same thing.

Sly in a wife beater. Looking hot.

[Miss Vicky]

Sly thinks that guy needs some iron in his diet. He's looking anemic.

[Miss Vicky]

Bomb in FBI guy's car.

[Miss Vicky]

There's Mr. Noodle from Sesame street. Mr. Noodle is upset that Cash is playing with his equipment.

[Sexy Celebrity]

See, I can't remember this guy's name, but Skinner -- this nerd guy in glasses -- is a gay man and he died of AIDS in the '90s. He was in Patch Adams.

[Sexy Celebrity]

There's Mr. Noodle from Sesame street. Mr. Noodle is upset that Cash is playing with his equipment.

Right! Mr. Noodle from Sesame Street. I've seen him on that.

[Miss Vicky]

See, I can't remember this guy's name, but Skinner -- this nerd guy in glasses -- is a gay man and he died of AIDS in the '90s. He was in Patch Adams.

His name is Michael Jeter.

[Sexy Celebrity]

His name is Michael Jeter.

Right again! Yes.

[Sexy Celebrity]

We're close to Kurt Russell looking draglicious.

[Miss Vicky]

Strip club. We're about to see some nice **** and some Kurt Russell in drag.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Love this song. "Don't Go" by Yazoo.

[Miss Vicky]

Really? I can't say t!ts? :rolleyes:

[Sexy Celebrity]

I don't understand this censor sometimes.

[Sexy Celebrity]

**********.

[Miss Vicky]

It's Sly's girl, still looking really 80s.

[Sexy Celebrity]

See? That works.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm really surprised "Bitch" is even allowed.

[Miss Vicky]

I can't say t!ts, but I can say titties.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm not sure how or why Kurt Russell ends up in drag.

Although, now I think I do remember. She dresses him up like that to sneak him out, I think.

[Miss Vicky]

And there's some nice big ones.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Here we go.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Here she comes!

[Miss Vicky]

Katherine in Elvis's outfit. Here comes draggy Kurt.

[Miss Vicky]

Slow pan over him

[Sexy Celebrity]

He reminds me of Patrick Swayze in To Wong Foo.

[Miss Vicky]

I think the 5:00 shadow gives it away just a little.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Dykes on Bikes.

[Miss Vicky]

Dykes on bikes, ay captain?

[Miss Vicky]

We can say "dykes" but not t!ts. Awesome.

[Sexy Celebrity]

They would never be allowed to say "dykes on bikes" now.

[Miss Vicky]

Katherine is Ray's daughter.

[Miss Vicky]

I think. Maybe not.

[Miss Vicky]

Katherine's moving it around real slow.

[Miss Vicky]

It's almost in.

[Sexy Celebrity]

She's Tango's sister.

[Miss Vicky]

Oh way, Katherine is Ray's sister.

[Miss Vicky]

I vaguely remembered them being related.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I vaguely remembered them being related.

I had completely forgotten. I thought, like you, that she was his daughter.

[Miss Vicky]

Cash's pantyhose are riding up into the unknown.

[Sexy Celebrity]

What is Cash wearing.......

[Miss Vicky]

What is Cash wearing.......

I think it's still the dress.

[Miss Vicky]

You're going to make a very ugly bride some day.

Oh, is that a proposal?

[Sexy Celebrity]

I thought he wasn't wearing a shirt. Suddenly he's back in the dress?

[Miss Vicky]

I thought he wasn't wearing a shirt. Suddenly he's back in the dress?

Continuity error I guess.

Tango was wondering if Katherine needed some extra cash.
I'd like some Cash.

[Miss Vicky]

Tango: I'm talking about all that filth and scum I have to deal with.

Cash: Well, here I am.

Tango: See what I mean?

[Miss Vicky]

Tango doesn't think his sister is Cash's type.

[Sexy Celebrity]

When did you first see this movie?

[Miss Vicky]

When did you first see this movie?

I think I first saw it in the early 90s. It's from 1989 if I remember correctly. I didn't see it in the theater but probably on HBO or something later on.

[Sexy Celebrity]

God, I would hate to be held upside down from a tall building.

[Miss Vicky]

Grenade in the mouth. Kind of ball-gag ish.

[Miss Vicky]

Tango wants the whole package.
I want his package.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Grenade in the mouth. Kind of ball-gag ish.

But not the guy I'd like to see in that position.

[Miss Vicky]

If you don't want to get sticky, get back Jack.

[Miss Vicky]

But not the guy I'd like to see in that position.

Me neither.

[Miss Vicky]

It's not raining and Potatohead is standing in a puddle.

Tango wants to know if Cash bumped uglies with his sister.

[Miss Vicky]

Grenade down the pants. Tango's contribution to birth control.

Bloody dud.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Stallone made us think he was gonna blow up Australian ponytail guy's privates.

[Miss Vicky]

That is an RV from hell. Care to join me?

[Miss Vicky]

This is a violent work of art.

Hmm... who owns the pink slip, Satan?

[Miss Vicky]

They won't put a scratch on it. They're fully insured.

[Miss Vicky]

Male bonding moment.

If Tango doesn't make it back and Cash does, he is gonna date Tango's sister.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Owen (guy with magnifying glass who helps them) is Michael J. Pollard.

He was in Dick Tracey (Bug Bailey).

OH! OH!

He was in Sleepaway Camp III.

That's what I know him best from.

[Miss Vicky]

Cash? Listen to the man.

Yes, mommy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This movie really isn't that bad. The villains are lame, though.

[Sexy Celebrity]

"Where the hell did you learn how to drive?!"

"STEVIE WONDER!"

[Miss Vicky]

Where the hell did you learn how to drive?

Stevie Wonder.

[Miss Vicky]

This movie really isn't that bad. The villains are lame, though.

Yeah, they're lame. But it's fun and the guys are gorgeous.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This is a lot better than, say, Lethal Weapon 2.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This is a lot better than, say, Lethal Weapon 2.

Note that I'm actually dissing a sequel.

[Miss Vicky]

The bad news is they're almost out of gas.

The good news is they're almost out of gas.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm a bit annoyed that Michael J. Pollard is still around, though.

[Miss Vicky]

This is a lot better than, say, Lethal Weapon 2.

I like Lethal Weapon 2.

Cash: Aw, wait a minute. Why is yours bigger than mine?

Tango: Genetics, Pee Wee!

[Miss Vicky]

Remember, use extreme caution.

Ciao.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Okay, so now they've each got a big bulldozer thing.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I think when they kill the main bad guy, there's something involving mirrors.

[Miss Vicky]

Nice collection.

Yeah, Toys for Tots.

[Miss Vicky]

Facility destruct sequence is now engaged.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Looks like Katherine's tied up now.

[Miss Vicky]

Looks like Katherine's tied up now.

Not so hot.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Katherine is Teri Hatcher.

[Miss Vicky]

Cash got shot.

I've been shot plenty of times, I never felt lucky about it.

[Miss Vicky]

Ponytail's got Katherine. Sly should've blown him up.

[Miss Vicky]

Ponytail has appropriated Plan B.

Katherine might lose her head over him.

[Sexy Celebrity]

How dumb. Don't they know it's not smart to start a fisty fight with Stallone and Cash when they've got access to bombs and guns?

[Sexy Celebrity]

That wasn't a dud that time.

[Miss Vicky]

We never talked about Plan C, a**hole.

Do you think it's a dud?

FUBAR. Big time.

[Miss Vicky]

Bad guy and mirror.

[Sexy Celebrity]

There's the mirrors I was talking about.

[Miss Vicky]

Let's take him alive.

Jack Palance is dead. Their sights are off.

[Miss Vicky]

Escape just before the bomb blows. So cliche.

[Miss Vicky]

And the obligatory jump as the bomb goes off.

Looks like there's a lot of new pollution in the sky tonight and it's called Peret.

[Miss Vicky]

Tango is ungrateful for all that Cash has done for him.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Handslapping.

End credits.

[Miss Vicky]

Cash thinks he's earned the right to date Tango's sister.

Over my dead body. Deal.

High five. Freeze frame. Heroes again headline.
End credits.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I give that 3.

[Miss Vicky]

Very flawed but fun.

3.5+

[Sexy Celebrity]

Or:

:bea::bea::bea:

[Sexy Celebrity]

Anyway, Happy Anniversary, thread.

Thanks for joining me on this special day, Miss Vicky.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Exactly 75 movies in one year.

And one Golden Globes Awards show.

[Miss Vicky]

You're welcome.

http://www.craveonline.com/images/stories/2011/2012/October/Film/Myth%20of%20Macho/Tango%20and%20Cash/Tango_and_Cash_Kurt_Russell_Drag.jpg

[Sexy Celebrity]

Your thread should be having an anniversary soon, too.

[Miss Vicky]

September 21

[Sexy Celebrity]

NEXT:

http://www.movieforums.com/community/attachment.php?attachmentid=16736&stc=1&d=1408316400

THE WARRIORS

With Honeykid!

[honeykid]

Ready when you are.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Press Play.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Wonder Wheel ferris wheel.

[honeykid]

Play. The wonder wheel.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Here comes the train.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Black man in jewelry and head rags.

[honeykid]

Everybody says Cyrus is the one and only. I think we better go have a look for ourselves.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Village People boarding the train.

[honeykid]

Black man in jewelry and head rags.
That's Cleon. Their leader.

[Sexy Celebrity]

What are these guys doing? Getting ready to beat up Michael Jackson in the "Beat It" video?

[honeykid]

Here are lots of the gangs. There's a list somewhere on the net of all the gangs that appear in the film.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Bros with fros.

[honeykid]

We;re going in there with nothing.

We're going in there like everybody else. 9 guys and no weapons.

[honeykid]

Even exposition is cool in this film. :love:

[honeykid]

That's Rembrandt, with the spray can.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This is based on a novel.

[honeykid]

This is the film that meant I always noticed, and loved, whenever James Remar appeared in something.

[honeykid]

Maybe we'll get to waste a few heads along the way.

You just soldier and keep your mouth shut,

[honeykid]

When your the president of the biggest gang in the city, you don't have to take any ****.

Ah, **** him.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This movie is already giving off a "stupid" vibe to me.

[honeykid]

The New York of The Warriors and Taxi Driver was the New York I always wanted to visit when I was a kid.

[honeykid]

Shhh. Cyrus is about to speak.

[honeykid]

Can you count, suckers!

[Swan]

Never seen this movie.

Have fun.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Cyrus is ugly.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I wanna watch Good Morning, Vietnam.

[honeykid]

Get the stream off SC and join us, swan.

[Sexy Celebrity]

No, I do not dig it.

[honeykid]

Can you dig it!!

[Sexy Celebrity]

Here comes the cops. Thank God.

[honeykid]

I wanna watch Good Morning, Vietnam.
That's just started on tv over here. :D It has ads, though.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Break this stupid looking movie up.

[Swan]

Get the stream off SC and join us, swan.

Nah you guys already started. Besides, I'd like to give this one my full attention on my first viewing. Thanks though. :)

[Sexy Celebrity]

I've never seen Good Morning, Vietnam. It's the #1 movie I wanna see right now.

[honeykid]

Luther shoots Cyrus.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Nobody's been shot here, yet.

Although, I see a gun.

[honeykid]

I've never seen Good Morning, Vietnam. It's the #1 movie I wanna see right now.
Go to youtube or something and just watch all the radio bits with Robin Williams. That's about 95% of all the good stuff.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Is that Sean Penn?