Sexy Celebrity's Movie Commentaries!

[Sexy Celebrity]

Brad Pitt looks fat in that picture. I didn't even realize it was Brad Pitt until earlier today.

Fat? I think he looks hot.

http://www.movieforums.com/community/attachment.php?attachmentid=15698&stc=1&d=1402451592

It's a Fight Club promotional image.

[Swan]

Not fat, just big boned. Just in the avatar he does, not in that picture.

[rauldc14]

Sexy this is really your favorite movie?

I was going to ask the same question, though I'm assuming not.

[Nostromo87]

this looks like a SexyCelebrity Brad Pitt picture

http://i2.cdnds.net/13/51/618x417/brad-pitt-recline.jpg

[Sexy Celebrity]

PLANNED FOR TOMORROW:

http://www.movieforums.com/community/attachment.php?attachmentid=15775&stc=1&d=1402638098

Friday the 13th Part V:
A New Beginning

With SWAN and anyone else who wants to join us.

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning is often considered the worst Friday the 13th movie, but Swan and I love it.

And tomorrow is... (actually, today is) ... Friday the 13th.

[Sexy Celebrity]

NEXT:

http://www.movieforums.com/community/attachment.php?attachmentid=15857&stc=1&d=1402970510

With Swan and maybe more?

[Swan]

I'm ready to go. But we should wait to see if Nostromo is going to do it.

[rauldc14]

What on earth are you watching? Lol

[Sexy Celebrity]

I see Raul checking out the thread. He could watch with us. It's on Youtube.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And you don't need to see 1 & 2 to see this one.

[Swan]

What on earth are you watching? Lol

Only the greatest slasher series in history.

[rauldc14]

I can't watch because I have an iPad. So I can't really use 2 screens at once.

[Swan]

You could describe the audio.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm tired of waiting for Nostromo. You wanna just go?

[rauldc14]

I've a dumb iPad or else I haven't figured it out. Like, for example if I go on YouTube to play a song it doesn't let me open a new tab without music stopping.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm watching this on a tablet and typing on a computer. I just got the tablet so I'm trying to get used to it.

[Swan]

Sure. Maybe he will still join us after we start.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This will be my first movie watch on a tablet.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Hold on, Swan.

[rauldc14]

I'm watching this on a tablet and typing on a computer. I just got the tablet so I'm trying to get used to it.

That would work, but my laptop is slow as a dinosaur.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Okay, Swan. Press play.

[Swan]

Wait, Nostromo is getting back to me.

[Sexy Celebrity]

okay

[Swan]

A stupid baseball game is more important to him than Slumber Party Massacre III. I'm ready, let's do this.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Press play.

[Swan]

If this isn't a masterpiece of filmmaking, I will be sorely disappointed.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Remember I don't know this one very well. Only saw it once.

[Swan]

This one is directed by a girl too.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And written by a woman.

[Swan]

Creepy guy at 1:00.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Very creepy stare.

There's another Jackie character.

[Swan]

Twist: the creepy guy is actually a good guy.

[Swan]

And this guy is the creepy guy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I don't think the creepy guy is the killer. I'm not sure, though.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Watching this on a tablet and typing on a laptop is not comfortable.

[Swan]

Hey baby...

[Sexy Celebrity]

I might be a bit behind you.

[Swan]

Dammit. Why do the girls I like always get killed right away.

[Swan]

Want to pause and sync?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Pause your movie.

[Swan]

Okay paused. I'm at 9:26.

[Swan]

They are in the red car.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Unpause.

[Swan]

Unpaused.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Switched to my phone. See if it's easier.

[Sexy Celebrity]

What's happened? They were at the beach playing volleyball, there was a creepy guy, then some girl got drilled in a car.

[Swan]

Yeah, and then they were in the red car. I had to go get dinner just now, so I have no clue what these two were just talking about.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Look at those leopard print car seats.

[Sexy Celebrity]

That nerdy guy screaming when she answered the door.....

[Sexy Celebrity]

Was so strange. I totally remember that from when I watched it.

[Swan]

That nerdy guy screaming when she answered the door.....

Best part so far, that and the chick who got drilled.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I think the killer is that blonde guy she met on the beach. Ken, I think his name was?

[Swan]

I think the killer is that blonde guy she met on the beach. Ken, I think his name was?

Was that the creepy guy or the one the chick was talking to? I think there will be a twist where the creepy guy will end up being good, while the other one might be the killer.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Woman taking a shower.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Was that the creepy guy or the one the chick was talking to? I think there will be a twist where the creepy guy will end up being good, while the other one might be the killer.

I don't even think you see the creepy guy again.

The guy she was talking to -- I think he might be the killer. I'm not sure.

I just think I remember the killer looking more normal than usual, and blonde.

[Swan]

I don't even think you see the creepy guy again.

The guy she was talking to -- I think he might be the killer. I'm not sure.

I just think I remember the killer looking more normal than usual, and blonde.

I think he is the killer, yeah. If the creepy guy isn't in it again, they did that just to twist it up.

[Swan]

You're supposed to think the creepy guy is the killer, but it's the blonde guy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Right. I think we keep seeing these creepy guys -- like weird Morgan a moment ago -- to make us think one of them is the killer, when really it's the cute guy at the beach she was chatting with.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I like Maria. She dates 50 year old men.

Look at that plain, generic "Beer" can.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Here comes pussy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I think pussy might have just got killed.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now Morgan's watching them with a telescope as they dance around the living room.

[Swan]

Full throttle.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I don't know who Juliet is, but they keep saying her name.

[Sexy Celebrity]

The girls are taking their clothes off.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Three guys are coming to spy on them. The difference is there's three of them now and one of them is black.

[Swan]

Boobs.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I haven't seen any actual nudity yet, though. They're still in bras and panties.

[Swan]

There they are.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Okay, Maria's showing her boobs. Medium sized. Crater sized areolas.

[Sexy Celebrity]

The three guys surprise them in the room, wearing monster masks. The girls scream and call them perverts.

[Swan]

The girls thought that was actually Freddy Krueger.

[Sexy Celebrity]

The girls thought that was actually Freddy Krueger.

They said that? I missed it.

[Sexy Celebrity]

So, Jackie is the lead girl. She's a blonde girl with short, frizzy hair.

Her parents are selling their house.

[Swan]

They said that? I missed it.

No, I just thought it was funny that they started to run away when they saw them in the monster masks, like they thought they were actually monsters.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Hmmm. The creepy guy from the beach is outside their house.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yeah, that cute guy at the beach is definitely the killer, I'm sure.

[Sexy Celebrity]

The girls are ordering pizza..........

[Sexy Celebrity]

Okay, the black guy is, I believe, about to get killed with a For Sale sign.

[Swan]

The girls are ordering pizza..........

I wonder what's going to happen to the pizza.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yep. "House for Sale" sign through the chest.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now that's a visual. Black guy being dragged away with a huge "House for Sale" sign stuck in his body.

[Swan]

I'm glad he put the for sale sign back up, or else the house would never sell.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This time, it's a Pizza LADY.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Pause the movie.

[Swan]

What's up?

[Swan]

I paused it. I'll be right back.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I don't know what happened. My phone decided to pause the movie and wouldn't let me start it up again. I am done with mobile devices for playing films and opening up a new tab on the computer.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Where did you pause at?

[Swan]

I'm at 32:49.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Okay unpause.

[Swan]

Playing.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Where the hell did that pizza lady park?! She's been walking forever.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This driller killer wears a hoodie and face makeup.

[Swan]

I've got to say, that was a pretty good death scene.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Why do these people scream so strangely in front of the camera?

[Swan]

He just wanted to return the address book.

[Sexy Celebrity]

There's the killer. Definitely.

[Sexy Celebrity]

See, this movie just isn't as good as the first two.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I think my blu-ray of the first movie is coming tomorrow. I checked the tracker earlier and it said it arrived in town today.

[Swan]

So far I'd rate it about the same as the second one.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Well, this is some commentary.

[Swan]

Well, this is some commentary.

I wish honeykid and nostromo were here.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Honeykid wanted to do a commentary earlier and I said "not tonight", but then changed my mind and then he said "not tonight."

[Sexy Celebrity]

She's about to get killed by that vibrator.

[Swan]

A vibrator death? That has to be memorable.

[Sexy Celebrity]

She just had sex with the killer and now he's gonna electrocute her in her bath with a vibrator.

[Sexy Celebrity]

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

ZAP. ZAP. ZAP. ZAP!

[Sexy Celebrity]

It wasn't filmed so memorably, though, was it?

[Swan]

Nope.

[Sexy Celebrity]

That's what I do with stains. I use a blow dryer on them.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Nope.

I remember hearing about the vibrator death and thinking it would be hysterical, but when I finally saw it, I was very disappointed. I was hoping I'd be wrong again, though, because I couldn't remember how it exactly played out.

Still sucks.

[Swan]

Oh she gave him a tour of a house alright. A house called HER VAGINA!

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now Juliet's dead body is in a clothes bag in a closet.

That's a nod to Trish hiding in the clothes bag in the first movie.

[Sexy Celebrity]

"She was murdered."

Can you believe how calmly she said that?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Horrible actors!

[Swan]

"She was murdered."

Can you believe how calmly she said that?

Well, she's not wrong.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yeah, see, that's what's going on --

He's killing for revenge because his uncle, the ex-cop, is the one who committed suicide.

I think that's his motive. Some kind of revenge for his uncle committing suicide.

[Swan]

Roughly 30 more minutes.

[Sexy Celebrity]

You want to turn it off?

[Swan]

Nah we've got to finish. Do you?

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm okay.

[Sexy Celebrity]

There's a chainsaw.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Wonder why he didn't finish killing him.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Why don't these people ever have guns?! It's always about knives and fire pokers.

[Swan]

I'm calling it, there will be a murder using the fish.

[Sexy Celebrity]

"The weirdo's dead in the basement!"

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm calling it, there will be a murder using the fish.

There might be. I don't remember.

[Swan]

I thought there would be more of a point with the weirdo.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I actually think now -- I think I didn't even finish this movie the time I watched it. I lost interest.

[Swan]

There might be. I don't remember.

They seemed to make a point of showing its "sword."

[Sexy Celebrity]

I thought there would be more of a point with the weirdo.

I didn't. He wasn't a good guy. He was sneaking around and spying on them.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now we're in the killer's creepy truck/van/whatever it is.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Morgan's calling the police for them. He sees the killer attacking them from his telescope.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Hope you're enjoying reading this exciting commentary.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I am never doing a commentary with just you again.

[Swan]

There just isn't much to say.

[Swan]

:(

[Swan]

I can't be that bad.

[Swan]

I looks like my favorite girl is about to be killed.

[Sexy Celebrity]

SHE is your favorite???

[Sexy Celebrity]

This movie is weird. It looks kind of rapey and now the killer is telling them he's their uncle and will always love them.

[Swan]

SHE is your favorite???

I like the nice one.

[Swan]

The one he said is like his sister. I can't tell if that's her.

[Swan]

One of the girls looks like Mae Whitman to me. The one in the grey shirt.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I don't know who Mae Whitman is.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yeah, totally -- get the drill!

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now the killer's blinded and he's swinging his drill around while blinded.

[Swan]

She was on Arrested Development and Scott Pilgrim.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Maria's trying to "reach him."

He can do whatever he wants to her.

Now he's going down to her legs.....

[Swan]

You have to admit, this killer is a somewhat well-developed character.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now he's tearing off her clothes. Her breasts exposed.

[Sexy Celebrity]

You have to admit, this killer is a somewhat well-developed character.

I think this whole thing is stupid. The killer in the first film is far better, even though we don't know much about him.

[Swan]

Rapey boobs are sad boobs.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Stupid Maria! She literally just handed him his drill instead of using it on him.

[Swan]

I think this whole thing is stupid. The killer in the first film is far better, even though we don't know much about him.

At least they tried.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This is the dumbest movie ever.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This killer is whiny.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And these girls are literally just standing around the house, waiting for the movie to end.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I think I just saw one of them look at their watch.

[Swan]

Yeah why don't they run outside for God's sake.

[Swan]

Okay you're right, the killer is stupid and whiny.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And look at this horrible ending.

[Swan]

Creepy uncle.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm thinking this killer was molested by his crazy, dead uncle, who was a cop, or something?

[Swan]

I'm thinking this killer was molested by his crazy, dead uncle, who was a cop, or something?

Probably.

[Sexy Celebrity]

There goes Jackie drilling him to his death.

[Swan]

It would be genius if there was also a girl killer named Barbie.

[Sexy Celebrity]

At least your favorite survived.

[Swan]

Yeah, that's good.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Did another girl just die?

[Sexy Celebrity]

That movie was horrible.

I'm giving it a generous 0.5.

[Swan]

Of course, the movie has to straighten the picture.

[Sexy Celebrity]

At least the second SPM, though confusing, was at least stupid fun. This was just a mess.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Honeykid and Nostromo were lucky they weren't here for it.

[Swan]

1, same as I gave the first sequel. Really boring.

Thanks for doing the commentary, Sexy. Sorry I wasn't more lively.

[Sexy Celebrity]

That's okay. Thanks.

[Swan]

I can't believe I just gave this a higher rating than Sexy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I really, really disliked it.

[honeykid]

Rapey boobs are sad boobs.
Quoted for truth.

Despite all the moaning, I'm slightly disappointed that I missed out on finishing the trilogy with you guys.

On the other hand, I had much better youtube movies lined up for commentary last night. :p:D

[Sexy Celebrity]

http://www.movieforums.com/community/attachment.php?attachmentid=15873&stc=1&d=1403047219

SCREAM 4

with Honeykid and Swan

NOTE: No Spoilers. Honeykid's never seen this before.

[honeykid]

I'm here.

[Swan]

Ready to go.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Ready?

[honeykid]

Press play

[Swan]

Indubitably.

[Swan]

Playing.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Pressed play.

[honeykid]

Phone's ringing. That's familiar. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

URGH. FBI warning.

Dimension films.

Ringing telephone.

[Swan]

I was in love with this movie when it was in theaters.

[honeykid]

Oh dear. She hung up.

[Sexy Celebrity]

But it's not Drew Barrymore. It's a brunette.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Note the one girl has an old portable phone, and the other girl has a newer cell phone.

This movie is very old vs. new.

[honeykid]

But it's not Drew Barrymore. It's a brunette.

I know. Such a shame.

[Swan]

But it's not Drew Barrymore. It's a brunette.

Much better this way. :D

[honeykid]

I like Drew as a brunette, though. :randy:

[honeykid]

No answer at the door.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Ghostface sends text messages now.

[Swan]

Now that I think about it, this movie may have taught me who Channing Tatum is.

[honeykid]

Ghostface pocket texts?

[Swan]

Anna Paquin and her sexy teeth.

[honeykid]

Now that I think about it, this movie may have taught me who Channing Tatum is.

I still don't know who he is.

[Sexy Celebrity]

STAB 6.

[honeykid]

Movie in movie.

Strange because I was going to say during the first start that the girl answering the phone would be the killer. :D

[Swan]

I want to see Stab 5.

[honeykid]

That's the girl from Friday Night Lights.

[Sexy Celebrity]

So here we have Jenny and Marnie.

Is this another Stab movie?

[honeykid]

She's dead.

[Sexy Celebrity]

There's an alternate opening on the DVD. I think I like it better.

[Swan]

There's an alternate opening on the DVD. I think I like it better.

I remember seeing it but I don't remember what happened. Do you?

[honeykid]

Do I sound like a Trevor to you?

[honeykid]

She has big ****? When did that happen?

[Sexy Celebrity]

I remember seeing it but I don't remember what happened. Do you?

They die differently. And Jenny dies first, followed by Marnie. They die in a different order.

[Swan]

Oh okay.

[honeykid]

Hey! It's our old friend the garage door

[Sexy Celebrity]

There wasn't this garage door scene in the original opening.

[Swan]

Garage door deaths are always the coolest.

[Swan]

Love the cut to the title.

[honeykid]

Once again American neighbours are deaf. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

SCREAM 4.

That opening scene could have been a lot better, I think.

[Swan]

Pun unintended but awesome^

[Sexy Celebrity]

Pulling up in the car.... is SIDNEY PRESCOTT!

And her publicist, Rebecca Walters.

Sidney's an author now. She wrote a book about her life.

[honeykid]

Axel F!

[Sexy Celebrity]

David Arquette and Courteney Cox. Before the divorce. Or, rather, at the start of it.

[honeykid]

Oh, it's the Cheerleader. She looks better as a brunette, too. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

Coming down the street is Kirby Reed.

The new best friend.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Coming out of the house is Jill Roberts. Sidney's teenage cousin.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Olivia Morris, the blonde bimbo.

[honeykid]

Jill is either the killer or the new Sidney.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I thought she was the killer, too. We will see.

[honeykid]

OK, unless there's more than one killer again, which I doubt. That's the new Sidney.

[Swan]

Oh, it's the Cheerleader. She looks better as a brunette, too. :D

I got a PM so I missed this. Who's the cheerleader?

[Sexy Celebrity]

This is Judy Hicks.

She has a crush on Dewey.

[honeykid]

I got a PM so I missed this. Who's the cheerleader?
The best friend who picked her up in the car. She was the Cheerleader in Heroes.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Gale's checking out Sidney on her computer.

[Sexy Celebrity]

SHE HAS NO F**KING IDEA WHAT TO WRITE!

[honeykid]

OK, unless there's more than one killer again, which I doubt. That's the new Sidney.
Unless that's the early double bluff. :D I'm second guessing myself already.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Guy with the headset is Robbie Mercer.

[Swan]

These guys are my favorite characters in the movie. They remind me of myself in High School.

[honeykid]

OK, she's the killer. She's already given it up. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

Rory Culkin is Charlie Walker. The new Randy.

Trevor Sheldon = Jill's ex-boyfriend. The new Billy.

[Swan]

Courtney ***

[honeykid]

Does anyone watch Cougar Town?

[Swan]

Does anyone watch Cougar Town?

No but I like Courtney Cox.

[honeykid]

Can't this wait Barney Fife?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Does anyone watch Cougar Town?

No.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Damn, I'm like 20 seconds behind HK.

[honeykid]

I like the new love interest shushes Gale. :D

[honeykid]

Pausing.