Sexy Celebrity's Movie Commentaries!

[honeykid]

Are you sure that's not Carl Weathers? :D

Macho ******** ahoy!

[honeykid]

You got no style Dutch, you know that. C'mon, why'd you pass?

We're a rescue team, not assassins.

[honeykid]

My team always works alone. You know that.

We all have our orders.

[honeykid]

Cue rock n roll chopper ride. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm just drinking in the movie.

Little Richard.

[Sexy Celebrity]

We're about on sync. I hope you don't get ahead.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I guess that's Jesse Ventura in the hat.

[honeykid]

I'm just drinking in the movie.

Little Richard.
Yeah, the most OTT rock n roller of all time. Perfect for this film.

[honeykid]

The guy telling the joke is the guy who wrote the first Lethal Weapon films.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I forgot about that SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS line.

[honeykid]

I guess that's Jesse Ventura in the hat.
Yep. That's the Mayor of Minnesota.:D

[honeykid]

I forgot how much I miss this Dutch.

You never were that smart.

[honeykid]

And we're on the ground. Looking for bad guys.

[Sexy Celebrity]

It's a very good looking film. Great picture. Very green.

[honeykid]

Crashed chopper in the trees.

[honeykid]

Uh-oh. Dutch is already sus about Dillon.

[Sexy Celebrity]

What do you think is so bad about this movie? How it gets worse every time you watch it.

[honeykid]

Billy's having a suck on a twig. :D There's something wrong.

[honeykid]

What do you think is so bad about this movie? How it gets worse every time you watch it.

I'm not really sure. I suppose it's not that it gets worse, so much as it looks worse.

Kicks the bird. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

Those dead bodies remind me of the dead bodies hanging in the room in Hellraiser II.

[honeykid]

it is one of the 80's films though. This is what happens when you have too much money and coke and decide to take all your macho mates to the jungle for 3 months. :D

[honeykid]

It's like they just disappeared.

[honeykid]

It's time for old painless.

[honeykid]

Predator vision.

[honeykid]

I spy with my little eye, something beginning with invisible alien killing machine.

[honeykid]

You give away our position and I'll bleed ya, real quiet and leave you here. You got that?

[Sexy Celebrity]

I think what's strange about this movie is that it's kinda like a film like Aliens, yet, the hero is Arnold Schwarzenegger.

It's such a cheat. It's like it should just be someone else. Someone not like... him. It's a strange movie for him to do.

[Sexy Celebrity]

But, I guess it's about macho sportsmanship between two strong men from different planets.

[honeykid]

How is it like Aliens? I think it's a perfect movie for him to do.

[honeykid]

But, I guess it's about macho sportsmanship between two strong men from different planets.

Yeah, kind of. It's Arnie (Mr Universe) representing the whole of mankind and winning. Arnie couldn't have had a bigger hard on for this role if he tried.

[honeykid]

Anyway, the starter course is about to be served. These are just rebels. Bah, this'll be easy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

How is it like Aliens? I think it's a perfect movie for him to do.

Well, for starters, it's associated with Aliens because of the Aliens vs. Predator thing.

And it just has that... strange killing machine/something unknown/something foreign/something monstrous battling humans kind of vibe. In most of these movies -- at least from what I've seen -- you don't get someone like Arnold Schwarzenegger to be the hero. It's usually someone... weaker. Or they put in a woman with manly strength, like Sigourney.

[honeykid]

I like that he cuts the band, which must've been powering something and yet no one notices that the power's out.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yeah, kind of. It's Arnie (Mr Universe) representing the whole of mankind and winning. Arnie couldn't have had a bigger hard on for this role if he tried.

I sort of feel like if this movie had come out later -- like, in the '90s -- Arnold wouldn't have done this movie. I could be wrong, but I feel that way. Like maybe this was just to up his career. I think this movie could have been done without him.

[honeykid]

Well, for starters, it's associated with Aliens because of the Aliens vs. Predator thing.
That's just fandom. It might pay the bills atm, but I take no notice of it. You're right, though. It's just it's not how I think about these things.

And it just has that... strange killing machine/something unknown/something foreign/something monstrous battling humans kind of vibe. In most of these movies -- at least from what I've seen -- you don't get someone like Arnold Schwarzenegger to be the hero. It's usually someone... weaker. Or they put in a woman with manly strength, like Sigourney.
I think this is more since Ripley, actually. Go back to the 50's and it's always a good, strong American hero, usually teamed with a scientist, who's saving the day from the alien hoards.

As for the film, it's still boom time and arnie's just said his first Arnie lines.

Throws knife in man's chest. Stick around


Busts in door. Knock, knock.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I wonder why people just sit around watching people just shoot guns like this nonstop. I mean, the people who watch movies like this. 'Cause it feels kind of boring to me just to observe shooting for minutes and minutes and minutes.

[honeykid]

I sort of feel like if this movie had come out later -- like, in the '90s -- Arnold wouldn't have done this movie. I could be wrong, but I feel that way. Like maybe this was just to up his career. I think this movie could have been done without him.

I don't think he'd have done it either. But it's because he's done it that he's moving away from it.

[honeykid]

You're bleeding man

I ain't got time to bleed.

Oh. OK.

[honeykid]

You set us UUUUUPPPPP

This is allll BBuuuuuuuuuuuulllllllllllllsssssssssssshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttt. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

Is it a requirement that Arnold have closeups where he just says one-liners like, "Stick around!"

What started this?

[honeykid]

What happened to you, Dillon? You used to be someone I could trust.

I woke up.

[honeykid]

Is it a requirement that Arnold have closeups where he just says one-liners like, "Stick around!"

What started this?
But that's his thing.

The earliest I can think of is Bond but it's probably before that. In the 80's it was everything, though. I swear the deaths were only as inventive as they were because someone had a line for the hero to say afterwards.

[honeykid]

I love how dramatic the music is all through this film, even when nothing is happening. :D

[honeykid]

Pussy joke #2. Billy actually likes this one.

[Sexy Celebrity]

When did you first see this? Did you rent it from the drive-by-video store?

[honeykid]

Billy's spider sense is tingling again.

[honeykid]

When did you first see this? Did you rent it from the drive-by-video store?
I think those days were over by then. I rented this from my regular video store.

[honeykid]

Predator has cold hands.

[honeykid]

Here we go. More action music for no reason. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

Predator has computer vision. Maybe in the future, we'll have that.

[honeykid]

Into the valley.

[honeykid]

This ****'s something. Makes Cambodia look like Kansas.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Here we go. More action music for no reason. :D

It's to help keep you awake. I like it.

[honeykid]

Predator has computer vision. Maybe in the future, we'll have that.

Well, it's heat vision, so we already have it.

[honeykid]

Maybe you should put her on a leash, Agent man.

[honeykid]

in the 80's, nothing can be quiet. Even in suspensesful scenes where it'd be better.

[Sexy Celebrity]

We already have it coming with Google Glasses.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I have an app on my phone that lets you see things in Terminator vision.

[honeykid]

And the girl's about to make a run for it again.

[Sexy Celebrity]

in the 80's, nothing can be quiet. Even in suspensesful scenes where it'd be better.

Everything was loud in the '80s.

[honeykid]

There's something in those trees.

[honeykid]

Everything was loud in the '80s.

You ain't kidding. Actually, maybe there's where Michael bay would be appreciated.

[Sexy Celebrity]

So, because he's Native American, he has a keener sense of nature and can sense the Predator?

[honeykid]

So, because he's Native American, he has a keener sense of nature and can sense the Predator?

Yep. :D No racial stereotyping at all back then. :D

[honeykid]

Here goes the first one.

SPLAT

[honeykid]

So, because he's Native American, he has a keener sense of nature and can sense the Predator?

It's also the reason he's the only other one to go mano-a-mano with the Predator.

[honeykid]

Major, you'd better take a look at this

You find Hawkins?

I... I can't tell.

[Sexy Celebrity]

It's also the reason he's the only other one to go mano-a-mano with the Predator.

Yes, I remember that. He's on a bridge and he rips his shirt off.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I think I thought he was so stupid for doing that.

[honeykid]

That's right.

[honeykid]

The 80's really did have a fetish for big guns.

[Sexy Celebrity]

For a moment I thought Arnold Schwarzenegger looked like Barack Obama.

[honeykid]

:laugh:

[Sexy Celebrity]

A profile of his face up close made me think that. I had to Google search Obama for a picture to compare.

[honeykid]

Chest explodes. You're right, this is Alien. :D

Duke's is about to let loose.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This movie kinda reminds me of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids the way they're all in the forest, monstrous things surrounding them. Lots of music. I haven't seen that movie in FOREVER. I used to love it.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Actually, this isn't the forest. This is the jungle.

[honeykid]

:rotfl:

There's a combination I wouldn't have put together.

[honeykid]

No blood, no bodies. We hit nothing.

[honeykid]

And the bromance continues even in death.

[honeykid]

Predator blood.

[Sexy Celebrity]

In Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, I remember they would have to run when they saw an ant, because they were so little and the ant was like a giant to them. It's kinda like this. Ants are another lifeform, just like predators to humans.

[honeykid]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/2c/Them02.jpg/225px-Them02.jpg

[honeykid]

This music cracks me up here.

[honeykid]

Glo in the dark blood.

[honeykid]

Predator doesn't have health insurance and has to do his own repairs.

[honeykid]

Nothing on this earth could've lived. Not at that range.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I really like the fact that we see Predator fixing himself because we can see all of the detail to his costume/look.

[honeykid]

Mac's like a cockney. When he's whispering, it's time to be afraid.

[honeykid]

I really like the fact that we see Predator fixing himself because we can see all of the detail to his costume/look.

It was a great piece of kit. It was quite the thing back then. There was a lot of press about it.

[Sexy Celebrity]

It was a great piece of kit. It was quite the thing back then. There was a lot of press about it.

It's pretty remarkable.

[honeykid]

Military bugle again. :D It just feels so out of place in this film.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Somehow, I think you're now about a minute ahead of me even though we were in sync.

[honeykid]

It's pretty remarkable.

Originally they wanted JCVD to play the Predator, but when they got him in they realised he was just too small with all these guys around.

[honeykid]

Mac's just killed the pig. Tell me when you're there.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Originally they wanted JCVD to play the Predator, but when they got him in they realised he was just too small with all these guys around.

What's the point of disguising JCVD in all that costume?

[Sexy Celebrity]

I hear a pig.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Stabbing action. Pig growling.

[honeykid]

What's the point of disguising JCVD in all that costume?

He was pretty much unknown then. I think No Retreat, No Surrender had come out, but that's it.

[honeykid]

I wonder if he had a cabinet for all his trophies? Maybe he had them on the wall. I wonder if Mrs. Predator liked them.

[honeykid]

She speaks English. No one out there seems surprised.

[honeykid]

If it bleeds, we can kill it.

[honeykid]

Prep montage.

[honeykid]

You all right there SC?

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm here.

[honeykid]

You hadn't said anything for about 5 minutes.

[honeykid]

Mac's about to break his razor.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I was also checking the '70s thread and they were talking about Deadite and I suddenly remembered something about Deadite.

[honeykid]

Only in the hottest years this happens. This year it grows hot.

[honeykid]

The villagers called it The demon who makes trophies of man.

[honeykid]

There's the poster for the film.

[honeykid]

Get to the chopper! :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

This film just isn't all that exciting.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And it feels all rather pointless because everyone dies except Arnold.

[honeykid]

You couldn't tell that from the music, though.:D

[honeykid]

And it feels all rather pointless because everyone dies except Arnold.
Yeah, it's an action film. Everyone dies but the hero... Unless you're a big enough star to survive or they need you for a sequel.

[Sexy Celebrity]

It should at least be two or three people who live.

[honeykid]

Head shot. All over the camera.

[honeykid]

It didn't kill you because you weren't armed. No sport.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Does Predator make them think they're hearing voices?

[honeykid]

And that's the biggest problem with the film. All they have to do is put down their guns and walk to the chopper. Everyone lives. No film. But everyone lives. :D

[honeykid]

Does Predator make them think they're hearing voices?

Yeah, he mimics the sounds he hears. Like birdwatchers mimic calls.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And that's the biggest problem with the film. All they have to do is put down their guns and walk to the chopper. Everyone lives. No film. But everyone lives. :D

Even if they had made it to the chopper, Predator would have still destroyed the chopper.

[honeykid]

Billy. Don't be a hero. :D

[honeykid]

Even if they had made it to the chopper, Predator would have still destroyed the chopper.

Not if it wasn't armed. Well, that'd be the theory, anyway. :D

[honeykid]

There goes Billy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Does that woman live? I thought she died.

[honeykid]

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

GET TO THE CHOPPER!!!

Cracks me up every time he delivers that line.

[honeykid]

Does that woman live? I thought she died.
No, she lives. But she's a woman, so she doesn't count in this film.

[honeykid]

I forgot to mention the passing of Apollo Creed and his one arm shooting.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I also have an Arnold soundboard app on my phone and it says "GET TO THE CHOPPA!!!" I could make it my ringtone or notification sound if I want.

[honeykid]

Arnie's mudbath has made him invisible to the Predator. The roles are reversed.

[honeykid]

He couldn't see me.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Arnie's mudbath has made him invisible to the Predator. The roles are reversed.

How come? It hides his heat?

[honeykid]

Cue another prep montage. This time for the big showdown.

[honeykid]

How come? It hides his heat?
Yes. It means it can't distinguish between the rest of the jungle and Arnie.

[honeykid]

And now some trophy polishing.

[honeykid]

More skulls. Just like a serial killer. Ah, memories. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

Playing with his skulls.

[honeykid]

Arnie applying his war make-up.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yes. It means it can't distinguish between the rest of the jungle and Arnie.

But couldn't it see his eyes?

[honeykid]

Inviting the Predator to a fight with a big Tarzan roar and a fire.

[honeykid]

But couldn't it see his eyes?
It would appear not. Not that it'd recognise that's what it was seeing anyway.

[honeykid]

In full panto mode. HE's BEHIND YOU!

[Sexy Celebrity]

Actually, the ending now seems better than the rest of the movie to me.

[honeykid]

The ending is better.

[honeykid]

It's the showpiece of the film.

[Sexy Celebrity]

It's a shame Arnold didn't do the sequel to this movie.

I don't know what happens in the sequel, really (aren't they in a city? An apartment complex?) but I could imagine a similar sequel to Aliens working here -- with Arnold getting out of this, and suddenly, HUNDREDS of predators appear and suddenly this movie is a cake walk compared to what he has to go through in the sequel.

[honeykid]

The second one is Danny Glover as a cop in LA.

[honeykid]

With his spear here, Arnie always reminds me of Lord Of The Flies.

[honeykid]

It's a shame Arnold didn't do the sequel to this movie.

I don't know what happens in the sequel, really (aren't they in a city? An apartment complex?) but I could imagine a similar sequel to Aliens working here -- with Arnold getting out of this, and suddenly, HUNDREDS of predators appear and suddenly this movie is a cake walk compared to what he has to go through in the sequel.
The problem with that is, having shown how difficult it is to kill one of them, having hundreds is going to be too difficult.

[honeykid]

Oops. The mud's come off.

[honeykid]

He has a very cold nose. Maybe it's part dog?

[honeykid]

The unveiling. It's like Darth Vader.

[Sexy Celebrity]

http://www.movieforums.com/community/attachment.php?attachmentid=16488&stc=1&d=1406601833

[honeykid]

Let me look at you with my own eyes. :D

[honeykid]

You are one ugly mother****er.

[honeykid]

Bad idea.

[Sexy Celebrity]

The mouth on Predator looks vaginal. Maybe that's why there were a lot of pussy jokes.

In fact, something I'm reading is saying Predator has a man vs. woman theme going on.

[honeykid]

If he'd just done this in the first place, then the others could've stood around them like in the playground chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT"

[honeykid]

The mouth on Predator looks vaginal..
Wow. You really are gay. :D

[honeykid]

It has Satan's hair.

[honeykid]

What the hell are you?

[honeykid]

MMWWWWWWWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Sexy Celebrity]

It has Satan's hair.

No wonder you badly wanted to watch this.

[honeykid]

lol... I recorded it the other day. I can wipe it now.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Predator committed suicide.

[honeykid]

That escape is even worse than Steve Guttenburg surviving a nuclear blast by hiding in a shop.

[Sexy Celebrity]

'Cause suicide is painless.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And what is with these stupid end credits where they all look at the camera and smile?!

[Sexy Celebrity]

Is it like their battle poses?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Arnold was the only one who didn't smile.

[honeykid]

And that's your lot.

4 It's a little too high, but I do love it so.

[honeykid]

Arnold was the only one who didn't smile.

Arnie's too badass to smile.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I give it 2.5 tonight.

[honeykid]

Thanks for the commentary, SC. :)

[Sexy Celebrity]

Thank you.

[Sexy Celebrity]

1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THIS COMMENTARY THREAD!

http://www.movieforums.com/community/attachment.php?attachmentid=16546&stc=1&d=1406849946

TANGO & CASH

With Miss Vicky!

[Miss Vicky]

at the main menu, tell me when.

[Swan]

Starring Rocky and MacReady.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Press Play.

[Miss Vicky]

here goes.

[Miss Vicky]

Okay, let's do it.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Not sure how this will go. I haven't watched this since 2009.

[Miss Vicky]

I haven't watched this movie in forever.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm not even really sure what it's about. They're cops working together. Something like that.

[Miss Vicky]

All I remember from it is bare asses, evil Jack Palance and a rat maze in there somewhere.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I remember Kurt Russell in drag and him and Sylvester Stallone naked in a prison.

[Sexy Celebrity]

All I remember from it is bare asses, evil Jack Palance and a rat maze in there somewhere.

Yeah, that's the first thing that comes to mind here, too. Bare asses.

[Miss Vicky]

Sly can't shoot through the windshield with his revolver. His equipment is inadequate.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And Sylvester Stallone here in eyeglasses and a suit.

[Miss Vicky]

Glad you could drop in. Like jewelry?

F*** You.

I prefer blondes.

[Sexy Celebrity]

That cop guy with a mustache was on Mama's Family once.

[Miss Vicky]

He actually looks kind of hot in that suit and glasses.

[Sexy Celebrity]

BIG CITY BOY!

[Miss Vicky]

Rambo is a pussy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Stallone is taste testing some cocaine that came out of a tractor trailer.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Rich villains in a limousine. Looks like one of them is Asian.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now we're in the ghetto.

[Miss Vicky]

Enter Kurt Russell

[Miss Vicky]

Well if it isn't Armani with a badge.

[Miss Vicky]

Evil asian guy hiding in Cash's apartment. Foot chase scene ensues.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Kurt Russell almost got killed. I guess he's got a bulletproof vest on.

The killer is an Asian guy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Homeless woman lost her buggy full of stuff thanks to evil Asian man in a truck with lots of lights on.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now there's a car chase scene in a parking garage. Two people having sex in a car interrupted. Small boobs.

[Miss Vicky]

What's the matter, Ace? Got a little headache?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Foreign guy pissed off over his car getting totaled. Kurt Russell captures the evil Asian man who tried to kill him.

[Miss Vicky]

I glanced away and must've missed the boobs. Oh well, if they were small I guess I didn't miss much.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Sylvester Stallone still in his sexy suit and glasses.

Woman in his office.

Blinds open. Sunlight. Long curly hair on woman.

[rauldc14]

I miss commentaries :(. I'd love to do one tomorrow.

[Miss Vicky]

Grime, crime and slime.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Katherine looks like she's ready for a Janet Jackson concert or something.

[Miss Vicky]

Curly haired chick in the horrible 80s clothes is leaving.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Kurt Russell shirtless in an old fashioned elevator. Looks great in his jeans.

[Miss Vicky]

Shirtless Kurt Russell, bitching about the destruction of a $9 shirt.

[Miss Vicky]

Asian dude at the urinal.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Asian policeman urinating at a urinal in a cop's locker room with Kurt Russell.

[Miss Vicky]

I don't think these interrogation tactics are quite legal.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Wait a minute. That's the bad guy. Why is he dressed like a cop? Did he try to sneak out????

[Miss Vicky]

Not a policeman, the bad guy he arrested.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And if he is trying to sneak out, why would he bother to piss first?

[Miss Vicky]

What is this?!

English. 101.

[Sexy Celebrity]

The evil limousine.

[Miss Vicky]

If you really wanted to stare death in the eye, you should've gotten married.

Is that a proposal?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Some kind of warehouse with people building guns or something.

[Miss Vicky]

Pure 80s action cheese.

[Sexy Celebrity]

A large conference room with a wall full of televisions playing Tango & Cash (not the movie, the people).

[Miss Vicky]

Ray Tango, how he loves to dance. He waltzes in and takes all my drugs and then tangos back out again.

[Miss Vicky]

Jack Palance doesn't like quick and easy.

Rat maze scene.

[Sexy Celebrity]

An old, white haired bad guy in an all white suit.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Oh, no wonder you own this. Mice.

[Miss Vicky]

Two little mice, so much damage.

[Miss Vicky]

Oh, no wonder you own this. Mice.

Those are rats, actually.

[Sexy Celebrity]

So they want a large shipment of weapons.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Those are rats, actually.

Oh. Well, he said "mice."

[Miss Vicky]

Pony tail guy - that actor is always playing villains/henchmen.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Man with slicked back hair that ends in a small knot of a ponytail.

[Miss Vicky]

cheesy 80s score.

[Miss Vicky]

I think I voted for this movie for the 80s list. It didn't make the cut. :laugh:

[Sexy Celebrity]

Kurt Russell. Smoke. A huge building. Running. Legs. Jeans. Shoes. Steps. Suit. Gun.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Stallone and Russell run into each other. Guns at each other.

[Miss Vicky]

Tango and Cash, face to face.

[Miss Vicky]

Sly's got a gun to Russell's crotch.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I would love to shampoo and condition Kurt Russell's hair here.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Is that guy with a bomb strapped to his chest dead?

[Miss Vicky]

I would love to shampoo and condition Kurt Russell's hair here.

I'd love to do a lot of things to both of them in this movie, but I don't think washing their hair is among those things.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'd love to do a lot of things to both of them in this movie, but I don't think washing their hair is among those things.

Foreplay.

[Miss Vicky]

Framed!

[Miss Vicky]

Kurt Russell's gun found at the scene of the dead guy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Stallone didn't come with Russell.