Sexy Celebrity's Movie Commentaries!

[Sexy Celebrity]

The new victim reaches out for Kirsty's hand for help, barely alive.

Frank finishes him off with his thirsty hand then shoves him down.

Frank -- darker, redder, but still skinless - traps Kirsty in the attic.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Kirsty escapes the house with the puzzlebox.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Wakes up in a hospital room on a bed. A nurse watching a TV showing a blooming flower.

[Sexy Celebrity]

It looks like the Channard Institute, where Kirsty will wind up in the sequel.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Kirsty plays with the puzzlebox.

[Sexy Celebrity]

A wall opens up -- revealing a mysterious hallway -- into another world -- into, what Kirsty doesn't know yet -- is Hell.

[Sexy Celebrity]

A monster before her. A hideous face. Scary eyes. A bizarre tail. It climbs its way towards her, its legs on the walls. It's coming after her. Its large mouth, biting in hope.

[Sexy Celebrity]

It has a name, too -- THE ENGINEER.

It looks like something from Alien.

I'm rewinding this scene just to enjoy it.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Kirsty escapes the monster -- but she isn't escaping Hell.

The Cenobites are coming for her.

[Sexy Celebrity]

The cenobites make the cracks in the panels of the walls glow and smoke upon their arrival.

An IV bag bursts with blood. A lamp breaks.

[Sexy Celebrity]

An obscene creature with a wide open mouth and wires appears before Kirsty. Walks towards her. Puts its fingers in her mouth. Gags her.

Three more creatures arrive. One female. One fat. The other - Pinhead.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Pinhead describes themselves as "Explorers in the further regions of experience. Demons to some, angels to some."

[Sexy Celebrity]

http://www.movieforums.com/community/attachment.php?attachmentid=11106&stc=1&d=1377412666

THE CENOBITES.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Movies I've Done Commentary For
Funny Games (1997)
Night of the Demons (1988)
Serial Mom
Caligula
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Apollo 13
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
Young Guns
Scream 2
Beetlejuice (with Miss Vicky)
Dahmer
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot
Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers
Men at Work (with Miss Vicky)
The Place Beyond the Pines
Mrs. Doubtfire (as Samantha Claire)
Ghostbusters (with Psychic Isaac)
Signs (with Miss Vicky)
Hedwig and the Angry Inch (with Miss Vicky)
Independence Day (with rauldc14)
Hellraiser

[Mmmm Donuts]

Whoa...

[Sexy Celebrity]

*sigh* I love that movie, but that's the worst commentary yet, and it's all this site's fault.

[Mmmm Donuts]

You did one for Caligula? That's...interesting.

[The Gunslinger45]

You did one for Caligula? That's...interesting.

That one was fun!

[nebbit]

Can't get involved :( as i am sleeping here in Australia while this is going on :bawling:

[Miss Vicky]

What movie are you up for tonight, Sexy?

[Sexy Celebrity]

I was thinking either Ghost World or Die Hard?

[Miss Vicky]

I'm game for either.

[Sexy Celebrity]

http://www.movieforums.com/community/attachment.php?attachmentid=11112&stc=1&d=1377579181

Die Hard. I'm drinking and I'm in the mood for action and Bruce Willis.

Special Guest:

Miss Vicky

[Miss Vicky]

Poppin' it in the player now

[Miss Vicky]

at the disc menu. tell me when.

[Mmmm Donuts]

Wow, that poster does not do the movie justice :(

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm all set. Hit play.

[Miss Vicky]

play pressed

[Miss Vicky]

I haven't seen this movie in ages

[Miss Vicky]

Watching it and Die Hard 2 used to be a Christmas tradition in my house

[Miss Vicky]

The secret to surviving air travel: take off your shoes and socks and make fists with your toes

[Miss Vicky]

I totally have that stuffed bear

[Miss Vicky]

though mine's bigger

[Sexy Celebrity]

I dunno what to say. Kids are answering a phone.

[Miss Vicky]

Brie. lol everytime I hear that word I think of the QAF line about it tasting like c*m

[Sexy Celebrity]

I know what line you're referring to. Debbie says it.

[Miss Vicky]

Yep.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I have the first three seasons of QAF. I've seen most of the show... there might be some from 4 and 5 that I haven't seen. I'm not sure if I saw the final episode.

[Sexy Celebrity]

We could do TV shows here, too. I saw you have Roseanne. I have some seasons of that.

[Miss Vicky]

I have the entire series. I also have the Brit version but it sucks. The guys aren't hot at all.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I've only seen clips of the British version (the sex stuff).

[Miss Vicky]

Mexican nanny, black limo driver. No stereotypes. No stereotypes at all.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Okay, so Bruce Willis has to be the sexiest man ever.

[Miss Vicky]

Um, no.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'd like to be in California seeing all of this. I've only been to California once.

[Miss Vicky]

California's overrated

[Sexy Celebrity]

These opening credits TAKE FOREVER.

[Miss Vicky]

What is this Run DMC?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now I'd like a cigarette. All these bad impulses are coming out.

[Miss Vicky]

Car phone. LOL. It's also not dated, at all.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Was he upset by seeing Holly's name be Gennaro instead of McClane?

[Miss Vicky]

uh oh, she's registered under her maiden name

[Miss Vicky]

I forgot how slow this movie is in the beginning.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I can't believe the limo driver doesn't get killed or anything. He just spends the whole movie listening to Stevie Wonder.

[Sexy Celebrity]

No, Bruce Willis is gorgeous. He's the ideal man.

[Miss Vicky]

F*ckin' California

[Sexy Celebrity]

I wish there was millions of Bruce Willises in the world.

[Miss Vicky]

Eh, he doesn't do anything for me.

[Sexy Celebrity]

My dream is that all of the men are just copies of all the famous men I love. Genetic clones. Is that very Hitler of me? Am I wanting my own Aryan race?

[Miss Vicky]

Pearl Harbor didn't work out so we got you with tape decks.

[Miss Vicky]

Pretty sure you and Adolf don't have much common ground.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And all of the women can be copies of all the famous women from these movies. Like, there can be millions of Holly Gennaros.

[Sexy Celebrity]

God, he's so hot in this bathroom scene.

[Miss Vicky]

I wouldn't like that. Holly's not sexy. Look at her hair, it looks like a helmet or something.

[Sexy Celebrity]

She's crazy to be separated with him. I'd be putting Crazy Glue on my body and just jumping on him.

[Sexy Celebrity]

She's a Space Cadet.

[Miss Vicky]

and she's wearing SHOULDER PADS. WTF were women thinking in the 80s? Shoulder pads are for football players, they shouldn't ever be a damn fashion statement!

[Miss Vicky]

Shoulder pads and helmet hair. UGH.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I can't always tell when a woman is wearing shoulder pads. Let me look....

[Sexy Celebrity]

But damn, look at him in this wifebeater. And that ass. Yum.

[Miss Vicky]

:shrug:

Nope. Nothing

[Sexy Celebrity]

That poor man. Had to get shot and killed.

[Miss Vicky]

He's got the the rough around the edges masculinity thing down too well.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Wooooo. I feel good. I'm on my last beer, though.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Uh oh. Here comes the tractor trailer.

[Miss Vicky]

Alan Rickman. He's hot in this, but hotter in Robin Hood.

[Sexy Celebrity]

They are taking over the Nakatomi!

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yes, I do understand Alan Rickman desires.

[Miss Vicky]

Not hot as Snape though. Nothing about anything to do with Harry Potter will ever be hot.

[Sexy Celebrity]

He's got a nice nose.

[Miss Vicky]

You could put Joaquin in a Potter movie and all hotness would be drained away.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I wouldn't mind getting it on with Snape.

[Sexy Celebrity]

FOOT FETISH ALERT! Bruce Willis barefoot.

[Miss Vicky]

Snape, snape, Savarus Snape...

Have you seen the Potter Puppet Pals? (as my ADD mind goes on a tangent)

[Sexy Celebrity]

I can just smell the masculinity from my TV set.

[Miss Vicky]

Feet are gross.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Skeletons! (Stevie Wonder song)

[Miss Vicky]

Mr. Blond German Man is not hot.

[Sexy Celebrity]

That song he's listening to in the limo is called "Skeletons." I loved it when I was a kid. I had a cassette single of it.

[Sexy Celebrity]

No, the blond German guy is not hot at all.

[Miss Vicky]

I only know like two Stevie Wonder songs: Superstition and I Just Called to Say I Love You.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I haven't seen Potter Puppet Pals.

[Miss Vicky]

Random boobs.

[Miss Vicky]

You should YouTube the "Mysterious Ticking Noise" I think that's what it's called. It's pretty funny

[Sexy Celebrity]

I didn't see the boobs.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Alrighty.

[Sexy Celebrity]

That must be scary -- being surrounded by men with guns.

[Miss Vicky]

There was some woman having sex with some dude on the desk in one of the offices.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Oh yeah, I think I kinda saw that.

You might be a second or two ahead of me.

[Sexy Celebrity]

At least they shook hands.

[Miss Vicky]

Alan knows his fashion.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Miss Vicky, what would it be like to make out with Alan Rickman? Describe it using your erotic writing skills.

[Miss Vicky]

Uh... prickly. That beard would be prickly.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I think they're gonna kill Mr. Nakatomi, if that's his name. I can't remember this movie scene for scene, but I think that's what happens.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Just give him the damn code.

[Miss Vicky]

splat!

[Sexy Celebrity]

I wonder if that hurt.

[Miss Vicky]

giant glasses guy was not brought along for his charming personality.

[Miss Vicky]

meanwhile Argyle is still grooving in the limo with the bear, chattin' up a lady.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This movie makes me wish it was the '80s and I could go to the movies and see this film for the first time.

That last one -- A Good Day to Die Hard -- my God was it awful....

[Sexy Celebrity]

and the damn limo is still playing Stevie Wonder's "Skeletons"

[Miss Vicky]

What's with all the fug men in this? Rickman's hot. Willis is do-able. The rest? No.

[Miss Vicky]

I like Die Hard 2 best. Die Hard With a Vengeance has a certain amount of awesome to it, as all Samuel L. Jackson movies do.

[Sexy Celebrity]

They're foreigners.

[Miss Vicky]

I bet even Snakes On A Plane has a certain amount of awesome to it.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I like this one the best. I thought Die Hard 2 was really good the first time I watched it, but when I watched it again, I thought it was too slow.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Have you seen Snakes on a Plane?

[Miss Vicky]

No, I haven't.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I have. But not since it came out. I remember liking it.

[Miss Vicky]

I've been meaning to watch it. I do love me some Samuel L. Jackson.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This seems kind of low budget compared to the other Die Hard movies.

[Sexy Celebrity]

"You bet your ass I wish to proceed."

[Miss Vicky]

Feet.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Feet.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I hate long haired blonde foreign men.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now I Have A Machine Gun.

Ho-Ho-Ho.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Look at him go.

[Miss Vicky]

http://johannalindsey.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/fabio.jpg

[Sexy Celebrity]

I wanna do this. I wish it was possible to be Bruce Willis in Die Hard for a day.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Do I sound like I'm ordering a PIZZA?!

[Miss Vicky]

Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?!

[Sexy Celebrity]

Even the police are jerking off Bruce Willis.

[Miss Vicky]

Come the f*ck down here and arrest me, just send the police now.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Family Matters!

[Miss Vicky]

Twinkies

I thought you guys just ate donuts.

[Sexy Celebrity]

All this movie needs is Urkel.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Cheap gas.

[Miss Vicky]

did I do that?

[Miss Vicky]

boobs

[Sexy Celebrity]

I missed the boobs again.

[Sexy Celebrity]

What are boobs, exactly? I've never heard of them.

[Miss Vicky]

I think there's something wrong with my ovaries. I look at Bruce Willis: nothing. I notice random t*ts on a calendar but am not impressed by Mr. Masculinity whereas the other night I was all hot for John Cusack. lol

[Sexy Celebrity]

You just have a different style of men that you're into.

[Sexy Celebrity]

It's like I theorize -- you're more into softer, more feminine kind of men. I'm into these masculine Gods.

[Miss Vicky]

Now I know what a TV Dinner feels like.

[Miss Vicky]

It's like I theorize -- you're more into softer, more feminine kind of men. I'm into these masculine Gods.

and how does Russell Crowe fit into that?

[Sexy Celebrity]

This movie is making me hungry. I want a pizza.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I don't watch much Russell Crowe stuff.

[Miss Vicky]

I had pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner. :laugh:

[Sexy Celebrity]

There's a lot of Stevie Wonder references in this.

[Miss Vicky]

Who's driving this car, STEVIE WONDER?

[Sexy Celebrity]

What kind of pizza did you have?

[Miss Vicky]

I don't watch much Russell Crowe stuff.

You should. He's hot. And talented. He was my favorite actor for that quick second between seeing Gladiator and seeing Quills.

[Miss Vicky]

What kind of pizza did you have?

Chicken bacon ranch.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I've heard this Reginald Vel Johnson guy (the "Family Matters" cop) is gay.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Papa John's again? I don't think mine has Chicken Bacon Ranch as an option.

[Miss Vicky]

Really? he doesn't set off my 'dar at all.

[Sexy Celebrity]

How did Bruce get a different tank top?

[Miss Vicky]

F*cking Christmas music.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I dunno. If you pay attention, I kinda get the gay vibes from him.

[Miss Vicky]

Jesus H. Christ!

[Sexy Celebrity]

THAT DAMN STEVIE WONDER SONG -- is STILL PLAYING.

[Miss Vicky]

Welcome to the party, pal.

[Miss Vicky]

Argyle's got that sh*t on repeat 1.

[Miss Vicky]

hey it's that annoying guy from Ghostbusters.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This is all INCONVENIENT TIMING.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Ghostbusters?

[Miss Vicky]

Sorry Hans, wrong guess. Would you like to go for double jeopardy where the scores can really change?

[Miss Vicky]

Ghostbusters?

The dude who tries to get the Ghostbusters shut down. He was on the screen for a sec.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yippie Kai Yay, Mother****er.

[Miss Vicky]

Yippee Kai Yay Motherf*cker!

[Miss Vicky]

you got some bad ass perpetrators and they're here to stay.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I want a CIGARETTE!

[Miss Vicky]

Call me Roy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Moviemakerking, I know you're reading. Speak up.

[Miss Vicky]

Where's John Bender when you need him?

[Miss Vicky]

Gennero. Miss Gennero.

[Miss Vicky]

Argyle is still oblivious

[Sexy Celebrity]

Did she put down that picture of John earlier?

[Miss Vicky]

http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/armenatoyan/default/principal-richard-vernon-breakfast-club--large-msg-130869844039.jpg

[Miss Vicky]

Did she put down that picture of John earlier?

Don't know.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Oh, that's him?

[Miss Vicky]

That's the cop guy in charge, not the Ghostbusters guy I mentioned earlier.

[Sexy Celebrity]

He's dead now, I believe.

[Miss Vicky]

(I suck at character actor names, apparently)

[Miss Vicky]

You macho a$$holes! No, No!

[Miss Vicky]

What have we here gentlemen? The police have themselves an R.V.

[Miss Vicky]

Oh my god, the quarterback is toast!

[Miss Vicky]

Willis: F*ck me.

Sexy: :randy:

MV: :indifferent:

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yeah, I thought that.

[Sexy Celebrity]

At first I was like, "Who's MV?"

But that's you.

[Miss Vicky]

It's gonna need a paint job and sh*tload of screen doors.

[Sexy Celebrity]

"I'm not the one who just got BUTTF**KED."

[Sexy Celebrity]

Family Matters dad wants John McClane.

[Miss Vicky]

Willis: I'm not the one who just got butt f*cked on national T.V.
Sexy: :(

[Sexy Celebrity]

I wouldn't frown.

[Miss Vicky]

sprechen se talk?

[Miss Vicky]

Mr. White Knight is a smarmy bastard

[Miss Vicky]

Twinkies: Everything a growing boy needs.

[Miss Vicky]

The lead reporter guy is the Ghostbusters dude.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Okay.

[Miss Vicky]

Put away the gun, this is radio not television.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Don't ever try to become friendly with the bad guys.

[Miss Vicky]

Mr. White Knight went splat too.

[Miss Vicky]

he's gonna nail McClaine's ass.

[Miss Vicky]

FBI is here. Want a breath mint?

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm sleepy. :yawn:

[Sexy Celebrity]

He should hurt him.

[Miss Vicky]

You want to stay alive, you stay with me.

[Miss Vicky]

I'm sleepy. :yawn:

It's only 11:30 here.

[Miss Vicky]

Looks at bare feet: "It's better than being caught with your pants down, huh?"

[Miss Vicky]

Willis just gave Hans a gun, and now he's just realized who Hans is.

[Miss Vicky]

"You ought to be on f*cking TV with that accent."

[Miss Vicky]

No bullets. You think I'm f*cking stupid, Hans?

[Miss Vicky]

Sexy, you nod off or something?

[Miss Vicky]

Lots of machine gun fire, breaking glass.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Almost.

[Miss Vicky]

They say "Jesus Christ" a lot in this movie.

[Sexy Celebrity]

There's just so much gunfire.

[Sexy Celebrity]

"God, that man looks REALLY PISSED."

[Miss Vicky]

Only John can drive somebody that crazy.

[Miss Vicky]

Oh god, the bloody feet. This always makes me cringe.

[Miss Vicky]

Ah! glass in feet. glass in feet. I can't watch this.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I don't get the point of this guy being in this movie. I mean, I literally feel like I'm watching an episode of Family Matters.

[Miss Vicky]

Family Matters guy shot a kid. He can't live with a mistake.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Maybe he shot Urkel.

[Miss Vicky]

I don't quite get the point of him either.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I think I'm probably over 3,000 posts this month.

[Miss Vicky]

Maybe he shot Urkel.

We can only hope.

[Sexy Celebrity]

'Cause he was a cop in Family Matters, too.

[Miss Vicky]

I think you're well over 3,000.

I'm somewhere in the plus 1,000 for the month.

[Miss Vicky]

The FBI's got the universal terrorist playbook and they're running it step by step.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Agent Johnson has bad skin.

[Miss Vicky]

What are we gonna do now, arrest them for not paying their electric bill?

[Miss Vicky]

Agent Johnson has bad skin.

I can't look at him without picturing Showgirls.

[Sexy Celebrity]

He's all shirtless now (Willis).

[Miss Vicky]

Enough with the bloody feet already!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sexy Celebrity]

I don't remember who he was in Showgirls.

[Miss Vicky]

He's all shirtless now (Willis).

And still, nothing.

[Miss Vicky]

I don't remember who he was in Showgirls.

he ran The Cheetah club.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Feel anything for Family Matters cop?

[Miss Vicky]

tell her that she's the best thing that ever happened to a bum like me.

[Miss Vicky]

Feel anything for Family Matters cop?

No.

[Miss Vicky]

Jesus. Mary. Mother of God.

Big Ass Bomb.

[Miss Vicky]

Mrs. McClane. How nice to make your acquiantence.

[Miss Vicky]

Fug blond dude's getting his ass beat.

[Miss Vicky]

I feel like we need a gong right now.

[Miss Vicky]

Uh oh. Willis got shot.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Why? To wake me up?

[Miss Vicky]

But he keeps right on fighting anyway. Macho mother****er.