Swan's Movie Commentaries

[Swan]

The black pearl... so badass.

[Swan]

Why? It's the worst one in the series dude! :eek:;)

It's convoluted but there's still a lot to appreciate about it.

[MovieMeditation]

It's convoluted but there's still a lot to appreciate about it.
I guess. It just gets weird as f*ck! :D

But yes, I can still enjoy it, definitely.

[Swan]

I always found it weird that this movie became so popular, considering it's a period piece.

[MovieMeditation]

True.

polite name romance going on...

[Swan]

:laugh:

[MovieMeditation]

Here we have the man of the hour (and one and a half more) :D

[Swan]

Jeez. Stupid romance plot. Get it out of a pirate movie.

Time for some Jack!

[MovieMeditation]

Jeez. Stupid romance plot. Get it out of a pirate movie.

Time for some Jack!
You can never go wrong with some Jack!

Even better if you add some Daniels to it...

[MovieMeditation]

Love this introduction by the way! So good!

[MovieMeditation]

Welcome to Port *whatever he said*, Mr. Smith

[Swan]

Welcome to Port *whatever he said*, Mr. Smith

He said

Wellingchivalrytonsmithtown

[MovieMeditation]

He said

Wellingchivalrytonsmithtown
Oh yes, that's it!

[MovieMeditation]

obligatory stupid duo comedic relief. But I still like them! :D

[Swan]

Pirates are so cool. I wonder what they were really like.

[MovieMeditation]

Pirates are so cool. I wonder what they were really like.
scumbags and rapists. :p

[The Sci-Fi Slob]

Pirates are so cool. I wonder what they were really like.Go to Israel and find out.

[MovieMeditation]

Jack comes to save the day!

[Swan]

Sorry, was reading a Cracked article about pirates.

[Cole416]

when you miss a good commentary <<<

[MovieMeditation]

Sorry, was reading a Cracked article about pirates.
You love to jump in and out sometimes huh Swan? :p Last time it was facebook debates! :D

Now comes the time where they almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow! Jaay!

[Swan]

Sticks and stones, love.

[Swan]

When I was a kid I was so freaking confused by how he did the chains thing over the rope. I thought he was defying physics.

[MovieMeditation]

WHAAUU!

Love that haha

[MovieMeditation]

When I was a kid I was so freaking confused by how he did the chains thing over the rope. I thought he was defying physics.
No way, same here lol!

[MovieMeditation]

You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

[MovieMeditation]

This sword fight though!!!!

Going quite a bit for the full enjoyment... :D

[Swan]

I just realized Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swan have bird names.

[Swan]

You cheated.

Pirate.

[MovieMeditation]

I just realized Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swan have bird names.
Weird that I have never thought of that either.

Damn dangerous bed warmer back then by the way!

[MovieMeditation]

Here it comes, the one ship. with sails blacker than... aah whatever..

It's awesome though!! Aaaand CANON FIRE!!!

[Swan]

Black Pearl is seriously a badass ship.

[MovieMeditation]

Aaand here's the dynamic duo of comedic relief on the evil side of this film. :D

And it's always a fat and a thin one... just look at every Disney movie ever. Hell, even this is Disney... it makes sense.

[Swan]

I invoke the right of parlay.

[Swan]

Kind of weird/contradictory that pirates have a freaking code, isn't it?

[Swan]

Mickey Mouse smoke cloud.

[MovieMeditation]

Love to see action done right. Practical effects, editing at the right time, such a great feeling. Not that overbloated CGI of today.

After readin that article Sedai posted about modern use of CGI, I truly notice the difference between presenting action scenes in the right way - even for practical ones it works. Show little but just enough, and don't dwell too long on what the audience will easily take as being fake or "off".

[MovieMeditation]

Mickey Mouse smoke cloud.
Damn, didn't notice! :(

[Swan]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsAP43kTE9E

[MovieMeditation]

geoffrey rush is perfect in this role!

[MovieMeditation]

Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Mrs. Turner!

[Swan]

Aren't they in moonlight right now? Why are they not skeletons?

[MovieMeditation]

Aren't they in moonlight right now? Why are they not skeletons?
No, I don't think they were in direct moonlight. It looked more like explosions and such lighting it up, but I didn't really pay attention to be honest. Stupid if they really were in moonlight and didn't change.

[MovieMeditation]

Another thing I didn't really understand the physics of, as a kid. On the other hand, this exactly isn't possible so I guess I was right then. :D

[Swan]

Another thing that I didn't get as a kid, how they could be under water but have air.

[MovieMeditation]

Oh my God, there is so many shots and scenes and stuff that reminds me why this is a fun adventure movie done right!

[Swan]

Off topic, but I just ate an epic sandwich. :D

[MovieMeditation]

Off topic, but I just ate an epic sandwich. :D
describe it to me, I need to measure the epicness figuratively in my own stomach. :p:D

[MovieMeditation]

By the way, how do you feel about the fifth movie coming up? excited or not excited?

[Swan]

It's called a santa cruz. Pretty typical turkey sammich, turkey, lettuce, tomato, avacado, bacon, mayo, on french roll... but I love the classics. :D

[Swan]

By the way, how do you feel about the fifth movie coming up? excited or not excited?

Aside from the taut first film, the series is kind of a mess, so I'm not really bothered. I never saw the fourth but it looks terrible. I have fun with two and three though.

[MovieMeditation]

Sounds great!

In a topic-related discussion, I always got hungry seeing this table of food in the film.

[MovieMeditation]

Aside from the taut first film, the series is kind of a mess, so I'm not really bothered. I never saw the fourth but it looks terrible. I have fun with two and three though.
I liked four more than three, but I have always been a great fan of Dead Man's Chest. I think it's underrated and Black Pearl a little overrated. I mean I LOVE Black Pearl, but it's weird how it gets so much praise especially compared to some other of its subgenre.

Anyways f*ck it. And I'm not really that excited either, but let's see how it looks when the trailer drops or something...

[Swan]

Yeah, I think two and three are a bit underrated personally. Technically, the third is pretty amazing. I like it's epicness.

[MovieMeditation]

Yeah, I think two and three are a bit underrated personally. Technically, the third is pretty amazing. I like it's epicness.
we'll just commentate them all and see how they hold up beside each other. :D

[Swan]

Hey, it's Neteriyieaiyeeeeeeee from Avatar!

[Swan]

Dead men tell no taaaaaales

[MovieMeditation]

That story is so far out and weird lol.

But I like it. "Aye, sea turtles".

[Swan]

An hour and ten minuit left...

[Swan]

Jack and Will riding the ride at Disneyland...

[MovieMeditation]

Jack and Will riding the ride at Disneyland...
:laugh:

[MovieMeditation]

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

no? that's not it? Oh sorry then...

[MovieMeditation]

An hour and ten minuit left...
Never say how much time there's left in a movie! It's bad luck! You have brought a curse upon use, Swan. :D

[Swan]

If you pause here at just the right second, he looks identical to Keith Richard. When he looks down.

[Swan]

Cooties!

[MovieMeditation]

If you pause here at just the right second, he looks identical to Keith Richard. When he looks down.
Best thing about the third is Keith Richards. He's awesome in it!

Haha, but really though, I totally get why Depp wanted him to play his father in the film.

[MovieMeditation]

Are you bored or what, Swan? You are getting quiet. :p

more facebook debates and pirate articles? :D

[Swan]

Sci Fi HoF thread. :D

I get bored when no one is talking! :p

[MovieMeditation]

Say you! I can't be talking all the time!

But fine! Love this scene. Loading the canons with whatever crap they have around! :cool: f*ck yeah

[Swan]

It's all action right now, too. So I don't have much to say. I'm not big on action unless it's interesting.

[MovieMeditation]

Everybody's fighting for their lives.

Barbossa just screams. But in a badass way though...

[Swan]

Everybody's fighting for their lives.

Barbossa just screams. But in a badass way though...

Psh, he screams like a girl.

[MovieMeditation]

It's all action right now, too. So I don't have much to say. I'm not big on action unless it's interesting.
Yeah, there is definitely a few interesting parts here imo, but also just a lot of cuts to chaotic textbook action. But it's all good though, I'm still having fun! :D

[MovieMeditation]

Psh, he screams like a girl.
but like a pirate though. pirates are badass. even if it's a feminine pirate, he'll still cut your head off if you annoy him. :D

[Swan]

The action, ironically, is making me sleepy.

[MovieMeditation]

The action, ironically, is making me sleepy.
The last action set piece is a lot more fun imo, hope that'll wake you up when we get there (if you are still awake by then) :p

[Swan]

It goes with your black heart.

BURN

[MovieMeditation]

In relation to you mentioning the acting feeling tiring... I've never been particularly fond of this island scene.

[Swan]

Bad at acting drunk there, Elizabeth. Doesn't seem to matter though. :D

[Swan]

There'll be no living with her after this. :p

[MovieMeditation]

I'm just waiting for something to happen now. This is all build-up... aaaarrgh. :D

[Nostromo87]

ah, the flick that got me into movies back in 2003. good form

Who's your Captain?

https://38.media.tumblr.com/8462ea8bcd3baf8da3478eb02da54148/tumblr_inline_mp0c4tjgub1qz4rgp.gif

or

http://i0.wp.com/4.bp.blogspot.com/-6TkuOvzKmbg/VGriNhPDalI/AAAAAAAAQ2E/WKexDgrzCJo/s1600/tumblr_m6q0jp1gt71ro4hyr.gif

or

http://oi59.tinypic.com/dcpks4.jpg

or

http://oi57.tinypic.com/2dtl39.jpg

or

http://reactorcon.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/sid-haig-captain-spaulding.jpg?hc_location=ufi

or

http://oi58.tinypic.com/jhaby9.jpg

[Swan]

Aztec goold.

[MovieMeditation]

Take a walk.

...in the moonlight looking cinematically awesome for that "wow-moment" to the trailer

[MovieMeditation]

This scene is actually pretty dumb. What what two fine women be doing there? lol

[Swan]

20 minutes. :p

[MovieMeditation]

20 minutes. :p
You just want to forcefully feel bored, huh? :D

[Swan]

You just want to forcefully feel bored, huh? :D

I'm not bored!

I just like to keep track of the time.

[Swan]

To be fair, though, I'm not a big popcorn movie guy.

[MovieMeditation]

Here we go Swan! Live up god dammit! YAAAY!! HAPPY! SWORD FIGHTING SKELTONS AND AWESOME MUSIC FROM GLADIATOR!

[Swan]

Here we go Swan! Live up god dammit! YAAAY!! HAPPY! SWORD FIGHTING SKELTONS AND AWESOME MUSIC FROM GLADIATOR!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[MovieMeditation]

To be fair, though, I'm not a big popcorn movie guy.
What is some popcorn movies you absolutely love though? There must be at least one? ;)

[Swan]

What is some popcorn movies you absolutely love though? There must be at least one? ;)

I like the Back to the Future trilogy!

[Cole416]

20 minutes. :p

http://media.giphy.com/media/12sFH5JAdIJu5q/giphy.gif

[MovieMeditation]

I like the Back to the Future trilogy!
Well that's good enough then! :up:

Here's skelton Jack!

(I love the in and out of moonlight fighting btw, it's pretty awesome)

[MovieMeditation]

http://media.giphy.com/media/12sFH5JAdIJu5q/giphy.gif
perfect response

[Swan]

I don't hate popcorn films. If people want to like them, more power to them. They just usually don't do much for me.

[MovieMeditation]

Guess we'll be the ones who commentate Dead Man's Chest, huh Cole? Swan can go sail his own lake...

:p

[Swan]

I like the POTC films, MM! At least the first three.

[MovieMeditation]

I don't hate popcorn films. If people want to like them, more power to them. They just usually don't do much for me.
Actually, I usually reside with this statement.

I'm not a popcorn type of guy, really. But there's a few that do it for me. Many of those superhero movies doesn't really for example...

I think most of the POTC movies are well done and filled with practical stuff, which I like, but even Fury Road was filled with much of that and I still didn't absolutely adore it. But yeah, there's a few I really like, but I'm definitely not a fan of popcorn flicks. Especially not the modern ones...

[Swan]

Actually, I usually reside with this statement.

I'm not a popcorn type of guy, really. But there's a few that do it for me. Many of those superhero movies doesn't really for example...

I think most of the POTC movies are well done and filled with practical stuff, which I like, but even Fury Road was filled with much of that and I still didn't absolutely adore it. But yeah, there's a few I really like, but I'm definitely not a fan of popcorn flicks. Especially not the modern ones...

Cheers, I'm pretty much the same way.

[Cole416]

Guess we'll be the ones who commentate Dead Man's Chest, huh Cole? Swan can go sail his own lake...

:p
Oh god, 2nd and 3rd ones...

http://www.gifbin.com/bin/102011/1319738930_homer_simpson_hides_in_hedge.gif

[Swan]

He feels cold.

[MovieMeditation]

F*ck off Cole, if you don't like just one of the sequels I'm cancelling our Unforgiven commentary. Bastard. :p

[MovieMeditation]

Cheers, I'm pretty much the same way.
You love your fair share of "cheers" lately, huh? :D

[Swan]

I also love "cheerio" :D

[Cole416]

I was only kidding!

http://i.imgur.com/uBP8P6R.gif

[MovieMeditation]

Sorry I went off, it was that Cole-guy again! :D;)

Jack is (almost) getting hanged! Shiiit. Love this sword balancing stuff haha

[Swan]

I love when the extras that are fighting them are so inept and clumsy at what they're doing, just so the leads can seem badass. :laugh:

[MovieMeditation]

Lower your weapons. Put them down!

*takes the weapons upwards*

ARE THEY STUPID OR WHAT!?

:D

[Swan]

EWWW KISSY FACE :sick: :D

[MovieMeditation]

uuuuuh, The Captain turns captain!

[MovieMeditation]

F*ck it, I love that little ending.

[Swan]

Good ending.

[Miss Vicky]

You bastards did a POTC commentary and I've missed it?! :mad:

[Swan]

3+ I respect it as taut and well-made, and appreciate the connection others feel to it, but for some reason I have always had a hard time personally connecting with it myself. I still like it though.

Thanks for doing the commentary dude!

[MovieMeditation]

Thanks for the (long) movie commentary, Swan!

I don't know how I'll rate it. I've seen it so many times, so even if I kind of went in and out of the film during this watch I feel like around a 4, maybe with a minus, feels right.

[MovieMeditation]

You bastards did a POTC commentary and I've missed it?! :mad:
http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-01/enhanced/webdr03/4/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-19453-1388854047-4.gif

[Swan]

DEATH RACE 2000

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn187/bdfolsom/871f99d7-3daa-49e9-bae7-23a8ab993ee4_zpsh55lz9hp.jpg

With honeykid!

[honeykid]

Ready when you are.

[Swan]

Play at :03

[honeykid]

OK.

[honeykid]

Play

[Swan]

Playing.

[honeykid]

Revving engines and drawings.

[Swan]

I totally did not see the cameraman just then... :D

[honeykid]

So patriotic.

[honeykid]

Frankenstein fans

[Swan]

I love how the matte painting is the only thing that makes this seem futuristic. The rest of the landscapes are totally normal.

[honeykid]

Caaaaaaan youoooooooou ddddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggg iiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttt! :D

[honeykid]

Love Junior Bruce

[Swan]

And all of the sudden, there is stuff behind him!

[honeykid]

Mary was so sexy back then

[honeykid]

Limb transplants. :D

I love how he just comes round on the gurney and starts

[Swan]

Apparently, in the future, there is only one TV station. Called TV.

[honeykid]

Her loveable Nazi navigator, Herman "The German" Boch

[Swan]

... was only HALF RIGHT!

[honeykid]

Apparently, in the future, there is only one TV station. Called TV.

It's a fascist state. That's why it's America. :D

[honeykid]

Means Nero's not FIDDLING around. :D

[honeykid]

We will roll.... When everything.... Seems perfect.... To me.

[honeykid]

So many quotes, I can't keep up.

[Swan]

He doesn't need a nurse, he needs a navigator. He needed one for all those transplants, though.

[honeykid]

Loves by thousands, hated by millions.

[honeykid]

Murdering the crowd. :laugh:

[Swan]

You want Frankenstein? I'll give you Frankenstein!

[honeykid]

With half a brain and half a chest and all the guts in the world!

[honeykid]

You will regret that, Joe.

[Swan]

I bet there is a guy just for cleaning spit off the cars.

[honeykid]

Mr. President has the best music.

[honeykid]

Once more, I give you what you want.

[honeykid]

The costumes are great in this film.

[Swan]

This movie seems to have a fairly large budget for a Corman film.

[honeykid]

I'm just wondering if this was the first film I saw starring Sly Stallone.

[honeykid]

Thomasina Paine!

[honeykid]

This movie seems to have a fairly large budget for a Corman film.

Just looked it up and, according to wiki, it was $300,000.

[honeykid]

And the big reveal is.... He's fine. :D

Cue sappy music

[Swan]

OH MY GOD IT'S DAVID CARRADINE!!!!!! TERRIFYING.

[honeykid]

First kill coming up. Love this bit.

[honeykid]

Shame he was only 38. Just two years more and he'd be worth three times the points

[honeykid]

Rule changes!

[Swan]

I love how women and children can be killed. :laugh:

[honeykid]

As always, how fast you move determines how long you live

[Swan]

Love the toro part!

[honeykid]

Bull fighters taking on Jane.

[honeykid]

You can be sure she'll be getting both ears for that one.

I love this script.

Here comes euthanasia day at the hospital. :rotfl:

[Swan]

It's just all so dark. :laugh:

[honeykid]

Dear friends of mine.

Which only goes to show that even Frankenstein has a 100% American sense of humour. ha-ha-ha

[honeykid]

It's such a shame that Nero goes so quickly. Not enough of his navigator. :(

[honeykid]

If they scatter, go for the baby and the mother.

GO FOR THE BABY! GO FOR THE BABY!

Goodbye baby. Hello 70 points.

BOOM

[honeykid]

She gets an apartment and a 50", 3D octophonic set for having her husband killed

[Swan]

This is pretty stellar blu-ray.

[honeykid]

The trans-continental road rape!

[honeykid]

Is winning all you care about?

Yes. It's the only standard of excellence left.

[honeykid]

BLITZKREIG!

[honeykid]

This aggravates me.

[Swan]

I love the kills in this movie.

[honeykid]

Cars being polished and in their bays and then a pile of burnt scrape in Nero's bay. :D

[Swan]

Oh finally, the scene with boobs!

[honeykid]

Nice boobs too. :yup:

[honeykid]

Girls, girls, girls! Remember you're on tv land.

[Swan]

Frankenstein, a dear friend of mine.

[honeykid]

He said there was nothing sweet in my ear...

In my ear.... SLAP.

[honeykid]

The club subscribes to an astrology service. :D

[honeykid]

Is that minimalist or just empty? :D

[honeykid]

It's the 70's futuristic sappy romantic music again

[honeykid]

Those Swiss mechanics sure did a good job. What else did they replace?

Wait a minute, and I'll show you.

[Swan]

I bet Corman wrote in the notes "have towel drop to reveal boobies".

[honeykid]

And back to the race. About to kill an official. :D

[honeykid]

Chrysler. :D

[honeykid]

It don't matter, it don't count. You can't score religious personalities.

[honeykid]

And now, legs.

[honeykid]

Oh. Why did she do that?

Show me she loves me.

Chicken. :D

[Swan]

Old dude with his cap on sideways.

[honeykid]

I DID IT AND I'M NO SCHMUCK!

[honeykid]

I'll pause for 20 seconds.

[Swan]

Pseudo-Frankenstein.

[honeykid]

About halfway through now. :eek:

[honeykid]

Sorry brother.

[Swan]

I really like the love interest.

[honeykid]

She's very sexy. Frankly, they all are apart from Joe's. Not that she's unattractive. ;)

I named my dog after you Mr. Frankenstein.

Lousy stinkin' dirtball! You got two seconds to live.

[Swan]

Nobody scores my navigator and gets away with it!

[honeykid]

Matilda scored Mary's navigator.

[honeykid]

Well what does she expect? You leave your navigator lying around naturally someone's gonna run over them.

[honeykid]

We're about to lose another.

[Swan]

Sorry if I'm being quiet. Kinda tired.

[honeykid]

Ah, the exploding cars of the 70's. :D

[honeykid]

Sorry if I'm being quiet. Kinda tired.

You should've said. We could do this another time. Want to quit here?

[Swan]

Sure. Let's finish it up when you're available next. Thanks dude.

[honeykid]

I missed him.

It takes some practice.

Before it comes easy?

It never comes easy.

[honeykid]

Don't worry about it. :)

[Swan]

RATATOUILLE

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn187/bdfolsom/5b3f6cce-33d6-4e0e-9dcf-310e2ff7e357_zpsvtjmco8l.jpg

With Miss Vicky and Gatsby!

[Miss Vicky]

Ready whenever you guys are. Sitting at the main menu now.

[Gatsby]

Wait for me, I'm dealing with a mosquito repellent commercial.

Which reminds me, I need to buy one.

[Swan]

Man, I haven't watched a Pixar in so long. I remember being obsessed with them junior year of high school. I wanted to work for them.

[Miss Vicky]

I was obsessed with them until I saw Brave.

[Gatsby]

Okay I have recovered for the flashy ad and now I'm ready.

Swan where are ya bro

[Swan]

Play at :15

[Swan]

Playing.

[Gatsby]

I was obsessed with them until I saw Brave.
Brave could have been a masterpiece but they totally screwed up.

Have you seen Cars 2 MV? Worst film of the year it was released for me. :sick:

[Miss Vicky]

Play pressed

[Miss Vicky]

Yeah, I've seen Cars 2. Not great but at least it has the excuse of being a sequel. Also it has Bruce Campbell.

[Swan]

I hear good things about their next few movies.

[Swan]

I was obsessed until Up. :D ;)

[Gatsby]

Anton Ego has a huge ego.

[Miss Vicky]

This is me.

[Gatsby]

I hear good things about their next few movies.
Inside Out got good reviews at Cannes. :up:

[Miss Vicky]

Emille! my favorite.

[Miss Vicky]

Remy is not a very rat like rat.

[Swan]

I like Remy.

[Miss Vicky]

Remy is adorable, but he's too picky. Emile is more like the real thing.

[Gatsby]

Emile is the typical Ameican. Remy is the best.

[Swan]

I love cheese. Not kidding. I f*cking LOVE cheese.

Probably why I'm so cheesy.

[Miss Vicky]

Do you ever think about what we put into our mouths?

ALL THE TIME!

[Miss Vicky]

I love cheese. Not kidding. I f*cking LOVE cheese.

Probably why I'm so cheesy.

I f*cking love cheese, too.

[Gatsby]

I love cheese. Not kidding. I f*cking LOVE cheese.

Probably why I'm so cheesy.
But do you like smoked cheese? ;)

[Swan]

BRB guys, this movie is making me crave cheese.

Don't pause.

[Miss Vicky]

What would you call that flavor?

Lightning-y?

[Gatsby]

Lightningy...

*linguist sense tingling*

[Miss Vicky]

BRB guys, this movie is making me crave cheese.

Don't pause.

This movie makes me hungry, too.

Although actual ratatouille is kind of gross.

[Miss Vicky]

Aww.. Remy's smile makes me smile.

[Gatsby]

Although actual ratatouille is kind of gross.
It's excellent with a few thin slices of meat.

[Miss Vicky]

Crazy old lady with a shotgun blowing apart her own house over a rat.

[Swan]

MMMMM

[Gatsby]

My God a gas mask. She probably was part of WW2.

[Miss Vicky]

Crazy lady is wearing a gas mask because.... ?

[Swan]

Crazy lady is wearing a gas mask because.... ?

Because she's crazy, obviously.

[Gatsby]

I love that Brad Bird movies have a significant amount of destruction.

[Miss Vicky]

Forlorn Remy is extra adorable. But I'm not rat obsessed or anything.

[Gatsby]

Remy is hallucinating because of hunger. :p

[Miss Vicky]

Remy has an imaginary friend. I never had one of those. i don't think anybody I knew did, either.