Swan's Movie Commentaries

[honeykid]

Was it the boogieman?

as a matter of fact, it was.

[Swan]

It always sounded like she says "What's the boogeyman?" to me.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Like, I really don't think you're crazy for bringing the butter knife to school. If anything, you can use that aggressiveness you have to channel into a horror film. For your ideas. For your passion.

[Swan]

I know she's saying "What is the boogeyman?" though.

[honeykid]

If you want to change cinema, then yeah, you have to do something new and unique.

If you want to change cinema, you won't. I don't think anyone who's every tried to has succeeded, regardless of who they were.

[Swan]

I f*cking love this part... just showing the places where Michael has been, with his breathing over it. Evil looms.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Movie's over.

[Swan]

If you want to change cinema, you won't. I don't think anyone who's every tried to has succeeded, regardless of who they were.

Yeah, you just have to go make the movie you want to make, I think. You can't think about that stuff.

[honeykid]

And that, my friends, is that.

5

[Sexy Celebrity]

I give it 4 today.

[Swan]

5 One of my favorites.

Thanks for doing the commentary guys.

[honeykid]

Anyone fancy doing The Fog?

[Sexy Celebrity]

That was fun. Swan, you want to watch something else with us, or are you done?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Anyone fancy doing The Fog?

Yes. I think I have it and I have never seen it.

[honeykid]

1980 version?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yes. The John Carpenter version. I do have it.

[Swan]

Can you guys give me time to download it? If so, I will join.

[Swan]

Wait nevermind. I have that one on DVD. I'll join.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I can. I dunno about HK.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Oh, good. Get a poster.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'll get a poster.

[honeykid]

OK, I'll get my copy. Give me 5

[Sexy Celebrity]

http://www.movieforums.com/community/attachment.php?attachmentid=16409&stc=1&d=1405807296

THE FOG

With Honeykid
Sexy Celebrity
& Swan

[Swan]

I'm ready.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm ready.

[honeykid]

Ready

[Sexy Celebrity]

Press Play.

[honeykid]

Play

[Swan]

MGM logo.

[honeykid]

Is all that we see or seem all but a dream within a dream.

[Sexy Celebrity]

So, yes, as I said, I have never seen this. Own it, but never watched it.

Never saw the remake, either.

[Sexy Celebrity]

So it better be good.

[Swan]

I've seen this exactly once, I believe.

[honeykid]

Time for one more story. One more story before 12.

[honeykid]

I love this film. It just creates a great atmosphere. Wonder how it'll work with a commentary.

[Swan]

Fast zoom.

[Sexy Celebrity]

You're just lucky we both have the movie.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This scene is boring, though.

[honeykid]

Dead seaman looking for a camp fire.:D

[Sexy Celebrity]

John Carpenter can't get things going.

[honeykid]

SC's gonna bitch through the whole thing, I just know it. :D

[Swan]

Nice shot of the ocean.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Do you think John Carpenter and Debra Hill ever got it on?

[honeykid]

John Carpenter.

[Sexy Celebrity]

We are in church.

[Swan]

This guy looks like John Carpenter when he's in the shadows.

[honeykid]

Hal Holbrook!

[Sexy Celebrity]

That's Hal Holbrook.

[Swan]

Oh it IS John Carpenter!

[Sexy Celebrity]

Hal Holbrook's hitting on him.

"Do you want something warm?"

[honeykid]

lol I'm already ahead., :D I'll pause.

[honeykid]

And the journal is uncovered.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I wish I could find someone's old journal just hiding someplace.

[honeykid]

Midnight till one belongs to the dead.

[honeykid]

That's the voice of Mrs. John Carpenter. For real this time.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Charles Cyphers. I know that name.

Nancy Loomis. Isn't that Annie from Halloween?

[honeykid]

Charles Cyphers. I know that name.

Nancy Loomis. Isn't that Annie from Halloween?

Yes. Lots of Carpenter connections in this film.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Dean Cundey was also the director of photography for Halloween.

[honeykid]

Supernatural goings on.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Let's hurry up. Come on, fog.

[Swan]

Those lights made weird sounds.

[honeykid]

Yeah, this was a mistake. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

Leaking gas pump.

[Swan]

Honeykid, do you like any Jesus Franco films?

[Sexy Celebrity]

That said "Total Sale - Bennett."

Bennett was also the name of the guy Hal Holbrook was hitting on.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Are all those cars possessed?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Chair that moves by itself.

[honeykid]

Honeykid, do you like any Jesus Franco films?
Some. I have a boxset that I've not finished yet.

[Swan]

Chair that moves by itself.

Always terrifying when that happens.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Is that Charles Cyphers driving?

[honeykid]

Are all those cars possessed?
It's The Fog. Or, maybe, what's in the fog. It's a portent of things to come.

[Sexy Celebrity]

He's picking up a hermaphrodite hitchhiker.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This is already creepy.

[honeykid]

Weird and unlucky.

We'll see.

CRASH

[Swan]

Sexy do you really think she's a hermaphrodite? I don't.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Sexy do you really think she's a hermaphrodite? I don't.

I think it's at least fun to accuse her of being one.

[honeykid]

There she is. Mrs. Carpenter.

[Sexy Celebrity]

BUT, I wouldn't be surprised if she's really got some kind of anatomy secret.

She doesn't have any kids. Adopted kids, I believe, but not any real kids.

[Sexy Celebrity]

THAT is Charles Cyphers.

Annie's dad from Halloween.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Who's the guy with Jamie Lee in the car? I've seen him in other horror movies.

[Swan]

It's possible she just isn't able to have children though.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Ahoy, Mateys.

[honeykid]

Boy would I like to meet her.

I saw her at a grocery store one day. You would like to meet her.

[Swan]

Oh sh*t it's the fog!

[Sexy Celebrity]

I heard Jamie Lee Curtis appears on an educational video made for hermaphrodites.

I dunno. I never saw her on any of the videos I watched. But maybe I missed one.

[honeykid]

The fog's come out of nowhere.

[honeykid]

I heard Jamie Lee Curtis appears on an educational video made for hermaphrodites.

I dunno. I never saw her on any of the videos I watched. But maybe I missed one.
I'm guessing not.

[honeykid]

Ghostship!!!!

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm not scared. Are you?

[Swan]

Damn that's pretty creepy actually.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Damn that's pretty creepy actually.

It's a prop boat.

Probably something they used in Amistad.

[Swan]

I've got to get this on blu-ray.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now there's something killing people.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I've got to get this on blu-ray.

Why? It probably won't look all that clear with all that fog.

[Swan]

No but the fog will look pretty cool. :p

[Sexy Celebrity]

Is this a wife John Carpenter divorced?

[Sexy Celebrity]

That's a nice shot of the water.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm sick of seeing all of these cigarettes.

[Swan]

Is this a wife John Carpenter divorced?

Just checked his Wiki and yep, looks like they didn't last long - 79 to 84.

[Sexy Celebrity]

John Carpenter must have a thing for ugly women because all these women are always ugly.

[honeykid]

Is this a wife John Carpenter divorced?

Yeah, they were together for a few years,

[honeykid]

John Carpenter must have a thing for ugly women because all these women are always ugly.
Or a thing for a cracking rack. :o

[Sexy Celebrity]

He looks kinda like Harrison Ford.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Is that a monster at their door?

[honeykid]

1 O'Clock. Literally saved by the clock.

[Swan]

John Carpenter must have a thing for ugly women because all these women are always ugly.

Adrienne Barbeau is HOT.

http://www.classictvbeauties.com/Adrienne_Barbeau_photo_4.jpg

[Sexy Celebrity]

How does 1 o'clock save you?

[honeykid]

Because the hour between midnight and one belongs to the dead. It tells you that in the journal he found.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Something's going on with the site. I can't quote.

[Swan]

This movie has a good score too.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now I think I can quote.

[Swan]

Something's going on with the site. I can't quote.

I can.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Swan, you deleted one of your posts. That's why I couldn't quote it.

[Sexy Celebrity]

What's a stomach pounder? A sandwich?

[Swan]

Oh yeah.

Wow she had sex with him. Definitely not the nice girl Laurie was.

There you go. :D

[Swan]

We are on page 69.

[honeykid]

What's a stomach pounder? A sandwich?

I don't know.

[honeykid]

Oh yeah.

Wow she had sex with him. Definitely not the nice girl Laurie was.

There you go. :D

Jesus Swan, how far behind are you?

[Sexy Celebrity]

So, I'm confused. Was last night the first time all that weird stuff happened there? It's not every night, is it?

[honeykid]

Look! It's the woman from the shower. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

Another woman in a jeep.

[Swan]

Jesus Swan, how far behind are you?

I was repeating the post I made a while ago.

[honeykid]

So, I'm confused. Was last night the first time all that weird stuff happened there? It's not every night, is it?
That's the first time in a long time. It's the centinery of the town, it's all tied in.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And will they be back tonight? I imagine so.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Janet Leigh driving.

[Swan]

Janet Leigh!

[honeykid]

I was repeating the post I made a while ago.
Oh, OK. I was gonna say. Wow, I know I get ahead of you guys but I could've sworn you were past that.

[Swan]

She was in Halloween H2O with her daughter, as well.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This is definitely not better than Halloween.

[Sexy Celebrity]

She's dead now. Janet Leigh.

[honeykid]

It's Lauries mum and her best friend. :D

[honeykid]

This town sits around for 100 years and then in one night the whole place falls apart.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yeah, that's crazy. Wasting a lot of money restoring a cemetery. Hope she dies early.

[honeykid]

This is definitely not better than Halloween.

No, but it's a different kind of horror. This is, essensially, a ghost story, hence starting with the camp fire scene.

Sandy, you're the only person I know who can make "Yes, ma'am sound like screw you"
Yes, Ma'am.

[Swan]

Not as good as Halloween but still good.

[Sexy Celebrity]

My uncle wants to spend about $15,000 or so to move my dead grandmother, who died a long time ago, to another state and rebury her so she can be next to her husband. He asked all the relatives to pitch in with the money. I'm like... she's been dead for decades. She's not gonna go down there and start chatting with her dead husband when she's beside him. Keep her where she is!

[honeykid]

Detectives Solley and Castle, joining the dots.

[Swan]

My uncle wants to spend about $15,000 or so to move my dead grandmother, who died a long time ago, to another state and rebury her so she can be next to her husband. He asked all the relatives to pitch in with the money. I'm like... she's been dead for decades. She's not gonna go down there and start chatting with her dead husband when she's beside him. Keep her where she is!

It's weird that we give so much respect for the dead when they're dead. But, that respect seems to be built into us.

[Swan]

He don't believe in anything, much.

[Sexy Celebrity]

So what's going on? I'm totally lost.

[honeykid]

I don't believe in anything much.

[Sexy Celebrity]

What the hell just grabbed her??? A dead guy?

[honeykid]

So what's going on? I'm totally lost.

The Father has read the journal and discovered that the town was built on the gold of a ship the founders of the town crashed onto the rocks so they could steal the gold.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I really hate Carpenter and his thing for priests.

[Swan]

What the hell just grabbed her??? A dead guy.

Sexy, you just answered your own question. Bravo.

[honeykid]

We were aided by an unearthly fog.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I changed that last sentence to end with a question.

It's the lady with the jeep again.

[honeykid]

The celebration tonight is a travesty. We're honouring murderers.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Look at that steep downhill.

[honeykid]

It's a great location for a horror film to be centred.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm bored with this.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I like They Live now. That's the best John Carpenter movie.

[Swan]

We still need to do a They Live commentary.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Prince of Darkness is really disturbing. One of a few horror films that still bothers me.

[honeykid]

Antonio Bay has a curse on it.

[Swan]

Looking at Janet Leigh makes me want to watch Psycho.

[honeykid]

We're all cursed, Mrs. Williams. All of us.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I don't like this movie because I feel like we've been listening to a f**king radio through the whole damn thing.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This has been 45 minutes of radio.

[honeykid]

Ghost in the machine.

[honeykid]

How can a man drown and not touch the water?

[Sexy Celebrity]

And nothing seems frightening. They seem like they're modeling. They're modeling for some kind of nautical ad.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And children in a horror film are a bad sign.

[honeykid]

No horror films are frightning. However, I do wonder about anyone who says they get scared by The Fog. It's all atmosphere, though. That's why I said it was a mistake early on.

[honeykid]

And children in a horror film are a bad sign.

Stay away from Village Of The Dammed or Children Of The Corn then.:D

[Sexy Celebrity]

I don't need atmosphere.

I don't need framing.

I NEED A F**KING GOOD MOVIE.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I am so sick of everyone being afraid of clouds.

[honeykid]

Those things go into making A GOOD ****ING MOVIE.

[Sexy Celebrity]

The scariest thing so far has been this corpse.

[Swan]

No horror films are frightning. However, I do wonder about anyone who says they get scared by The Fog. It's all atmosphere, though. That's why I said it was a mistake early on.

What do you mean it was a mistake early on?

[honeykid]

Was there a sale at the plaid store?:D

[Sexy Celebrity]

Those things go into making A GOOD ****ING MOVIE.

I just don't think that even if you have those things, you've got a good movie.

[honeykid]

What do you mean it was a mistake early on?

Before the end of the credits SC was moaning and I said this was a mistake. :D I knew he'd bitch. He's actually been a lot better than I feared.

[honeykid]

I just don't think that even if you have those things, you've got a good movie.

That's not what I said.

[Sexy Celebrity]

At least there's now a zombie.

[Swan]

Before the end of the credits SC was moaning and I said this was a mistake. :D I knew he'd bitch. He's actually been a lot better than I feared.

Really? He's been worse than I thought he was going to be. :laugh:

[Sexy Celebrity]

Why did the zombie fall?

[Sexy Celebrity]

No wonder I never watched this thing.

[honeykid]

Here comes the night.

[honeykid]

This is like Springfield in The Simpson's, built on a lie.:D

[Sexy Celebrity]

This town doesn't have any black or hispanic people.

[Sexy Celebrity]

It'll be centuries before they get Asians.

[Sexy Celebrity]

The fog is a great big white fog.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And there's still more stupid radio broadcasting.

[honeykid]

Glowing fog.

[Swan]

Tom Atkins will always be the guy from Halloween 3 for me.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Is that Tom Atkins??

[honeykid]

He's green. That's not going to go well.

[Swan]

Yep. :p

[honeykid]

Is that Tom Atkins??
He's with JLC.

[Swan]

I wonder why PJ Soles wasn't in this. Even if it was just for a quick shot of her boobies.

[honeykid]

This town doesn't have any black or hispanic people.

Did you see him, SC?

[Sexy Celebrity]

This movie is extremely talky.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Did you see him, SC?

No. Maybe the fog covered him up.

[honeykid]

Dan, where's the fog now?

Well, it should be right outside my door now.

[honeykid]

Look outstide, Dan.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yes, of course you felt like talking, woman. That's ALL you people do in this movie. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now they're worried about a glowing fog.

[Swan]

Something weird about this fog.

[honeykid]

I'd be worried about glowing fog.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'd be worried about glowing fog.

Me too. Imagine realizing you're in a bad movie.

[Swan]

I wonder what the ghosts look like in the remake. Never seen it.

[Sexy Celebrity]

That was a weak death scene.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Roger Ebert gave this movie 2 out of 4 stars. That's not good with him.

[honeykid]

Me too. Imagine realizing you're in a bad movie.
Fog's always a good sign in a horror movie. I love seeing it. :D
I wonder what the ghosts look like in the remake. Never seen it.
Me neither. I have it, but I've not seen it.

[honeykid]

Fog up yer phonelines.:D

[Swan]

555 is a fake telephone number used for movies.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I just wanna smack Janet Leigh and shut her up. Get her off her soapbox.

[honeykid]

The fog's attacking!!!!!!

[honeykid]

555 is a fake telephone number used for movies.
No ****, Sherlock. :D

[Swan]

I'm kind of reminded of The Mist right now.

[Sexy Celebrity]

*sigh*

[honeykid]

One of the lions is probably down? :D

[honeykid]

I'm kind of reminded of The Mist right now.

I need to see that. I have it, but haven't watched it. I still don't know the end. No one say spoil it.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Does this kid's grandma die?

[Swan]

Hope you like it when you do see it, honeykid.

[honeykid]

BTW, I love this film, but the line MY SON IS TRAPPED BY THE FOG always makes me laugh.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I know that grandmother's gonna die.

[honeykid]

Yeah, open the door, Grandma. Let's see how that works for you.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Damn. I was hoping her death scene would be a lot funnier.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Oh, she's not his grandmother.

[honeykid]

The house is enveloped by fog.

[Swan]

Hey guys, I think her son is trapped.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This seems like an overlong Creepshow tale.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Hey guys, I think her son is trapped.

I think they're ALL trapped. In a horrible movie.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm trapped, too. In this commentary.

[honeykid]

This seems like an overlong Creepshow tale.
There's at least 3 people in this who are in Creepshow.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I can't believe you like this movie.

Yeah, Hal Holbrook is one person, I know.

[honeykid]

Sorry I'm not there for you, son, mummy has to work. :D

[Sexy Celebrity]

Honeykid, you think you're the authority on great films all the time, and you like THIS?!

[honeykid]

I can't believe you like this movie.

Yeah, Hal Holbrook is one person, I know.
I love it. Didn't on my first watch, but I really liked it.

[honeykid]

Honeykid, you think you're the authority on great films all the time, and you like THIS?!

Yeah, cos it's a great film. :p

[Sexy Celebrity]

I pray for you, HK.

[honeykid]

The church is your only salvation... But not for long.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm probably gonna get rid of this movie now.

[Sexy Celebrity]

How much more of this is there?

[Swan]

Less than 15 minutes.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Less than 15 minutes to get interesting? Okay.

[honeykid]

Ten minutes or so.

[honeykid]

There's no way they're getting up that spiral staircase.

[Sexy Celebrity]

The only thing I like about this movie is Tom Atkins. I find him sexy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And I just realized he's the dad in Creepshow.

[Swan]

I find Janet Leigh sexy in this.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This is like Prince of Darkness. Everyone's all huddling together somewhere.

[Sexy Celebrity]

So they're all a bunch of ghost pirates?

[Swan]

Argh matey, that be correct.

[Sexy Celebrity]

This movie was a total waste of beer.

[honeykid]

Bye bye fog.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I thought HK went bye bye.

[honeykid]

Look for the fog.