Swan's Movie Commentaries

[Swan]

Yeah, screaming is totally normal behavior.

[Sexy Celebrity]

There she went. Head twisted.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Why is a song about Jason (the Alice Cooper song) on the car radio????

[Sexy Celebrity]

And how come only that little girl sees Jason?

[Swan]

Because... because... don't ask questions!

[Sexy Celebrity]

All these shots of Megan's crotch.

[Sexy Celebrity]

"It's gonna be a hairy turn."

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now the little girl has Jason's machete.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Why did Jason drop his machete??

[Swan]

Why did Jason drop his machete??

So the little girl could pick it up and we could have that little moment where we think it's Jason but it's not.

[Swan]

Mustaches are great.

[Sexy Celebrity]

It makes him look clumsy.

[Sexy Celebrity]

He looks like an '80s porn star. The sheriff.

[Swan]

Oh my gosh... it wasn't Tommy!

[Sexy Celebrity]

Honeykid, if you're reading, did you like this red headed girl? I'm not sure what her name is. She's about to get killed.

The camp counselor who takes the blonde girl back to her cabin.

She looks like your kind of woman to me.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I almost got Honeykid to join us. He has this movie. But it's too late for him. It's really late at night where he is. In fact, it's practically morning.

[Sexy Celebrity]

What is this girl's name? Suzie?

[Sexy Celebrity]

She just got killed. Blood splatter across the window, then she went through it.

[Swan]

You need to get Jason X, Sexy. Then the three of us can do a commentary on it.

[Swan]

I wonder why they don't show what she's writing on the paper... or is that just my version?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Her name was Paula.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I wonder why they don't show what she's writing on the paper... or is that just my version?

You sort of saw something.

I think she's drawing her vagina. He's obsessed with it.

[Sexy Celebrity]

You need to get Jason X, Sexy. Then the three of us can do a commentary on it.

I hated that movie when I first saw it in 2001.

[Swan]

He looks like Rudolph.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I think it's better now, but it's been years since I saw it.

[Swan]

I hated that movie when I first saw it in 2001.

I think it's fun.

[Sexy Celebrity]

You're better off in that jail cell. If you're there, you won't get killed.

[Swan]

Was it just me or did you hear the quick piano note?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Jason should have killed all these kids. THAT would have made the movie more intense.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Was it just me or did you hear the quick piano note?

Piano note?

Nothing stood out to me.

[Swan]

Really weird.

[Sexy Celebrity]

And what's the point of just staring at that girl?

[Swan]

The bullets go right through him.

[Sexy Celebrity]

I have had it with this little girl.

[Sexy Celebrity]

You can't hurt something that's already dead.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Jason really made a bloody mess in that cabin. What the Hell was he doing?

[Sexy Celebrity]

I wish there was a Jason amusement park or something. It would be fun just to roam around and everywhere you turn, there's a dead body.

[Swan]

DEAD MEAT.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Open a car door, have a black girl's head fall out in front of you.

[Swan]

Open a car door, have a black girl's head fall out in front of you.

My typical Monday morning.

[Swan]

Maggot head. Got to remember that one.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Did the sheriff die? Megan's dad?

[Swan]

Did the sheriff die? Megan's dad?

Yep.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Megan to the rescue!

[Sexy Celebrity]

Megan's really dumb. Now she's in the water getting herself killed. Dumb blonde.

[Swan]

She's such a maggot head.

[Sexy Celebrity]

You know, he was sorta better off in that grave. You should have left him alone in there.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Now he's still alive under the water, waiting to get loose.

[Sexy Celebrity]

There was supposed to be a different ending to this movie, I believe.

[Sexy Celebrity]

You sure you don't wanna watch part V?

[Swan]

There was supposed to be a different ending to this movie, I believe.

Do you remember what it was?

[Swan]

You sure you don't wanna watch part V?

Yeah I'm tired. Sorry man. We'll definitely do it some other time.

[Sexy Celebrity]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUvTqSb2jw8

It involved the caretaker (he didn't die in this version) and Jason's father.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Well, thanks for that, Swan.

I give that movie 3.5.

[Swan]

That was cool. Would have been interesting to bring in the father.

[Swan]

I give it a rating_2_5. It's a decent slasher, but there are better ones in the series. Definitely fun though.

Thank for doing the commentary, Sexy!

[Sexy Celebrity]

I bet the father would have been played by Alice Cooper.

[Swan]

That would have been badass.

[Sexy Celebrity]

New Details on the new "Friday the 13th" TV show. Tommy Jarvis may return. (http://bloody-disgusting.com/interviews/3294226/tv-new-details-friday-13th-tv-series-exclusive/)

[honeykid]

Some other time, then.

5 is better than most horror films they make today. I can't stand most horror films they make now. They just don't make them right anymore.
That's because they go for PG-13 or found footage/paranormal activity. People became bored with what we'd probably call 'proper horror'. It'll come back, though.
Wow I always thought Joan Rivers had a lot of plastic surgery, but her daughter looks just like her. So I guess that's just her face.
She has.

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/1c/1cf9c76ca50b0393509fb33ca0aafaab875d4ae6df32836d42eef80fda68eda9.jpg
Replace the words "he" and "machine" with "her" and "plastic" and "man" with "woman" you get the idea.
Honeykid, if you're reading, did you like this red headed girl? I'm not sure what her name is. She's about to get killed.

The camp counselor who takes the blonde girl back to her cabin.

She looks like your kind of woman to me.
I quite liked her, yeah. :yup: That hair needs sorting out and she's playing down, obiviously, but yeah, I quite like her.
You need to get Jason X, Sexy. Then the three of us can do a commentary on it.
I'm definitely up for that. I've been putting Jason X forward since SC started doing these.

I think it's fun.
Well, at least you're right about something. :p:D
I bet the father would have been played by Alice Cooper.
He can't, he's already Freddy's father.

I'd have loved to've done with one with you, but I was just too tired and then SC said it'd be another hour or so. It's a shame. Still, I enjoyed reading your commentary. :) Thanks.

[Sexy Celebrity]

He can't, he's already Freddy's father.

Even better. Freddy and Jason could have been half brothers.

[Swan]

PULP FICTION
(Quentin Tarantino, 1994)

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f145/ifiswan/1994-pulp-fiction-poster2_zpsbff457e5.jpg

With seanc

[Swan]

Ready Sean?

[seanc]

Say when Swan. Got baby-blu fired up.

[Cobpyth]

I wonder if it's possible to make an uncool poster for Pulp Fiction. :p

[Swan]

Okay. Press play!

[seanc]

Here we go. How many times for you?

[Swan]

Okay so I've read most of Tarantino's scripts and this one is good, but it's just like the movie. Pulp Fiction is my favorite Tarantino film, but Inglourious Basterds is my favorite Tarantino script.

[Swan]

Here we go. How many times for you?

Oh man, I've lost count.

[seanc]

Makes sense

[seanc]

First time I saw this I didn't care for the structure

[seanc]

Got over it quick

[seanc]

Always have liked Tim Roth

[Swan]

The structure is one of the best things about it.

[seanc]

Like fifth time for me

[Swan]

This film will be high up on my top 100 list. I don't know where exactly.

[seanc]

The structure is one of the best things about it.
Can't imagine it any other way now, of course. Young and stupid

[Swan]

God, I love Tarantino. I've gone through so many Tarantino phases. He's just such a blast.

[Swan]

But it always takes watching one of his movies to remind me that I love him.

[seanc]

Yeah. I love all his movies. Have yet to see Death Proof. I'm afraid I'll hate it.

[Swan]

I don't think you'll hate it. It's not great but... there's nothing to hate about it, really.

[seanc]

Just saw Kill Bill for the first time about a year ago.

[Swan]

I saw Kill Bill once, a long time ago. I don't remember much about it.

[seanc]

I'm not agnre guy so he scares me away like that. I need to trust him by now though.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Yeah. I love all his movies. Have yet to see Death Proof. I'm afraid I'll hate it.

I considered it my favorite movie of 2007 back in the day.

[seanc]

Sorry. That was genre guy

[seanc]

Love when credits switch to Jungle Boogie

[Swan]

That's interesting, because Tarantino is all about genre!

[seanc]

Jules and Vince are so cool

[Swan]

Tarantino reminds me of Godard. Breakin' the rules like a badass.

[seanc]

The characters and writing though. Nobody compares.

[seanc]

Love the BK line. So funny, this is really a comedy

[Swan]

Yeah, Tarantino is a great writer of characters.

[seanc]

He cares about the minutia too. I think that draws me in.

[seanc]

Same ballpark. Love that

[Swan]

I remember Tarantino saying he was thinking of using the bartender as Jules. That would have been interesting.

[seanc]

Vince sets him up. fantastic

[seanc]

I remember Tarantino saying he was thinking of using the bartender as Jules. That would have been interesting.

Who is it? I forget

[seanc]

Love the framed shots

[Swan]

Let me look... the actor is Paul Calderon.

[Swan]

Hamburgers for breakfast.

[Swan]

I love how nice Jules is acting. :laugh:

[seanc]

I always think that. Who does that

[seanc]

It's great. Mr. Cool

[seanc]

Offers Vince a bite

[Swan]

This scene is making me hungry.

[seanc]

Go get you a Big Kahuna

[Swan]

In the right role, Samuel L. Jackson is awesome. In the wrong role (looking at you, Mace Windu), he's terrible.

[seanc]

Vince in the back. Always wonder if Jules ways annoyed him

[seanc]

In the right role, Samuel L. Jackson is awesome. In the wrong role (looking at you, Mace Windu), he's terrible.

Agreed. I wasn't smitten with him in Django, but know I am in the minority

[Swan]

Allow me to retort.

[Swan]

I just realized him saying Marcellus doesn't like to be f*cked is kind of foreshadowing of what comes later.

[Swan]

I never really liked the orange flashes. I don't get what they're supposed to do.

[seanc]

that's true, never thought of it

[seanc]

between this and the end for my favorite segment

[Swan]

This is a great monologue.

[seanc]

you think he knew from the start he wasn't taking a dive

[Swan]

This is the guy who was considered to be Jules. It would have been an interesting take.

[seanc]

do you care about the band aid and brief case. I never cared about any of that nonsense

[Swan]

Not really. The idea of it being his soul is kind of neat, but... Tarantino isn't really a fan of the idea, and I prefer it being ambiguous. I also like the bandaid just being an artistic touch.

[seanc]

I wonder right then if that's when Butch decided

[Swan]

This is like, the ultimate kids vision of an R-rated movie.

[seanc]

classy girl

[Swan]

I wonder right then if that's when Butch decided

Decided what? To win?

[seanc]

speed racer t-shirt. the little touches are amazing

[seanc]

Decided what? To win?

yeah. didn't like the idea of being pushed around by these goons

[Swan]

yeah. didn't like the idea of being pushed around by these goons

I always wondered what that little moment with his look back is meant to convey. You could be right.

[Swan]

I wondered what drugs Tarantino has done.

[seanc]

All of them

[seanc]

Ready for some Uma

[Swan]

I actually don't like if I like Mia. She works in the movie but, I wouldn't really want to be around her.

[Swan]

Although, now that I think of it, maybe we would get along great.

[seanc]

I love Mia and Vince together though. I think it's what makes me like Vince slightly more than Jules.

[Swan]

Already 30 minutes in. This movie flies by.

[Swan]

I love Mia and Vince together though. I think it's what makes me like Vince slightly more than Jules.

I like Jules more, but I agree that Mia and Vince are good together.

[seanc]

I would be too much of a..square..for her

[Swan]

I wish there was a real Jack Rabbit Slims. Can you imagine how many milkshakes they would sell?

[seanc]

Did Tarantino put the dancing in because of Travolta

[seanc]

I would be there

[Swan]

Did Tarantino put the dancing in because of Travolta

That's a good question.

[seanc]

My dad sings this song all the time

[seanc]

and not because of Pulp Fiction

[seanc]

Always forget about Buscemi till this moment

[Swan]

More drugs.

[seanc]

What a jip

[seanc]

Tarantino characters have no boundaries with food

[Swan]

I don't get why she says "don't you hate that" and then explains why being silent with people is great.

[seanc]

That's true

[seanc]

Powder my nose has new meaning

[Swan]

Vince has some cool hair.

[Swan]

They sure smoke a lot.

[seanc]

Even makes a hoop earring and whatever those texas neck ties are called look cool

[seanc]

rolled cigarettes to save $

[Swan]

I can just see Tarantino dancing behind the camera.

[seanc]

That made me laugh

[Swan]

My sister and my dad did this dance at her wedding.

[seanc]

Probably has less rhythm than me

[seanc]

My sister and my dad did this dance at her wedding.

fantastic, wish I could dance. Chicks dig it

[Swan]

Ooooh they like each otherrrrr.

[seanc]

I dread what's coming. So well done, but so intense

[seanc]

Ooooh they like each otherrrrr.

Can't you see vince flying from a window

[Swan]

Vince getting all philosophical in the bathroom.

[seanc]

Scared to death

[seanc]

I love how he assumes it's his decision. Like she's good to go

[seanc]

Of course with this amount of drugs she may be

[Swan]

Can you imagine how scary it would be jamming a thick needle into someone's heart?

[seanc]

NOOO. That is why I hate and love this scene at the same time.

[Swan]

Every time I see a needle I imagine stabbing someone in the eye with it.

[seanc]

look at the wife loving this

[seanc]

This scene couldn't end cooler. Great writing to come back to the joke.

[Swan]

He did laugh after all.

[Swan]

Christopher Walken is awesome.

[seanc]

Walken, perfect casting

[seanc]

So serious then ends it with a watch up the ass

[Swan]

I love when the hand comes up to snatch it.

[seanc]

Simple scene but great

[Swan]

The taxi driver is a babe.

[seanc]

yeah i always blank on who she is for second

[Swan]

I love how the background is black and white.

[seanc]

Looks really sweet

[seanc]

always the little touches

[Swan]

Fabienne kind of annoys me, to be honest.

[seanc]

Love the way she says Butch

[seanc]

I like her

[Swan]

She's alright. I want to like her. She's sweet. But... I don't know...

[seanc]

I can understand what your saying. Small doses probably helps

[seanc]

I wouldn't want to hear about pancakes for two hours

[seanc]

This was by far my least favorite segment the first time I watched because of what's coming.

[Swan]

I don't know what my least favorite segment is. Maybe this.

[seanc]

I hate the sadists but the last couple times I feel like it flies by.

[Swan]

Here comes the rage!

[seanc]

Probably my fave Willis character

[seanc]

You don't retrieve the watch in a blue button down

[seanc]

This is a great scene

[Swan]

Vince about to go bye bye.

[seanc]

I love how there are almost no words when it goes down

[Swan]

I love how his face stays the same after he shoots him, and doesn't come off as obviously surprised, and you can still tell he is.

[seanc]

He could use that in a minute

[seanc]

Good acting

[seanc]

This is so classic

[seanc]

Two coffees. Don't think I ever noticed that.

[Swan]

Whoa, that's Kathy Griffith! I just realized that! Now I get why Tarantino and her had fun in bed that one time! I always thought it was just because they were celebrities, but they actually worked together! Wow!

[seanc]

What's that comics name. I can't stand her

[seanc]

I didn't know they hooked up

[seanc]

She drives me insane

[Swan]

I never really followed her. But Tarantino and she did "the thing" or whatever it's called in bed, where you do everything but have sex.

[seanc]

I see. Not familiar but I am ok with that

[Sexy Celebrity]

I'm sneaking into this movie commentary theater. My movie, Highlander, totally sucks.

[seanc]

Probably where he got the idea for the next scene

[seanc]

Come on in SC

[Swan]

Haha. He talked about it on Howard Stern.

[seanc]

You want to watch I'll give you the time stamp

[Swan]

Howdy, Sexy. We're at your favorite scene.

[seanc]

Thought you were gonna watch The Master

[seanc]

Great how he is security and not a cop

[seanc]

Like I keep saying the little touches

[seanc]

Give us your thoughts on Pulp Fiction and Tarantino Sexy. I don't have much to say about the gimp.

[Swan]

I've noticed the good directors are always good at little touches.

[seanc]

For sure. It's what set them apart

[Sexy Celebrity]

The gimp was stupid.

[Swan]

He sure is taking his time finding the right weapon.

[seanc]

Ever notice how there are not many bad performances in well directed movies. Makes me wonder if we give actors too much credit.

[seanc]

The gimp was stupid.


Agreed

[Sexy Celebrity]

I honestly can't believe those guys had to do "Eeeny Meeny Miney Mo."

They had freaking Bruce Willis at their hands! HELLO! Of course you do him first!

[Swan]

Ever notice how there are not many bad performances in well directed movies. Makes me wonder if we give actors too much credit.

Hmmm, I never really thought about that.

[seanc]

Sexy , you always bring the comic relief

[Swan]

I honestly can't believe those guys had to do "Eeeny Meeny Miney Mo."

They had freaking Bruce Willis at their hands! HELLO! Of course you do him first!

I hate eeny meeny miney mo because it always ends on the exact same number. There is no chance involved. It's always going to end with the person you did NOT start with.

[seanc]

Think of a bad performance in a PTA, Tarantino, or Scorsese picture

[seanc]

I hate eeny meeny miney mo because it always ends on the exact same number. There is no chance involved. It's always going to end with the person you did NOT start with.

My five year old knows this

[seanc]

Of course he tries to cheat

[Swan]

Oh I got one! Shelley Duvall in The Shining.

[seanc]

Marcellus is a bad ass

[seanc]

Kubrick doesn't count with me. ;)

[seanc]

I have seen a lot of Duvall lately watching 70's Altman and I don't hate her like I used to.

[Sexy Celebrity]

What's happening now?

[seanc]

Is that the first time they mention LA

[Swan]

Bruce Willis is trying to get Fabienne to hop on the motorcycle so they can hit the road.

[seanc]

Zed's dead scene

[seanc]

Has anybody ever said anything about "Grace" on the motorcycle?

[rauldc14]

Kubrick doesn't count with me. ;)

All Kubrick performances are bad:D

[seanc]

Back to my boys

[Swan]

Has anybody ever said anything about "Grace" on the motorcycle?

Not that I know of. I never even noticed it.

[Swan]

All Kubrick performances are bad:D

:tsk: :p

[Sexy Celebrity]

Zed and the other guy are Grace Jones fans. Duh.

[seanc]

Rauldc showing up for a Kubrick shot. Glad we are not watching Bergman

[Swan]

Rauldc showing up for a Kubrick shot. Glad we are not watching Bergman

WHAT?!?!?!?!

[seanc]

Zed and the other guy are Grace Jones fans. Duh.

Should have known from the leather

[Sexy Celebrity]

Look at Raul and I. We're both avoiding our own Highlander commentary.

[Swan]

Sexy and Raul should finish their commentary in here, and we'll finish our commentary in Raul's thread.

[seanc]

WHAT?!?!?!?!

He hated Cries & Whispers. I loved it. I can't wait to watch more Bergman