Swan's Movie Commentaries

[Swan]

These guys are total bros.

[honeykid]

I'm no Terry's side on this one. That was annoying.

[honeykid]

It's gone all giallo musically.

[Swan]

Partyin'!

[honeykid]

American red cups. :D

[Swan]

Let's get drunk WOOOOOOOOOOO!

[honeykid]

Bree looks better goth now than she did back in her Neighbours days.

https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neighbours.tartydoris.com%2F_neighbours%2FSianoa%2520Smit-McPhee%2FSianoaSmit-McPhee016.jpg&f=1

[honeykid]

Outsiders coming together.

[honeykid]

Bree is not going to be happy about this.

[honeykid]

Aw. Poor Bree.

[honeykid]

ooh. Glowing stones.

[Swan]

Eff the eff off you effer!

[Swan]

I really like Leena too.

[honeykid]

Sweet fingers on that sweet boy.

[honeykid]

Here we go. Things picking up now.

[Swan]

Sh*t just got intense.

[honeykid]

Yep, the fit's hitting the shan now.

[Swan]

Here we go. Things picking up now.

Yeah, see. I don't care much for the high school drama in the beginning but with that scene things really pick up and get going, and it becomes quite fun for me..

[honeykid]

I'm fine with the high school drama, but this is a horror so it's time for the horror to kick in.

[honeykid]

Oh dear. The stones are loose. Better watch what you say, Bree.

[Swan]

MAGIC!

[honeykid]

She going to bring them all back?

[honeykid]

OK, the film is answering that now. :D

[honeykid]

I told you to watch what you said, Bree. Stupid girl.

[honeykid]

What happened there? Something with Bree's necklace? I was just flicking back when I saw it.

[honeykid]

LOL@cat

[Swan]

What happened there? Something with Bree's necklace? I was just flicking back when I saw it.

I'm not sure. I think each of them has a stone inside them now.

[honeykid]

Fit zombie dead girls. :D

[Swan]

Friggin' goat milk?

[honeykid]

So they're different people now I take it.

[Swan]

So they're different people now I take it.

I think so. I remember being confused about this. But I think so, yeah.

[honeykid]

Leena's a witch.

That's not nice Maddy, you shouldn't call people names.

[Swan]

It's the neo-Nazi leader from Breaking Bad.

[honeykid]

Green light. Hardly ever a good sign in a horror movie.

[Swan]

Fit zombie dead girls. :D

STRONG fit zombie dead girls. :D

[honeykid]

They got there quick.

I'm sorry Larry, I think my friends are hungry.

[honeykid]

Like the three beautiful vampire scene in Dracula.

[Swan]

I love Leena's smile at the end of that scene.

[honeykid]

Heathers meets The Craft.

[honeykid]

LOL@the mascot strutting with them.

[Swan]

Heathers meets The Craft.

I still haven't seen either of those. And yet, my dad owns both.

[honeykid]

It was ****ing magic dude.

[honeykid]

I still haven't seen either of those. And yet, my dad owns both.

Heathers is an absolute must. I used to like The Craft, but I've not seen in since the 90's.

[Swan]

I love the little performance by the guy who goes "She must have six more somewhere dude!" :laugh:

[Swan]

ORGASM OUT OF NOWHERE!

[MovieGal]

Which film are you two watching?

[honeykid]

If you've turned a girl green when you made her come, then you know some stuff I don't. :D

[honeykid]

Which film are you two watching?

All Cheerleaders Die.

[Swan]

Which film are you two watching?

All Cheerleaders Die.

[honeykid]

Oh, it's cold. :D

[MovieGal]

Oh Kenna from "Reign" is in that film... she's a horrible actress...

[honeykid]

Feeding time!

[honeykid]

Somebody got ****ed, somebody got killed and I'm going to PE>

[Swan]

Oh Kenna from "Reign" is in that film... she's a horrible actress...

No she's not, she's awesome!

[honeykid]

Oh Kenna from "Reign" is in that film... she's a horrible actress...

I don't know who she is. Bree and Rachel from Neighbours are in it. That's all I need. The fact that it's a horror movie with cheerleaders is just gravy.

[MovieGal]

No she's not, she's awesome!

do you watch Reign?.. she's horrible.. :p

[MovieGal]

I don't know who she is. Bree and Rachel from Neighbours are in it. That's all I need. The fact that it's a horror movie with cheerleaders is just gravy.

Caitlin Stasey

[Swan]

I don't know who she is. Bree and Rachel from Neighbours are in it. That's all I need. The fact that it's a horror movie with cheerleaders is just gravy.

She's talking about Rachel, honeykid. Punch her!

[honeykid]

Woah. No way. Rachel's great.

[MovieGal]

She's talking about Rachel, honeykid. Punch her!

You wish!!

[honeykid]

Well that wasn't clever was it silly man.

[honeykid]

Told you it wasn't clever.

[honeykid]

Feeding time again?

[honeykid]

Why would you leave the stones unattended?

[honeykid]

It's homoerotic time again.

[Swan]

So precious.

[honeykid]

Just looked at Reign. More Neighbours alumni in it and Megan Follows? Have to see it.

[honeykid]

Oh dear. The group is starting to split.

[honeykid]

She's got some explaining to do.

[Swan]

Why do people talk to their computers?

[Swan]

That was a week ago. I know you so much better now.

[honeykid]

That was a week ago. I know you so much better now.

I liked that line, too.

[Swan]

More high school drama! Rape!

[Swan]

Terry becoming super-Terry.

[honeykid]

Here we go. The beginning of the end.

[Swan]

What do you think of the movie so far, HK?

[honeykid]

I like it. The tone shifts a little sometimes and I don't know why she bit Vik.

[Swan]

I like it. The tone shifts a little sometimes and I don't know why she bit Vik.

I think she bit him to get more power? Could be wrong.

[honeykid]

That's what I thought, but she'd already fed. I'm guessing Rachel is about to use Martha's stone.

[honeykid]

Bree's going to go all Willow.

[Swan]

You never stick your knife in a lady. That's just rude.

[honeykid]

Looks like they're about to come out.

[Swan]

Damn. Chick can scream.

[honeykid]

I was wondering why that one disappeared. :D

[Swan]

Love that ending.

[honeykid]

I liked that. It has tonal issues, IMO, that I'm not really getting what it's driving at, but I like it nonetheless. I'd like more horror in it though. Still, enjoyable and I'll definitely watch it again.

3 with room to grow.

[honeykid]

Have you seen DEBS?

[Swan]

3 for me too, same rating I gave it last time. I this it's a bit of a mess in many ways but it has great characters and you can tell the filmmakers are into what they're making. I have a blast watching it. And I'm glad to hear you liked it, HK.

[Swan]

Have you seen DEBS?

I haven't. Good?

I was gonna ask if you had seen Skins? You've probably heard of it, anyway.

[honeykid]

I like DEBS, It's a bit like a spy action version of that.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/10/DEBS_poster.JPG/220px-DEBS_poster.JPG

I know of Skins as it was on TV here, but I didn't watch it. Didn't look like something I'd enjoy, tbh.

[Swan]

I really like Skins. I would say maybe check it out. I can't tell if you would love it or hate it, but it has great characters.

[honeykid]

Maybe. If I could catch it from the start. I'm assuming the you mean the UK version? Just always looked like something you'd watch if you couldn't figure out the parental lock on google.:D

[Swan]

Maybe. If I could catch it from the start. I'm assuming the you mean the UK version? Just always looked like something you'd watch if you couldn't figure out the parental lock on google.:D

UK for sure.

No, it's definitely not a kids show. There's some nudity, lots of sex and drugs, etc. You'll see.

[honeykid]

Oh, I know it's not a kids show. At least, not young kids. Just looks like porn for cowards. :D

[Swan]

Oh, I know it's not a kids show. At least, not young kids. Just looks like porn for cowards. :D

:laugh:

I may have grown out of it. But for a while, I was a big fan.

[Gatsby]

Shall we start? Swan? CS?

[Swan]

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK

http://simplyaccessible.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/indianajones2.jpg

With Gatsby and Captain Spaulding!

[Swan]

I'm ready when you buttfaces are.

[Gatsby]

We only need the Captain.

[Swan]

CAPTAIN WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!

[Swan]

C'mon Captain, stop sex-PMing with SC.

[Captain Spaulding]

I'm here.

[Swan]

Gatsby, say when.

[Captain Spaulding]

I'm watching this movie on some crappy website that's probably downloading all sorts of viruses to my computer.

The things I do for you people.

[Gatsby]

Pressed play.

[Swan]

Super late commentary for me. How late is it for you, Captain? It's around lunch time for Gatsby.

[Swan]

Playing!

[Gatsby]

I can't believe this is my 6th time watching this. For comparison, I've seen Oldboy 5 times.

[Swan]

THXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Captain Spaulding]

I don't know. I live underground.

[Swan]

Hi, my name is Indiana Jones, and I like boobs.

[Swan]

That's what he just said. I'm watching the unrated version.

[Captain Spaulding]

CCR's "Run Through The Jungle" would be more appropriate music for this opening scene.

[Swan]

CCR's "Run Through The Jungle" would be more appropriate music for this opening scene.

How dare you insult John Williams!

[Gatsby]

The sound effect for the wip is effing awesome.

[Gatsby]

How dare you insult John Williams!
Yeah he's my hero... well used to be.

[Swan]

Yeah he's my hero... well used to be.

Did you want to be a composer?

[Captain Spaulding]

SPIDERS! GBgoodies never makes it past the five minute mark, I guess.

[Swan]

SPIDERS! GBgoodies never makes it past the five minute mark, I guess.

I bet she hates this movie, only because there are spiders for like, 10 seconds.

[Gatsby]

Foristal? Forestal?

[Captain Spaulding]

This is only my second time ever watching this movie.

[Swan]

Foristal? Forestal?

Forrestal. Had to Google it.

[jiraffejustin]

Spoiler alert: Indiana Jones dies.

[Gatsby]

Spoiler alert: Indiana Jones dies.
We already passed that part.

[Swan]

This is one of those movies I have no idea how many times I've seen it, because I watched it a bunch when I was a kid.

[gbgoodies]

SPIDERS! GBgoodies never makes it past the five minute mark, I guess.

I bet she hates this movie, only because there are spiders for like, 10 seconds.


I've probably seen Raiders of the Lost Ark over 100 times. I just look away from the screen when the spiders show up.

[Swan]

I know it by heart. Watch. There's gonna be a big rock in a little bit.

[Gatsby]

I watched it a bunch when I was a kid.
My parents sadly covered my eyes 90 percent of the time back then so my kid viewings don't count

[Swan]

See, what'd I tell you? Big rock. I know everything.

[Gatsby]

I've probably seen Raiders of the Lost Ark over 100 times. I just look away from the screen when the spiders show up.
Hates spiders but okay with snakes. Youre the opposite of Indy

[Captain Spaulding]

JUNGLE BUTT!

[Swan]

What if honeykid is black?

[Gatsby]

Snakes on a Plane!

[jiraffejustin]

Spoiler alert: Shia LaBeouf.

[Swan]

JUNGLE BUTT!

Indy's eyes are on his head, sir!

[Gatsby]

What if honeykid is black?
That's a possibility. Also I once imagined him being like 50 yrs old.

[Captain Spaulding]

I wonder if this is why Harrison Ford crashed his plane a few weeks ago . . . a snake in the cockpit.

[gbgoodies]

Hates spiders but okay with snakes. Youre the opposite of Indy


I hate snakes too, but I'm not afraid of them unless they're poisonous.

[Swan]

Why would anyone hate harmless snakes? What did they ever do to you?

I hate stupid humans!

[Gatsby]

Why scrub an apple on your sleeve? Lol

[Swan]

We all wish we were Indy, don't we.

[Swan]

Why scrub an apple on your sleeve? Lol

Ever since I was a kid I wondered the same thing, but I think it's just to clean it?

[Captain Spaulding]

When do the aliens show up?

[Captain Spaulding]

I rub my apples on my crotch.

[Swan]

When do the aliens show up?

Well I've heard theories that humans are in fact aliens to Earth, and were brought here by asteroids. If that is the case, the aliens have been on screen the whole time.

[Gatsby]

I love this scene because they explain the whole idea here and from then on it's endless fun.

[gbgoodies]

When do the aliens show up?


In the 4th movie.

[Swan]

I love this scene because they explain the whole idea here and from then on it's endless fun.

I HATE THIS SCENE CAUSE ITS BORING DIALOGUE BOORORRRIRRIRINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

[Gatsby]

Just remembered, gbg is jewish.

[Gatsby]

I HATE THIS SCENE CAUSE ITS BORING DIALOGUE BOORORRRIRRIRINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
No pain no gain.

[Swan]

Just remembered, gbg is jewish.

That means she has a lot of money.

[Captain Spaulding]

Where are the nuke-resistant refrigerators?!?! Why hasn't Shia LeBeef swung with monkeys yet!?!!? When does this movie get awesome!?!?!

[gbgoodies]

Just remembered, gbg is jewish.


But not very religious.

[gbgoodies]

That means she has a lot of money.


I wish.

[Gatsby]

Where are the nuke-resistant refrigerators?!?! Why hasn't Shia LeBeef swung with monkeys yet!?!!? When does this movie get awesome!?!?!
What a spoiled kid you are. :p

[Captain Spaulding]

Kingdom of Crystal Skull was actually my introduction to Indiana Jones. So far I've only seen that and Raiders.

[Swan]

Good God.............................................................................................. yes that's just what the Hebrews thought.

[Gatsby]

The flight service back then is way better than now.

[Swan]

Did he just say the boogeyman? They're talking about me! I'm famous1

[gbgoodies]

Did anyone else see the episode of "The Big Bang Theory" where they figured out that Indiana Jones is completely irrelevant to the outcome of the movie?

[Gatsby]

Yay the Spielberg Oner!

[Swan]

Did anyone else see the episode of "The Big Bang Theory" where they figured out that Indiana Jones is completely irrelevant to the outcome of the movie?

If it was in the first 3 seasons, I did. Don't remember it though.

[Captain Spaulding]

Damn. I lost my money on the curly haired fat guy.

[gbgoodies]

Did anyone else see the episode of "The Big Bang Theory" where they figured out that Indiana Jones is completely irrelevant to the outcome of the movie?

If it was in the first 3 seasons, I did. Don't remember it though.


I think it was in a later season because Amy figured it out.

Think about it. If Indiana Jones wasn't in the movie, the outcome would be the same.

[jiraffejustin]

Did anyone else see the episode of "The Big Bang Theory" where they figured out that Indiana Jones is completely irrelevant to the outcome of the movie?

I watched the episode of The Big Bang Theory where I figured out The Big Bang Theory is completely irrelevant to everything funny in the world. :p

[Gatsby]

I watched the episode of The Big Bang Theory where I figured out The Big Bang Theory is completely irrelevant to everything funny in the world. :p
GTFO jj. You aren't even part of the commentary.

[Swan]

No, JJ, stay!

[Gatsby]

But he said The Big Bang Theory isn't funny.

[gbgoodies]

Season 7 Episode 4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9AOng_9kII

[jiraffejustin]

But he said The Big Bang Theory isn't funny.

Gatsby isn't a fan of honesty.

[Captain Spaulding]

Where are you guys in the film?

[Gatsby]

Back when PG movies had epic shootouts.

[Swan]

Where are you guys in the film?

ZE SHOOTOUT!

[gbgoodies]

Where are you guys in the film?


The bar's on fire.

[Gatsby]

Awesome fast transition. :lol:

[Gatsby]

This commentary is too quiet. Cmon let's chat.

[Swan]

Sorry, I'm making malt-o-meal. Will be back shortly.

[Gatsby]

Sorry, I'm making malt-o-meal. Will be back shortly.
K I paused.

[gbgoodies]

You started without me, and I'm trying to figure out what scene you guys are up to, but it's kind of difficult if nobody says anything. :shrug:

[gbgoodies]

K I paused.


Where did you pause?

[Sexy Celebrity]

Captain Crunch, how'd you get involved with this? You and I were supposed to do a commentary.

[Captain Spaulding]

I accidentally closed out of everything. I'm at the scene where a guy with an eye patch is running around with a monkey on his shoulder.

[Swan]

Oh, you didn't need to pause. I'll pause so you can catch up. I'm at 38:21.

[Swan]

EVERYONE TO 38:21!

[Captain Spaulding]

Captain Crunch, how'd you get involved with this? You and I were supposed to do a commentary.

I don't really know. I don't even own this movie and I'm not the biggest fan of it anyway.

We should be doing a commentary for The Devil's Rejects now that you bought it on blu-ray.

[gbgoodies]

I have Indy fighting a bunch of guys just before the famous swordsman scene.

[Captain Spaulding]

Don't bring a frying pan to a knife fight.

[gbgoodies]

The screaming monkey is a little traitor. :mad:

[gbgoodies]

BANG!

[Captain Spaulding]

SOMEBODY SPANK THAT MONKEY!

[Sexy Celebrity]

We should be doing a commentary for The Devil's Rejects now that you bought it on blu-ray.
I still haven't watched it, but I have it. I might even get House of 1000 Corpses eventually just to see that again.

[Swan]

Okay, I'm playing again.

[Gatsby]

This is my fault. I wanted to do this commentary just because only I wanted to. :(

[Captain Spaulding]

I love that part where he shoots the dude. That's one of the few moments from the movie that's stuck with me.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Damn. You people havin' a big commentary up in here tonight.

[Swan]

This is my fault. I wanted to do this commentary just because only I wanted to. :(

Huh? I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to do it!

[gbgoodies]

I don't know when or how you guys decided on Raiders, but I just joined in as soon as I found out about it.

[Gatsby]

It just has to be a truck with explosives doesn't it

[Swan]

I'm an American!

[Sexy Celebrity]

I don't know when or how you guys decided on Raiders, but I just joined in as soon as I found out about it.
I don't own it and I've really only seen half of it.

[gbgoodies]

It just has to be a truck with explosives doesn't it


I'm just past that. He's talking to Belloq.

[Gatsby]

Whoa I think I'm quite ahead, or Swan is way behind.

[gbgoodies]

I don't own it and I've really only seen half of it.


You should watch the whole movie. It's awesome! :)

[Swan]

I fast forwarded it a bit. I paused at a point and told everyone to get there. No one listened to me.

[Captain Spaulding]

Whoa I think I'm quite ahead, or Swan is way behind.

I'm bringing up the rear, Human Centipede-style.

[gbgoodies]

I fast forwarded it a bit. I paused at a point and told everyone to get there. No one listened to me.


My counter is screwed up. That's why I asked what scene you were up to.

[Gatsby]

Let's all start again at the 42 min mark.

[gbgoodies]

Let's all start again at the 42 min mark.


What scene? My counter doesn't work properly.

[Sexy Celebrity]

50% of commentaries are, "WHAT SCENE ARE YOU AT?!"

"PAUSE THE MOVIE!!!!"
"WHAT TIME ARE YOU AT?!"
"HONEYKID, YOU'RE AHEAD OF US!"

[Swan]

Let's all start again at the 42 min mark.

Okay, I'm there.

[gbgoodies]

50% of commentaries are, "WHAT SCENE ARE YOU AT?!"

"PAUSE THE MOVIE!!!!"
"WHAT TIME ARE YOU AT?!"
"HONEYKID, YOU'RE AHEAD OF US!"


Honeykid's been pretty quiet during this commentary. ;)

[Gatsby]

What scene? My counter doesn't work properly.
Truck explodes and Indy pulls off a nice shocked face.

[Sexy Celebrity]

HK will see it tomorrow. He reads all of them.

[gbgoodies]

Truck explodes and Indy pulls off a nice shocked face.


Indy and the monkey are getting drunk.

[Swan]

Okay. I'm playing.

[gbgoodies]

I liked Belloq. He was a great villain.

[Captain Spaulding]

I'm paying more attention to the pop-ads for erotic hook-up sites than the movie.

[Funny Face]

Darn it! Wish I knew about this earlier!

[gbgoodies]

I'm paying more attention to the pop-ads for erotic hook-up sites than the movie.


My DVD doesn't have those. :shrug:

[Captain Spaulding]

Apparently there are a lot of horny, lonely women in my area waiting to meet me tonight.

[Captain Spaulding]

My DVD doesn't have those. :shrug:

Obviously you don't have the Special Edition.

[Swan]

You need Adblock, Cap.

[gbgoodies]

Darn it! Wish I knew about this earlier!


I didn't know about this in advance either. Maybe we should set up a schedule for these commentaries?

[Gatsby]

I didn't know about this in advance either. Maybe we should set up a schedule for these commentaries?
Commentaries are best when suddenly decided.

[gbgoodies]

Commentaries are best when suddenly decided.


But easily missed. :(

[gbgoodies]

Belloq's staff is too long. They're digging in the wrong place!

[Sexy Celebrity]

Spur of the moment commentaries aren't scheduled. If you miss something, you have to wait till someone else is willing to do another with you.

Nobody seems to do auto-commentaries, where you commentate with only yourself. That was how I originally designed these things (though I apparently share design credit with TONGO.)

[Swan]

There's gonna be a dead monkey soon.

[gbgoodies]

There's gonna be a dead monkey soon.


Bad dates.

[Swan]

Yes, we can plan another Raiders commentary, one where Funny Face and anyone else can join.

[Gatsby]

The Monkey is one of my favorite characters in the film. Pity he dies.

[gbgoodies]

The Monkey is one of my favorite characters in the film, Pity he dies.


He's a traitor. He deserves to die.

[jiraffejustin]

There's gonna be a dead monkey soon.

The very best kind of monkey I always say.

[Gatsby]

He's a traitor. He deserves to die.
I prefer villains over heroes that's why.

[Swan]

Why is Indy wearing a dress?

[gbgoodies]

Doesn't it look like the Washington Monument in the middle of that city?

[Captain Spaulding]

Indiana Jones and the Terrorists of ISIS.

[Swan]

Whoa, that was a weird looking lens flare.

[gbgoodies]

So if he breaks the stick in half, the Nazis can't figure out how to put it together again to find out the correct size?

[Gatsby]

Why is Indy wearing a dress?
It makes him look like Lawrence, which is cool.

[Swan]

It makes him look like Lawrence, which is cool.

Does Lawrence Fishburne wear dresses a lot or something?

[jiraffejustin]

Pretty sure he's talking about Lawrence of Tunisia.

[Gatsby]

Does Lawrence Fishburne wear dresses a lot or something?
No I meant Lawrence as in Lawrence of Arabia. My bad.

[Swan]

No I meant Lawrence as in Lawrence of Arabia. My bad.

NAAAAH REALLY WHODA THUNK? :D

[gbgoodies]

That's an ominous looking sky. :eek:

[Captain Spaulding]

Does Lawrence Fishburne wear dresses a lot or something?

Only after taking too many blue pills.

[Gatsby]

Wow I did Nazi that scar coming.

[gbgoodies]

Indy: Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?
Sallah: Asps. Very dangerous. You go first.

[Sexy Celebrity]

Does Lawrence Fishburne wear dresses a lot or something?

Only after taking too many blue pills.
Thought you meant Viagra at first, but then I realized the reference.

[jiraffejustin]

Wow I did Nazi that scar coming.

Are the Nazis the good guys in this movie?