Swan's Movie Commentaries

[Miss Vicky]

Kyle's Killer Lemonade is kind of gay but he can get it for them.

[Miss Vicky]

She needs some Seth's Own Dressing.

[Cole416]

Hey Greg why dont you go piss your pants again? That was like 8 years ago, man. People don't forget

[Miss Vicky]

He'll be the Iron Chef of pounding vag.

[Miss Vicky]

I think we lost Swan.

[Swan]

James Franco's little brother.

[Cole416]

Swanny boy?

[Miss Vicky]

He wants to be that mistake.

[Miss Vicky]

She wants some Gold Slick Vodka.

[Swan]

I think we lost Swan.

I'm here. My Macbook Pro has been annoyingly slow lately. Need to get it checked.

[Miss Vicky]

Boob punch.

[Cole416]

I'm right with you now, Vicky.

[Swan]

I think the second time she says "it's okay" is an audio repeat of the first time. It sounds identical.

[Cole416]

I feel like one of these pimps right now

[Miss Vicky]

Fogel pussied out.

[Swan]

Michael Cera feels like a pimp.

[Miss Vicky]

Fogel is a used tampon.

[Cole416]

MCLOVIN!!!

[Miss Vicky]

I am McLovin. It is flawless.

[Cole416]

Muhammed is the most common name, read a book.

[Miss Vicky]

What are you trying to be, an Irish R and B singer?

[Miss Vicky]

You look like a future pedophile in this, number one.

One name? Who are you, Seal?

[Cole416]

*Sees that ID has 25 years old on there* It's called f'ing strategy man

[Cole416]

FAGEL!

[Swan]

Hawaiian organ donar.

[Miss Vicky]

Seth's car got towed.

[Miss Vicky]

No one's gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'Nam.

[Miss Vicky]

Do you have any bigger clothes or do you only shop at Baby Gap?

[Swan]

World of Warcraft sticker.

[Cole416]

We're bustin out!

*Shot to Fogel with an ugly vest*

[Miss Vicky]

McLovin looks like Pinnochio.

[Swan]

His outfit. :laugh:

[Cole416]

You didn't tell him we're moving together?

[Swan]

Now Seth's gotta pick up all the pieces.

[Miss Vicky]

Take off your vest, you look like Aladdin. :laugh:

[Cole416]

Old Lady: Enjoy f'ing Jules!

I will!

[Swan]

Seth likes to daydream. A lot.

[Miss Vicky]

Let's go to the liquor store and watch your stupid ID get rejected.

[Cole416]

I should have wore the vest!

[Miss Vicky]

This whole thing is bigger than you, Fogel. So grow a pair of nuts!

[Miss Vicky]

You should really clean this up. Someone could really hurt themselves.

FML.

[Miss Vicky]

He brought spermicidal lube.

[Miss Vicky]

Seth was just going to hump the ***** out of her leg.

[Miss Vicky]

The lube exploded.

[Cole416]

I'm gonna need some ID.

Really? Makes me feel young again.

[Cole416]

I gotta catch a glimpse at these warlocks, lets make a move!

[Swan]

Ugggh my laptop is weird. When I decide to sit back, it gets all slow. I uncomfortably sit forward and it works.

[Miss Vicky]

Making your t!ts smaller is like slapping God in the face.

[Cole416]

https://saltshakernews.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/mclovinpunch.gif

[Miss Vicky]

Say When, height wise.

[Miss Vicky]

Ethnically, was he like us or...?

[Cole416]

Say when, heightwise. He was 5'10


Ethnically.... Was he like us.. or you? Female? No.... Was he Aff.... rican.

He looked just like you!
Oh Jewish!
So we're looking for an 5'10 African Jew.

[Miss Vicky]

That's an odd crime for a Jew to commit.

Okay so we have an African Jew wearing a hoodie.

[Cole416]

That whole scene was perfect.

[Swan]

These cops are terrible! :D

[Miss Vicky]

She did not get felt up or violated. She has a G*ddamn veterinary exam tomorrow.

[Cole416]

Joe lo Truglio is hilarious.

[Cole416]

How old are you McLovin? Old enough.

[Swan]

But we're the police...

[Miss Vicky]

Seth doesn't give a crap about Fogel. He's not going to bake him a cake with a f*cking file in it.

[Miss Vicky]

The driver didn't effing see Seth at all, man.

McLovin' is a bad ass name.

[Swan]

Phuck.

[Miss Vicky]

Just like a woman: Even after you're dead, they want to tear your heart out.

[Cole416]

Buses smell like piss... You know why? No.

Because people piss in them

[Swan]

This guy is weird.

[Cole416]

If the dude ejaculated then punched you in the face, we could probably catch him. But he just punched you.

[Swan]

Buses smell like piss... You know why? No.

Because people piss in them

I think you're way ahead of me, bro. I wonder if what I'm watching is unrated...

[Miss Vicky]

You guys on MySpace or...?

[Miss Vicky]

I've got the extended edition on DVD. I think that's the problem.

[Cole416]

That's probably why... Mine isn't.

[Miss Vicky]

The cop assumed there was semen on everything. He thought there was a semen database.

[Miss Vicky]

That's Yoda. You familair with Yoda, from Attack of the Clones?

[Swan]

Yoda impression.

[Miss Vicky]

Welcome to the Thunderdome.

[Miss Vicky]

Truce man.

Kick to the nuts.

[Swan]

Tiger got out of the cage, man!

[Miss Vicky]

Michael Cera needs his nuts for a lot of things.

[Cole416]

Bullets start flying, you hit the deck.

[Miss Vicky]

Resisting, Resisting!!

[Miss Vicky]

McLovin, stop him

[Miss Vicky]

McLovin screams like a little bitch. I have manlier scream than that.

[Swan]

This part's a bit slapsticky.

[Cole416]

McLovin in the f'ing house!

[Miss Vicky]

Drunk period girl thinks Seth dances hot.

[Cole416]

Seth dancing lol!

[Cole416]

It was funny... But who would really say that to their phone..

[Swan]

I think I've seen this movie too many times.

[Miss Vicky]

Liquor store guy's gonna get f*cked up.

[Cole416]

What's that stain on your pants man.

[Miss Vicky]

I think I've seen this movie too many times.

I've only seen it maybe a handful of times.

[Cole416]

OMFG so gross.

[Miss Vicky]

Seth, do you need a tampon?

[Sexy Celebrity]

McLovin screams like a little bitch. I have manlier scream than that.

I believe it.

[Cole416]

F**k me, right?

[Swan]

Girl in the pink is Seth Rogen's girlfriend.

[Miss Vicky]

The cop met the missus at paintball, shot in the neck. He met his first wife - who is a whore - at this bar.

[Cole416]

You gotta meet girls at.... a pumpkin patch, at the right time of year.

[Cole416]

At our wedding night we had group sex, I wasn't in it. But I could hear it! LOL.

[Miss Vicky]

We need backup! There's so much blood!

Turn that off, man.

[Cole416]

We should get some road beers.

Could we get 13 beers to go please?

[Swan]

Jonah Hill looking like a Simpson.

[Miss Vicky]

I'm gonna be there, full throttle. Charlie's Angels 2.

[Cole416]

I'm gonna be there full throttle... Charlies Angels 2.

[Swan]

I wonder how honeykid feels about Charlies Angels 2.

[Miss Vicky]

Having a gun is like having two c***s. If one of your c***s could kill someone.

[Miss Vicky]

Oh you got a stain, too. We're blood brothers.

[Miss Vicky]

A ricochet scenario. :laugh:

[Cole416]

Ooh you got a stain too, we're blood brothers.

I'm so done :laugh:

[Swan]

Michael Cera shredding.

[Cole416]

Michael Cera singing :laugh:

[Cole416]

I'm sorry.... You used my leg as a tampon!

[Miss Vicky]

I'm sorry, you used my leg as a tampon!

[Miss Vicky]

Mark, I called the cops, you should hide your gun.

[Miss Vicky]

This movie is so f*cking juvenile, but so damn funny.

[Cole416]

Cop: Sh*t the cops! BAIL!

[Miss Vicky]

Uh oh, couple's fight.

[Miss Vicky]

He's going to college a friendless virgin.

[Cole416]

Lightsaber fight!

[Miss Vicky]

Seth gets hit again.

[Miss Vicky]

I can't believe this is happening again. What are the odds?

[Swan]

I realize I'm being quiet, but I think I've outgrown this movie a bit.

[Cole416]

I realize I'm being quiet, but I think I've outgrown this movie a bit.
What would you give it now rating-wise?

[Miss Vicky]

Smoke up. Life's short, you know? Suck it in, my friend. Suck it long and deep.

[Swan]

What would you give it now rating-wise?

3+ or 3.5-. I'm not sure yet.

I still like it, and respect it as quality comedy. But the jokes just don't quite land as well, as I've seen the film way too many times.

[Miss Vicky]

Michael Cera's run. :laugh:

[Cole416]

What did you give it on your first few watches?

And lol, Seth Rogen can't catch Michael Cera.

[Swan]

But ignore me. Let's focus on the movie.

[Swan]

What did you give it on your first few watches?

And lol, Seth Rogen can't catch Michael Cera.

When I first saw it at, like, 14? I didn't give out ratings back then. :p

[Miss Vicky]

He's the fastest kid alive.

[Miss Vicky]

Hey, it's you, McMuffin!

[Swan]

Not the sparkly stuff!

[Sexy Celebrity]

That movie is almost 10 years old.

[Cole416]

Damn I didn't even notice that. Thought it was 6 or 7.

[Miss Vicky]

This bromance is on the rocks.

[Cole416]

Seth is the man of the party!

[Swan]

That movie is almost 10 years old.

Wow.

[Miss Vicky]

Michael Cera has ethics.

[Cole416]

Evan doesn't care if he gets laid, but he has a chance.

Seth NEEDS to get laid, and no chance. Lol, that's gotta blow.

[Swan]

Fogel's dancing. Okay, that still makes me laugh. :laugh:

[Cole416]

Serving drinks out of a detergent tub.

[Miss Vicky]

That detergent booze would so give everybody the sh!ts.

[Cole416]

Here's to people respecting women!

[Cole416]

You changed your name to McLovin? That's so cool... So... What's Hawaii like?

[Miss Vicky]

You changed your name to McLovin? That's so cool. So, like, what's Hawaii like?

[Miss Vicky]

I so flirt with you in math.

Tell me about it. Same-sies.

[Swan]

Cole and Miss Vicky are on a similar wavelength.

[Cole416]

I don't find her that attractive really. Nor do I find Fogel's catch attractive.

[Miss Vicky]

So awkward.

[Cole416]

McLovin... I've never been with an older guy before. :laugh:

[Miss Vicky]

I'm not finding anybody in this attractive.

[Miss Vicky]

Rejected. This is not Seth's night.

[Cole416]

Evan Evan! I'm so wet.

They told me that would happen in Health.

[Miss Vicky]

Evan, Evan... I'm so wet.

Yeah they said that would happen... in Health. :laugh:

[Cole416]

Cole and Miss Vicky are on a similar wavelength.
This.

[Cole416]

Why do you have to be such a b!tch? *throws up*

[Cole416]

*Girl licks Fogel's finger* I got a boner!

[Miss Vicky]

McLovin's the only one who's gonna get some. :laugh:

[Miss Vicky]

WHAT THE ****? OW!

[Miss Vicky]

Cops: Somebody forgot to call pest control.

[Cole416]

Cameo from the guy from Hot Tub Time Machine.

[Miss Vicky]

I assume you all have guns and crack!

[Miss Vicky]

Cameo from the guy from Hot Tub Time Machine.

That movie was awful.

[Swan]

Cameo from the guy from Hot Tub Time Machine.

My dad loves that movie. I think it's a stupid Hangover ripoff.

[Cole416]

It's in. It's in!

[Miss Vicky]

Dancing cop. :laugh:

McLovin: It's in! Oh my God, it's in!

[Miss Vicky]

My dad loves that movie. I think it's a stupid Hangover ripoff.

The Hangover was awful, too.

[Cole416]

I only liked the parts with Cusack and some Craig Robinson. Rob Cordry or whatever his name is, is really annoying. The kid wasn't very funny either.

[Cole416]

The Hangover was awful, too.

I loved The Hangover :\.

[Swan]

I loved The Hangover :\.

Me too. Miss Vicky is wrong. :)

[Miss Vicky]

I only liked the parts with Cusack and some Craig Robinson. Rob Cordry or whatever his name is, is really annoying. The kid wasn't very funny either.

Even Cusack couldn't make it bearable, and I love him.

[Cole416]

http://img.pandawhale.com/67531-Big-Lewbowski-gif-thats-just-l-LrZh.gif

[Miss Vicky]

Wait for me, wait for me on the outside!

We were going to go to Hawaii.

[Miss Vicky]

Seth wants pizza bagels. I don't think I've ever had one of those.

[Cole416]

I'd never go back to calling myself Fogel!

[Miss Vicky]

Cops doing donuts.

[Miss Vicky]

He's not usually this drunk when he does this, but I think that could make it more cool.

[Cole416]

PANAMA!

[Cole416]

It worked, it worked! We won!

[Miss Vicky]

Torching the cruiser. Worst cops ever.

[Miss Vicky]

Can we shoot at it?
I don't know, can you?

[Miss Vicky]

Break yourself, fool! Tight.

[Cole416]

Bromance back together?

[Miss Vicky]

A little heart to heart about when Evan was taking a *****.

[Swan]

Twist: Seth knew.

[Miss Vicky]

The bromance is restored. This scene is so bromantic.

I love you, man.
I love you. I'm not even embarrassed to say it.
I love you, why don't we say that every day?

[Swan]

Boop, boop, boop.

[Miss Vicky]

Seth doesn't have to rush off like that.
Evan needs to get a new comforter.

[Cole416]

The cameltail

[Miss Vicky]

Seth is doing like college poses.

[Miss Vicky]

Evan wishes there were more pants where there aren't.

[Swan]

Hey prof. :laugh:

[Miss Vicky]

Girls go nuts for male camel toe.

[Miss Vicky]

It's like a division sign.

[Swan]

Stay away from me, puke!

[Cole416]

This conversation is so awkward.

[Miss Vicky]

So Seth, do you wanna come buy me cover up or something? You kind of owe me.
Seth had such bad acne that he kind of became an expert.

Hollywood happy ending.

[Swan]

Handshake as they leave.

[Cole416]

Well this got better for me.

First watch: 3
Second Watch (Now): 3.5+

[Miss Vicky]

Seth keeps looking back at Evan. Cue romantic music.

[Miss Vicky]

3.5+

[Swan]

Ending bumps up my rating a little bit. I was hoping to give it a four, but I wasn't feeling it so much this time.

I give it a solid 3.5, which is my rating for "really good". Still think it's a quality comedy.

[Miss Vicky]

Never been a big favorite, but it's very entertaining.

[Cole416]

It was fun guys! I gotta go though for tonight, gotta wake up in 7 hrs and 30 mins :(

[rauldc14]

I would give it 3+ , but that was a long time ago when I saw it. I don't think it would go any higher than that, and would likely decline.

[Swan]

Thanks for doing the comedy peeps. Night, Cole. :cool:

[Miss Vicky]

Good night, Cole.

I'm gonna bounce for a little bit, too. Need to eat dinner and watch GOT.

[rauldc14]

Swan, I hope we can do one next weekend buddy.

[Swan]

Of course, Raul. :)

[Ðèstîñy]

Swan, I hope we can do one next weekend buddy.

OK, I would like it if you were in when I do another. I'm about to post the list in a few.

Swan, are you sure you want me to post this here, for you guys to tell me what you have and have not seen? It's a sort of long list.

[Swan]

Sure, here or the Commentate thread. Up to you.

[Ðèstîñy]

I tell you what, kid. I do not know the exact year of many of these films. I just got done listing almost 30, and there's a whole lot more, but I was going to IMDB to get the dates. The pages closed, and I lost my post. I am going to type the titles on notepad, and slap them into this post, just like that, with no year attached. If you have no clue what movie it is, let me know.

There's a good chance I'm seriously irritated right now!

[Swan]

:p Poor Destiny. :laugh:

[Swan]

KILL BILL VOL. 1

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn187/bdfolsom/3eb700b8-bf19-40ac-8bea-8a9a24918431_zpsmen0c4of.jpg

With MovieMeditation and whoever else wants to join!

[Swan]

30 minute warning. Hoping to gather some more participants.

[Swan]

Bumpity bump.

[honeykid]

Give me 5 minutes and I should be done.

[Funny Face]

Sorry I'll miss this!

[rauldc14]

I'll join

[rauldc14]

I got to take my dog out before we start though.

[MovieMeditation]

Alright, I'm currently jamming out to the menu screen right now, ready to go whenever people feel like it.

[honeykid]

How long till we start? 20 minutes?

[Swan]

I'm ready too. Guess we're just waiting on the slowpoke raul.

[rauldc14]

I'm ready. Swan I think you should give an official start time.

[Swan]

:49

[rauldc14]

:49 it is!

[honeykid]

OK, less than two minutes people. Let us know when, Swan. :)

[Swan]

I like to live on the edge.

[MovieMeditation]

Finally it is happening, and we got more with us Swan! F*ck yeah epic commentary today!

[Swan]

Finally it is happening, and we got more with us Swan! F*ck yeah epic commentary today!

I'm expecting amazing fun facts from you, MM.

[rauldc14]

I should be sleeping more. Oh well

[Swan]

Go!

[MovieMeditation]

I'm expecting amazing fun facts from you, MM.
Damn, someone expect something from me?

[rauldc14]

Play pressed

[rauldc14]

Bang bang!

[MovieMeditation]

Played. classic openings once again. love it!

[Swan]

Old exploitation logos.

[honeykid]

I should be sleeping more. Oh well

You can sleep when you're dead... Or the next time you watch Inglorious Basterds. Either way you won't miss anything. :)

[MovieMeditation]

Love this f*cking opening!

[rauldc14]

Vivica Fox and Lucy Liu. Hmmm

[honeykid]

Sounds sexy... But it's not.

[Swan]

I haven't seen this in so long.

[Swan]

Raul, how are you watching this? I think you're a little ahead of me.

[rauldc14]

I think I accident my started Kill Bill 2 last time when I thought I was watching Kill Bill 1

[MovieMeditation]

Robert Rodriguez was one of the first if not the first to get this opening presented to him by QT reading it out to him. There's a video, I bet you've seen it. It's awesome to see Tarantino see passionately put forward his work of art.

[rauldc14]

On Netflix.

[Swan]

What do you guys want to do?

[rauldc14]

There goes the mirror.

[MovieMeditation]

love how the death list is literally in the credits... awesome

[Swan]

Whoa, I didn't know Sonny Chiba was in this.

[rauldc14]

I feel ahead of everyone