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If to destroy it is what you want, there is only one true way... To destory a mullet you must follow these rules very closely. Douse its greasy flesh in urine soaked petroleum, then stand under the 13th sun of the month at approximatly 2 pm. Hold a silver monacle over your scalp and await the power of the sun to ignite the Mullety beast. And don't get it wet or feed it after midnight. Only then, can you be free...
Pidd, spike the mullet up and out. Dont try and slick it flat against your neck, you have the power of the mullet, USE it to your advantage! Pull it out and up along with your golden locks on top of your head. Sure you'll have huge hair but its better than looking like a german surfer.