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We got Punk'd.
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I really just want you all angry and confused the whole time.
My First Two Movie Reviews EVER
→ in Movie Reviews
We got Punk'd.
Thanks for reading, guys! It means a lot to know people are reading my reviewing.
Val
Last edited by Yoda; 09-07-08 at 10:23 PM.
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That isn't what he is confused about...
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“Film can't just be a long line of bliss. There's something we all like about the human struggle.” ― David Lynch
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Sedai, I'm a "she" 
Okay, valariewriter, I read your website more thorougly and now that I get your act, you're actually pretty funny. I loved the bit where you called the Indiana Jones movie the "Shia LeBeof" movie and how they were originally 1930s serials. I laughed. You're pretty good.
And that is not being sarcastic. I'm not. Funny website.
But I don't appreciate you coming here and making fools of us. That's what you did. I feel incredibly silly now that I talked to you like some mother/child or teacher/student (being both a mother and a teacher, it isn't a stretch for me to go there). But this was a game to you and while you certainly have some talent for writing funny bits, I don't really think it was that funny what you did in this thread.
I wish you luck in your future endeavors. And I know what punk'd means.
Okay, valariewriter, I read your website more thorougly and now that I get your act, you're actually pretty funny. I loved the bit where you called the Indiana Jones movie the "Shia LeBeof" movie and how they were originally 1930s serials. I laughed. You're pretty good.
And that is not being sarcastic. I'm not. Funny website.
But I don't appreciate you coming here and making fools of us. That's what you did. I feel incredibly silly now that I talked to you like some mother/child or teacher/student (being both a mother and a teacher, it isn't a stretch for me to go there). But this was a game to you and while you certainly have some talent for writing funny bits, I don't really think it was that funny what you did in this thread.
I wish you luck in your future endeavors. And I know what punk'd means.
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Okay, valariewriter, I read your website more thorougly and now that I get your act, you're actually pretty funny. I loved the bit where you called the Indiana Jones movie the "Shia LeBeof" movie and how they were originally 1930s serials. I laughed. You're pretty good.
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Great Clone Wars review.
ADMIN EDIT: Link removed.. If you want to post reviews, fine, but promote your site some other way. We know what your schtick is.
I've had almost a thousand hits on that review, already and I just posted it. Sorry if that sounds like I'm bragging, but I am just so excited that so many people are reading me.
xo
Val
Last edited by Yoda; 09-19-08 at 10:22 PM.
Well I actually read her review (god save me,) and I have a few comments, spoilers below.
Nope, Batman can't fly and is just a normal dude who is just rich as $^&*
Actually, the film that brought Batman to the big screen for most people was simply titled BATMAN by Mr. Tim Burton. But if you want to go furthur back "Mayor" Adam West brought Batman to the big screen with BATMAN: The Movie.
BATMAN (1966)
BATMAN (1989)
BATMAN RETURNS (1992)
BATMAN FOREVER (1995)
BATMAN & ROBIN (1997)
BATMAN BEGINS (2005)
THE DARK KNIGHT (2008)
The rest of BATMAN apperences that I didn't even bother posting
Actually they aren't, they are breaking a window.
Doubtful that he is sad, since he killed them...
Actually he wants to stop because it is ruining his life as Bruce Wayne, and it was causing too much stress. It was never, fun
Thank you Captian obvious....
No, he doesn't spontaniously combust, he spills bomb making material that The Joker left, on himself, when the bomb explodes some of the shratinal gets him.
,
Captain Obvious strikes again.
Because they might have thought the other boat was going to kill them.
You're funny!
Aka his bullet proof vest...
In case you didn't know, Heath died rather suddenly because he was a drug addict, he didn't know he was dyeing.
Damn, great eyes, because again, he wasn't sick...
Captain Obvious number three: The Return of the Revenge
Do I even need a joke for this one?
A couple things wrong with that
1) he was lyeing
2) Joker never says his scars heals and for his wife story, he never had scars before.
3) His wife's scar was carved by loan sharks (me thinks)
That's just my three cents.
He changes his voice so no one will recognize him in the film glad it worked for you.
2 things,
1) Just NO ROBIN
2) Chris Nolan (the director) gets to decide if and who plays Robin. As for LeBeouf, no.
Thank you and Good night.
To read the rest of the review
Moviegoers really love seeing criminals get beaten up by people with supernatural or magical abilities and Batman is no exception. With his super human strength and ability to fly, Batman has come a long way from his humble beginnings.
Not until Batman Begins, that is, when Christian Bale and a director brought Batman to the big screen. From then on, there was no stopping the Caped Crusades!
BATMAN (1966)
BATMAN (1989)
BATMAN RETURNS (1992)
BATMAN FOREVER (1995)
BATMAN & ROBIN (1997)
BATMAN BEGINS (2005)
THE DARK KNIGHT (2008)
The rest of BATMAN apperences that I didn't even bother posting
The Dark Knight actually starts off kind of cute with a group of clowns riding in a car.
Actually they aren't, they are breaking a window.
There is a big shootout and only one clown is left: The Joker. Upset and alone because his friends are dead.
Meanwhile, Batman returns from Japan and begins to wonder if being Batman is even fun anymore.
Crime makes him sad,
Harvey Dent gets so enraged by Maggie dying that his face actually catches on fire.
Meanwhile, the whole town of Gotham is scared of The Joker
Captain Obvious strikes again.
But, then, why would they, right?
they can be friends once he gets out of jail.
You're funny!
Meanwhile, Two Face tries to kill Detective Gordon’s family, but Batman uses his body of steel of stop the bullets.
that finds out he’s dying and decides that his last role will be a bad guy is pretty brave.
because it was so obvious that Heath was really sick, but kept going
The character of The Joker is incredibly scary, at times.
The Exploder or The Terrorist because calling him The Joker suggests that he will be funnier than he really is.
First, his dad got drunk and cut a smile into Joker’s mouth. *SPOILER* I don’t care what state you live in, that is still child abuse and totally wrong! Then, after his scars healed and he was an adult, his wife had plastic surgery and was worried about her scars, so Heath re-cut his mouth into a smile himself in order to show his wife that he loved her no matter what. *SPOILER* Kind of romantic, right? Apparently not enough for the wife because she decides to divorce him because he’s ugly! It’s no wonder that The Joker was so mean to people. All he had ever had his whole life were people being mean to him and, after a few years, that makes people turn their sadness into meanness. That’s just my two cents, though.
1) he was lyeing
2) Joker never says his scars heals and for his wife story, he never had scars before.
3) His wife's scar was carved by loan sharks (me thinks)
That's just my three cents.
Christian Bale actually changes his voice when he’s in his Batman costume. Which leaves the audience to wonder: which voice is the real Batman? The Batman voice or the not Batman voice? It is little things like that, however subtle they may be to the average viewer, that add to the mystery of the character and the complexity of his dark past.
Batman, I was reminded that Batman had a sidekick named Robin. I know the movie hasn’t been cast yet, but I really think Christian Bale should consider Shia LeBeouf as Robin.
1) Just NO ROBIN
2) Chris Nolan (the director) gets to decide if and who plays Robin. As for LeBeouf, no.
Thank you and Good night.
To read the rest of the review
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Originally Posted by Yoda
If I were buying a laser gun I'd definitely take the XF-3800 before I took the "Pew Pew Pew Fun Gun."
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Um, Lennon, you know she's joking right.
Unlike some others here, the only thing I find funny about her reviews is that they fooled so many "serious" movie critics here at movieforums. But you know, whatever, if she is having fun, that's good enough for me.
I'm undecided as to how much writing talent it requires from an adult to author reviews designed to look like 3rd grade work, but as testament to her ability are the numerous dumb-founded forum readers.
I think in part too many were too eager to correct Valerie's various non-facts, to realize just how obviously silly her reviews were. I mean c'mon she stated that episode 1 of Star Wars was released before episode 4 - no one on this planet thinks that.
Still Valerie, I would like to see a real review blessed with your own actual thoughts and opinions.
Unlike some others here, the only thing I find funny about her reviews is that they fooled so many "serious" movie critics here at movieforums. But you know, whatever, if she is having fun, that's good enough for me.
I'm undecided as to how much writing talent it requires from an adult to author reviews designed to look like 3rd grade work, but as testament to her ability are the numerous dumb-founded forum readers.
I think in part too many were too eager to correct Valerie's various non-facts, to realize just how obviously silly her reviews were. I mean c'mon she stated that episode 1 of Star Wars was released before episode 4 - no one on this planet thinks that.
Still Valerie, I would like to see a real review blessed with your own actual thoughts and opinions.
Hey Lennon, what's with that "Heath died rather suddenly because he was a drug addict."? Sounds like FOXNEWS BS.
I won't comment on, but I will mention the "dyeing" and "lyeing" bits.
Love ya, Big Guy.
I won't comment on, but I will mention the "dyeing" and "lyeing" bits.
Love ya, Big Guy.
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Still Valerie, I would like to see a real review blessed with your own actual thoughts and opinions.
Keep up the good work!
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Hey Lennon, what's with that "Heath died rather suddenly because he was a drug addict."? Sounds like FOXNEWS
You can burn a man's crops, steal his women, break his remote, even sleep with his mother, but you can NEVER call a man FOXNEW, not even Hitler deserved that treatment.
And okay, I got Punk'd...
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Well, personally, I would like to see more of the same kind of reviews that you have been writing, Valerie, because I think they are good and not bad and I think that The Dark Knight review was the funniest review you have reviewed so far and that it was a good review of a good movie. I think that you do already have the talent that a writer should have and I think that the captions on the pictures on the reviews that you have written are especially funny and I think your reviews are blessed with your own thoughts as they are in their present form.
Keep up the good work!
Keep up the good work!
