Vampires, Assassins, and Romantic Angst by the Seaside: Takoma Reviews

I agree. I think that it's more that he always seems very present in his roles (in a way that makes me think he probably is a pretty good stage actor). I thought he was very funny in his supporting role in Lost City of Z.

I really enjoyed it. Some unfortunate stuff came out about the director a short while back.

Right. It's the antithesis of a role you'd watch just to moon over him and could have been an absolute disaster if it had gone the wrong way.

Also did not see that. Another rec?

Never heard of 'im, maybe this is why. From the trailers I couldn't tell if it was gonna be genuinely creative or just sort of dumb-fine high-octane like Crank (not that I'm above such things, sometimes).

Exactly. It's one of the reasons I'm still awed by Forrest Gump. People throw the word "brave" around a lot but not that many roles actually qualify. I imagine it's very tough, as an established actor, to figure out how things like that are gonna shake out, so they're pretty heavily incentivized to play it safe. Radcliffe didn't just take a risky role there, he took it with some up-and-coming filmmakers, too.

I really enjoyed it. It's an adventure romantic comedy with Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum, both of whom I thought were hilarious. He's the model on the cover of her romance novels and he decides to save her when a mad billionire (Radcliffe) kidnaps her to help him find a lost ancient city. I thought it did a really nice job of making both characters relatable and not having either of them be the "better" one, so it feels like a nice balance between them. It's light entertainment, but the good kind of light entertainment. HERE'S the review I wrote of it.

Also, I originally wrote The Lost City of Z, but I'm actually talking about The Lost City. Lost City of Z is a VERY different movie.

I think it's good dumb fun. I mean, Radcliffe wakes up with guns nailed to his hands. Samara Weaving is also really good/fun in it.

Yes, I think Boorman did an excellent job, visually.

Not much into Vampires, Assassins, and Romantic Angst...

Rhubarb, 1951

Eccentric millionaire Banner (Gene Lockhart) comes across an intelligent, belligerent, feral cat on his golf course and decides to capture and adopt the animal. Calling the cat Rhubarb, he takes him as an unofficial mascot. But when Banner dies, it’s revealed that he has left a baseball team he owns, and it’s up to PR rep Eric (Ray Milland) to win over the upset baseball players and keep Rhubarb safe from Banner’s bitter daughter, Myra (Elsie Holmes).

A winning, very silly screwball comedy.

There’s something very refreshing about a movie that knows just how silly it is and goes after that tone the whole way through. There are plenty of jokes to be made about a cat owning a baseball team, professional baseball in general, and televised sports, and the film manages to score laughs on all three fronts.

A major sticking point with any animal-centric film, especially one from the 1950s, is the way that the animal actors are treated. With the exception of two not-too-bad moments, it seemed as if the animal action was mainly accomplished through low stress means, strategic angles, and off-screen action. There’s a recurring joke of dogs chasing Rhubarb, the animals disappearing from view, the sound of hissing and barking, and then a shot of Rhubard chasing the dogs. You can tell that this is done using editing, as with pretty much every other sequence where Rhubarb is in danger.

Milland makes for a good lead as he must keep the press, the players, and his fiance Polly (Jan Sterling) happy. Eric isn’t exactly thrilled about being forced into perpetual cat-sitting, but he wants what’s best for Rhubarb and the team. He has an easy chemistry with Sterling, whose Polly is given a subplot about being allergic to Rhubarb, but comes across as just a genuinely nice person.

The sweetest subplot involves the baseball players having a change of heart about their new “owner.” At first, the players all pretend to be injured so as not to be mocked by the other teams (and the umpires!). There’s a long, funny, and cute sequence where Eric brings Rhubarb to the club house and gets the players competitive about who Rhubarb likes the most. Later, in a game, they all tentatively approach the prickly feline hoping that he will let them pet him, as they’ve decided it’s good luck.

The funniest part of the film for me was a running joke about how frustrating it is for Polly to try and watch the games on the television. The announcer apologetically explains that they have to play ads from their sponsor, leading to a long and grating ad for a financing company. Polly sits impatiently through the hilariously long and drawn out jingle at the end of the ad (“Just call on F . . . . F . . . . C!”). It’s a joke that still feels relevant, and I genuinely laughed out loud at the parody ad and the broadcaster’s thinly veiled acknowledgement of its ridiculousness.

There isn’t a whole lot here in terms of character development---not that the film requires that--and the character of Myra is pretty thin. She basically serves as a mechanism to keep challenging Eric and Rhubarb with petty schemes, like taking the cat to court or trying to convince some shady bookies to kidnap the cat. Holmes doesn’t get to do much aside from sneer and be miserable, but her over-the-top character fits well in the tone of the film.

There’s nothing deep here, but I found it fun and engaging from beginning to end. Bonus points for the quirky touch that Rhubarb has a penchant for stealing golf balls from the golf course, as it’s an accurately quirky/malevolent cat-like thing to do.

The Sword and the Sorcerer, 1982

The wicked Titus (Richard Lynch) and his right hand man Machelli (George Maharis) raise an evil sorcerer named Xusia (Richard Moll) so that Titus can conquer nearby kingdoms. Successfully toppling his neighbors, Titus makes two enemies when he betrays Xusia and kills the family of young Prince Talon (Lee Horsley). Talon later returns as an adult, grudgingly getting involved in a rebellion to overthrow Titus led by Princess Alana (Kathleen Beller) and her brother Mikah (Simon MacCorkindale).

Despite some appealing moments of chaotic imagination, this one ultimately lands on the wrong side of dumb.

There were quite a few moments in this movie that made me want to love it. The evil sorcerer, Xusia, walking around dressed in a way that’s supposed to be medieval but instead looks like someone’s grandmother on her way down to the shops. An action sequence where suddenly the background goes a vivid red and the characters become dark figures against the striking background. A would-be rapist gets pushed face first into a wall to a sound effect that can only be written as DOINK!

Yes, this movie had all the elements of feel good, stupid fun. Unfortunately, those elements are more than outweighed by the exploitative tone and lackluster plot.

When conversations around fantasy and D&D subcultures get around to why women are pushed out of those spaces---or have been in the past---the content of this movie is like Exhibit A for why. There’s obviously the use of anonymous female bodies as set dressing (including one long pan of a random, unnamed woman’s naked body for absolutely no reason aside from, hey, have a look at this naked body). It seems that everywhere you turn in this mystical kingdom, five topless women are probably waiting behind almost every door! But beyond the objectification, there’s the film’s approval of some really unsavory behavior on the part of the main character. After saving Alana from being raped, it takes Talon about 5 minutes before he finds a way to force her into agreeing to have sex with him. If someone agrees to have sex with you so that their family won’t be killed, that’s not really consent. But the character doesn’t see to care about this distinction, and neither does the film. (Don’t worry, when the main character does “complete the contract” with Alane, he very subtly lets his whole crew know so that they can literally clap for him.)

The frustrating part here isn’t just the main character being a sexual predator---he gropes and kisses a lot of women in this film without permission, but it’s a fantasy movie, so they all love it!--it’s the way that this whole arc of treating Alana as a sexual prize renders her character really flat. This is tragic because I found Beller to be the most interesting and charismatic actor in this whole movie, and something like 90% of her scenes just involve being threatened with rape and looking scared and/or defiant.

In fact, there are a lot of missed opportunities for character development or fun subplots. There are a few scenes where we see how unhinged and paranoid Titus has become worrying about Xusia returning for revenge. He rants about how the sorcerer can disguise himself as anyone, and so he must stay vigilant and keep an eye out for someone with a “look of a snake” in their face. More of insane Titus, please!

But the worst offense here is how thoroughly underwhelming Talon is as a main character and how limp the whole rebellion subplot is. These people are . . . not good at rebelling. For most of the film, everything they try lands them in the dungeon. Then they escape. Then they end up back in the dungeon. If there was more visual flair on display, the plot wouldn’t have mattered so much. But instead we get seemingly endless conversations that go in circles. The last action sequence do spice things up a bit, but when you get to the ultimate resolution the main feeling is, “okay, sure.”

You’re too good for these guys, Alana. You’re too good for all of them!

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, 2018

Lara Jean (Lana Condor) loves the idea of romance, but finds the reality a bit intimidating. When her older sister, Margot (Janel Parrish) movies overseas to go to college, Lara Jean must come to terms with the crush she has on Margot’s boyfriend, Josh (Israel Brussard). As she always has done with crushes, Lara Jean copes with her emotions by writing a love letter to Josh and then adding it to a secret box of such letters. But when Lara Jean’s letters get mysteriously sent to all of her former (and current!) crushes, she must deal with the fallout, including being part of a fake relationship with former crush Peter (Noah Centineo).

Funny, full of heart, and empathetic to all of its teenage characters, this teen rom-com is a winner.

There’s something a bit magical about the way that this film weaves wacky premises and scenarios in with very real teenage dynamics and social pressures. It gives the film permission to be silly, while at the same time keeping itself grounded in the reality for many teenagers. Take a very fantasy sequence where Lara Jean and Peter have a deep conversation that eventually leads to Lara Jean wading into a hot tub in her lacy nightgown for a sweet makeout session. Very “only in the movies.” Except that a classmate has taken footage of the event and posts it to Instagram. Shattered, Lara Jean eventually turns to her sister for help, who then helps her contact Instagram to have the post removed. (Does this fully make the footage go away? Nope.) This feels cinematic and realistic in a very appealing way.

Holding the center of the film in a wonderful way is Condor. Her Lara Jean is determined yet vulnerable. She’s a protagonist who makes mistakes and sometimes acts in selfish ways, but is receptive to learning and growing as a person. In a scene that’s, again, very “movie-ish”, Lara Jean runs into Peter and then plants a long kiss on him to deter another guy who got one of her letters from approaching her. When Peter and Lara Jean are hashing out the boundaries of their fake relationship and she says she doesn’t want kissing to be part of it, Peter (nicely, but firmly) calls out the fact that Lara Jean kissed him without permission. Lara Jean is operating in a social system where there is hypocrisy that runs both ways, but the film doesn’t hesitate to call her out when she is making sexist assumptions.

The supporting cast is also very good and very funny. While I thought that she was written a bit too sassy, Anna Cathcart has some solid line deliveries as Lara Jean’s little sister, Kitty. John Corbett brings warmth and an adult presence as Lara Jean’s single dad. A scene where he tries to give her “the talk” before she heads out for an overnight ski trip, culminating in handing her a manilla envelope full of condoms made me laugh out loud.

Overall I just really loved the empathy that this film had for its characters. These are kids trying to figure things out, and they all have their own (non-romantic) issues that they’re dealing with. The movie uses Lara Jean’s romance-novel-derived ideas about love to probe the challenges of being in a real relationship, and specifically the challenge of finding a way to trust a person with your emotions because of how that trust makes you vulnerable.

This is probably one of my favorite teen rom-coms that I’ve seen in the last decade. Just very sweet and funny.

When the Wind Blows, 1986

Elderly couple Jim (John Mills) and Hilda (Peggy Ashcroft) follow government directions to prepare for an imminent nuclear attack. When the bomb drops, the couple survives, sheltering behind their detached doors. But in the days following the attack, the couple begins to experience the consequences of radiation exposure, unable to comprehend that this is nothing like their experiences during WW2.

Bleak, bleak, bleak.

It doesn’t take long for the relentless British cheeriness of Jim and Hilda to become incredibly macabre. The easy temptation is to fall into a sort of contempt for these people, with their naivete and blind faith in their government and the social systems that have always surrounded them. (Hilda repeatedly cannot conceive of the idea that the local shop won’t be open). I think that you might look at this film and scoff at their stupidity, but I would say that stupidity isn’t what we’re seeing: it’s denial.

Let’s assume that Jim and Hilda were incredibly astute: what are they supposed to do? Is there a way that they would have come out better if they exactly understood the nature of what was happening to them? Morbidly, I think that pre-emptive suicide is basically the only “solution” that presents itself. These rural, elderly citizens are in no position to prevent nuclear war, and neither do they have the resources to even hope to survive it.

The denial about what is happening to them is the most painful part to watch. An increasingly perturbed Jim tries to chalk Hilda’s bleeding gums up to the shock from the dropping of the bomb. They repeatedly remind each other about their son’s common sense, not wanting to consider the idea that their child (and daughter-in-law, and grandchildren) might be dead.

It’s all helpless and hopeless, and I couldn’t help but think of the people right now, in this moment, who are living through fear and trauma and pain and death that is none of their doing, and that they are powerless to escape.

The animation style is very effective. While most of the film is hand-drawn, with soft and round figures, many shots show real-world footage, and sometimes real settings in which the characters are placed. The contrast of a real trashed kitchen with the doll-like figures of Bill and Hilda highlights their innocence in the face of the horror of war.

One element of the film reminded me of something I read in an article about climate change. Basically, people vastly underestimate the severity and overestimate their ability to cope with challenges they haven’t faced before. The couple assumes that their experience will be like the Blitz, and approach their preparations with something bordering on nostalgia. As they create a little tent of dismantled doors and grouse over how to take care of bathrooming needs, the sense of dread builds because they have no idea what they are up against.

Devastating, which is exactly its intention.

When the Wind Blows is one of those films I've been wanting to see my entire life but haven't yet. The graphic novel was in our school library and it fascinated me. I've seen the music video for David Bowie's "When the Wind Blows" multiple times. I'll have to seek it out.

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I will say two things:

1) At least it is short.

2) You basically know what's coming. So it's really sad, but not with shocks, if that makes sense.

The Sword and the Sorcerer sucks. I think the nudity, which is obviously gratuitous, was probably the most memorable thing about it.

For me, Xusia's struggling fashion sense is this movie's enduring legacy. Like someone's exhausted hippie grandmother.

He’s gotta be careful not to show too much skin, lest he gets assaulted mystically for it.

If this movie featured Talon bursting through a door, only to fall sexily into a half-dressed Xusia cavorting by a shallow indoor pool, I would have given it .

Cyborg is the best, k thnx bye.

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Royal Warriors, 1986

Michelle Yip (Michelle Yeoh) is a tenacious detective with the Hong Kong police. Returning from a vacation to Japan, she gets involved in stopping an attempt by some bad guys to free a criminal who is being escorted on the plane. During this showdown, she befriends air security officer Michael Wong (Michael Wong) and Japanese policeman Peter Yamamoto (Hiroyuki Sanada). Unfortunately, due to the fallout from the foiled escape attempt, all three peace officers find themselves the target of vengeful gangsters and must figure out the identities of the men who are hunting them.

Full of thrilling action sequences and surprisingly poignant drama, this martial arts thriller is a winner.

For me, Michelle Yeoh is just one of those endlessly watchable people. I think that her range is incredible, as is her athleticism and grace. This film is a great vehicle for all of her talents, as she deftly handles both the emotional sides of the story and the multiple action sequences.

Just like another Yeoh film, Yes, Madam, this one adds interest by subverting the expected dynamics. What seems like an obvious set-up for a love triangle never turns out that way. (Now, someone with more understanding of the international politics can tell me if that’s a choice born out of audiences not being receptive to a romance between Yeoh and Sanada, or just what the writers chose to do.) Yamamoto has a wife and family, and it’s only Michael who ends up pursuing Michelle.

What really works in this film is the easy charisma and chemistry of the three actors. They each have distinct personalities and styles when it comes to the actions sequences, and yet they just make sense together. It takes just that opening airplane sequence to see how easily the arc of friendliness turns to loyalty, which then turns to love (mainly platonic) for these characters, something that is reinforced through the rest of the dramatic and action sequences.

A lot of action movies only manage one or two memorable setpieces, but this film has a solid hat trick: the sequence on the airplane, a gnarly shootout at a nightclub, and an epic showdown at an (abandoned?) quarry that involves an armored truck and lots of rickety tin and wood buildings just waiting to be smashed or blown up.

There are also two different dramatic plot turns---one that you may see coming, one that took me totally by surprise---that up the emotional ante as the film goes on. What begins as professional interest in taking out some bad guys morphs into an increasingly personal and emotional tale of survival and revenge. As with all great villains, the ruthless mobsters in this film knowingly leverage the characters’ empathy, love, and loyalty in order to hurt and ensnare them. Scenes that would have come across as a bit silly or overly outlandish carry a decent heft because of the way that we come to be invested in the characters and can see that they are invested in each other.

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Welcome back

Thanks!

Time to update the film challenge btw.
Also, I’m sure you’re waaaaay behind on your reviews.