Reporter, I totally appreciate your points and agree with you.
The last thing I want to do is ruin things for others. Sure, I want to belong... doesn't everybody? We all want to share in the community... be a part of it... nobody enjoys being excluded or alienated. Sure, I'm grateful for not being banned (thus far)... though I wonder... if I hadn't made a big noise about some of the things I believe in in the past, would I still be a part of MoFo still?
Basically, the fact is that the MoFo admin wants me out of here, and they have said so in no uncertain terms. Believe me, I'm not trying to call unwarranted attention to myself when I say this. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing... I mean, I ask myself, why bother? I mean, why should I give a damn? But then I think to myself, it's the principle of the thing. And because of the high visibility of an online forum, I think I have an obligation to stand up for my beliefs, or risk being branded a coward and an outcast in society at large.
The FACT is that I have been at the butt end of some pretty nasty manipulation engaged in by the people in control of this forum. Because of the socio-political views I have expressed in here, combined with my ethnic origins and the fact that I am a successful contributing member of society, I have been subjected to unwarranted harrassment and public ridicule. My name has been ruthlessly tarnished as a result of my association with this forum... and not just my user name--my real name.
Ask yourself--what do I, a successful professional, have to gain by causing problems in a movie forum like this one? Absolutely nothing at all! Why would I bother? I lead a full life--why should I spend my time wreaking havoc at large?
Basically, I came on the forum because I saw in here an opportunity to express myself truthfully and honestly--to vent, if you will. Maybe, in the process, I tread on some toes and offended some people... but, for the most part, I have said things that I felt NEEDED TO BE SAID... by SOMEONE... if not me... I mean, I figured, if I didn't say these things, who would? For the most part, I have refrained from profanity or obscenity, though, I admit, sometimes, I blew my top and said some things I regret having said.
But as a result of the things I have said in the past, I have been continually subjected to any number of ongoing attempts to undermine and destroy my credibility from a faction of MoFoers who seem to exercise admin privileges in here. Sure, it's no big deal... I mean, why don't I forget about it and move on? BUT... it's the principle of the thing. I have realized that if I call it quits in MoFo, it means abandoning the things I have stood for in here. That's something I can't readily do.
Basically, because, in the past, I have challenged Yoda to ban me and, thereby, prove that in order to participate in this forum, you have to agree with him on some level, Yoda has refrained from banning me. I appreciate that much... it shows that Yoda has some level of integrity. However, what he has been trying to do since then... if not him alone then the group of MoFoers who seem to wield some "authority" in here (though that's a pretty weird choice of words for a Movie Forum)--what they have been trying to do is force me to leave voluntarily and, so, abandon the things I stand for in here.
And the way they've been undermining my credibility is to convince people that everyone hates me--by stigmatizing me in a number of ways:
a) Initially Silver Bullet started editing my posts in an attempt to ridicule me.
b) Yoda began to routinely disrupt my (usually popular and successful) threads of discussion by raising all sorts of irrelevant issues of discussion and challenging everything thing I said in a totally petty manner, as if he was engaged in a deliberate campaign to undermine my credibility.
c) After that, as if to mock a poll of my own, Yoda started a number of polls designed to make me look foolish and unpopular. He also exploited some things I posted by taking them out of context in an attempt to make me even more unpopular. When I protested in threads of my own, my threads were deleted or edited behind my back.
d) When I blew my top at one stage and suggested that Yoda should be fired for the sorts of tactics he had engaged in, using pretty strong language, I admit, I was accused of arranging a coup-d'etat in here!
e) When I tried to wisecrack my way out of a nasty situation, I am accused of being disruptive and calling unwarranted attention to myself.
f) When I protest the repeatedly obvious racist and biased inclinations of the MoFo "authorities" (i.e. those who exercise admin privileges in MoFo), I am accused of "playing the race card".
g) Everything I say is subjected to the most insane deconstructionist cross-examination--similar to an inquisition.
h) The popularity indicator point system, which, I submit, is flagrantly biased or rigged or open to abuse, and has turned into the most absurd means of alienating me from the forum, by making me look unpopular and hated... why am I the only person in the entire forum who happens to have negative points in my popularity indicator? I get along just fine with most people in real life... obviously this system stinks.
i) Now, at the incitement of Lord Slaytan, a group of MoFoers have placed me on their ignore list... which is fine by me, actually, because that means I can now have my say in the public light without being challenged repeatedly over every petty triviality and without having strangers raise personal issues about me.
j) Caitlyn... in no way did I say what I did about her simply to be disruptive... that was the last thing on my mind. The fact is that, in the past, I have had a great deal of respect for Caitlyn... she seemed to be a very deep, intelligent human being with a lot of fine things to say. But she has also done more than her share of snide undercutting of me... most of which I have graciously borne. But it finally got to me... and I told her what I think of her to her face. Sorry to offend, but, in the light of what I have gone through at her hands as well as at the hands of many other MoFoers, I think she deserves it. Still, I have respect for her... I'm just troubled by her attitude at times. Again, the last thing I want to do is to be obnoxious.
Anyway, to summarize... the only reason I hang around MoFo... a lot less regularly than before... is that I feel compelled to stand by things I have said in the past, especially in a politically sensitive period of time in America as this one is. If I take off and leave, which I could easily do and would gladly do, frankly, because MoFo is adding nothing to my comfort or happiness, I am afraid that it will seem as if I am abandoning my position out of cowardice. That, in fact, is what the MoFo admin wants me to do... that's the reason they have subjected me to all this humiliation and ridicule in the past. But the reason I stick on is to stand by my words as long as they matter. When they cease to matter, I'll be long gone! Of course Yoda can ban me... but in doing so, he would only be compromising his own credibility. So he sees fit to let me hang around and, instead, secretly go about undermining my own credibility by various means.
Reporter, I appreciate your words now and in the past... but I hope you can place yourself in my position. Do you think I enjoy sticking around in a "community" where everyone seemingly hates my guts? Why should I bother? The only reason I do is because of the high visibility of this forum and because I want to hang around as long as my opinions matter. When they cease to matter, I will leave.
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I'm willing to bet that I'll be the one beating the friggin' crap out of you... but that said, like I said before, I shun violence, as a rule, and prefer to play racquetball instead. If you have a gripe with me, I'm more than willing to devastate you on the racquetball courts!
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