The MoFo Top 100 of the Nineties

I would like to comment to your post with a lot of quotes and stuff, but I just don't think it will matter. I don't really want to, actually, because deep in my heart I really don't care. It was my humanity taking over, that wanted me to be right so badly and wanted me to discuss and tried to show Vicky that I was right. The truth is that I don't know anything at all about anything at all.

I will tell you this in all honesty:

I acknowledge the fact that practically everything of what I said, was own perception. I certainly have not studied the subject and honestly everything I said in the whole discussion was probably complete BS objectively. I was so much into my own opinion that I was trying to convince myself that what I was saying was completely true and nothing else is. I was narrowing my own mind to make my point come over as believable as possible. It is something a lot of people do and I notice it a lot. Probably you people now have the same reaction to my former statements as I sometimes have in other situations where I tend to actually know something about (not that I really know something about anything). I'm just a simple person who sometimes thinks he's more than that, but it's this kind of discussions that make me realize that I'm actually just one of the many stupid others out there.
This is probably the weakest thing a person can do in a discussion, but I just wanted to say this. I'm sick of defending my own stupidity and my own fake morality.

The truth is:

I really don't care about the cat in the picture. I have no inner feeling telling me that it's wrong. I'm a very indifferent person. Can you judge me? Of course you can. You can even hate me for it. I'm saying it as it is:
I don't care about the cat at all. I also don't care about seeing someone getting killed in a video. I don't feel anything and I can't do anything about it. Actually, to be honest, I never felt anything about anything in my whole life. It's quite depressing really. I would NEVER kill anyone myself, but I just don't care about it when it happens and it doesn't affect me. The only thing I actually care about is my own world and what affects me. It's extremely rotten to say this and my god, I don't really know why I'm saying this here, but it's just true. Excuse me for what I actually feel. I can't help it, I wish I could.

I admire people who are not like me and who can feel more for people/animals that they don't know.

Why was I defending the dog then? Simply because I like dogs and because I imagined myself in the situation of the dog's boss. There's nothing rational about it. My own person really doesn't care what happened. I just don't want it to happen to me ever and that's why I'm saying it is wrong. Do I really care myself? Na-ah.

Probably you've read my post until now, because what I wrote is so shocking and because it's so unbelievable, but it's all true.

You might describe me as egocentric. That would probably be the right word to describe me. I'm indifferent to pretty much everything else. Is it dangerous? I don't think so. In my opinion the universe is indifferent (that's what I think, not hope), so my indifference won't make a lot of difference.

I want to believe there is something more than just all this indifference and I hope one day I really believe in it, but right now, in this phase of my life, I just can't see the light. There is no overruling morality, there is just nothing. It makes me cynical, it makes me not care about anything. It's just me right now. Is it insanity? I don't know.

I'm 19 years old and most of you are a lot older than me. I'm happy to see that you are all thinking differently than me now. I hope I will someday reach your level of awareness. It might add some color to my very gray existence that I have right now.

I don't even know why the hell I'm typing this all out on a movie forum that I really enjoy, but it's 5:53 AM and I just don't care anymore. Most of you will probably think I'm crazy now. Maybe I am.

It's funny how a small, moral discussion about a cat makes me realize my own inner emptiness and rotenness. I actually realized it already but I just wanted to out it, because Sleezy made some very valid condemnations.

I'm not going to read back what I just wrote. I hope I didn't offend anyone and there are probably some very shocking and controversial things in it that I wish I hadn't said, but this are my really honest thoughts right at this moment.

I guess this whole text could be seen as looking for attention. It's actually really really sad what I'm doing here, because people should keep their thoughts to themselves, but this is just an internet forum and nobody knows who I am, so what the hell. I'm already judging myself for all this.
Unnecessary.

Here is a song that expresses my feelings very well:



Yours truly,

Cobpyth


PS: this is probably the wrongest topic ever for a deep confession about the inner feelings, but I just went for it. You only live once.

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Cobpyth's Movie Log ~ 2019

I really appreciate it and think it's a brave step. I cherish honesty combined with humility.

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It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
My IMDb page

It is a very brave thing to say and I appreciate you doing it.

I think we all have feelings of apathy in situations where we shouldn't and we all feel more strongly about issues that either affect us directly or that we can relate to on some level.

I often find myself feeling apathy to a lot of instances of human suffering. Especially when it's overseas or it's something accidental. Not that I'd feel the same if I were an actual witness to the suffering - seeing it with my own eyes instead of through a television or computer screen - but if it's not happening at home and it's not a deliberate act of terrorism or cruelty, it can be hard for me to muster emotion about it.

I think plenty of us also fall into that trap of defending an opinion to the bitter end because we want to be right even when we see that the evidence suggests otherwise. I don't doubt or deny that I've done that too from time to time.

It's very big of you to say all this and hope that someday you'll find a way to break through the apathy and care about issues that don't affect you directly. But then, you're only 19, you've got plenty of time for that to happen.

P.S. The +rep I just gave you was not an accident.

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Do you feel any strong emotion for characters in your favorite movies? What I mean is do you ever cry or even get sad during a film you're watching.

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Cobpyth, shut the hell up and quit your crying on a public forum with that deranged Beach Boys song at the end of your post. Good lord, it's like American Psycho all up in here. And so early, too - right before the start of the Nineties Countdown. Cobpyth, only I am allowed to get this kind of crazy attention, okay? You don't wanna end up like me so shut the hell up.

Yes, I can. It' like Miss Vicky says in the beginning of her post:

"I think we all have feelings of apathy in situations where we shouldn't and we all feel more strongly about issues that either affect us directly or that we can relate to on some level."

My favorite films all have characters that I relate to on some level or that reflect a certain absence of morality and a strong presence of weakness. Not because I like that or want it to be like that, but because I can relate to it.

Casablanca - Rick Blaine is probably my favorite movie character of all time. He is one of those characters I look up to, because at the end of the film he does something so big and pure that I can't help but be emotional about it. I guess his situation is quite relatable for most people at some time in their lives, but the way he handles it is so perfect and enlightening to me that he has become some sort of symbol to me. In the beginning we see his cynical self and his lack of morality, which is probably most of the times me and my thoughts right now, but in the end he is what I actually want to be one day. He reaches 'the point'.

Chinatown - J.J. Gittes is a whole different kind of character. He actually gets confronted with the dishonesty and the immorality of his surroundings (and himself). He's a character that suffers because of it and discovers his own incapacity to do something about it, which I very much can relate with.

Citizen Kane - Charles Foster Kane is on a superficial level probably the model of the 'American Dream'. Still he misses purity and something 'higher' during his whole life, despite having the biggest castle and a lot of power. It's again very relatable to me how frustrated he gets with reality. At the end of his life he wants to go back to his carefree youth ('Rosebud' is the perfect symbol for that) where he didn't realise the nihilism of everything there is and of who he has become.


I could go on about my other favorite films and how the characters in those films affect me because of some other relatable reasons, but I guess this pretty much explains why I love certain films and stories so much. It's nice to know that other people have the same struggles as I have and if it's portrayed in a beautiful and believable atmosphere like some of my very favorites, it can have a very big effect on me. In the case of Casablanca even a certain feeling of 'hope'.

To stay with the 90s:
The fact that I really like films like, for example The Player or Crimes and Misdemeanors (I know that's an 80s film), is because they look at life from a whole new, maybe forbidden, cynical point of view. They actually show some sort of advantages of the immorality of life, while still criticizing it in a way I very much enjoy. I don't particularly like the characters in those films, but in some twisted way they reach something in a very forbidden way without being judged by it by some sort of higher force. It's frightening and intriguing at the same time for me. That kind of stuff, if done properly, can tickle me very deeply.

Thanks, by the way, Mark F and Miss Vicky for your very kind reactions. It gives me a very nice feeling on this sunny afternoon to see that some people actually read my incoherent personal outings at night and are telling me it's alright to feel that way sometimes, even if it's not 'right' (quite a paradox, but I hope you know what I mean). I really appreciate that a lot.

Sexy, somehow I was also pretty happy to read your reaction. In some weird kind of way I deduced from it that I could get away with this kind of emotional post this one single time.

I'll echo that; it was a brave thing to post.

I think the fact that you can sit outside yourself and disapprove, and want to be different, is significant. There's an old observation that even when we despise ourselves we respect ourselves as one who despises. As long as we retain the capacity to be dissatisfied with ourselves, there's hope.

Being a little indifferent isn't the end of the world. *****, there's hundreds of people dying on a daily basis every day in Syria, and I'm positive lots and lots of members here - including myself - don't even pause a great deal of times to think about the horrors going on over there. Just as long as you're not indifferent to your loved ones and friends. It's one thing not caring about some cat (it's an animal for christ's sakes); another thing entirely to just go 'meh' when your grandmother dies.

Lighten up, pal. Go get smashed and hit on some girls. Or whatever that floats your boat.

When my grandmother died when I was 11 I laughed because my aunts were crying in a rather melodramatic style that felt funny to my 11 year old self.

Anyway, I tend to identify the most with very moral characters in movies (I identify the most with politically correct characters). I tend to not identify very much characters that don't respect the rights of others (like Joe Pesci's character in Goodfellas).

Brod's in trouble. Here we go again.

I wanna hear more from Cobpyth the Psychopath. Tell us more about your lack of feelings. Make it lengthy and include more Beach Boys songs. Forget what I said about shutting up -- that was another person talking.

Oh God now I feel your pain. I hope enough of you lot voted for Eyes Wide Shut to get it on here.

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"Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."

Tell us what #100 is.

Um, no.

It's gonna be top 50 for sure, top 25 might be a strech, but it's possible.

I gave about 10 points to Eyes Wide Shut. A movie needs about 40 points to make into the top 100. I guess it might make even 100 points or more.

Eyes Wide Shut will be on the list. I promise.

I sure hope so.