Your Thoughts on Kids & Parenting

There are a couple things I am curious to know about when it comes to this subject...answer any of the following questions, if you'd like to parttake in the topic

1) Do you want to be a parent someday? Why/why not?

2) If you already are, was it planned, or did it kind of just happen?

3) What are/will be some of the most important values & morals you want to teach your children?

4) How many children do you want to have?

5) How will you look upon the responsibilty of raising your children? An adventure? A duty?

6) If you already have grown children, if given the chance, would you go back and do it all over again just for the hell of it?

7) Have you always felt the same way about this subject, or did your feelings change at some point in your life? If so, how/why?

8) What would/did you most look forward to when you have/had your own children? What do you least look foward to?

Just wanted to get the ball rolling on this subject...its something I'm interested in.

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letterboxd

Oh my gosh, how scary, I was about to post a thread on almost the exact same topic!!!!!

1) Do you want to be a parent someday? Why/why not?

Yes, and soon! Because! How boring to have a life without having kids! What do you focus on? Work? No way! I have always wanted kids.

3) What are/will be some of the most important values & morals you want to teach your children?

Basic politeness (sooo many kids don't have that). That families are good. Not to be prejudiced against people of different genders, races or sexual orientation. And to like rock music.

4) How many children do you want to have?

4

5) How will you look upon the responsibilty of raising your children? An adventure? A duty?

Yes

7) Have you always felt the same way about this subject, or did your feelings change at some point in your life? If so, how/why?

Always felt the same. I want lots of kids, looking forward to it.

8) What would/did you most look forward to when you have/had your own children? What do you least look foward to?

Most: teaching kids stuff like reading, taking them to the park etc. Least: giving birth

How about you, ash?

The only question I can really answer is the first one.....

1) Do you want to be a parent someday? Why/why not?

A definate not. I don't like kids. Don't hate them I just can't stand them sometimes. They can be little so and so's. Besides I have lots of things I would want to do with my life and children would prevent that. When I look at my future I don't see them. I have no motherly urge to have them and frankly the whole idea is off-putting in the extreme. What with the whole pregnancy and birth process plus the lifetime obligation you have to raise them. I frankly would hate it.

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1) Do you want to be a parent someday? Why/why not?

I used to dream of it, like many little girls I guess. I am less fond of the idea now as I just imagine there are enough messed up kids out there. I would consider adopting before having my own.

2) If you already are, was it planned, or did it kind of just happen?

3) What are/will be some of the most important values & morals you want to teach your children?

I would teach them that its alright to colour outside of the lines....that its alright that their drawings of people look like green baboons from outer space....that you should have respect for living things, including other humans, even though you want to bite them or throw your diaper at them...love and that I would love them no matter what, without having to buy them a toy truck or the latest barbie to show it.

4) How many children do you want to have? God knows.

5) How will you look upon the responsibilty of raising your children? An adventure? A duty?

A responsibility that I would hopefully choose to fulfil to the best of my ability...as if that would be possible.

6) If you already have grown children, if given the chance, would you go back and do it all over again just for the hell of it?

7) Have you always felt the same way about this subject, or did your feelings change at some point in your life? If so, how/why?

Reality sunk in. I realised that having a kid would be more than bottle feeding a plastic doll that peed whenever you squeezed her belly.

8) What would/did you most look forward to when you have/had your own children? What do you least look foward to?

I would imagine I would look forward to the smiles. I would least look forward to seeing them hurting over something, I wouldnt know how to cope with that.

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1) Do you want to be a parent someday? Why/why not?

Not just yet! I've got a lot more living to do first.

3) What are/will be some of the most important values & morals you want to teach your children?

Live every day for today.

4) How many children do you want to have?

2-3

5) How will you look upon the responsibilty of raising your children? An adventure? A duty?

A duty really


7) Have you always felt the same way about this subject, or did your feelings change at some point in your life? If so, how/why?

Not really.

8) What would/did you most look forward to when you have/had your own children? What do you least look foward to?

I'd look forward to taking them to Huddersfield Town games maybe, and I definitely wouldn't look forward to changing nappies.

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1) Do you want to be a parent someday? Why/why not?
I think that it is a blessing to be a parent and would be honoured to be a mother, biological or not. My mother was unable to have children after my sister was born. She always wanted many children, her parenting is impeccable. She has strong morals and has instilled them in us.

3) What are/will be some of the most important values & morals you want to teach your children?
My mother taught us, "treat others as you would like to be treated Not because they diserve it but because you diserve it." this is something that I would want my children to live by. I want for my children to know that they can conquer mountains. I would like for them to know the value of Love as opposed to Money. My children will understand the importance in prayer, and that no matter how hard life gets there always hope.

4) How many children do you want to have?
I always thought that 2 children would be suffice, though I think that I want 4, at different ages also I would love to adopt.

5) How will you look upon the responsibilty of raising your children? An adventure? A duty?
As I said earlier parenting is a blessing so as an adventure, it would be a learning experience.

7) Have you always felt the same way about this subject, or did your feelings change at some point in your life? If so, how/why?
Hell no!! I used to be very angry I had a very hard childhood. I didnt think that I was strong enough to go through the trials my mother had. I was afraid of all the things that had happend to me and not being able to handle anything like that for my child. I was afraid that I would fail as a parent and thus end up F*kcn up a childs life. How did this change?? I found real love, I was able to find where my heartaches were fed and learned forgiveness. The ultimate forgiveness is the one that you give yourself. This is where I was able to see myself as I truely am.

8) What would/did you most look forward to when you have/had your own children? What do you least look foward to?
I look forward to their first real smile,the first real tears, the first scratched knee, the first skateboard(they will have one!!) and their first love. The things I least look forward to is the first heartache, the first disappointment that I will feel thinking that somehow I failed my child, that somehow I let them down.
I can only pray that I will make my father proud.

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one cannot live without the other...
Ive tried and realized, theres something about you, something about your ways.... mwah

1) Do you want to be a parent someday? Why/why not?

It was never one of my life goals, but someone's gotta do it.

2) If you already are, was it planned, or did it kind of just happen?

The first one was kinda planned, the second was less so.

3) What are/will be some of the most important values & morals you want to teach your children?

Respect. I think if that one's nailed down you're doing well.

4) How many children do you want to have?

We always talked about having three. One of each, ye know?

5) How will you look upon the responsibilty of raising your children? An adventure? A duty?

Hard question, seeing as I'm raising mine by proxy thesedays.

6) If you already have grown children, if given the chance, would you go back and do it all over again just for the hell of it?

No chance. I'm the one who needs looking after thesedays...

7) Have you always felt the same way about this subject, or did your feelings change at some point in your life? If so, how/why?

That would involve a deep look into my psyche. The former Mrs T would be better placed to answer that one.

8) What would/did you most look forward to when you have/had your own children? What do you least look foward to?

In all seriousness, I'd like it if they remembered who I am when they're 16. I least look forward to them not remembering.

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"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how the Tatty 100 is done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." - Brendan Behan

Hmm...I'm kind of going 50/50 with you on this one...because yes, I agree with you to an extent about life being boring with no drive without children, but I do know a few people that are happily into their career's. But in the end, I think most probably would feel a deep sense of regret not having children in their life...especially when they get older.

But on the other hand, I don't think focusing on your work, if you can actually find something thats just right for you, is necessarily a bad thing...or anything thats right for you even! I just think its hard to find something that can keep you that satisified for that long...and I think at the end of your long day, you'll realize so.

do you think its important to press your own beliefs onto your children, or to let them be open to everything so they can decide what they believe in themselves...?

Wo. Tacitus is a Dad. Wo. Didn't see that one.

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really? he doesn't give you that "old man smelling like cigars and peppermint" vibe?

i love you Tatty! don't hurt me!

Yes, ash what are your answers to your questions? I mean you took the time to compile a list. Had you given your own answers much thought? curious...

Marlboros and curry more like...

I'm probably more likely to adopt or foster kids than have my own. It just feels right.

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"When I was younger, I always wanted to be somebody. Now that I'm older, I realise I should've been more specific."

1) Do you want to be a parent someday? Why/why not?

Depends on the kids...

3) What are/will be some of the most important values & morals you want to teach your children?

Honesty, integrity, how to honor themselves and others. And not to take life too seriously.

4) How many children do you want to have?

I don't have a drive to procreate. I've known some kids that I'd have loved to be in their lives in a parental-sort of role, and have been, at times, and that is awesome. But I wouldn't bring a kid into the world on the off chance that I might one day wish I had.

5) How will you look upon the responsibilty of raising your children? An adventure? A duty?

The best metaphor for it that I've seen, I mean the one that I connected to despite not even having kids, is the roller-coaster in Parenthood.


7) Have you always felt the same way about this subject, or did your feelings change at some point in your life? If so, how/why?

When I was a teenager, I wanted a big family. But I married someone who I couldn't imagine being a father. So, that went out the window. It went pretty easily, though. I didn't play with dolls as a kid, except to make then pretty clothes and do their hair and makup, and make them do cool stuff. Never played with babydolls, and when I found out there were dolls that made messes in diapers, I decided the world was a crazy place.

8) What would/did you most look forward to when you have/had your own children? What do you least look foward to?

Seeing the world through new eyes is pretty cool. Watching a person find things they enjoy and learning to do them well. Encouraging someone in developing their interests would be a rewarding experience.

I'd probably be a mess when they hit those pivotal years - starting school, starting to date, finishing school, "first" this, "last" that. I hate "lasts". Also the phase they go through where they have to establish separateness would be tough after having a really dependent relationship.

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Review: Cabin in the Woods 8/10

I feel sort of stupid because I took the time to put this thread together and then forgot about it...so here I go, I'm going to finish responding to the questions.

see I am almost looking at this from a different angle then you...coming to realize that there are a lot of messed up kids out there almost makes me more eager to raise children of my own...because my head has cleared up so much these past couple years and I feel like I could do some good for the next generation...I know that sounds corny as hell, especially if you actually knew me, you'd think I was not the mother type at all...

I like the way you worded this, little Miss...and I think you pretty much named the most important, if not one of the only morals I think is worth teaching...having an utmost respect for all living things...but I may teach them its okay to bite...

how do you think you would handle being utterly responsible for another human being?...I myself, learned the rules on self-absorbtion late in life (not that I am old, but you know what I mean)...but having a child would excite me in the sense that it would be the first time I would sacrifice without thinking twice about it, (I got that sacrifice thing down pat now, but I usually have to think about it first... )

I'm not trying to sound like I actually think I know what I am talking about, but I can see you coping with the things you just described better than most...you seem insync with your feelings and the feelings of others...just try not to bite your kids 7th grade science teacher when they tell you your daughter "is a little snob" because she was purposely not hanging out with a certain person, but it was because you had told her she wasn't allowed and she was only listening to her mother...that happened to me once and the teacher thought I was just being a snob when I wouldn't, and my mother almost jumped over her desk and strangeled her...

I appreciate where you are coming from....I think it would be rather rewarding to be there for a few messed up kids who didnt have anyone there for them. I had good parents....I dont think we realise how messed up 'our kids' could become, i dont think they realised. i dont know if others have experienced similar, but there are minor things that my parents did or did not do that have had a big effect on me in my life and how I handle certain situations...that is alarming to say the least.


I do not fear spongy gums.

I understand what you are saying here...the apparent selflessness that comes with having a kid. The 'I would lay my life down for you'. It's funny Ashley, but I would sacrifice alot right now, I only think twice as I am not the only one affected by it.



If I become a parent, I will try to be the best parent I could be. But I know that in aspects of 'my childs' life, I will fail. As my parents failed me (which I dont hold against them).


This be the verse

They f**k you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were f**ked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

-Philip Larkin

1) Do you want to be a parent someday? Why/why not?

Yeah definately, I would love to feel the joy of having a small baby that I can care for and guide through life.

2) If you already are, was it planned, or did it kind of just happen?

I am not currently and would definately plan it out with my wife (who I haven't met yet ).

3) What are/will be some of the most important values & morals you want to teach your children?

Self-respect, integrity, loyalty and the joy of knowing God.

4) How many children do you want to have?

I would love to have 3 children.....but of course my wife would have a big say in that :P

5) How will you look upon the responsibilty of raising your children? An adventure? A duty?

I would see it as a blessing to raise children.

6) If you already have grown children, if given the chance, would you go back and do it all over again just for the hell of it?

can't answer that, no children as of yet.

7) Have you always felt the same way about this subject, or did your feelings change at some point in your life? If so, how/why?

I never really thought about it until I started running a youth group and experienced the sheer amazement at seeing people mature and grow up into the great men and women they were meant to me. So to see a child from birth grow and experience things for the first time and to have some part of that would be awesome.

8) What would/did you most look forward to when you have/had your own children? What do you least look foward to?

I would look forward to my children becoming independent and strong willed in their viewpoints; i would love to be able to argue/discuss with them. Also see them just to see them feel the freedom of being young, innocent faces and genuine smiles.

I least look forward to when they are teenagers when they shut themselves off from their parents a bit. I know i did/have and am still working at re-connecting to my Dad.

Cool Questions Ash

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Concert Tab!! MOFO poetry Been Dreaming Lately?

and finally...

1) Do you want to be a parent someday? Why/why not?

I am looking forward to it, when the time is right.

2) If you already are, was it planned, or did it kind of just happen?

Ideally, everyone would fully plan out the birth of their children. There are still quite a few things I know I want, or more like, need to do, before I am ready to reproduce. I look forward to it all...

3) What are/will be some of the most important values & morals you want to teach your children?

Kindess, respect for all. that there is no such thing as normal. that its okay to want to explore your body at that certain age (seriously). to take love seriously. that i will love them no matter what or who they become, but that doesn't mean they are always in the right. that every decision has a consequence. to stand on their own two feet, and never rely on anyone before they can rely on themself.

4) How many children do you want to have?

no more than two.

5) How will you look upon the responsibilty of raising your children? An adventure? A duty?

for the first year of my childs life, i don't want to miss a moment. i would want to set it up so that i could either have a job to work at while at home, or take time off. i want to be there for every little thing at first.

7) Have you always felt the same way about this subject, or did your feelings change at some point in your life? If so, how/why?

changed drastically. for all of my life, i never knew i wanted children. the thought of it almost disgusted me. i had no patience. kids grossed me out. pissed me off. hurt me in school. treated me like dirt.

sometime in the last couple years its changed, and i can't even pinpoint an actual reason as to why that is, except for what i have already said.

8) What would/did you most look forward to when you have/had your own children? What do you least look foward to?

i look forward to watching my children discover and learn new things; to see their self-esteem rise when they accomplish something. i don't look forward to seeing other people hurt them, which is bound to happen no matter what. i would want to strangle any person that deliberately hurt my children. i also don't look forward to the lack of respect that the majority of teenagers have. i hope to see my children grow and be open-minded.

1) Do you want to be a parent someday? Why/why not?
Oh yes! I want to be a mother because I see motherhood as the most splendid and rewarding job in the world. I think it to be fufilling in ways Betty Friedan and her money-making sisters know not, fufilling of the heart, at least my heart. I am not superbly gifted in any way-- I mean, I know I could do anything I wanted to really; but I feel that my scarce talents would best be used in helping the future, mainly my children. I want to raise such kids that they would grow up to be many more times as effective as I ever could be. I also want to be a mother because deep in my heart I have an ache for my own little ones, an odd desperate feeling.

3) What are/will be some of the most important values & morals you want to teach your children?
I want to instill in them a love for learning, but I also want to teach them prudence in knowledge. I want them to have good judgement and an understanding and respect for tradition.

4) How many children do you want to have?
5. Two boys, Three girls ideally, but I would be happy with whatever. Although, I do have the names picked out.

5) How will you look upon the responsibilty of raising your children? An adventure? A duty?
I will have a responsibility to make sure that my children are well fed, dressed and taken care of. I will have the duty to equip my children with the skills needed to take care of themselves. I will have a duty to teach them morals and virtue. It will be an adventure watching their personalities unfold. It will be an adventure telling them things that I myself have trouble grasping. And most of all it will be an adventure in creating a new life and taking charge of the weel being of that new life and then finally, releasing it into the world.

7) Have you always felt the same way about this subject, or did your feelings change at some point in your life? If so, how/why?
No. Not always. For a while there I never wanted to get married and never wanted to have children. But I sensed that a life like that would seem unbearably empty to me, and that I could do all the good in the world and I still wouldn't feel complete.

8) What would/did you most look forward to when you have/had your own children? What do you least look foward to?
I love children so much. I can't wait to decorate their rooms and watching them as babies. But I am most looking forward to the "discovery" age when they're so curious and eager to learn about the world around them. I am least looking forward ti the high school years because if my children are anything like me-- it's going to be absolutely horrible.

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I am moved by fancies that are curled
Around these images, and cling:
The notion of some infinitely gentle
Infinitely suffering thing.
T.S Eliot, "Preludes"

I never want to be a parent.

That is all.

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