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Pyro's Piss Poor Flixster Quickies

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The Goonies

Classic romp. Kids film that isn't childish and you can see up the girls skirt in most shots for added value.

The Illusionist

Shame they couldn't conjure an illusion to cover the predictable ending and lack of depth but otherwise pretty good; more satisfying than The Prestige.


If you can accept you're not going to laugh, then you can probably accept watching it....

Rush Hour 3

The final nail in Chan's coffin, after the embarassing wirework, the redundant CGI here is as good as Chan's dyed hair and facelifts. A nothing plot holds nothing together, flat humour, bad writing, horribly predictable twists that are beyond obviou...(read more)s and worst of all a complete lack of any kung fu from Chan. Steals shamelessly and directly from in-numerable superior sources, even it's predecessors. Nothing to recommend, worst film since the likes of 'Little Man'/'White Chicks' and Rob Schneider films.


Find it hard to believe this is only 500 years in the future, don't find it hard to understand why they had trouble marketing it to America. Good fun and another reason to laugh at the yanks.


Unfortunately it's a 'Hostel' knock-off, fortunately it's a lot better, despite the odd cliche.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend

For a trailer that looked like it gave the whole film away, turned out quite enjoyable. Good performances all round and some nice touches.

Surf's Up

An enjoyable CGI-er that doesn't rely on love story or dwell too much on sentiment compared to others. Liked the docu style it took and The Dude in CGI form.

Mr. Bean's Holiday

Not particularly amusing or original but the female lead is HOT.

I Know Who Killed Me

I don't care. Couldn't be bothered with more than 15mins.

Hard Boiled

An ogry of bullets and balletic violence that led Woo to sell his style overseas, to far lesser effect. This is THE seminal action film, surpassing even 'Die Hard'.

First Blood (Rambo: First Blood)

Great classic action that's held itself well over 25 years.


Cusack forced by room 1408 into commiting suicide, outcome- i wanted to kill msyelf first to stop watching this monotonous snoozer. King's short story should've been a short film.


Outlaw should be outlawed, what could have been a good film is wasted in it's own over confidence.

Rambo III

Rambo aids Arabs, takes out Russian army in a trench with a bow and arrow. **** em? **** me.

Rambo: First Blood Part II

Quality 80s action. Rambo takes on Russian army and Vietnamese, and wins. Some predictable cliches but fun nonetheless.

The Number 23


Blades of Glory

Has the odd funny bit but isn't anywhere near a classic that Anchorman is.

Requiem for a Dream

Great employment of editing, really effective downward spiral of addiction with some brilliant acting.

Donnie Darko

An excellent film with incredible plot. Some fine debuts and some great dialogue. A huanting masterpiece that should stay the cult film it was so the idiots who don't understand/appreciate it don't bother people who do

The Bird People in China

Despite Miike's name being synonymous with twisted depravity this really proves it all wrong and establishes him as a truly legendary director able to sucessfully turn his hand at any genre. Some beautiful poetic images are captured and a genuinely ...(read more)touching and enjoyable journey of 2 characters lovingly developed throughout. Miike's dishes out cultural clashes (Japanese in China etc) and references, again not fully comprehensible to Western audiences but maybe not very subtle for Eastern.

The Goonies

Classic romp. Kids film that isn't childish and you can see up the girls skirt in most shots for added value. .
I love the Goonies I wasn't aware of the girls skirt thing, must watch it again

Originally Posted by Pyro Tramp
Blades of Glory

Has the odd funny bit but isn't anywhere near a classic that Anchorman is.
I thought this movie is one of those movies that is so corny and silly, that it is great, loved it
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.

Yeh, i liked Blades of Glory, some funny bits and good performances but Will Ferrell's films are becoming well to similar, would rather watch Anchorman.

Yeah, Anchorman was pretty funny, despite Will Ferrell. I'm probably gonna get flamed a bit now, but I just find it difficult to appreciate Will Ferrell's humour. I dunno why, but he kind of annoys me a bit. But then, so does Adam Sandler, Chris Tucker, Steve Carell, etc. I dunno, I guess I need a degree of seriousness in actors, lol. That said, I do like the odd Jim Carrey film.

My favourite comedians are usually those who are not actual comedians such as Paddy Considine (who with his brilliant comic timing stole the show in Hot Fuzz).

he kind of annoys me a bit. But then, so does Adam Sandler, Chris Tucker, Steve Carell, etc. I dunno, I guess I need a degree of seriousness in actors, lol. That said, I do like the odd Jim Carrey film.
I'm with you

Yeah, Anchorman was pretty funny, despite Will Ferrell. I'm probably gonna get flamed a bit now, but I just find it difficult to appreciate Will Ferrell's humour. I dunno why, but he kind of annoys me a bit. But then, so does Adam Sandler, Chris Tucker, Steve Carell, etc. I dunno, I guess I need a degree of seriousness in actors, lol. That said, I do like the odd Jim Carrey film.

My favourite comedians are usually those who are not actual comedians such as Paddy Considine (who with his brilliant comic timing stole the show in Hot Fuzz).
Think it's a Atlantic difference, i can kinda see what you mean about them, i loath Adam Sandler films now, he's completely lost it; do like some Larry David though. And the more i watch Hot Fuzz, the more i think Considine makes it. Watching that and Dead Man's Shoes, you see how brilliant of an actor he is.

The Hills Have Eyes

Finally a brutal horror film without any of the Hollywood pussyfooting, has excellent direction, gore and suspense. Awesome horror film that works and in some aspects beats the original hands down. Aja is looking like the man who people should be w...(read more)atching, not Eli-shitting-Roth.


Bold and brilliant, excellent in every respect from the twisting and twisted story, direction of poetic slow motion violence and visceral single shot fight scenes to Escherial flashbacks, characters that are developed and flutter between empowered and flawed yet all illicit a degree of sympathy and disturbing but epic climax. Even with a little knowledge of Korea's history, the metaphors are powerful and equal the rest of the production. Even though the twist is one of the more memorable moments, it's great to have a film that doesn't center upon this meaning repeat viewing aren't lessened, it holds itself up. The only minor is the initial shock isn't there a second time but it just allows the rest to shine. Few films can be equally effecting in visual, narrative, editing, music thus the best. Film. Ever.

Jackie Brown

On par with 'Kill Bill 2' as his best film. Writing and homage interwoven into a reworked blaxploitation with a narrative unhampered by Tarantino's attempts to wow, through confusion, instead an actual plot with a variety of interesting characters w...(read more)riten as such, not just vessels to deliver his dialogue. Wonder how similar it is to source 'Rum Punch'.

Inland Empire

Almost avant-garde, almost a piece of pure art. Yes, it's self indulgent but when you're a mad genius like Lynch it doesn't matter. Thoroughly involving that's as much about manipulating the audience as entertaining. Epic master work and the culmin...(read more)ation of Lynch's work, American's best Auteur?

Hot Fuzz

Awesome performances and some awesome showcasing of Britain, more so than any other film. Pegg and Wright know their stuff and make the 'Shaun of the Dead' of cop films, albiet more 'Johnathon Creek' than 'Bad Boys'.


A profound waking and completely metaphorical and philosophical outlook on life. Some startling images and kinetic violence and savage bloodshed to enjoy even if the existentialism washes over you. The greatest accomplishment of a maverick auteur and ...(read more)a rich film to unravel as each sees fit.


Planet Terror was brilliant zombie fun and all round good with quality gore and OTT action, yet perhaps lets down Death Proof which can't live up to the fun of PT, mainly because Tarantino has (yet again) got his head up his ass. While DP may tick ge...(read more)neric markers of Grindhouse it needn't have, replace arrogant conversations between uninteresting characters with Kurt Russel being badass and either be a hack and slasher or women's revenge movie.

Kill Bill, Volume 2

My fav Tarantino film, his writing abilities are used with his ego out the mix, mostly. Sporadic outbursts of more relevant and intense violence rival the firsts all out and preposterous scenes in a character driven piece that pays more homage than ...(read more)it does steal. His choice of music is perfectly fitting yet again.

The Devil's Rejects

A wild excessive exploitational ride that, bar Hills Have Eyes remake, hasn't been done since 80s. A whole lot of fun for genre fans, maybe not so much for others. Unfortunately, some set pieces tend to stand out as such but worth sticking with for...(read more) ending alone.


Best sci-fi film of years; the dark tones of isolation echo Alien and a sense of awe and mystery of the unknown ala 2001. If the plot is somewhat generic, it's subtleties work well in revising the armeggedon flicks expectations.

Dawn of the Dead

A worthy remake that takes '28 Days Later' running zombie and cements it as the new version. Some good gore and some good action, definitely one of the few remakes in the recent slew to reccomend.

Pan's Labyrinth (El Laberinto del fauno)

Sublime blend of War and dark fairytale that's not afraid to pull punches. Moving story, splendid visual design. Sure to make Top 10 of decade.

The Fountain

A stunning piece of art, magnificent trilogy of love, that suprisingly Jackman and Weisz handle well. Aronofsky proves his talent as one of the milleniums greatest talents with some striking shots and imagination.

Blade Runner

A classic, beautifully designed and shot sci-fi masterpiece with an intriguing philosophical look on human nature.

Evil Dead 2

More a vehicle for Bruce Campbell than anything else, with his insane amounts of charisma and talent for physical comedy. Combine the best screen character and actor with Raimi's intuitive direction add some zombies and you've got perfection.


A brilliant revionist noir, ingeniously crafted by Polanski to defy convention yet make a the perfect genre film, that's not to mention the performances of tragic Dunaway and cool yet clueless Nicholson.

Mulholland Drive

Lynch's multi-layered masterpiece, every viewing yields different answers, meaning multiple viewings are essential for the multiple readings. Also, the lesbian scene is HOT.

The Thing

One of the greatest horrors of all time, the SFX are better than the CGI junk of today, done how they should always be done. Carpenter ratchets up tension in every corner, masterclass in horror direction led by strong characters and supported by tight scripting. Not a fan? Yeah, well **** you too.

Blue Velvet

A film with so much depth, one 3000 word essay regarding one aspect can't do it justice. Superb post-modernism and surrealism with none too subtle Freudian undertones. A film all about surfaces open to just as much reading as Mulholland Dr whilst retaining a coherent narrative. Dennis Hopper creates one of the greatest character to grace the silver screen (especially given that he's MacLachlan's subconscious) in a movie watchable countless times.

The Crow

Can't think of many movies where the hero and villian are equally as entertaining or as morally reprehensible giving two fascinating characters and no counterpoints allowing unadultered and merciless vengeance. Combine that with the visuals and violence which are restrained yet striking, plus far more atmosphere than Burton's Batman. Proyas should get more recognition cuz he makes some awesome films and this is the best.


A visceral and scathing critique on culture but also a cult horror with a disturbing premise and accompanying prosthetics, which although are very 80s, Cronenbergs realisation and layered narrative delving between reality creates plenty to keep you glued into the you TV.

Dead Man

Depp's best role and an amazing reworking of the Western genre, full of allegory and readings. I'm sure some of it is lost on me but the characters and whole direction, imagery, music et al are beyond splendid and create a unique and enriching film.

Army of Darkness: Evil Dead 3

Although drifted away from it's horror origins to a Jason and the Argonauts pastiche, it lets Bruce polish Ash into THE greatest hero of all time. Humour and horror take even billing but it's a great progression opposed to re-iterating previous instalments, wisely not taking itself to seriously with great one liners and, well, he's get a frickin chainsaw for a hand. Despite the budget not holding the production up, it gives it the low budget charm that keep this cult. If you think this movie ain't groovy, suck my boomstick.

The Evil Dead

Although Campbell's character is a cowardly hero opposed to legend of later, this one's strength is in the horror, not comedy. The low budget allows room for great creativity, to the extent the low budget improves on the gory horror potrayed admirably by Raimi, even if it includes a girl being raped by a tree (=awesome). Masterclass for young filmmakers in how to make a horror film.


The bastard film of Cronenberg body-horror and Lynchian surrealism directed by madman Miike. Certainly combines these aspects for a unique film, not as artistic, philosophical or over the top as his others but it's his happiest medium and has some of the most twisted sick moments committed to celluloid. It's not a particularly fluid movie (pun not intended) but after the finale it will stick with you like a ladle up the bum.


Feel Evil Dead takes a lot of Re-Animator's thunder but this is a brilliant example of why more people need to recognise the genius of Lovecraft and talents of Jeffrey Combs. Not the typical zombie mayhem, more science than occult but a fine entry a...(read more)t the top of the canon nonetheless.

28 Weeks Later

Very good follow up, superb opening sequence, falls down from there on in but the cinematography and visuals excel.

Die Hard 4.0

Considering how badly it could've gone, it's suprisingly good. McClane's not the everyday hero, but he's not superman which was a wise move when the scale is now a country and 'Die Hard' was all about the fighting in confined spaces. The voilence is still there, but more glossed with no blood, people die, just not hard.

Pulp Fiction

Don't think it's dated well and is too over quoted to have same appeal but there's some good use of his ensembe cast and can't deny it's cultural effect. Still shallow filmmaking, hidden under the catchy dialogue and fractured chronology, some directorial choices are cool but rest is average.


The visuals are Sin City impressive but the battles often lacked scale and the story and some of the narrative devices are rather questionable. That aside it's an epic eye feast with some amazing bits and iffy LoTR fantasy.


Does what it says on the tin quite well but not something to cream your pants over, certainly the spectacle is highest priority here


Miike continues to create the most diverse resume imaginable, here with his superhero flick. It's got token weirdness and some budget CGI that and waning plot aside, it's a lot of fun and a different take on the superhero mythos, with some Japanese c...(read more)ultural references, mostly lost to Western audience i'd imagine.

Kill Bill, Volume 1

Not as good as the second, or the Japanese samurai films it *ahem* homages. Hopefully the uncut version will be better but his priorities will still lie in *ahem* homage over anything resembling depth.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Enjoyable if you don't pay too much attention to the washed up plot and disregard the fact World's End doesn't satisfy this ones weaknesses. Some nice set pieces and cinematography.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Admitedly, as a non fan, the last 3 Potter's have been ok, compared to the first two rubbish ones. However this one spends a lot of time pottering around (pun intended) till the quite cool magic showdown providing much needed relief of the nothingness. Good, no, better performances from kids though shame about Oldman, terrible onscreen death, didn't even realise he was dead.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End

On par with the second but still just as redundant. Arrogant and overlong with some misplaced homages (Leone, Python) but has some enjoyable bits and some dark moves for a Disney film.


Not sure how intentional the 'Rear Window' similarity was (i can barely remember it but know it's way similar) but it worked well until it finished with a quite derivative stalk and slash finish, undoing much psychological intrigue the film builds.

War of the Worlds

Interesting perspective of surviving than the spectacle of attack. Dakota Fanning is scarier than the badly designed aliens though. Too many irritating plot holes and Tim Robbins are other flaws but the shooting and action counters.

House of 1000 Corpses

While not original, it's executed with a fine 70s style which makes it a shame the script can't hold up to Zombie's aspirations before getting lost in it's own love for itself.

The Hills Have Eyes II

Completely uneven and badly done all round. Does try to encapsulate the 80s sequel ethos of adding humour. That doesn't work either though. Everything the first did well, this doesn't, but while lots is going wrong for this, it's still watchable with some novel moments


Horrible plot with obvious twist poorly delivered, not really any 'gorno' either. Only watchable bit is Elisha's lovely **** and ass despite her un-convincing and badly writen role.

Austin Powers in Goldmember

A good franchise runs right out of energy and ideas. Too much recycled humour that isn't funny, along with new bits that aren't that new or funny. First scene was good, rest was only film that tempted me to walk out.

Running Scared

Has some really ridiculously dumb bits (well, most of it) but at least puts up a different style.

The Day After Tomorrow

CGI weather is cool (pun not intended) but a film about weather? Bad as it sounds.


My name is Domino. I am a bad movie.


Delicious when served with fava beans and a chianti. Better than the starter and probably my favourite course.

The Bourne Ultimatum

Although i'm happy to say it's the best of threequels dominating this year i'd also go as far to say it's the best film of the summer. Despite that, the plot is as shaky as the camera, a collection of extended scenes essentially but it's avoidance of cliche and powerhouse performance from Damon as Bourne lets it flow smooth enough to negate said problems.

I ain't gettin' in no fryer!
Well done!
"I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music", as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work." - Mitch Hedberg

Flixster's beautiful, ain't it?
Those are really good Flixster quickies... I don't like My Super Ex-Girlfriend at all, but those are all well-written for sure.
I was recently in an independent comedy-drama about post-high school indecision. It's called Generation Why.

See the trailer here:


Was the comedy 'Knocked Up' should have been, good chemistry and acting from the cast, great writing as well- a lot of relateable humour and some slightly more crazy moments make an above standard comedy not dominated by too sickly or cliched romance.

Knocked Up

Could've been good if they put some jokes in. A grounding that only really serves to provide the fun banter which is the only real comedy here, thus isn't a particularly fluid film but fair play for not going for the gross out cliches.

Halloween (2007)

Zombie's gives a fair shot at this remake, adding a lengthy development of Myers in the Mental Institution however after this addition he quickly ends up copying bits in directly from the original. Despite that he adds some decent brutality that's l...(read more)acking in the horror genre these days and removed the cheap 'jump' scenes but also lost any sense of tension, letting it revel in the acts of violence in a sense very reminiscent of the 70s.


A fine yet forgotten incarnation in the Hannibal Lector saga. Although lacking Hopkins, Cox does an equally good job and Mann handles the film far better than the Red Dragon remake. Some of the 80s editting lets the film down towards the end but th.e rest is a great psycholigical detective flick.

The Devil Wears Prada

Really bland and poorly written movie, but then i'm not really the target audience.

You, Me and Dupree

Suprisingly apt film that works at what it aims to, though not being overly funny does provide a good time.


My name is Domino. I am a bad movie.

Flixster's beautiful, ain't it?
Those are really good Flixster quickies... I don't like My Super Ex-Girlfriend at all, but those are all well-written for sure.
I didn't think My Super Ex-Girlfriend was fantastic but from the trailer i thought it would be horrible and really didn't want to watch it, so i enjoyed it a lot more when i did, plus i thought it was an original concept and didn't take itself too seriously which counted for a lot.

Urotsukidôji (Legend of the Overfiend)

Pushes limits of decency but is a good laugh at the same time. Some insane monster rape but also some pretty cool animated scenes. Complete opposite to Miyazaki anime.

Ninja Scroll

Frickin amazing. Blood, rape, monsters, monster rape, swords. Everything.


Incredibly intricate animation and equally superb in all aspects.


As near to perfect film i've seen. Impossible to watch and not feel warm and fuzzy inside. Tatou really owns it as a great quirky character. Definitely give her a serious seeing to.

Dark City

Really underrated film, lovingly crafted by Proyas, a really underrated director also. Has some brilliant sets and a story before it's time that would seem like plagairism if you don't look at it's release date....

The Hitcher

Classic cult B-movie with an outstanding performance from Hauer rivalling Roy Batty which really makes the film.

The Brood

A typical early Cronenberg flick with his recurrent themes, though aren't as fresh, well done here or interestingly explored as his other works. Few too many direction and budget problems as well. That aside a couple of creepy moments and interesting addition to his filmography.

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

It's rare that i'd watch a film that ends with a mass orgy and find it ridiculous but with Perfume i did, though the finale is pretty crazy and memorable. It's passionately shot however thought it would be a far richer visual affair but nonetheless has some great cinematography and music. It's only really let down by the ironic sub character conclusions, giving a quirky tone akin to Amelie, not suited to a film that's so dark.

A system of cells interlinked
Very cool thread, and I love all the 'lil comments you post about each film...
“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.” ― Thomas Sowell