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I've only played one real stinker this year but here's the five games I enjoyed the least released this year.
Chaos Engine - Needless HD remaster of an old shooter. You could get the same effect by playing the original through an emulator and picking the worst scaling option at your disposal.
SimCity - I actually put 30+ hours into this but I'm guessing at least half of the time was spent making dinner/hanging out washing while SimCity whirred away in the background. What makes this a poor game (along with the well-reported criticisms) is that I'd come back from eating/bathing/speaking at The UN etc and the game would still have progressed nicely (and I'd be making tons of money, no matter how badly I treated my populace). My input was not required...
Thomas Was Alone - Kill the Indie darling! Kill it! 2013 was the year that I got tired of the puzzle platformer and while Thomas Was Alone probably wasn't the worst example of this, it had one massive negative that its competitors did not: Danny Effing Wallace.
If his presence in Thomas Was Alone wasn't enough, Danny Effing Wallace is also immortalised in the Assassins Creed games. His smug face even joins his smug voice in Brotherhood.
Antichamber - A series of dick moves dressed up like a trendy Portal. Ugh.
The Bureau Colon XCOM Declassified - The only utter stinker I spent money on. I pre-ordered it, in fact.
Want to cash in on Enemy Unknown's justified success? Make an XCOM game as a lame 3rd person cover shooter (enough to make me barf on its own) with tacked-on (and really unwieldy) squad commands.
That's how a lunatic would do it, anyway... It's also how Declassified plays.
It's like the devs sat down and said "What's everyone's favourite part in the Mass Effect games? Yep, the squad mechanic!"
I've got half a mind to put Catherine on the list too but I didn't actually pay for it (Playstation+ saving me some money there) so it can escape.
EDIT - Y'know what? I occasionally bang on about the last Assassins Creed game that I was happy with being AC2. What happened in the next game? Danny Effing Wallace's face, that's what.
Here was me thinking that Ubisoft were merely milking a once genuinely interesting franchise dry by releasing one every year and diluting the game's heart with each successive iteration.
Duh. My bad.
Chaos Engine - Needless HD remaster of an old shooter. You could get the same effect by playing the original through an emulator and picking the worst scaling option at your disposal.
SimCity - I actually put 30+ hours into this but I'm guessing at least half of the time was spent making dinner/hanging out washing while SimCity whirred away in the background. What makes this a poor game (along with the well-reported criticisms) is that I'd come back from eating/bathing/speaking at The UN etc and the game would still have progressed nicely (and I'd be making tons of money, no matter how badly I treated my populace). My input was not required...
Thomas Was Alone - Kill the Indie darling! Kill it! 2013 was the year that I got tired of the puzzle platformer and while Thomas Was Alone probably wasn't the worst example of this, it had one massive negative that its competitors did not: Danny Effing Wallace.
If his presence in Thomas Was Alone wasn't enough, Danny Effing Wallace is also immortalised in the Assassins Creed games. His smug face even joins his smug voice in Brotherhood.
Antichamber - A series of dick moves dressed up like a trendy Portal. Ugh.
The Bureau Colon XCOM Declassified - The only utter stinker I spent money on. I pre-ordered it, in fact.
Want to cash in on Enemy Unknown's justified success? Make an XCOM game as a lame 3rd person cover shooter (enough to make me barf on its own) with tacked-on (and really unwieldy) squad commands.
That's how a lunatic would do it, anyway... It's also how Declassified plays.
It's like the devs sat down and said "What's everyone's favourite part in the Mass Effect games? Yep, the squad mechanic!"
I've got half a mind to put Catherine on the list too but I didn't actually pay for it (Playstation+ saving me some money there) so it can escape.
EDIT - Y'know what? I occasionally bang on about the last Assassins Creed game that I was happy with being AC2. What happened in the next game? Danny Effing Wallace's face, that's what.
Here was me thinking that Ubisoft were merely milking a once genuinely interesting franchise dry by releasing one every year and diluting the game's heart with each successive iteration.
Duh. My bad.
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"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how the Tatty 100 is done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." - Brendan Behan
"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how the Tatty 100 is done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." - Brendan Behan
Lots of surface reasons to be interested. Pity.
