Meatwadsprite's Slow Review Thread

Meet the Robinsons (1 viewing)



Plot : An orphan goes back and forth through time.

Story : As you can tell by my plot description , there really is no strong emphasis on anything here. It's pretty much all random events with next to none coherency. If this dosen't matter to you - then you can predict the movie's twist half way into the movie : and that's kind of clever , but it's lack of characters and super cheesy done a thousand times story twists : make this just another one to throw into the crap vault. It's use of time toward the end is also highly confusing to the viewer : but apparently some kid who has never done it before in the movie , knows exactly how it works : don't worry this is only the first in many plot holes the movie features.

Visuals : Highly cartoony unrealistic animation style , that stands up poorely against the insane amount of CGI animated films of recent.

Sypnosis : Though it's a lot better than the horrible Back to the Future , that's not saying much.

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The King of Comedy (1 viewing)



Plot : Rupert Pupkin (Robert DeNiro) is obessed with getting his career off the ground on the Jerry Langford talk-show. Though over time he gradually learns how these important corperations and celeberties treat people.

Story : Probably the most successfull use of imaginary scenes I've seen in a film. Robert DeNiro couldn't have been a more perfect cast for the role : you'll forget all about the DeNiro you know and fall in love with this new one - that won't take no for an answer. Although you'll probably predict exactly what happens to him throughout the movie : seeing as how the movie is pretty similar to Taxi Driver. It's a fun time to be had - and a suprisingly non-violent movie from Martin Scorsese.

Visuals : Settings with real depth that you won't forget. Though it dosen't have much beyond that , it's still fine to look at. The use of the television effect is very effective and sometimes surreal surroundings will stick out : it's dull lighting and no camera movement will stick to you as well.

Sypnosis : You'll probably get just as annoyed with DeNiro has Jerry in the movie does : but after knowing him through the experience you won't be able to stay mad long.

In your last two reviews, these statements stand out to me, although I'm not sure what you mean, exactly.

"Though it's a lot better than the horrible Back to the Future, that's not saying much." This is for a movie?

"Probably the most successfull use of imaginary scenes I've seen in a film." Please explain.

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It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
My IMDb page

Glad you liked the King of Comedy it is one of my favourites

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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
Buddha

Same here, I think it deserves another box just for uncannily predicting how the nature of fame would evolve over the next two decades.

Plus, it had Joe Strummer from The Clash cameo as a street punk. How sweet is that?

Back to Future was a in my book

and in the king of comedy , he often imagines people talking to him - when really it's just him doing all the talking : this has been done in many films - but never as good as it was in the King of Comedy

Back to the Future is a fantastic, creative, wonderfully written and executed film. Sorry you didn't get it.

Your loss, totally.

Nothing horrible about it. Not one thing.

Back to the Future

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Brick wall, I want you to listen to me. Are you listening?!? HELLO!!! Oh, go fu*k yourself, Bricky.

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"Film is a disease. When it infects your bloodstream it takes over as the number one hormone. It bosses the enzymes, directs the pineal gland, plays Iago to your psyche. As with heroin, the antidote to Film is more Film." - Frank Capra

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1 viewing)



Plot : New York is suffering a crime spree , but not for long when four genetically mutated talking/walking turtles that know the art of ninjitsu interfere.

Story : Though it was suprisingly good for the most part , it's ending becomes cheesy what you would expect out of a licensed showcase like this. Four mutated turtles each known by the color mask they wear : are trained by their master - a rat called Splinter. Lots kids in New York seemingly don't like their families so they join the recent crime wave fronted by the Foot Clan : led by the very strong Shredder. There are some more original story telling portions throughout the film : but towards the end all of this goes to waste in a horrible ending.

Visuals and Action : The turtles look great compared to today's films where they would most likely be CGI. The actors are heavily costumed and look pretty amazing. Aside from the cool looking turtles there are some good fight scenes , but again towards the end the turtles for some reason don't all attack a guy at once - hence that would cut off the entire rest of the corney cheap moral themed generalization of a ending.

Sypnosis : Suprisingly good for the most part with a horrible ending.

Plot holes , horrible acting , horrible soundtrack , bad special effects , depthless characters , and predictable story ? Aside from that - it's a perfect movie.

Well, Back to the Future is no Rush Hour 3 or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I'll give you that without an argument.

Another meatwad review yet to be...



The Seventh Seal

Plot: ?????

Story: Something about a knight on a beach playing checkers with a hooded albino (they clearly ripped this off from "Bill & Ted's Bogus Adventures 2"). I think it's supposed to be an allergy. Anyway, they talk funny, German or something, and their are subtitles so it's like a lot of reading. I havent read a book since...well, I haven't read ANY thing since the placemat at Denny's last summer, and even that was wordy and cunfusing (my crayon just trailed off somewhere at a dead end in the middle of the maze). So I don't know what they were talking about. I believe milk was mentioned at one point, but I was fast forwarding a lot by then. I guess this is about lactose intolerance and dancing, but I couldn't really tell you because it sucked and was BORING and sucked.

Visuals and Pacing: Black and white (mostly black) and dull all over. Whoever this Bergman dude is he should take some lessons from Steve Barron (directer of "TMNT") about proper moviemaking techniquces. Worst movie ever made.

Synopsis: WTF

But, you are wrong about every single thing you listed... Plot holes? Please list these alleged plot holes in a frippin time travel movie...

Horrible soundtrack? Bad Special Effects? The effects are fine, and the music is of its time, and fits the film perfectly.

Depthless characters? Once you actually figure out what a character is, get back to me. Meanwhile you liked Spiderman 3, which is the worst travesty of character in years. Sorry, you have no credibility when it comes to deciding what good character development is.

Predictable story?

NEWS FLASH!!!! Back to the future isn't a mystery, so what does surprise have to do with, well, anything?

Here are some other stories that are predictable, but are, without argument, some of the best and most seminal stories ever:

The Odyssey - Skip this one, it's totally stupid! I mean, Dactylic Hexameter?? WTF is that?? This guy writes funny, and there aren't even any talking turtles???? I mean, of COURSE we know the hero will eventually get home...what fun is that?? Was he really dead the whole time? Was he really a woman??? Did he really have 12 personalities, and he confused the cyclops into setting his men free with shifty and clever impersonations of Agamemnon? No CGI here, either? What's reading?

Star Wars - Funny, a few posts up, you rave about this film. It must have dozens of red herrings and false subplots to confuse you, so when they finally storm the castle (Death Star) at the end, you have NO IDEA what can POSSIBLY happen! What incredible plot twists! I never saw any of that coming!!!

Damn, I'm tipsy, and can't be bothered with any more silliness. This is a fun thread, though, I must say...

Have at you then...

Fun for some people, anyway.

Seven Samurai (2 viewings)



Plot : A town suffering from recent attacks by bandits go to town in search of powerfull samurais to protect their village .

Story : As most movies with such strong straight forward plots have - this movie keeps you always thinking about the decisions it's characters make : espicially with such a colorfull set of them. The majority of the samurais are older and light hearted - with one in training and another more rouge warrior who dosen't exactly fit into the samurai name. The villagers selfish-ness give the story a whole new plane of vision that most films fail to see - they are very realistic and have their selfish reasons for everything. Not to say the Samurai don't - their reasons for battle are unvieled sleightly : but for the most part , it's more of the moral behind saving "helpless" vilagers : for them. As for the pacing , it's perfect : what you would come to expect from Akira Kurosawa (the best director of his time period imo).

Visuals : The film (while very old) is beautifull and maximizes everything black and white has to offer. It's often brighter tone was defintly the way to go - with such detail to the characters : who all speak , walk , and fight differently - defining them so much , with as little time possible . Also , the use of the paint to cross out the enemy soilders : is one of the most innovative things you'll see in a film.

Sypnosis : A grand tale of many characters - backed up by a strong plot and great visual quality.

I'm glad you enjoyed the film, It even appears that may have actually watched as well.

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We are both the source of the problem and the solution, yet we do not see ourselves in this light...

im glad it watched too

About Schmidt (1 viewing)



Plot : A newley retired man's (Jack Nicholson) life seems pretty dull - untill his wife dies.

Story : A great introduction to a seemingly happy or settled character who you really don't know - you are instantly thrown into his actuall thoughts which you probably would have never expected. He is one of the most realistic , thought out characters you'll see in a film : which is the strong part of this movie. It's story isn't very out of the box aside from it's character , and some twists are highly predictable along with it's ending. Although it's predictable story is highly surpassed by it's depthfull characters. Warren Schmidt has just retired from his job - which he really didn't want to quit : and begins his boring retirement. We see that he is sick of his wife , but soon after he expresses his feelings about her she dies : he then sets out on his Winebago on a road trip. With his daughters wedding coming up , he tries to stop her from marrying a man who he dosen't like , though his relationship with his daughter is weak.

Visuals : Pretty good for the most part , but mostly dominated by duller colors and never really has an amazing shots.

Sypnosis : A great character to see a movie about.

Thanks meatface, I love both the last 2 you reviewed