Rate The Last Movie You Saw

The Night at the Museum trilogy - (2006, 2009, 2014)

I used to love going to the museum when I was a kid, and it was only later that I learned that this made me a pretty weird one. I was fascinated by everything, and it felt strange to think that some of the things on display had been through what they'd been through so long ago. They'd come through centuries and in some cases much longer - and I felt that same sense when I studied geology at university, with rocks that were formed millions of years ago, as fossilized remains that had left an imprint untold ages ago. That's not the reason I wanted to see the Night at the Museum films though - they simply looked like they'd be a lot of fun. They weren't though. Unfortunately Shawn Levy (who directed all three) can't seem to get a comedic spark from his talented cast. How can you waste the likes of Ben Stiller, Ricky Gervais, Robin Williams, Mickey Rooney, Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan amongst others? It doesn't seem possible - you have a dream cast there.

Perhaps the penchant of the films to play things safe in a family-friendly kind of way was holding much of the talent back. All of the nude statues and the cherubs had their genitals removed, which was kind of unnecessary. One thing that was great were the special effects, with all three films looking absolutely gorgeous. All of the visuals make the awkward and stifled funny stuff worth sitting through, because everything I saw was terrific. Mickey Rooney in the first and last films managed to impart a sense of fun, and was probably the best in a comedic sense the series had. Jonah Hill and Rebel Wilson sneak into the 2nd and 3rd respectively and give it their best. The movie simply aren't for me, or my sense of humour. They're fun and gorgeous, but not all that funny.

5/10

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Eternals follows the titular immortal heroes, led by Ajax (Salma Hayek), as they wrestle with their duty to protect Earth and humanity from Deviants and their ultimate purpose and reason to exist as established by the Celestials. The Biblical and religious parallelisms are not subtle as our characters seem to be torn between the pulls of good and evil, what they want to do and what they have to do.

Much has been said about the Eternals flaws, its pace and dialogue, and most of those criticisms are valid. The pace is indeed a bit off and the dialogue is often clunky and too expository, but I appreciated the theme of purpose, fate, and free will, even if I feel it wasn't executed to its full potential. I know a lot of people have argued that the film was slow and boring, but I don't think it was a bad film, just a sputtering one.

Grade:


Full review on my Movie Loot

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Final Score (2018)

Starts off rusty and grainy but gets better and better. Realistic violence (no superhumans here), a brutal fight scene, explosions, guns, hostages. All the dangerous action you anticipate but with the realism makes it more intense.

77/100

By Elevation Pictures - https://www.elevationpictures.com, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=72683413

Infinity Pool - (2023)

I've often pondered thought experiments about perfect replication, and the philosophical conundrums it brings about. If it were technologically feasible at all, it would take the kind of technology humans won't have at their disposal for at least another few thousand years, if ever. Never mind that though, because the implications are fun enough to play around with in a film, and Brandon Cronenberg has done that in this sci-fi/horror mash-up. Gore and nudity don't fill the entire film, but you do get a good dose of both - although what stood out to me most were the psychological implications of what happens to main character James Foster (Alexander Skarsgård) and what Cronenberg was trying to say with this film. The plot is kind of spoiler-rich.



Okay, so far I'm right on board with Infinity Pool big time, but it kind of let me down in it's last act, after the entire concept has been revealed. This is very much "the story of James" and I had a personal excitement to witness "the story of this group of overprivileged people" - the impunity they exercised and their willingness to push it to extremes. The psychological glee they all seem to get when watching themselves killed. The complete abandonment of moral inhibitions (of what little remained of them anyway.) I had a hard time being invested in James, by comparison, I'm sorry to say. He doesn't present to us as fascinating or really interesting - and even his cohorts play with him. Obviously he lacks confidence, assuredness and belief. He's slow-witted, makes terrible decisions and never utters one single interesting word. Yet we spend most of the film's final act intently focused on this character.

One day I'll come back to this, and see if I have a definite take on it. I loved two-thirds of this. I'll be thinking about it a bit though, until the next movie comes around.

6/10

This beautiful film from Wong Kar Wai was made as part of an anthology of films called 'Eros' that explore desire. The other two films in that anthology are directed by Steven Soderberg and Michelangelo Antonioni. ‘The hand’ mid-length and is like a mini sequel to Wong's 'In the Mood for Love', but with different characters.

Chang Cheng plays Zhang, a shy dressmaker who gets romantically involved with a high end call girl Miss Hua played by the stunning Gong Li. There's something of the Reynolds Woodcock about Zhang's character (his utter love for dressmaking, and the obsession with a mysterious lady), but the tone is classic Wong. Set in 60's Hong Kong there are so many similar shots from 'In the Mood for Love' and once again Christopher Doyle is the DoP that gels it all together in such unique, gorgeous style.

Zhang and Miss Hua’s relationship is charted throughout what seems like a span of several years and the narrative is non-linear with a sort of bookend scene at beginning and end that explains why we are seeing a flashback for most of the film. It’s a really lovely way to spend 55 minutes.

The film can be found on the extras of the ‘2046’ Blu Ray and is also streaming on the Criterion channel.

The Florida Project (Sean Baker, 2017)



A film that shot up on my radar following our recent countdown and continued championing from Raul on here.

Amazing modern-day neorealism magically captured by Baker's attentive and caring camera. These are real human beings deftly painted, showing the wonder of youth, the hardship of parenthood and so on. Baker manages to get the perfect balance of humour and sadness, the colours beautifully illuminate each frame but it's the characters that inhabit them that carry the story.

Will have to check out his other work.

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Documental: Marlon Brando - 8/10
2-part TCM Documentary

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Woman On Pier 13 - 4/10
Alternative title, "I Married a Communist". This was the only propaganda movie I hadn't seen in my watch-list.

Heh, heh. Commie Noir. I liked it more than you did, and it turned out that the warnings were right.. Wonderful photography by the great Nicholas Musaraca.

La Planete Sauvage (1973)
or Fantastic Planet in English

Didn't like this one much. On a plus note, makes you feel empathy for humans a bit more when you see giant kids playing with them like tiny animals, giving the story some attachment points. But beyond that everything sucked about this movie.

45/100

By http://ltrg.leechturk.com/_img/afis/f1583.jpg, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=41600649

We're the Millers - (2013)

Plenty of your comedic staples in We're the Millers - misinterpretation, the adorably dumb character, subterfuge and such. It's okay - I got a few laughs. I mean, this isn't going to appear on '100 Greatest Comedy' lists anywhere, but Jennifer Aniston, Jason Sudeikis and Will Poulter have enough charm and likeability to carry this along - especially Poulter as a 'gee wizz' innocent kind of 50s boy seemingly transported to our modern era. He was great. A funnier cast might have been the go though. Steve Buscemi was once attached to play the Jason Sudekis role - which would have been interesting. The plot involves a drug dealer, stripper, homeless person and kid banding together and pretending to be a family in order to smuggle tons of cannabis across the U.S./Mexican border in an RV. Nick Offerman and Kathryn Hahn come along as an innocent pair and nearly steal the whole movie. I don't have any problems with it, but you'll never hear me recommending it to people who want to see a good comedy - there's better out there.

6/10


By The poster art copyright is believed to belong to the distributor of the film, the publisher of the film or the graphic artist. - Bloody Disgusting, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=49706097

In a Valley of Violence - (2016)

This revenge western isn't breaking any new ground, but performances of note from the likes of Ethan Hawke, James Ransone and Taissa Farmiga raise it a level. Hawke especially is convincing as a damaged army veteran who has seen too much and done too much killing. When oafish parties kill his dog, you know a massacre is in the offing, which includes an equally damaged town marshal played by John Travolta, who is left trying to clean up another mess his wayward, idiotic son has made. Ti West wrote and directed this just before writing and directing X, showing that he's in a certain filmmaking groove at the moment.

7/10

Moon Zero Two (1970)

Here's one of those great terrible comedies that makes you laugh and doesn't take itself too seriously. There's a lot of things wrong with this movie but it's something you'll want to see again someday. I laughed quite a few times.

56/100

Der Mude Tod (1921)
or Destiny in English

Praised as a silent film classic, I can't disagree. If you're into silent films then this one is probably one of the best of its time.

83/100

We're in complete agreement on these two films.

One of the best movies of its time, indeed.

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San Franciscan lesbian dwarves and their tomato orgies.

Saint Omer (Alice Diop, 2022)



A fascinating film that takes a lot from the medium of documentaries to recreate a real-life trial following the murder of a 15 month child.

Minimalist in its approach, Diop uses the camera to carefully capture the expressions of the two main actresses, in particular Guslagie Malanda. The result is a film that is utterly absorbing as we conjure up images in our head to recreate the real-life actions based on the performances of the actors involved.

The premise of ‘Il Mare’ is ludicrous and the music is generally awful as tends to be the case with these films, but I have a weird penchant for South Korean romance films. This is the synopsis:

Sounds tenuous, and there are many holes in the whole time travel setup, but the film isn’t about the minutae of time travel or parallel realities. It’s more about the concept of fate, and love. It’s very well directed and the shots of he sea lodge especially are stunning.

Jun Ji-Hyun also starred in ‘My Sassy Girl’ a year later which has a lot of similarities to ‘Il Mare’ in terms of tone, the romance angle and a slight Sci-Fi element. Look past the slushy music cues and you’ll find an achingly beautiful film.

I loved this. It’s not a movie, but a limited series.

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I’m here only on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays. That’s why I’m here now.

Enjoyed this. Why a beautiful 19 year old from a good family in Sweden would come to L.A. with her dream of becoming a “porn star” is beyond ludicrous. Who does this?

The porn was tame, lots of sweaty very creepy guys & our heroine is abused in all kinds of ways, but we hardly see anything.

So, strange in the extreme, but lead actress is exceptionally good. Swedish cinema, what can I say.