Rate The Last Movie You Saw


Finished here. It's been fun.
Fires on the Plain
One of the bleakest films I've ever seen. Never before have I seen a film that more effectively captures just how exhausting, tiresome and alienating a war truly is. There's very little combat, instead we get to see the inherent struggle of simply trying to stay alive. Great, great film.

With Beauty and Sorrow

A mediocre script slightly elevated by terrific photography and a palpable sense of dread.

The Fog

Whoo boy was this movie cozy. Atmospheric cinema is the only way to go, bruh. Carpenter's the man.

Drinking Buddies (2013)

Caught this on TV the other day. Films like this are a paradox to me: in my brain I know they're not good but I still enjoy them because damn, they're so much fun to watch!

Dead Man Walking (1995)

Went from your typical semi-sentimental true story feature to an honest and unsettling experience of a kind - and did so almost with an invisible change of pace.

Greatest reviewer alive
Blue Jasmine

When Woody Allen dedicates his time to make a great film, he doesn't just make it great, he makes it thoroughly brilliant. Blue Jasmine is no different. In fact, in this late stage of his directorial career, this is among his best.

I love the underlying tone throughout this film (at least what I perceive the tone to be) which is a pretty straightforward satire against the bourgeoisie. He makes wealth and prosperity look shallow, and vapid. I must give his wonderful writing the credit it deserves, because it isn't easy making the rich look like anything other than luxurious. In fact, it looks downright miserable.

This wouldn't be a proper review without mentioning Cate Blanchett's oscar winning portrayal of a woman verging on insanity, occasionally mumbling to herself dialogue about how tough a life she finds herself existing in. A pill popping, alcohol guzzling vixen that can't find one thing to enjoy in the real world, or how to work for a living for that matter. This is one of Woody's best characters he's ever written, and nobody, nobody could've performed Jasmine the way Blanchett did. She's one of the best actresses of our generation.

One other thing I found very amusing was the way it shifts from the present to the past, seamlessly, and none of it comes off confusing. You get a bit of history of when she found herself married to a millionaire, extremely well taken care of, to the present day where she seems like she's on a spiral slamming rock bottom. The material though never sinks into melodrama, maintaining it's bright, colorful examination of a woman with no optimism, yet managing to conjure laughter in the midst of her depression. It's a tricky balance that only Woody Allen could write.

All In All, Blue Jasmine is late stage peak Woody Allen, with great writing (no surprise), better acting, a sense of dread, but balanced with a tone that can only make you enjoy it from the first shot, till the credits roll. A-

Greatest reviewer alive

Tributes to silent films and the black and white era of the 20's don't happen often. Actually, the only one I can think of is The Artist. With filmmaking as beautiful as these films end up being, it's a wonder they aren't made more often. Maybe if that were the case, the novelty would wear off, and I suppose that wouldn't be good either.

This rendition of Snow White finds itself with a backdrop of 1920-30's Spain. I've never watched the original Snow White (gasp) but I'm sure it's not a black and white silent film with a bull-fighting twist. This film is gorgeous. From top to bottom, this story is conveyed through motions and expressions these actors/actresses were born for. It's also sometimes heart-wrenching, I wanted to cry a few times, but I kept my cool.

Maribel Verdu, the evil step-mother, dare I say is one woman I wanted to strangle more than any character I've ever seen portrayed. She is just a walking, living Satan. I guess it's a testament to how well her acting was. The young actress playing Carmencita is wonderful, and the older actress also playing her is equally magnificent (and attractive too, holy cow was she pretty). Her merry band of dwarves are all great as well, adding a helping hand of compassion to the young bull-fighter.

The direction I want to touch upon, because it's the best element this film has going for it. Besides the wonderful muted acting and the score driving this film along, without Pablo Berger's deft hand at beauty and knowing a beautiful shot from a slightly less-beautiful shot, this film would've failed tremendously. It's proven from the early beginning that this man knows his older cinema and has studied it for many years.

All In All, Blancanieves is marvelous silent film that couldn't get any prettier if it tried. It's on Netflix, you have no excuse. B+

Evil Dead (2013)

Anybody ragging on this beautiful bloodbath for its mediocre acting is watching the original through rose-tinted glasses. If you told me Raimi shot a porno and cut out the good stuff, I'd believe you. Sure, this doesn't have the hokey charm of a shoe string budget, but it's far more visually interesting. The script paints in broad strokes so the lack of characterization seems to be what people rag on, but it's the perfect vehicle for chaos and honestly has a higher caliber premise than the original. Calling it studio tripe is pure hypocrisy when the same people would probably cream their jeans for something like └ l'intÚrieur (2007) because of it's transgressive French extremism. Fede Alvarez did a great job with this soft reboot of a cult classic. I have high hopes for both him and where ever this rebirthed franchise goes next.


Welcome to the human race...
I generally liked Evil Dead as well, though I had my issues with it (it had a rather clichÚd cold-open that only served to detract from the rest of the film) and it did a fairly serviceable split between straightforward horror and gory absurdity, plus the drug-addiction angle was an interesting addition. All things considered, I think it's worth at least a low
, which will probably make this next rating seem a little off to people...

I Saw the Devil -

I really just want you all angry and confused the whole time.
Iro's Top 100 Movies v3.0

Close-up (1990)

An unique masterpiece of its kind; an excellent docu-drama that depicts the story of the real-life trial of a man who impersonated a popular film-maker and conning a family into believing they would star in his new film. A very moving tale about human identity and a cinephile's 'crime' of passion.
It's brilliant, no doubt. The only other Kiarostami film I've seen so far is Certified Copy, and that one is superb as well. The atmosphere of mystery and ambiguity in both films kept me intrigued throughout.

But Close-Up is something special - so incredibly well done... Really made a big impact on me.

Batman v Superman, 3/5

Was a nice movie but not as nice as I expected

On Dangerous Ground (1951)

From the top 100 Noirs list, I strongly preferred the first half hour set in the city. The movie suddenly changes course for the last 50 minutes when the setting is the snowy countryside. Story wise, the first part has nothing to do with the second part. I'd say the main theme of the movie is the inner turmoil of the police officer, played by an excellent Robert Ryan. It's a good flick.

Come on y'all, let's predict Steve Freeling ratings together!

I think the next one is going to be between a
and a

But it's tough... It could be either one of them!

You mean me? Kei's cousin?
You're forgetting that I gave The X-Files: I Want to Believe a
Look, Dr. Lesh, we don't care about the disturbances, the pounding and the flashing, the screaming, the music. We just want you to find our little girl.

You mean me? Kei's cousin?
No way!

That must be your lowest rating ever. By your scale, that must mean you absolutely hated it then.
No. I actually liked it, just not as much as Fight the Future. I just, as a guideline don't watch movies I don't think I'll like. Also, I think I Want to Believe might improve on a second watch.