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Whatever it was, I don't remember it. Along with the other hundred movies I've seen that probably qualify as the worst ever.
What's the single worst film you've ever seen?
I could not possibly pick. The "worst" films are barely things we would think of as films, probably, so even defining it you kind of need to establish a minimum threshold of budget or talent or intent. It has to kind of be on a curve to be interesting or meaningful.
Looking through some of my lowest-rated films in the Seen Log (link will bring up each of yours with top-rated first), I find some examples that I can maybe generalize from. Like OSS 117: Lost in Rio, the follow-up to the original OSS 117 which I love. So right off the bat, there's an element of disappointment there, of getting a sequel to something that is weirdly nothing like it and appears not to have understood why the original was good in the first place. Similarly, there are just wildly long stretches in that film not where nothing funny happens, but where nothing even attempting to be funny is happening.
Another thing I usually end up hating is something that engages with a serious or controversial topic in a really shallow way, mostly regardless of whether its ideological polarity matches my own or not.
More broadly still, anything where I can't even figure out what they were trying to do. It's hard to hate something that merely fails, but it's a lot easier to hate something where I can't even picture what the ideal version of it might look like.
I'm sure more will come to me later.
Looking through some of my lowest-rated films in the Seen Log (link will bring up each of yours with top-rated first), I find some examples that I can maybe generalize from. Like OSS 117: Lost in Rio, the follow-up to the original OSS 117 which I love. So right off the bat, there's an element of disappointment there, of getting a sequel to something that is weirdly nothing like it and appears not to have understood why the original was good in the first place. Similarly, there are just wildly long stretches in that film not where nothing funny happens, but where nothing even attempting to be funny is happening.
Another thing I usually end up hating is something that engages with a serious or controversial topic in a really shallow way, mostly regardless of whether its ideological polarity matches my own or not.
More broadly still, anything where I can't even figure out what they were trying to do. It's hard to hate something that merely fails, but it's a lot easier to hate something where I can't even picture what the ideal version of it might look like.
I'm sure more will come to me later.
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Really, Junior hasn't been mentioned yet and that disturbs me.
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And oh yeah I guess The Room is up there. I adore it, too. But it is essentially a concussed child's view of what a movie is, something that has the shape of a film but no understanding of the stuff inside one to create that shape. It's like he was trying to build a house and just put up a bunch of scaffolding around where a house should have been. And in that sense, it sort of fulfills the criteria I mentioned above about taking a serious subject too casually. Except in this case it was not just the subject matter itself, but the entire idea of making a movie.
Sorry for the triple post, it was easier than forcing myself to stop and think more before pressing a button each time.
Sorry for the triple post, it was easier than forcing myself to stop and think more before pressing a button each time.
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There have been quote a few stinkers over the years: Stuff like Ultraviolet, Highlander II, The Happening, Solarbabies, Battlefield Earth...
Tough to answer for me, as I usually try to research a film at least a bit before I watch it to see if it is worth wasting my time on.
Tough to answer for me, as I usually try to research a film at least a bit before I watch it to see if it is worth wasting my time on.
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TIL OSS is a series that started in the 1960s (EDIT: 1950s!). Have you seen any of those older ones, Yoda?
Needless to say, I think you're overthinking it. The worst film is the one that gives you the worst vibes. It's that simple. But this is also nuanced, as obviously a documentary on the Holocaust gives you "bad" vibes as it should but it doesn't make it the worst. You kinda just feel it anyway, and I don't think it really has to do with the film's objective/technical quality. Also, being disappointed because the film wasn't what you had thought it would be is tricky and usually just insincere, but this largely depends on the specifics, of course.
Tssk, tssk, the admin himself triple-posting. It's allowed for all now!.
Needless to say, I think you're overthinking it. The worst film is the one that gives you the worst vibes. It's that simple. But this is also nuanced, as obviously a documentary on the Holocaust gives you "bad" vibes as it should but it doesn't make it the worst. You kinda just feel it anyway, and I don't think it really has to do with the film's objective/technical quality. Also, being disappointed because the film wasn't what you had thought it would be is tricky and usually just insincere, but this largely depends on the specifics, of course.
Tssk, tssk, the admin himself triple-posting. It's allowed for all now!.
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San Franciscan lesbian dwarves and their tomato orgies.
San Franciscan lesbian dwarves and their tomato orgies.
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Any Steven Seagal movie!
"When Peter Boyle saw audience members cheering the violence in Joe, he refused to appear in any other film or television show that glorified violence. This included the role of Jimmy "Popeye" Doyle in The French Connection (1971)."
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TIL OSS is a series that started in the 1960s (EDIT: 1950s!). Have you seen any of those older ones, Yoda?
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Lust for Frankenstein. I thought it would just be a cheesy sci-fi horror b-movie with some sexy scenes. Turned out to be a really fuzzy softcore porn film with ugly bodies having sex to psychedelic camera effects combined WITH the fuzz, terrible audio quality so you couldn't make out what was being said, and no plot or scares. So far, it's the only porn film I've ever seen. I mean, Frankenstein is one of my favorite books, and this movie ruined everything about it.
Screw you, Jesus Franco.
Screw you, Jesus Franco.
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Lust for Frankenstein. I thought it would just be a cheesy sci-fi horror b-movie with some sexy scenes. Turned out to be a really fuzzy softcore porn film with ugly bodies having sex to psychedelic camera effects combined WITH the fuzz, terrible audio quality so you couldn't make out what was being said, and no plot or scares. So far, it's the only porn film I've ever seen. I mean, Frankenstein is one of my favorite books, and this movie ruined everything about it.
Screw you, Jesus Franco.
Screw you, Jesus Franco.
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I have not! Are they at all similar?
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I've watched so many bad films and not the fun bad either but whatever my single worst film is it's probably a musical.
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"Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."
"Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."
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I've watched so many bad films and not the fun bad either but whatever my single worst film is it's probably a musical.
Mine is an obvious one: Monster a Go-Go. It's so bad, MST3K struggled to find anything to riff about it and that's saying something. Plus, it has the worst ending I've ever seen. It's not so bad, it's good, either. Just bad.
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Darn...."not available for streaming" or a $36 DVD. I think I will miss this one.
I was able to find a link to it on my tablet back when I saw it, but that thing's busted. Should work on a phone though.
And now's the part where I say, "What am I saying? Why am I offering this?" But to be honest, I think I want other people to really know how bad it is, otherwise I wouldn't have said it.
And whoever's charging $36 dollars for this needs to go back to preschool. PRESCHOOL.
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One of my favorite "worst" films is Jupiter Ascending (2015).
It's actually a sci-fi version of Cinderella, but the thing is it's got some pretty decent visual effects and a rather stunning color pallet.
In other words, it's beautiful to look at but still sucks just the same. Somehow the juxtaposition of beautiful visuals with totally lame everything else seems to make it suck all the more!
It's actually a sci-fi version of Cinderella, but the thing is it's got some pretty decent visual effects and a rather stunning color pallet.
In other words, it's beautiful to look at but still sucks just the same. Somehow the juxtaposition of beautiful visuals with totally lame everything else seems to make it suck all the more!
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The Thin Red Line 1998
The most pretentious, longwinded, and overrated movie ever. Oh God Hollywood marks out for Terrence Malick thinking hes the second coming. Nominating this babbling oppressive drivel for Best Picture was a slap in the face to quality itself. Let the guy go somewhere and be a nature photographer, but please by all means keep him away from a film crew.
The most pretentious, longwinded, and overrated movie ever. Oh God Hollywood marks out for Terrence Malick thinking hes the second coming. Nominating this babbling oppressive drivel for Best Picture was a slap in the face to quality itself. Let the guy go somewhere and be a nature photographer, but please by all means keep him away from a film crew.
I'm not objective enough to pick a "worst" film, but least favorite is definitely The Music Man.
The Music Man (Morton DaCosta, 1962)
Imdb
Date Watched: 10/16/19
Cinema or Home: Home
Reason For Watching: 20th MoFo Hall of Fame, nominated by Citizen Rules
Rewatch: No.
If my count is correct, this is my 16th Hall of Fame in five years. In all this time and all those threads, I've had to watch a lot of movies that I didn't want to watch. And through all those films, never have I had such a strong urge to research a film on Wikipedia and bulls*** my way through a review.
And damn do I wish I had. F*** integrity. I hated absolutely EVERYTHING about this film - the characters, the music, the songs, the pacing, the costumes, the story, and did I mention the songs? I was cringing so hard it felt like I was in actual pain and each song seemed somehow worse than the last - culminating in the absolutely horrid "Shipoopi" ("A woman who'll kiss on the very first date is usually a hussy"? F*** you, movie).
As for those characters? I wanted to reach through the screen and punch each one of them in the damn face. Yes, even little Ronny Howard (who I actually respect as a director). Actually maybe especially little Ronny Howard with his stupid lisp and his terrible singing. But then there's that idiot Susan Luckey as Zaneeta Shin, with her shrill voice and rage-inducing exclamations of "Ye Gods!" And the primary characters were no better. Harold Hill was a scumbag and Marian was a doe-eyed dumbass.
I am strongly reminded of my feelings for Bringing Up Baby in the 11th HOF, but - as much as I despise that film - it at least had the decency to keep its BS under two hours. If I had to sum up my experience with The Music Man in just a few words, I'd call it cruel and unusual punishment.
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The Music Man (Morton DaCosta, 1962)
Imdb
Date Watched: 10/16/19
Cinema or Home: Home
Reason For Watching: 20th MoFo Hall of Fame, nominated by Citizen Rules
Rewatch: No.
If my count is correct, this is my 16th Hall of Fame in five years. In all this time and all those threads, I've had to watch a lot of movies that I didn't want to watch. And through all those films, never have I had such a strong urge to research a film on Wikipedia and bulls*** my way through a review.
And damn do I wish I had. F*** integrity. I hated absolutely EVERYTHING about this film - the characters, the music, the songs, the pacing, the costumes, the story, and did I mention the songs? I was cringing so hard it felt like I was in actual pain and each song seemed somehow worse than the last - culminating in the absolutely horrid "Shipoopi" ("A woman who'll kiss on the very first date is usually a hussy"? F*** you, movie).
As for those characters? I wanted to reach through the screen and punch each one of them in the damn face. Yes, even little Ronny Howard (who I actually respect as a director). Actually maybe especially little Ronny Howard with his stupid lisp and his terrible singing. But then there's that idiot Susan Luckey as Zaneeta Shin, with her shrill voice and rage-inducing exclamations of "Ye Gods!" And the primary characters were no better. Harold Hill was a scumbag and Marian was a doe-eyed dumbass.
I am strongly reminded of my feelings for Bringing Up Baby in the 11th HOF, but - as much as I despise that film - it at least had the decency to keep its BS under two hours. If I had to sum up my experience with The Music Man in just a few words, I'd call it cruel and unusual punishment.
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"When Peter Boyle saw audience members cheering the violence in Joe, he refused to appear in any other film or television show that glorified violence. This included the role of Jimmy "Popeye" Doyle in The French Connection (1971)."
"Worst" is such an arbitrary concept that I don't know what to say. For example, since Allaby brought up Manos: The Hands of Fate, something I've said before is that I have more respect for that film – made by an inexperienced filmmaker with an inexperienced crew and a shoestring budget, and as a result of a bet – than I have for a big budget, nonsensical mess like Transformers, which is made by an "experienced" filmmaker.
Then you have stuff that is ineptly made, but often purposefully so. For example, Thankskilling – a film about a killer turkey – is by most metrics, a bad film full of bad acting, bad script, and bad production values. But at the same time, it has one of the most stupidly hilarious sequences I've seen on a film that had me in tears from laughing, so how can I fault it if that's what they were aiming for?
So in the end, I guess there's a mixture of the filmmakers original intent and resources, with my expectations of a film. That all factors into whether or not I consider it a "bad" film. Stuff like Speed 2 or A Good Day to Die Hard are good examples.
Then you have stuff that is ineptly made, but often purposefully so. For example, Thankskilling – a film about a killer turkey – is by most metrics, a bad film full of bad acting, bad script, and bad production values. But at the same time, it has one of the most stupidly hilarious sequences I've seen on a film that had me in tears from laughing, so how can I fault it if that's what they were aiming for?
So in the end, I guess there's a mixture of the filmmakers original intent and resources, with my expectations of a film. That all factors into whether or not I consider it a "bad" film. Stuff like Speed 2 or A Good Day to Die Hard are good examples.
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"Worst" is such an arbitrary concept that I don't know what to say. For example, since Allaby brought up Manos: The Hands of Fate, something I've said before is that I have more respect for that film – made by an inexperienced filmmaker with an inexperienced crew and a shoestring budget, and as a result of a bet – than I have for a big budget, nonsensical mess like Transformers, which is made by an "experienced" filmmaker.
Then you have stuff that is ineptly made, but often purposefully so. For example, Thankskilling – a film about a killer turkey – is by most metrics, a bad film full of bad acting, bad script, and bad production values. But at the same time, it has one of the most stupidly hilarious sequences I've seen on a film that had me in tears from laughing, so how can I fault it if that's what they were aiming for?
So in the end, I guess there's a mixture of the filmmakers original intent and resources, with my expectations of a film. That all factors into whether or not I consider it a "bad" film. Stuff like Speed 2 or A Good Day to Die Hard are good examples.
Then you have stuff that is ineptly made, but often purposefully so. For example, Thankskilling – a film about a killer turkey – is by most metrics, a bad film full of bad acting, bad script, and bad production values. But at the same time, it has one of the most stupidly hilarious sequences I've seen on a film that had me in tears from laughing, so how can I fault it if that's what they were aiming for?
So in the end, I guess there's a mixture of the filmmakers original intent and resources, with my expectations of a film. That all factors into whether or not I consider it a "bad" film. Stuff like Speed 2 or A Good Day to Die Hard are good examples.
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