Movies are back! Grab some popcorn and get ready to watch Space Jam 2: A New Legacy, the newest advertisement by Malcom D. Lee, director of such classics as Scary Movie V and Barbershop: The Next Cut. The product is set to come out July 16, on the 76th anniversary of the Trinity Test, the precursor to how we will all die! Don't let that get you down though, because July 16 is also national Corn Fritters day. I hate America, and I hate you!

The movie stars LeBron James, Don Cheadle, Cedric Jones, my uncle Steve, and some other people I can't bother to look up the names of. The plot is simple: An A.I played by Don Cheadle sucks LeBron James and his son into the Warner 3000 entertainment "Server-verse", in order to steal his Instagram followers. You might think I'm joking, but I'm dead ****ing serious. As a matter of fact, characters from Wonder Woman, Mad Max, and some low-grade indie film called Casablaca are said to appear. Movies aren't theme park rides, Martin Scorsese is a hack, and cinema can do no wrong in the hands of these fine gentlemen.

That's enough of my cynicism, what do you think? Are you excited for Ready Player One? Will you buy all the Looney Tunes toys like the little piggy you are? Am I breaking multiple rules with this post? Who knows!
Pictured: Don Cheadle presenting a fresh youngling to the Hollywood elite.
The movie stars LeBron James, Don Cheadle, Cedric Jones, my uncle Steve, and some other people I can't bother to look up the names of. The plot is simple: An A.I played by Don Cheadle sucks LeBron James and his son into the Warner 3000 entertainment "Server-verse", in order to steal his Instagram followers. You might think I'm joking, but I'm dead ****ing serious. As a matter of fact, characters from Wonder Woman, Mad Max, and some low-grade indie film called Casablaca are said to appear. Movies aren't theme park rides, Martin Scorsese is a hack, and cinema can do no wrong in the hands of these fine gentlemen.
"I hate the elderly" - LeBron James
That's enough of my cynicism, what do you think? Are you excited for Ready Player One? Will you buy all the Looney Tunes toys like the little piggy you are? Am I breaking multiple rules with this post? Who knows!