Optimus Reviews

"""" Hulk Smashhhh."""

04-06-16

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)
Directed By: Tom Six

The Story
I decided to rewatch this movie last night with a friend who has never seen it. I told him about how sick the whole trilogy is, and told him its one of the most disturbing movies i've ever seen, his response -- "Lets Watch it". Yep that's right, i watched this pile of crap yet again. The story is one of the sickest, one of the most disturbing, and one of the most shocking things i've ever seen. Honestly this movie makes the first movie seem like Bambi.... Bad example. If Bambi was attached to another Bambi's ass, then it would be like Bambi - you get the my point.

The Cast
The cast are terrible, but you probably already expected that anyway. I mean what half decent actor/actress would want to star in a movie where there attached ass to mouch and eat sh** out of the person infront of them anyway?. Even Tara Reid has higher standards than this crap.

Movie Trivia: When Tom Six was promoting The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) and starting to write the sequel, people would ask him about his idea from the first being copied in real life. This inspired him for the sequel.

On June 6, 2011, the BBFC (UK certification board) refused to grant this film a certificate, effectively banning the movie from being shown in cinemas or DVD in the UK. However, on October 6, 2011, the BBFC granted the film an 18 certificate after 32 cuts totaling 2 minutes and 37 seconds were made.

Tom Six shot "Full Sequence" in color, but was later told he had to change it to Black and white due to being too gory.

When Laurence R. Harvey auditioned, Tom Six asked him to "rape" a chair, which he did.

Movie Highlight
There is no movie highlight. Honestly, there's nothing i can say positive about this movie without coming across like a psychopath that wants to start his own human centipede. The movie is just beyond sick, especially the movies ending, i couldn't even open my eye's to watch It.

Verdict
My verict... Bad... Very bad... Shockingly bad.... Just stay away from this freakshow of a movie. It's not scary, its a complete fu** up of a film and i can't believe there is actually three of them now. Yep that's right.... Its a trilogy.

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Gideon58

Registered User

04-06-16

Originally Posted by Optimus

Get Hard
Directed By: Etan Cohen

The Story - The story is pretty much as stupid and as daft as it looks from the trailer. But coming from a Will Farell movie i expected that. What i didnt expect was this movie to suck as much as it did. I thought the story was very weak and the comedy was awful. I love Will Farrel, and even tho his movies are silly i still enjoy them. Elf, Step Brothers, and Old School are great. There daft but there still very funny and thats what i expected from Get Hard, but sadly that wasnt the case.

The Cast - The Cast where very dissapointing if ime totally honest. There was so much potential with Will Farrel and Kevin Hart in a movie together and they pretty much blew it with Get Hard. Both men are very funny, especially Kevin Hart, he's great. But theres nothing funny about Get Hard fot them to shine. Bad jokes, bad chemistry, and just a bad film if ime honest.

Movie Highlight - if i had to pick a scene that i enjoyed or a scene where i did crack a smile, then i'd have to go with ghetto Farrel. There is a scene where Will Farrel joins a black gang and they nickname him Mayo. He ends up meeting a black girl and he ends up about to do a hit on someone. Its a pretty funny scene and probably the funniest moment in the film.

Things i Disliked:

- Will Farrel and Kevin Hart didnt work well together. No comedy chemistry and just a total mis-match.

- No real humour. Everything joke is about prison rape.

- Will Farrel playing the same character we have seen numerous times, yet this time it feels annoying.

- The Film never seems to go anywhere. Its one silly gag after another and the film really struggles to find its feet.

Overall- I wouldnt recommend this movie to anyone. Its complete rubbish that even Will Farrel and Kevin Hard cant save it.

Wow, I really liked this movie. I respect your opinion, but I thought Get Hard was pretty funny.

Optimus

"""" Hulk Smashhhh."""

04-07-16

I hated it Gideon. I've actually never heard of anyone liking it.

Optimus

"""" Hulk Smashhhh."""

04-07-16

300
Directed By: Zack Snyder

The Story
Zack Snyder is like the marmite of the movie world. You either love him, or hate him, and his movies always seem to devide opinion. I myself am a huge fan of his work. Man Of Steel, Batman vs Superman, Watchmen, and Dawn Of The Dead are all great movies, but it's 300 that really shines out for me. Its his masterpiece some people might say, others might say its a pile if shite , but i say its one of the coolest movies i've ever seen. The story is shown and told to us like its straight from a comic book page. His eye for detail is dazzling. Everything from a bead of sweat to a drop of rain looks amazing. The battle scenes are fantastic, and the whole movie is a big ball sack of testosterone.

The Cast
The cast are great, especially Gerard Butler as King Leonidas. He's a CGI muscle bound spartan that looks like he's just came from a WWE video game. Rodrigo Santoro is also great as King Xerxes, unfortunately he looks like he came from the local gay bar rather than the WWE ring, but he's still great, and also rather scary.

Movie Trivia: In the movie, some of the Spartan men can be seen with trimmed beards or no facial hair at all. However, in accordance with ancient Greek custom, it was completely unacceptable to shave one's beard, lest they be marked as effeminate (even though someone could shave their moustache as long as they left the beard alone). The only time a beard was shaved was as the mark of a coward or as a sign of mourning.

(at around 41 mins) The quote, "Then we will fight in the shade," is an actual one from history, spoken by the Spartan warrior Dienekes when warned about the enemies' arrows. It is also used by Greeks today as emblems on soldier uniforms. (Greek: "Tha palepsoume sti ski�.")

Gerard Butler would spend on average 4 hours a day training in a gym for over 4 months to get in shape for the role of the king.

The unique look of the film was produced in post-production by using an effect nicknamed "the crush". As producer Jeffrey Silver explains on the film's official website - "you crush the black content of the image and enhance the color saturation to change the contrast ratio of the film."

Movie Highlight
My movie highlight is obvisouly the movies action. Its just amazing to watch. Its visually stunning, and the movies ending is just a spectacle. Every swing of a sword, shot of a arrow, and thump of shield looks unbelievable. There is just so much detail in this movie that everything looks and sounds amazing.

Verdict
Overall 300 is a great action movie. It may not be to everyone's taste, but it still deserves credit for.... Well everything about it

. After writing this review its got me in the mood for more Spartan action, so bring on the sequel. (Although it's not in the same league as this movie).

Miss Vicky

MoFo's Resident Bitch

04-07-16

I would definitely fall into the group who considers 300 a "pile of shite" (and Man of Steel was only marginally better), but nice write-up and I really like the way your reviews are formatted.

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Yoda

Administrator

04-07-16

The art style is so, so good though. It's a little overused now, but at the time it was a lot fresher.

Miss Vicky

MoFo's Resident Bitch

04-07-16

Originally Posted by Yoda

The art style is so, so good though. It's a little overused now, but at the time it was a lot fresher.

It's done well, but I don't like it. Didn't like it when it was new, either.

Optimus

"""" Hulk Smashhhh."""

04-07-16

Originally Posted by Miss Vicky

I would definitely fall into the group who considers 300 a "pile of shite" (and Man of Steel was only marginally better), but nice write-up and I really like the way your reviews are formatted.

Zack Snyder's movie all seem to devide opinion. My brother hates 300 and also thinks "its a pile of shite".

and also thanks for complement.

DalekbusterScreen5

I ain't afraid of no Daleks!

04-08-16

In terms of Batman VS Superman, I hate that they have gone for a very depressed-looking Superman for DC's Extended Universe judging by trailers I've seen for this and Man of Steel. Superman is supposed to be the optimistic hero to Batman's more cynical approach; why would you want to take a character like that and make him dark and brooding?

Optimus

"""" Hulk Smashhhh."""

04-08-16

Originally Posted by DalekbusterScreen5

I like that DC have made there movies dark and gritty. It's a different approach to what marvel have created and i like that.

DalekbusterScreen5

I ain't afraid of no Daleks!

04-08-16

Originally Posted by Optimus

I like that DC have made there movies dark and gritty. It's a different approach to what marvel have created and i like that.

I think it works with Batman due to the subject matter but Superman I struggle with. To me, Superman is supposed to be a triumphant story of an alien who lands on earth in an escape pod after his planet explodes and vows to protect the citizens of Earth from danger.

Optimus

"""" Hulk Smashhhh."""

04-08-16

Originally Posted by DalekbusterScreen5

That's what did happen in MOS, but Snyder took BvS is a very interesting direction.

Optimus

"""" Hulk Smashhhh."""

04-08-16

The Incredible Hulk
Directed By: Louis Leterrier

The Story
What could of been the strongest movie in the Marvel series was the weakest. What could of been the most impressive, was the least impressive, and what could of been the most exciting, was the dullest. That's my feelings towards The Incredible Hulk (2008) anyway. This was a movie with so much potential, and yet they stuck with a story that was pretty much similar to the 2003 version, which i probably enjoyed more to be honest. The story is basically one big 2 hour chase with nothing new or exciting from the Hulk's last outing. Sure he looks better, and he does do alot more Hulk smash, but it's still very dull, and he's certainly not a patch on The Avengers Hulk.

The Cast
Edward Nortan as Bruce Banner/Hulk is terrible, i hated it. He just didn't do the role justice at all, and he actually annoyed me for some reason. I felt like Liv Tyler just played Ann Darrow from King Kong. With the whole Hulk and Tyler (Darrow) relationship being like a scene from the Kong movie. Tim Roth is the movies saving grace as the movies villain... The Abomination. His character was very interesting, and the best thing about the movie.

Movie Trivia: Louis Letterier wanted Mark Ruffalo for the role of Bruce Banner, but Marvel insisted on Edward Norton. Ironically, Ruffalo would go on to replace Norton as Banner in Avengers Assemble (2012).

Edward Norton was cast as Bruce Banner on the recommendation of Lou Ferrigno, who had starred in The Incredible Hulk (1978) as the Hulk. Ferrigno stated that Edward Norton reminded him of the late Bill Bixby, who acted beside him as David Banner (a version of the same character Norton plays). Norton, who a big fan of the series, had also portrayed a similar character in Fight Club (1999).

Edward Norton, who had previously rewritten films he starred in, wrote a draft of the script which Louis Leterrier and Marvel Studios found satisfactory in establishing the film as a reboot of Hulk (2003). As Norton explained, "I don't think that in great literature/films explaining the story's roots means it comes in the beginning. Audiences know the story, so we're dealing with it artfully." Norton's rewrite added the character of Doc Samson and mentioned references to other Marvel Comics characters. He also wanted to put in "revelations about what set the whole thing in motion" that would be explained in future installments.

Movie Highlight
My movie highlight is when Ed Nortan is off my screen and The Hulk is on it. Watching the final showdown between Hulk and The Abomination is pretty cool. Two beast's throwing down in the middle of the street, smashing and throwing everything in site is exactly what we want to see from a hulk movie right?, well its what i want to see anyway.

Verdict
Overall very average movie if ime totally honest. Its by far the weakest movie in the whole Avengers/Marvel universe thing they have going on. And its a real shame because it should of been the best. I'd really love to see another stand alone Hulk movie with Ruffalo as Banner, i think that would be pretty cool.

cricket

Msg

Registered User

04-08-16

Haha I like that review of Centipede 2. It is one of the sickest movies I've seen as well, and I like it.

Haven't seen 300 yet but I'd like to.

I don't even remember The Incredible Hulk, but I know I didn't care for it.

Gatsby

Msg

Master of My Domain

04-08-16

Meh, personally I don't see the merit of 300 gym buddies fighting weird animal-human hybrid Persians with an Instragram filter as a background, which causes the blotting of many interesting details.

I do agree with you on The Incredible Hulk - bad movie, bad!

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Optimus

"""" Hulk Smashhhh."""

04-09-16

Originally Posted by cricket

You liked it?. Haha, seriously?. Have you seen The Human Centipede 3.?

DalekbusterScreen5

I ain't afraid of no Daleks!

04-09-16

I'd like to see a Mark Ruffalo Hulk movie, although maybe the reasons why the two Incredible Hulk movies haven't worked is because the character doesn't lend itself to solo outings?

Optimus