MACK where have you been?
Busy Nebs! Busy. But its nice to get a minute to pop back in every once in awhile - ebbs and flows, ya'know?
@Sexy - its likely youre right, but you know, Im thinking that if a person is that problematic, as in - needs professional help problematic - a friend isnt really equipped to put up with that in the long term. The friendship will end badly if its lopsided in dependency (unless its also romantic, and is very traditional in gender roles, and its the woman dependent on the man - I have one of those now, and after 15+ years, he's finally cracking under the pressure), because a friend is a friend, not a babysitter or a parent.
most normal people find living together other normal people trying on a friendship. I have two now who arent admitting it, but they are finally trying to separate their roommate status...nicely, and they're having a hard time getting it done. There is always a lopsided power dynamic, and I warned the one with financial power that she shouldnt let the one with emotional power live with her (I wouldnt let the emotional power one live with me, either) rent free, because it would twist and potentially ruin their healthy friendship.
Lets just say that years later...Im right.
Bottom line?
1. No one who is not immediately related to me by blood, or in a reciprocal romantic relationship should be able to make me uncomfortable in my own home. They leave, or I leave. Preferably BEFORE the situation escalates out of control (e.g. fisticuffs, police, broken belongings, things irrevocably said that shouldnt have been said.)
2. There is nothing wrong with sitting down and discussing the situation like adults. Example: I'm unhappy. This will demonstrably change within 1 month, or you will move out. No change? You have 3 months to amass a security deposit, and 1st and last months rents for yourself, or find other housing. This is your move-out date:____________. Alternatively, you can simply say nothing, but amass your own move out funds, and secure other housing - if youre nice, and dont fear retaliation, you can even tell them in enough time for them to find another roommate.
Problem solved.
The reason any problem is not solved, is because we arent sick enough of it to actually solve it, assuming we can. If you cant solve it - youre stuck. If you can solve it, and dont? Nothing can be done until you do it. Wishing it were better doesnt make it better - steps must be taken. Either youre really tired of it, and will take those steps, or you just want to complain about it, but then do nothing.
Pissed? Put him out. Problem solved.
That's what Im saying.