A Few Things You Should Know About Vin Diesel

"Vin Diesel coined the term "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" before he ate every unicorn in existence...

"Vin Diesel once pissed a detailed map of London's underground into the snow.

"Vin Diesel is really Thor, Norse God of Thunder. "

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Review: Cabin in the Woods 8/10

Vin Diesel once built men out of cannabis and brought them to life with his own bile. The result was the band Genesis.

AND THAT WAS ONLY MY FIRST ONE!!!!

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"Sleep is the best form of meditation."- Dalai Lama

I'm laughing my head off at these!

"Vin Diesel invented the Heimlich Manouver, not to save lives, but to murder Bob Saget."

I've been frequenting that site for about a month, all of my away messages are from that site. Hilarious. Just hilarious.

'The Great Depression was actually caused when Vin Diesel forgot to sign one of his checks.'.....

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"Seismology is the study of Vin Diesel's masturbation habits."

If one were to make a rope out of Vin Diesel's arm-pit hair, they would soon find that it works, quite effectivly, as a lasso of truth, giving rise to the question; when did Wonder Woman have access to these materials?

You gave me a nice break from work Sammy. Very fun...and nice picture.


Here are a few more random facts...

• Vin Diesel's biological mother is Wonder Woman.

• Vin Diesel once ate Gwen Stefani with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. He then threw her back up into a bowl made of silver and moonlight. The song "Hollaback Girl" is about her experiences in his digestive tract.

• A diamond may say you love her, but a Vin Diesel is forever.

• Goliath threw the match against David when he heard the winner had to face Vin Diesel.

• When Vin Diesel is sad, magical puppies appear to cheer him up.

• Bruce Campbell is the only being in our dimension capable of killing Vin Diesel, but the vacuum left by his absence would collapse the universe. To this day, the actors refuse to be wthin a thousand miles of eachother's presence.

Vin Diesel was created using sperm from Liberace, Rob Halford, and all Three Stooges.

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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
Buddha

Vin Diesel recently added 'moose' to his "Animals That Tried to Fight Me and Lost" list. ahahahahaha

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"You, me, everyone...we are all made of star stuff." - Neil Degrasse Tyson

https://shawnsmovienight.blogspot.com/

Vin Diesel's first appearence on screen was in the hit movie "Alien", where he burst out of a mans chest at a dinner table.

Vin Diesel got so angry at a mountain blocking his path that he punched it as hard as he could. Some of the pieces came back down and are now called Stonehenge. The part that didn't became the moon.

Vin Diesel defeated Neo-Hitler and Neo-Stalin in an epic contest of strength. Their fight destroyed three planets and extended Vin Diesel's penis length at least three inches

Vin Diesel regularly beats up the entire population of France.

And I thought it was going to be Vin Diesel break-dancing

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AAAAHAHAHAHA!! In fairness now, he looks about 15 there, and I think many of us are lucky that no one was rolling tape on us at that age. Still though... hehehehehehehehe!!

Vin Diesel's brain waves are audible to bats, and he uses them to get the bats to fly into his mouth. He has not sat down for a meal in twelve years.

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Pumpkins scream in the DEAD of night!

So I turn on the radio in the car this morning and I hear Holloback Girl...

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Because I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl [x2]

Ooooh ooh, this my *****, this my ***** [x4]

Let me hear you say this ***** is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
(This **** is bananas)
(B-A-N-A-N-A-S)

Again
This ***** is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
(This ***** is bananas)
(B-A-N-A-N-A-S)

...and I just start giggling because it made me wonder about Vin Diesel and his digestive tract. I don't think I can hear that song now without thinking about Vin.

That song finally makes a little sense…

A few times I've been around that track
bwah!!!

Bruce Campbell is the only being in our dimension capable of killing Vin Diesel, but the vacuum left by his absence would collapse the universe. To this day, the actors refuse to be wthin a thousand miles of eachother's presence.

ahahahahahhahahahah go Bruce

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"War is hell Rasputin and im sleepy."

Vin Diesel regularly had unprotected sex with Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury just to prove he's immune to the AIDS virus. Obviously, he was. Freddie Mercury died and Magic Johnson's talk show was a miserable failure, and Vin is as successful as ever.

"Vin Diesel can morph into an alpaca, and no matter how much you shear him, there is always more hair. Vin's hair in alpaca form in 80% steel, 15% flexible carbon-based polymer, and 5% unknown, highly radioactive isotope that scientists have nicknamed, "The Sperm Ruiner."

And I thought it was just me....

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"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how the Tatty 100 is done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves." - Brendan Behan