The Chumscrubber, which I watched purely on a whim.
It's a thoroughly hollow excuse for an art film that attempts to tell the message that "kids should talk to their parents" when in the movie, the kids are blatantly and unrealistically transparent about everything they do and the parents have no reaction whatsoever. The entire plot revolves around a bully that wants a drug dealer's friend to go fetch his drugs, when later it's shown the bully doesn't care whether he breaks into somebody's house, kidnaps a kid, and stabs him repeatedly. If he just went and got the drugs himself the movie would literally be over in 5 minutes.
To set the tone for this movie, it opens with a monologue explaining that the town in which it takes place is the most perfect place on earth where nothing goes wrong, WHEN SUDDENLY A DRUG DEALER DIES.
I watched this alone and was simply overcome with how infuriatingly stupid, pretentious, and empty the whole movie was.
I then watched this with a friend who hadn't seen it before and we both came out in tears of laughter.
Beyond the Black Rainbow, which I saw because the instantly fascinating trailer which BLED 80s retrofuturism.
I then watched it, and discovered, much like Cloud Atlas, that it was basically an awesome trailer stretched painfully thin across two hours of NOTHING. Actually, that's unfair, Cloud Atlas was just two hours of BORING, whereas Beyond the Black Rainbow was two hours of SITTING AT THE EDGE OF MY SEAT... WAITING... FOR SOMETHING... TO HAPPEN.
Every scene is dragged out for an eternity and two people having a quiet conversation is AGONIZINGLY slow.
That wouldn't be enough to "make me mad" though, if not for the completely OMGWTF ending:
WARNING: "Beyond The Black Rainbow" spoilers below
After killing multiple people for no reason and stalking down the protagonist for no reason, the villain trips over a rock and dies instantly.
NO. He wasn't pushed.
NO. It wasn't a cliff.
NO. He was seriously just standing in the middle of some bushes.
He literally takes one step towards her and flat terrain kills him on the spot.
After killing multiple people for no reason and stalking down the protagonist for no reason, the villain trips over a rock and dies instantly.
NO. He wasn't pushed.
NO. It wasn't a cliff.
NO. He was seriously just standing in the middle of some bushes.
He literally takes one step towards her and flat terrain kills him on the spot.
The only good thing about this movie is the soundtrack which is
A. totally awesome, and
B. totally isn't for sale on CD.
DAMMIT.
The Hunger Games. WHYYY.
Why isn't Deus Ex Genetically Engineered ManDog not a sufficient complaint?
Stupid Characters, Stupid Romance, Plot Contrivances, and Plot Holes SO BIG THEY INVALIDATE HALF THE MOVIE.
Here's a question: Whatsherface is supposed keep her cool and not spit in the smug upperclasses' face because she's trying to accumulate sponsors so she gets an edge in the competition right? You know how much of the movie that takes? You know that EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY PUSH HER THIS WAY, THEY'RE BUILDING UP THIS PAYOFF?
THERE'S NO PAYOFF.
There are only three scenes in this whole movie in which "sponsors" offer support. One is from her personal trainer who she didn't need to win over anyway, another is offered in equal parts to all remaining players so there's no 'advantage', and the last is the big pile of weapons and supplies that start at the beginning of the competition which is established IMMEDIATELY as a death zone and in that case the more equipment sponsors contributed to it, the more equipment everyone else can use AGAINST YOU.
That whole insufferable first half of the movie in which she's forced to bite her lip is a complete WASTE, and it's obviously not intentional.
What gets me most is that this movie spread friggen' everywhere. I can't play a free-for-all survival game in Halo without it being called "HUNGER GAMES".
Why are we giving so much damn credit to a movie that was objectively worse than The Condemned, The Running Man, and ******* BATTLE ROYALE.
I'd rather watch an exploitation movie that clearly only exists to violently eviscerate schoolkids than THIS DREK.
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