Here's my
actual dating profile:
(No, not really)
Hi, I’m Minio, a 29-year-old cinephile. I have dedicated my life to watching, analyzing, and reviewing the most obscure, avant-garde, experimental, and underground films ever made. I have seen over 17,000 films from all over the world, spanning from the silent era to the present day, from the classics to the cults, from the mainstream to the marginal. I have a Ph.D. in film studies from Marguerite Duras University, where I wrote my dissertation on the influence of Soviet montage on postmodern cinema. I also have a collection of rare and original film posters, memorabilia, and DVDs that I display proudly in my home theater.
I’m looking for someone who shares my passion and enthusiasm for film, who can keep up with me in a lively and intelligent conversation about cinema, and who can challenge me with their own opinions and insights. I want someone who can introduce me to new and exciting films that I haven’t seen before. I’m looking for someone who is:
- Not afraid to explore the dark, the weird, the controversial, and the unconventional aspects of film.
- Not easily offended or disgusted by what they see on screen.
- Open-minded and adventurous enough to appreciate the beauty and the artistry of film in all its forms.
If you think you are that person, then please send me a message with your top 10 favorite films of all time (and don’t even think about mentioning any of these Pseudo-Oscarbait-Bourgeoisie-Kitsch-Freudian-Trite-Pretentious-Overblown-Bombastic-Manipulative-Cookie-Cutter-Generic--Hackish films that only children and people who haven’t seen 3,000 impossibly obscure Russian arthouse films like). If you impress me with your choices, then maybe we can go on a date to watch one of these gems:
- Méditerranée (1963)
- Benilde ou a Virgem Mãe [Benilde or the Virgin Mother] (1975)
- La vallée close [The Enclosed Valley] (1995)
- Drancy avenir [Drancy Future] (1997)
- OL連続レイプ 巨乳むさぼる [Office Lady Rape: Devouring the Giant ****] (1990)
If you don’t know any of these films or directors, then please do yourself a favor and educate yourself before contacting me. I don’t have time or patience for ignorant and shallow people who only watch movies for entertainment or escapism. I only want to connect with serious and passionate cinephiles who can appreciate film as an art form and a way of life.
If you are still reading this and think you have what it takes to be my partner in crime (and in film), then I look forward to hearing from you soon. But be warned: I’m very selective and demanding when it comes to dating. I expect nothing but the best from myself and from you. If you can’t handle me at my worst (which is when I rant about how much I hate Hollywood and its braindead audience), then you don’t deserve me at my best (which is when I cuddle with you on the couch while watching a masterpiece by Andrei Tarkovsky).
So what are you waiting for? Swipe right and let’s start our cinematic adventure together. Trust me, it will be an unforgettable experience that will change your life forever.