Before A Possible "Meet-Up", Do You Ask If They're Vaccinated?

Let's say you started talking to a girl you've known a long time and wanted to have a nice weekend together.

If you were vaccinated, would you ask her if she was vaccinated? Would a "No" be a game-changer, or does it depend on the woman?

I supposed I could lie, but I won't do that. "No I won't do that!"
(Vegetarian Loaf - I would do anything for love, but I won't eat meat)

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Personally, I wouldn't ask. I would feel that it is her business and it could potentially make her uncomfortable or lead to an argument if I asked.

I wouldn't, and I wouldn't care if I knew.

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The question isn't what would we do.

The question is what you care about and what you are comfortable with.

Would you be comfortable spending time indoors with someone who was unvaccinated? What about unvaccinated and unmasked and not distancing? Unvaccinated, outdoors and not distancing? If the answers are yes, then there's no point in asking.

If you do care, you should ask. And if she's not a piece of garbage, she will answer you honestly.

If I get COVID, I would have to stay home from work, which would place a tremendous burden on me to create days worth of sub plans, and it would put a strain on our school because there is a severe sub shortage. So I am not going on dates with anyone who is unvaccinated, indoors or outdoors. From my own comfort and risk analysis, vaccination is a dealbreaker for me.

But you might have different circumstances and different standards of safety and comfort. So decide YOUR level of comfort and proceed from there.

Where I live there's a vaccine mandate in effect, so if we actually wanted to go anywhere, I would find out their status pretty fast. Asking first would help avoid any surprises. To the extent that I've been invited to gatherings over the last year, the question has always come up right away.


In this insane hypothetical where I managed to land a date, I would absolutely ask. And if they refuse to answer, I would assume they weren't vaccinated.


But that's based on my comfort level. You do you.

I'm assuming this is a hypothetical question.

If asking a potential date and/or friend if they are vaccinated is a game-changer, then who needs that kind of date or friend.

I wouldn't ask. The response could be a lie, but the main reason is that I don't rely on anybody else for my protection.

So there lies a pretty huge contradiction...


i agree though, however, that someone not willing to fully communicate or give information on any topic is a sign that they might not be right for you.

Obviously there are a lot of things about a new romantic person where we have to depend on their honesty. I don't think it's a contradiction, per se. Yes, someone could lie about their vaccine status, but I think it's not hard to ask someone in a way that doesn't incentivize them to lie.

If I wanted to know if a potential date was vaccinated, I'd just say, "So I know that people have different feelings about what's safe these days COVID-wise. What are you comfortable with in terms of indoors/outdoors, masking, etc?" An answer to that question almost always involves someone telling you their vaccination status. If someone says they are comfortable not masking but don't mention their vaccination status, I'd bet good money they are not vaccinated.

I assume that this would be leading up to romance/a relationship, so I would absolutely ask (him, in my case, since I wouldn't likely be dating a woman) and not just as a way to protect myself from the virus. Vaccines have become extremely politicized and the response could point to deal-breaker territory for me.

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I've been attracted to a few women over the years. If there was mutual attraction and both of us were otherwise unattached, I wouldn't say no. I'm definitely far more interested in men, though.

Impression : If you hesitate to ask her, the question means "are you protecting me". If the question meant "are you protected against me", you wouldn't be hesitating.

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yes, I always ask. it's a deal breaker for me.

Personally I feel it's a little bit intrusive. I wouldn't love it if I went in for that first kiss and she asked me if I had any stds. I think going into a relationship it would be nice to show a little bit of good faith. It also depends on how afraid you are of contracting covid. If the girl is unvaccinated, it may hardly change the overall odds of you getting it. It's everywhere you go anyway, and vaccinated people get it and spread it as well. So how much does it matter? It matters a little, but if that little bit means a lot to you, you probably should be staying away from as many people as you can regardless of their vaccination status. Also, if she's unvaccinated, you're much more likely to get her seriously ill than vice versa. If you're vaccinated, you already protected yourself in the best way possible. Absolutely do not ask the question in order to judge her personality or character as you will be making an enormous mistake.

For me, that’s beside the point. Who wants to date an anti-vaxxer, which they must be if, at this stage of the pandemic, they’re not vaccinated?

This pandemic would be over by now (or, at least, ameliorated) if everyone was vaccinated. These people are dangerous & selfish.

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I see this way of thinking to be dangerous and scary, and please don't think I'm criticizing you, because everybody views things differently. I'm just critical of that notion. What you are saying, without actually saying it, is that black people are more likely than other racial groups to be dangerous and selfish. Now of course I know you weren't thinking this, but blacks are less likely to be vaccinated. I know some black people who hear these things on a regular basis, and some of them are deeply offended by people with these ideas. Some of them consider it to be racist, an idea that I completely disagree with. The point is that when you paint a group of people (the unvaccinated) with a broad brush, there can be unintended harmful consequences. People should be looked at as individuals, as there are a number of factors that could play into a person's decision. Obviously, there are unvaccinated people who are extremely kind and live like saints, while there are many vaccinated people who are rotten and reckless. When I read a complaint like this, what I'm really reading is I am better than you and my life has more value. I think it's a horrible judgment based on a different point of view. I keep hearing how all of the selfless people are getting vaccinated, kind of interesting I think since the main beneficiary of being vaccinated is that person. If a person was truly selfless, I think they would have some understanding and tolerance for people who make choices that they do not agree with, even if that tolerance and understanding wasn't reciprocated. It has never occurred to me to judge someone based upon their vaccination status, and I can say for certain that it hasn't caused pain for me or anyone else.

LOL. Says the person who’s telling me not to judge others.

Not saying that you're thinking that, it's just how I interpret that type of language.