Ugh, this film. So good.
When I watch a movie, I'm always narrative first. The majority of my attention is wrapped up in the more literal details of who/what/when/where/why. So what a delight to get to revisit this movie---a movie I first watched about a year ago (February 3rd)--and let my eye wander to all of the amazing visual details.
It's little things, like the fact that when Nora and Hae Sung first meet up in New York we get a brief flashback to their childhood selves inside the large sculptures of faces facing each other. But in the present, each of them is in front of a carving of a woman and those women are facing away from each other.
This is such a great portrayal of adult relationships, where the film isn't just empathetic, but the characters genuinely care about each other. I especially love the way that the movie extends this to Hae Sung and Arthur, a sort of mutual respect for the feelings that the other man must be having, and even the notion that loving the same woman is a kind of relationship, and not one that has to be destructive.
I also like the way that the movie positions happiness. Arthur asks Nora in succession, "Are you happy? Is this what you imagined?", as if those two things have to be the same.
Finally, this time around I really appreciated the way that Nora unabashedly puts her professional ambitions first. And this isn't framed as a bad thing, or something that's keeping her from finding love. It's just part of how she chooses to prioritize things in her life, and something that her husband appreciates about her. (I love that when he half-jokingly asks if she might leave him for Hae Sung, she replies, "You know I wouldn't miss my rehearsals for some dude.").
I think that the way that we regard the past (good and bad) has a huge impact on how we live in the present. One of my own biggest "what ifs" regards the fact that there's an alternate universe where I'm married to a chemistry professor and we have a little house and a 10 year old child in Iowa. Just like the first time I watched this film, I had to reflect on that a bit, but it's a relief to know that, unlike Hae Sung, it's not something that paralyzes me or keeps me from loving the life that I do have. Still, whenever the chemistry professor and I see each other (about every 5 years), there's this energy between us of that could-have-been. It's not a bad energy, just an interesting thing to feel.
Here's what I wrote about it the first time I watched it, and my feelings about it are still very much the same.
Heartfelt and deeply empathetic to its characters, this is a fantastic drama.
Life is full of choices large and small, and even someone who is not prone to feeling regret might still find themselves wondering how their life might be different---for better or for worse---if they’d taken a different path.
What gives this film a certain maturity over other movies with similar plots is that Nora is not stuck in a rut, in a bad marriage, or otherwise in a rough situation. She is experiencing maybe a normal level of mid-life reflection---sort of “Oh, so this is my life. This is it.”---but she’s thrown into a deeper turmoil as she reacts to the emotional weight of Hae Sung’s attentions.
While the film largely centers on Nora, and in particular how her feelings shift as she spends time with Hae Sung and how she is forced to reflect on her marriage to Arthur (John Magaro), Hae Sung is the person whose emotions are more volatile. It is hard to watch at times, the way that Hae Sung feels the sting of lost possibility. His trip speaks to someone who needs something to happen, who is holding onto the hope of an impossible outcome. In the moment, of course, he isn’t trying to tempt Nora away from her husband. He doesn’t really seem to think that she will run away with him. But it is clear that he has never been able to find closure regarding Nora, and this lack of closure has kept him from maybe building more relationships in his life.
The central performances from Lee and Yoo are stunning. They both play characters who let politeness and calm sit over emotions that come closer to a simmer as they spend more time together. Magaro is very good in his supporting role as Nora’s husband. While he is unable to fully suppress his jealousy, he is loving and supportive of his wife. It is under Arthur’s patient questioning that Nora is forced to confront her feelings about what is happening. I had to laugh a bit when Arthur asks Nora if Hae Sung is good looking. The answer, of course, is OMG YES. Nora’s reluctance to answer this question honestly---”Yeah, now that you mention it, he’s a total babe”---seems to have as much to do with being diplomatic as with the fact that Nora herself might be studiously trying to ignore that fact.
Through the film, Nora frames her relationship with Hae Sung in terms of the concept of inyeon, the idea that the relationship between people in the present is defined by their relationship in their past lives. It is a very interesting notion when it comes to reconciling those very normal feelings of regret and what ifs. In a lovely choice, the film has a touching scene where Hae Sung and Arthur discuss the idea, abstracting it away from just being an idea centered on romance.
There was nothing about this movie I didn’t think was great. The performances, the writing, and the way that it was filmed that centered the characters in time and place just sang for me. This is a movie that is all about the internal workings of its characters. There are no villains, just good people trying to make sense of their lives, and trying to come to terms with the fact that you cannot walk two paths in life.
Very glad to have caught this lovely film on the big screen.
Reply to Topic
