Awkward movie choice?

So your parents and grandparents are going over to your place since you promised to put a film on for everyone. Little do they know if you don't put a film on for them the world will blow up. To your horror you realise all of your DVDs have been stolen accept for some films. All of which ghastly inappropriate for a family viewing experience. All the streaming services are down as well and it's too late in the evening to run to HMV


Here are your options 👇


The human centipede
Nymphomaniac
Audition
The house that Jack built
Forest Gump 👈 The disc has been replaced with an X rated movie. Do you take a chance on the x-rated movie? I mean it could contain all manners of perversion. Or do you choose one of the four obscene films from above. You're choice.

I think Audition is the safe play here. The majority of the film is a romantic comedy, and they'd probably be asleep or reading the paper by the end.


EDIT: I just realized that you said grandparents and parents. This makes it trickier... Allaby might be right. The House That Jack Built might be the way to go.

__________________
Letterboxd

The house that Jack built would be my pick. I think it is the least offensive option.

Just a reminder that the house of Jack built does have the scene where he murders two kids in front of their mother and have her force feed them apple pie 😂 I'm sure you remember that scene but maybe it will change your mind. But yeah I would probably choose the house that Jack built compared to the other two.

Nah you would break into HMV late at night and grab the film cuties 😂 Jk

I'd go with Audition, and start distracting them during the ending.

HMV closed all their Canadian locations a few years ago. I used to go there regularly. Cuties hasn't been released on physical media. It is a Netflix only release. I think Criterion should release it.

I mean, I’ve seen Nymphomaniac with my parents on multiple occasions, and I think my grandparents, while not necessarily accustomed to that sort of thing, might have found it enlightening… Especially the ending of Part 2.

Audition.

I really don't see the furore over Cuties. It's a good film. Should be barely controversial in my opinion.

True, but look at all the other choices. I still say it's probably the most acceptable. I'm definitely not putting a porno on of any kind. Audition's ending will scar them (not to mention the puke bowl scene). Nymphomaniac and the Human Centipede are not happening. lol That leaves two kids getting killed in front of their mother.