I mean, there is the running joke about Maude stealing cars. I agree that's inconsiderate. Harold faking suicides in front of his would-be brides is unkind/cruel, but I'd again argue that it's illustrative of him playing "inside" the dynamic that his mother has created, and something he's grown out of by the end of the film. I'd also argue that the scenes are really well constructed comedy--contrasting Harold's elaborate set-ups with the reaction of the young women with the indifference of his mother. The fact that the mother doesn't stop setting up these meetings also says something, doesn't it?
Oh yeah, they're quite funny sometimes (or I remember them being so, it was awhile ago). I found the humor weirdly dissonant, I guess (more on that in a second), but in a vacuum it's pretty amusing.
I think that a lot of comedies present us with inconsiderate main characters.
Definitely true. I'd say often that's where the humor comes from: our recognition of how inappropriate the behavior is.
Maybe you're saying you don't think that a film can have it both ways (ie that a film can't both ask us to laugh along with bad behavior AND condemn that behavior)
I think a film can, but I think it's a really delicate thing, and in fairness to you or anyone else who doesn't really vibe with what I'm saying, I think it's particularly difficult to explain where that line is.
Maybe part of it is that I think of
Harold and Maude only as a "comedy" in the "not a tragedy" sense, since the comedy's a little morbid and a little offbeat. It's not a "straight" comedy, in other words. It's not
Animal House (which I don't feel has contributed in any way towards violence against stringed instruments).
Maybe that's it: not that a film can't ask us to both laugh at a thing and condemn it, but that it's really hard for a film to be an absurd comedy one moment and a very seriously look at trauma the next. That's a fine line to walk, I suppose, and I imagine what makes it work for one person and not another is just as fine.
EDIT: I'll also add that "like" is a bit simplified in terms of how I feel about the main characters. I honestly found Maude kind of obnoxious and stressful, and I recognized in Harold many, many students who did not know how to direct their angst in a productive way. But the film effectively builds empathy for them and both go through a compelling personal arc.
Yeah, fair enough, some of what I'm saying may only apply to people who really did just straight-up like them. The group here seems to pretty much run the gamut from "I want to punch him" to "I sympathize but don't exactly like them" to "I like them and I take all the specific actions as mere symbols."