The Bat Movies

Batman & Robin
Original Release Date: June 20, 1997

The film begins with a trip to the Gotham Museum of Art, because a guy named Freeze wants to steal some diamonds to bring his frozen wife back too life. And Freeze is frozen too, because he fell into a a big vat of some frosty toxins while researching a cure. There's a scene where Bruce Wayne and Chris O'Donnell's Robin watch video footage of the accident. I completely lmao at maximum at this flashback scene of Freeze falling into the vat. It is amazing. Arnold Schwarzenegger, a doctor, is calmly standing at a desk, and then randomly falls backwards screaming into the dreaded vat. I tried to go find a video of it on YouTube, but it wasn't there. All-time great scene. Also, there's this girl named Pamela Isley. She works for a doctor too, an insane doctor named Dr. Woodrue. He messes and mixes around with steroids and venom, creating Mr. Bane. After that, he tries to kill his employee Pamela Isley with poison, who is a big nerd hipster obsessed with nature. But instead of killing her, the poison turns her into an attractive combination of a Greek Goddess Aphrodite Pagan Hippie aka Posion Ivy.

So there's a Doctor Freeze who has a frozen wife, who also froze by randomly falling into a vat of toxins while researching the cure for his frozen wife, and there's another doctor who has a hippie girl working for him who gets poisoned too. This is outstanding story writing, I am convinced. Okay, where are we, *checks notes*, oh- Poison Ivy's lips are filled with venom, and she's the embodiment representation of raging postmodern philosophy. She calls a policeman a Fascist bulldog. She proclaims Batman and Robin are the militant arm of the warm-blooded oppressors. After she joins up with Mr Freeze, she manipulates him from unleashing his revenge rage not just on Batman and Robin, but on the entire society that created them too! Fascinating. I'm happy I had a class last year that studied 1990s films through a postmodernism lens, and it created whole new layers and dimensions to stories that otherwise would've flown over my head. On top of that charm, there's also some absolutely amazing lines all within a one-minute span at one point. Poison Ivy and Bane rescue Freeze from Arkham Asylum, bringing his big ridiculous armor suit, to which he proclaims, "A laundry service that delivers, WOW!" Shortly after, upon finding more diamonds to steal, Poison Ivy announces, "I'll help you grab your rocks!" When the three escape from Arkham, Freeze shouts, "I hope Mr. Bane can swim!" *Then they jump off a 8 million foot cliff into a river.

In the first part of the movie, Alicia Silverstone struck me as aggravating, set against how engaging Uma Thurman's Ivy was. Interestingly, it flipped by the end. Meanwhile, at the batcave, Alfred is sick and dying, and there's actually a central heart to the story with George Clooney's Batman having flashbacks to his childhood, and Alfred as a father figure. But then there's a scene by Alfred's bedside where Bruce gets, like, noticably affectionate, and it's suddenly super weird, a single moment that was like a wtf-what-was-that? mind-scramble. There's a jungle of postmodernism here to explore, yet at the same time can be enjoyed on the surface as well. There's a moment too where Robin tries to save Silverstone's Batgirl, yet there's a gender role-reversal where Batgirl saves Robin instead. Time to thaw the ice over our dead-serious movie hearts. Forget everything you know, or think you know, total 1990's time capsule by Joel Schumacher. There's even a point where I'd love to hang around right now and organize this more, but I've gotta head to sleep before ANOTHER night shift this evening. Await your ideas @cat_sidhe ! Put it in the books. Some lyrics from R Kelly's end credits song.

A city of justice, a city of love
A city of peace, for everyone of us
We all need it, can't live without it
Gotham City
Don't you want one
Please excuse me, gotta go watch Freeze fall in the vat again. Oh gah, didn't even get to his change of heart where Freeze cures Alfred.

Rating: + 7.5 / 10

Gotham City - by R Kelly

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