MISS VICKY
CRICKET
2017
I, Miss Vicky, confirm my candidacy for MoFo President in the upcoming 2017 election.
I won’t run my campaign on a bunch of vague, empty promises, but rather a solid platform built on the knowledge that MoFo is great and always has been. We can’t make it great again because it never stopped being great. Sure, there’s been a few hiccups along the way, but it’s still the best forum on the internet.
If elected, I will bring to office my no-nonsense, zero bullsh*t tolerance attitude that has served me well as MoFo’s Resident Bitch. In my tenure here at MoFo I have built a solid reputation for my bitchiness, my tenacity, and for my ability to bring out the inner psycho in forum trolls. I was even instrumental in outing a pedophile amongst our ranks. As MoFo President I will strive to rid this forum of the parasites that have plagued it, either through reform or deportation - or by simply pissing them off enough that they leave of their own accord.
And unlike my opponents, I will do it all with absolute transparency… and sobriety. Politicians are often described as "two-faced," but TheUsualSuspect has proven himself – in his Mofie Nominated apology post – to be a three-faced candidate. And my most vocal opponent, SexyCelebrity? Nobody’s entirely sure how many faces he has. Then there’s Camo who, rumor has it, might have a little, tiny bit of a drinking problem.
I am a candidate you can trust and rely on. By my side is the highly qualified MoFo – #1 on the Top MoFos Countdown and multiple Mofie Award winner and nominee – Cricket, a man who all of you know very well from his very active involvement in the community. But I’ll let him toot his own horn.
But I can't do this without your help and support.
So Vote Miss Vicky/Cricket for MoFo President 2017!
Also don't forget to vote for me for Smartest MoFo (you know I am!), Best Couple (either with Camo or Funny Face), Best Avatar, Most Improved, and Reviewer of the Year! And don't overlook Cricket for Most Helpful, MoFo You'd Most Like to Meet, MoFo You'd Most Like To Be Stranded On An Island With, Funniest MoFo, and Best Profile Banner (but not Best Avatar).
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