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Split Second
Sci-Fi Monster Thriller / English / 1999
WHY'D I WATCH IT?
90s ChatGPT recommendation. ChatGPT's been leaning into recommending me more and more horror and thriller movies recently.
WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
Dogs, Rats.
I think this movie is a missed opportunity.
The premise is simple, a hard-boiled cop is after his former partner's killer, blahblahblah, but they take this tale as old as time and spin it off into some bizarre halfassed attempt at being meaningful.
The setting is the far-flung future of 2009 where eternal flooding and smog has devastated whatever city we're in because of global warming.
All this pretense serves to do is rationalize having everyone wading through water for half the runtime of the movie.
The killer seems to be superhuman in some way and leaves astrological messages behind which somehow direct the protagonists to his sewer lair... for some reason. He also targets Main Guy... for some reason. He also absorbs his victims' DNA from the hearts he steals... for some reason.
He turns out to be some tall metal(?) creature... for some reason.
The global warming, occult references, nor the superhuman aspect of the killer ever seem to be explain or rationalized in universe. Hell, I don't even know why it's called Split Second.
There might be some throwaway line where the killer's somehow been mutated into a budget xenomorph knock-off because he's been mutated by some rat-borne disease, but that's honestly my best guess.
There's no actual mystery to this movie, no Se7en-style serial killer intrigue, just a variety of action/thriller set pieces where Main Guy and his stereotypically by-the-book partner just narrowly miss catching him in the act.
To be clear, I'm not saying this movie was a missed opportunity for any of those reasons, I think this movie was a missed opportunity because it decided to take itself too seriously.
There's plenty of very small comedic moments where Main Guy's rugged no-****s-given attitude bounces off the other characters, but I feel like they didn't go far enough or hard enough with it.
We're introduced to main guy strolling down an alley in a trenchcoat, shades, chewing on a cigar, and carrying a shotgun and hand cannon, and the first place we go is a BDSM club where we get plenty of T&A.
My first thought when I see this is that I want this movie to go so clownshoes insane, just really taking maximum advantage of that R-rating. I want this guy to speak in trailer lines, I want so many explosions, even more boobs, just go all out with it.
But instead Main Guy turns out to be some anxiety-riddled detective who can hear the killer's heartbeat, again for reasons that are never explained. He's a complete ******** to anyone and everyone around him through the whole movie up to the halfway mark when all of a sudden he goes to a "necropolis" and starts getting all sappy with a love interest character.
Congratulations, you managed to humanize this guy... by absolutely backhanding his character out of ****ing nowhere.
His Sidekick at least has a very tiny arc where after they encounter the Big Bad for the first time he starts mimicking Main Guy's behavior, saying they need "big guns!" to deal with it. This of course is only after an unintentionally amusing scene where he's full-on shot in the chest and blasted bodily out of a window after he runs into a room and stands there instead of taking cover.
And of course he's just magically better offscreen.
He's the one postulating stupid shit about the moon phases or tide zodiac of the scorpion or year of the rat or WHO KNOWS, WHO CARES, it's just exposition babble, and it continues even after he's had a sigil carved into his ******* chest.
Main Guy's pretty much the only enjoyable character, but as I said they didn't do nearly enough with him, this is the sort of movie that really needed some "ham with it's cheese".
The final fight was also ridiculously underwhelming. They shoot the guy, they electrocute the guy, he still pins Main Guy, but somehow Main Guy just casually pushes him off and straight Dragonball PUNCHES HIM through his chest and rips out his heart... which the Big Bad has no reaction to. And then they shoot him. And then they shoot his heart. And then he's dead. MAYBE...
It wasn't a horrible movie, but it wasn't particularly good either.
Final Verdict: [Meh...]
Split Second
Sci-Fi Monster Thriller / English / 1999
WHY'D I WATCH IT?
90s ChatGPT recommendation. ChatGPT's been leaning into recommending me more and more horror and thriller movies recently.
WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS*
Dogs, Rats.
I think this movie is a missed opportunity.
The premise is simple, a hard-boiled cop is after his former partner's killer, blahblahblah, but they take this tale as old as time and spin it off into some bizarre halfassed attempt at being meaningful.
The setting is the far-flung future of 2009 where eternal flooding and smog has devastated whatever city we're in because of global warming.
All this pretense serves to do is rationalize having everyone wading through water for half the runtime of the movie.
The killer seems to be superhuman in some way and leaves astrological messages behind which somehow direct the protagonists to his sewer lair... for some reason. He also targets Main Guy... for some reason. He also absorbs his victims' DNA from the hearts he steals... for some reason.
He turns out to be some tall metal(?) creature... for some reason.
The global warming, occult references, nor the superhuman aspect of the killer ever seem to be explain or rationalized in universe. Hell, I don't even know why it's called Split Second.
There might be some throwaway line where the killer's somehow been mutated into a budget xenomorph knock-off because he's been mutated by some rat-borne disease, but that's honestly my best guess.
There's no actual mystery to this movie, no Se7en-style serial killer intrigue, just a variety of action/thriller set pieces where Main Guy and his stereotypically by-the-book partner just narrowly miss catching him in the act.
To be clear, I'm not saying this movie was a missed opportunity for any of those reasons, I think this movie was a missed opportunity because it decided to take itself too seriously.
There's plenty of very small comedic moments where Main Guy's rugged no-****s-given attitude bounces off the other characters, but I feel like they didn't go far enough or hard enough with it.
We're introduced to main guy strolling down an alley in a trenchcoat, shades, chewing on a cigar, and carrying a shotgun and hand cannon, and the first place we go is a BDSM club where we get plenty of T&A.
My first thought when I see this is that I want this movie to go so clownshoes insane, just really taking maximum advantage of that R-rating. I want this guy to speak in trailer lines, I want so many explosions, even more boobs, just go all out with it.
But instead Main Guy turns out to be some anxiety-riddled detective who can hear the killer's heartbeat, again for reasons that are never explained. He's a complete ******** to anyone and everyone around him through the whole movie up to the halfway mark when all of a sudden he goes to a "necropolis" and starts getting all sappy with a love interest character.
Congratulations, you managed to humanize this guy... by absolutely backhanding his character out of ****ing nowhere.
His Sidekick at least has a very tiny arc where after they encounter the Big Bad for the first time he starts mimicking Main Guy's behavior, saying they need "big guns!" to deal with it. This of course is only after an unintentionally amusing scene where he's full-on shot in the chest and blasted bodily out of a window after he runs into a room and stands there instead of taking cover.
And of course he's just magically better offscreen.
He's the one postulating stupid shit about the moon phases or tide zodiac of the scorpion or year of the rat or WHO KNOWS, WHO CARES, it's just exposition babble, and it continues even after he's had a sigil carved into his ******* chest.
Main Guy's pretty much the only enjoyable character, but as I said they didn't do nearly enough with him, this is the sort of movie that really needed some "ham with it's cheese".
The final fight was also ridiculously underwhelming. They shoot the guy, they electrocute the guy, he still pins Main Guy, but somehow Main Guy just casually pushes him off and straight Dragonball PUNCHES HIM through his chest and rips out his heart... which the Big Bad has no reaction to. And then they shoot him. And then they shoot his heart. And then he's dead. MAYBE...
It wasn't a horrible movie, but it wasn't particularly good either.
Final Verdict: [Meh...]