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Now that I finally got my movie log's number of horror films down to 20%, I am officially back on MST3K. I left off at the last few episodes of season 5, having to continue with Bert I. Gordon's Village of the Giants, which is a very loose adaptation of Food of the Gods, an H.G. Wells book. I started this before, but after the opening credits I found that Bert I. Gordon in fact made a much more faithful adaptation of that same book ten years later. So, I quit this one, and headed to the faithful one, which was so-so.
This Beau Bridges classic featuring the Beau Brummels, and a bunch of other beaus, sees a genius little boy with no other character development messing around in his lab when the cat eats a pink foam he accidentally creates. This foam turns the cat gigantic. A couple of test ducks fly away and a group of teenagers find out that the formula is in the kid's house. They steal it, eat some of it, Beau gets big for his bridges (say that five times fast) and with their new size they decide to take over the town.
OK, remember that common criticism of the 2019 Cats concerning the disproportionate sizes changing throughout the movie between the characters and the surroundings? Well, that's shamelessly on parade here, possibly for comedic effect, but the joke runs so thin that it has to end. The's people are carrying standard trays of food for the giants, and these giants are at least 100 times their size, and suddenly as the giants hold the trays, the trays are proportionately like a third or half of what they originally were? I just watched Top Secret today, and I can promise you, that the use of humorous visuals here is lacking in spirit and effect, assuming that was the idea, and I'm not sure it was since the movie largely didn't have a lot of real jokes besides these predictable visual gags.
On top of that, a large key factor of this lack of laughs is the ungodly slow pace. These close up shots of short boobs and bad actors shaking their heads in beach party fashions doesn't make me wanna party. They make me wanna punch Bert I. Gordon for thinking this movie was a good idea. The scene were the ducks are in the club doesn't have any humorous direction about it, as the scene drags on for a couple of minutes as if that's supposed to matter. Half of each story progressing scene is dragged on for minutes at a time while actors are recycling the same bad acting and direction with no humor at all. I had to force myself not to flip out over losing my patience multiple times in the second half.
Oh, and Mike, Crow and Servo were right: I don't need to see Tommy Kirk in short pants.
Bert I. Gordon was never a "terrible" director to me. He was bad, but not terrible. This cemented terrible. I wouldn't even return to this EPISODE, as Mike, Crow and Servo struggled to make it laughable. This is extremely boring, has no real plotting for either serious or humorous purposes, and makes episodes of Tak and the Power of Juju look like genius.
= 3. That's 3 of 100.
Bert I. Gordon's Directorial Score (2 Good vs. 7 Bad)
Village of the Giants: 3
King Dinosaur: 17
Earth vs. the Spider: 18
War of the Colossal Beast: 27
The Magic Sword: 30
Score:
This knocks off The Cyclops (42) from the chart, meaning no movies above 30/100 will affect Bert I. Gordon's score. Bert I. Gordon's score lowers from 26.8 / 5, raising his position on my Worst Directors list from #37 to #24, between Mike Marvin and Albert Band.
Village of the Giants
(1965) - Directed by Bert I. Gordon
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Sci-Fi / Comedy / Family / Teen Movie
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(1965) - Directed by Bert I. Gordon
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Sci-Fi / Comedy / Family / Teen Movie
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"W-what's the matter, hotshot? Don't you like your new size?"
Now that I finally got my movie log's number of horror films down to 20%, I am officially back on MST3K. I left off at the last few episodes of season 5, having to continue with Bert I. Gordon's Village of the Giants, which is a very loose adaptation of Food of the Gods, an H.G. Wells book. I started this before, but after the opening credits I found that Bert I. Gordon in fact made a much more faithful adaptation of that same book ten years later. So, I quit this one, and headed to the faithful one, which was so-so.
This Beau Bridges classic featuring the Beau Brummels, and a bunch of other beaus, sees a genius little boy with no other character development messing around in his lab when the cat eats a pink foam he accidentally creates. This foam turns the cat gigantic. A couple of test ducks fly away and a group of teenagers find out that the formula is in the kid's house. They steal it, eat some of it, Beau gets big for his bridges (say that five times fast) and with their new size they decide to take over the town.
OK, remember that common criticism of the 2019 Cats concerning the disproportionate sizes changing throughout the movie between the characters and the surroundings? Well, that's shamelessly on parade here, possibly for comedic effect, but the joke runs so thin that it has to end. The's people are carrying standard trays of food for the giants, and these giants are at least 100 times their size, and suddenly as the giants hold the trays, the trays are proportionately like a third or half of what they originally were? I just watched Top Secret today, and I can promise you, that the use of humorous visuals here is lacking in spirit and effect, assuming that was the idea, and I'm not sure it was since the movie largely didn't have a lot of real jokes besides these predictable visual gags.
On top of that, a large key factor of this lack of laughs is the ungodly slow pace. These close up shots of short boobs and bad actors shaking their heads in beach party fashions doesn't make me wanna party. They make me wanna punch Bert I. Gordon for thinking this movie was a good idea. The scene were the ducks are in the club doesn't have any humorous direction about it, as the scene drags on for a couple of minutes as if that's supposed to matter. Half of each story progressing scene is dragged on for minutes at a time while actors are recycling the same bad acting and direction with no humor at all. I had to force myself not to flip out over losing my patience multiple times in the second half.
Oh, and Mike, Crow and Servo were right: I don't need to see Tommy Kirk in short pants.
Bert I. Gordon was never a "terrible" director to me. He was bad, but not terrible. This cemented terrible. I wouldn't even return to this EPISODE, as Mike, Crow and Servo struggled to make it laughable. This is extremely boring, has no real plotting for either serious or humorous purposes, and makes episodes of Tak and the Power of Juju look like genius.
= 3. That's 3 of 100.
Bert I. Gordon's Directorial Score (2 Good vs. 7 Bad)
Village of the Giants: 3
King Dinosaur: 17
Earth vs. the Spider: 18
War of the Colossal Beast: 27
The Magic Sword: 30
Score:
This knocks off The Cyclops (42) from the chart, meaning no movies above 30/100 will affect Bert I. Gordon's score. Bert I. Gordon's score lowers from 26.8 / 5, raising his position on my Worst Directors list from #37 to #24, between Mike Marvin and Albert Band.