Spy Kids: Armageddon

So whenever there's a series I've completed, I try to make sure I get through another entry when it comes out. Pray for me when I get through the Transformers movies. This time, it's gonna be Spy Kids, as a fifth one has made its way to Netflix. Chances were it was gonna be even worse than before, as the movies kept getting worse, but I wasn't gonna knock it just yet.

Another new SK team is forming as an overprotective father who maintains severe tech restrictions on his kids now has to deal with the theft of a code he created, one that can break into any computer system around the world. With his house now in danger, the kids are sent away to a safe house where they learn to be spies like their parents. But it takes more than a bunch of gadgets to save the world from a cyber-terrorist who uses his own video game as a security measure to control the world's banks, companies and everything else. They gotta play the game like pros.

Basically, this is a combination of every Spy Kids movie we've had so far. The plot is largely rehashing the first, we have our robot sidekick from 2 except it's a crab (as well as fighting skeletons with swords), a major video-game plot with elements of 3, and... the general incompetence of OSS that we didn't see until 4. So the good and the bad are both attached, and considering that the series kept getting worse over time... this is a slight improvement.

The energy of the first three films is totally there, and that energy is a key factor in any good Spy Kids movie. Our two siblings really feel like kids most of the time, rather than overly clever protagonists like they did in 4. It helps that the movie was all about video games dominating the world, so this was easy for the kids. In a way, it recreates the first film's theme of children being familiar with a childlike world, where the children had to work their way through a children's TV show. Unfortunately, the feeling isn't fully replicated here, as a lot of adults play video games these days. At least the video game aspects were delivered with some creativity here and there, improving on the unique plot of Spy Kids 3 where it counted. On top of this kind of imagination, we get a few new gadgets, but they don't really feel as cool as before.

The real issue of the movie is its completely half-assed look at honesty. "You can't just be dishonest" and "honesty always wins" is NOT gonna convince a kid to be honest without the logic of it attached. As is to be expected, the characters just naturally grow to accept it without any rhyme or reason, and of course our villain learns it, albeit with a twist that I thought actually worked for the story being developed, so it wasn't a total disaster at the end. Think of it like the ending to season one of SAO. On top of this, most of the adults are just plain incompetent, which the first movie was able to avoid. The head of the OSS was made to look like an utter fool for no reason other than to glorify our protagonists. And finally, the parents are ALWAYS bickering over the stupidest things, and as excepted, the dad was super wrong in his efforts to protect the world, as well can expect from modern day kids movies like this. Big surprise.

Well, Rodriguez isn't gonna let his biggest seller go that easily, so be prepared for more Spy Kids movies sometime in the future. But it's pretty obvious that the series is starting to lose its dignity, and may eventually be downgraded to that of another Land Before Time film. Spy Kids 5 won't really bring back the old fans, but at least it tried hard to stay close to the same spirit as the original, unlike 4. So this is, like I said, a slight improvement over 4.

= 44

Robert Rodriguez's directorial score does not change.