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Lust for Frankenstein (1998) - Directed by Jess Franco
Genres: Erotic Thriller, Horror
OK, why am I reviewing this many, many months after nominating this for the first Hall of Infamy? Well, several reasons. First, this is... and I'll say it at the beginning... the worst movie I've ever seen and it was at the time of nomination. Second, I plan on including as many reviews as possible without overdoing it, and this is one I remember well enough to review. Third... I forgot to do it already and thought I did. Either way, I most likely hate this movie more than anyone else on this website, so I should be one of those very few to post a review of this.
This "modern sequel" to the actual story, which is also edited for the sake of this film's sake, sees the granddaughter of Dr. Frankenstein finding out about her grandaddies old experiments, but the monster this time is a woman. Not only that, this extremely horny granddaughter starts a relationship with the monster, who goes murderously jealous whenever she goes at it with anyone else.
This Jess Franco reimagining of the novel is an insult to the novel's legacy. I'd know. I own it, and it's one of my favorite novels of all time. It's a shame that one of the world's greatest novels lead to one of the world's worst movies, and this is proof that there are way too many Frankenstein movies. And we don't even have a perfect one yet (I blame those cheesy homunculi from Bride of Frankenstein for being the one scar on a wonderful movie). Of course, this adaptation is really more of a spin-off.
I'm gonna repeat what I said about the movie on the HoI. Any story to the film is excruciatingly hard to make out because the audio quality is terrible, and the accents are sometimes incomprehensible as a result. There's no fear to this so-called horror, because (as is the problem with so many other horror b-films, the monster is just slowly killing people off. Big woop. And as for the sex scenes in this erotic piece, the camera is blurry and the sex is further distorted by psychedelic coloring and effects backed by crappy noise rock fodder. And I like noise rock. Steve Albini is one of my favorite people in the music industry. On top of that, these people are UGLY in their skivvies. So B-movie director Jess Franco was on such a low budget that he couldn't even find any good-looking actors? Whuuut?
And all of these things drag on throughout the WHOLE MOVIE! Throughout 80 minutes these ugly ass actors are having cheaply filmed sex to cheaply filmed visuals. It gets so monotonous that it practically hurt my head to watch multiple times. I know there are people on this forum who are against pausing every ten minutes, but this movie practically forced me to do that. It was either I pause for my sanity, or risk getting addicted to aspirin. In fact, I chose this movie for the first HoI just because it was so headache-inducingly bad, although I knew not everybydy would feel that way. It's all about opinion, after all. Still, I got SECOND in that HoI. But alas, one cannot face the wrath of the obscure Adam Sandler comedy.
I don't know if Jess Franco was trying to make the worst movie ever or trying to subvert three genres at once, but everything he tried failed. The only reason I saw this is because up until that point, I had not seen a crap movie that I regretted watching because so many crap movies I've seen have either made me laugh or taught me something about what not to do when trying to make a good movie. And so many intentionally bad movies have an incredibly humorous side. Fred Olen Ray anyone? But this had no humor, no scares, and it wasn't even sexy. Absolute failure. No redeeming qualities of any kind, because no aspect of Lust for Frankenstein could even slightly succeed on its own merits.
= zero zero zero.
Genres: Erotic Thriller, Horror
OK, why am I reviewing this many, many months after nominating this for the first Hall of Infamy? Well, several reasons. First, this is... and I'll say it at the beginning... the worst movie I've ever seen and it was at the time of nomination. Second, I plan on including as many reviews as possible without overdoing it, and this is one I remember well enough to review. Third... I forgot to do it already and thought I did. Either way, I most likely hate this movie more than anyone else on this website, so I should be one of those very few to post a review of this.
This "modern sequel" to the actual story, which is also edited for the sake of this film's sake, sees the granddaughter of Dr. Frankenstein finding out about her grandaddies old experiments, but the monster this time is a woman. Not only that, this extremely horny granddaughter starts a relationship with the monster, who goes murderously jealous whenever she goes at it with anyone else.
This Jess Franco reimagining of the novel is an insult to the novel's legacy. I'd know. I own it, and it's one of my favorite novels of all time. It's a shame that one of the world's greatest novels lead to one of the world's worst movies, and this is proof that there are way too many Frankenstein movies. And we don't even have a perfect one yet (I blame those cheesy homunculi from Bride of Frankenstein for being the one scar on a wonderful movie). Of course, this adaptation is really more of a spin-off.
I'm gonna repeat what I said about the movie on the HoI. Any story to the film is excruciatingly hard to make out because the audio quality is terrible, and the accents are sometimes incomprehensible as a result. There's no fear to this so-called horror, because (as is the problem with so many other horror b-films, the monster is just slowly killing people off. Big woop. And as for the sex scenes in this erotic piece, the camera is blurry and the sex is further distorted by psychedelic coloring and effects backed by crappy noise rock fodder. And I like noise rock. Steve Albini is one of my favorite people in the music industry. On top of that, these people are UGLY in their skivvies. So B-movie director Jess Franco was on such a low budget that he couldn't even find any good-looking actors? Whuuut?
And all of these things drag on throughout the WHOLE MOVIE! Throughout 80 minutes these ugly ass actors are having cheaply filmed sex to cheaply filmed visuals. It gets so monotonous that it practically hurt my head to watch multiple times. I know there are people on this forum who are against pausing every ten minutes, but this movie practically forced me to do that. It was either I pause for my sanity, or risk getting addicted to aspirin. In fact, I chose this movie for the first HoI just because it was so headache-inducingly bad, although I knew not everybydy would feel that way. It's all about opinion, after all. Still, I got SECOND in that HoI. But alas, one cannot face the wrath of the obscure Adam Sandler comedy.
I don't know if Jess Franco was trying to make the worst movie ever or trying to subvert three genres at once, but everything he tried failed. The only reason I saw this is because up until that point, I had not seen a crap movie that I regretted watching because so many crap movies I've seen have either made me laugh or taught me something about what not to do when trying to make a good movie. And so many intentionally bad movies have an incredibly humorous side. Fred Olen Ray anyone? But this had no humor, no scares, and it wasn't even sexy. Absolute failure. No redeeming qualities of any kind, because no aspect of Lust for Frankenstein could even slightly succeed on its own merits.
= zero zero zero.