Starting to live on your own

I've been pretty depressed recently since I will be finishing school this year (lol,this year means in a month and a half actually) and I will have to choose what do I want to do with my life,what to study,what career to pursue and just who to be in this world.
The problem is,that I have no idea what should I study.I don't even know where.I don't even know if I want to study.Most of my friends already made up their minds and that just depresses me even more.I even started to watch more films just to get out of the reality.
I've talked to many people and none of them helped me,so I just decided to pour my emotions in here.I was wondering,considering that most of the forum members are older than me,if you could share your experiences when you had this period between being careless and starting to live on your own.
Did your parents help you?Did you have to leave your parents after school/college or you stayed for a longer time?Were you struggling or everything went smoothly?What did you expect it to be when living on your own and how it actually was like?

Just share your experiences if you can because it helps. :/

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"Anything less than immortality is a complete waste of time."

I am in a simililar situation. I am not depressed or anything, but I understand what you might be feeling. Just choose the subject you're interested in the most. There's no point in studying something you're not interested in AT ALL. It'd be but a chore and it could discourage you really quickly. On the other hand, don't choose a subject you know is useless and has no future - i.e. you know people can't find a job after certain studies in your country. Not sure how it is in Lithuania, but in Poland you have two possibilites - technical school, after which you've got some kind of a degree in a chosen technical work/ability like cooking, engineering etc. No need to study after that, but there are no obstacles to do so. Easy to find the job, they say. The second possibility is high school after which you basically haven't got anything and are more or less forced to study (nobody literally forces of course, but the possibility of finding a decent job equals 0). I really think that living with or without parents depends on many factors like, whether you'd like to study in your city or in another city, or whether your'e poor or rich etc.

I was still 15 when I left school. Passed all my exams when I was 14. Couldn't find work though as I was too young to get a full time job.

I can say though that confusion about what you want/should/might/hope to do is completely normal.

As for careers, I have no idea what you have qualifications in, but more study would be a good option.
Have a look at sciences if you're an INTJ

Tbh, after I left school, I went into bog standard factory work for the start just to earn money and pay bills... but leaving home and getting a job, getting independent was certainly the best choice of my life.
The other thing is that being out and about in the world always throws things in you direction that you never expected. I started in a factory and ended up in Civil Service with the Military.

"If you don't kick your feet, there's no telling where you might end up"

I cherished the challenge of organising my own stuff and my own affairs and being able to get arsey with anyone I liked because it was my place and my rules rather than my parent's place and their rules.

Independence and having responsibilities is a scary thing to contemplate... but as soon as you've actually got it, it's actually lots of fun and very fulfilling.

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I can identify with what you're saying, Gabrielle.

I also felt depressed at the end of high school. Everything felt so huge and I had no idea where I fit in.

It was expected that I'd go to university, but I put it off. I started living on my own and worked a variety of jobs, including as a waiter, bartender, construction and landscaping. At first my parents helped me out with some cash every month, but then I didn't need it.

At the same time I acted in community theater, which gave me a great deal of pleasure. Then I started taking some classes at a community college, first in the theater department then in other things. This renewed my interest in studying and I eventually applied to and enrolled in a state university - for in-state students it was very inexpensive back then.

Although I was older than many students by the time I got to university, I was also a lot more focused than many others.

When I say 'living on my own' it was of course with roommates and that kind of arrangement continued for many years, through university and afterwards as well.

If you're thinking about moving out of your parents' house you can take your time and look around to find an apartment/house and group of roommates where you feel you fit in. And if your parents are in a position to do so, maybe they could help you out for a while as you find your feet.

I know when everyone is rushing around making plans there can be a lot of pressure. But why hurry? Enjoy the journey.

that's the thing that I'm interested in not very perspective things. My favorite school subject is history but studying history itself is quite unless I'm planning to teach at university after finishing it which I don't want to do.I could try law,police,politics etc. which is related to history but in my country humanitarian science careers are just overfilled and actually nowaday politics bores me a lot.
Another possibility is film studies but in my country there isn't even a proper studying course.There are some but film industry itself is dead.I really like films,I love talking about them and in a way they are related with history but in order pursue film career I'll have to go abroad to UK,which I am seriously considering now.I have no relatives there so I'll be absolutely on my own,which just terrifies me.So basically either I will fight my fear and try to achieve something that I just might love or I will stay here and probably end up miserable.
I also actually want to leave my parents and money is an issue as well but I'm not afraid to work.

I think the most helpful thing I can possibly say is that it scares almost everyone to some degree, and that's okay. Thankfully, the excitement of independence (in one form or another) is usually enough to counteract this.

I would not be depressed simply because your friends have made up their minds. If anything I think people make up their minds too quickly. I'd worry way more about people who just mindlessly soldier onto college like its 13th grade than I would the ones who stop, and think, and maybe even question the idea of whether or not they should go. By most measures it ain't what it used to be.

I didn't go to college, but I moved out when I was 21. I moved in with my best friend; the commute was long, my car was old, and it broke down a lot. Even though I'm very frugal and careful about money, there were some real rough spots. But you learn a lot about real life and budgeting, assuming you're actually on your own, paying for your own existence, and not just in a dorm or put on some kind of allowance. That might be easier, but it definitely delays the learning process. And if you learn from the rough spots you'll be a lot better at it by the time the mere fact of your freedom has lost a little luster.

Looking back, I can't believe how much annoying stuff I used to put up with, just day-to-day. The long commute, the car troubles, picking my girlfriend up from college, driving her back, having to keep track of which movies or books were at my apartment versus her dorm, having so little space and so many people constantly around, not being able to change the place I lived.

You might be surprised at how many seemingly intolerable things you can get used to when you've got that rush of freedom. And while it's good to think about this stuff, there's really nothing that can show you what kind of life you want to live better than starting and seeing what happens. For a lot of people, myself included, figuring out what life you want can be a process of elimination.

yeah,I did but I'm not into nature(?) sciences like biology,chemistry and not into computers,IT etc. You see,at school two years ago I had to choose which subjects I want to study,take final exams (which result determines whether I have a chance to enter a good university).I am taking English,History,Maths and Lithuanian,so that leaves me with more humanitarian careers.

Oh and thanks for the positive post. )


what did you study?

I am trying now to persuade someone go to with me abroad but for the time being,no one is interested. If I decide to go to UK,I will probably have to look for a flat on the internet or try Facebook.

yeah,I'll probably take a gap year.I just don't want to rush into things although my parents are against it.

I am interested in History as well, but there's no future for humanitarian science students in my country.

Gap year is a good option only if you're sure you find a job so you don't just laze doing nothing.

EDIT- I type slow now so I missed some posts and this may be a rehash. Sorry.

I don't know exactly what your options are but if you're unsure and it's practical, I'd recommend taking a break from studying and go to work full-time. You may not have enough experiences to know what you want to do with your life and a job may surprisingly help you to learn about things you never knew you liked. I went straight from high school to college at 17 without Wohking and just taking for granted I'd eventually go to medical school, After less than two years I learned I was not as competitive as I would need to be but I was already committed to a biology major although I had no intention of working in that industry. Some work experience would have opened my eyes to more choices.

On the plus side, my fondness for movies blossomed into love and I took 11 film classes in college to help me enjoy my time there and to get my degree. I was lucky that college was a lot less expensive when I went from 1973-1977, and I lived at home and my middle-class parents paid my way. But even though I got a poor job after college, my degree eventually helped me to later get a job as air traffic controller and then a teacher. I also went to work on some film reference books, but if I had gone to work before college, I might have been a filmmaker. I think very few high schoolers actually "know" what they want to do when they're 17-18, and if they do, they're very lucky. I hope this comforts you in some way.

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It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
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so what are you planning to do?Poland doesn't seem like the country full of opportunities or good universities,maybe you have thought of leaving it?

I don't really know. I'll probably study IT right here and then maybe think about leaving, but it will really depend on many factors. There are good universities, but in the biggest cities like Warszawa, Kraków, Poznań, Wrocław or Gdańsk. Unfortunatelly, I live far from them so I'll study in smaller city, which isn't really that small compared to the town I live in.

I started in the theater department and ended up in a program that allowed me to design my own major (in the US there are more programs like that). It was a lot of history, literature, philosophy and political economy.

I ended up working in human rights type jobs for many years.

It sounds like at the moment you are most interested in history and film. I understand the challenges of moving abroad, etc.

In the meantime, after you graduate, would it be possible, while working out the logistics of where to live and how to achieve that, to take one or two classes - possibly online classes?

Yoda is right. Finding some type of career can often be a process of elimination, so don't be afraid to try different things and if they don't seem right, move on to something else.

By the way, it's really impressive that you're questioning things, and that you're taking an active, practical-minded approach by exploring your options, and by sharing with others what your situation is, and seeking to learn from other people's experiences. That shows a great deal of maturity.

yes,if I decide to go abroad I will definitely work for a year,just to settle in.After that I will probably study and work part-time.I'm not expecting much help from my parents since we are having some arguments about my future but I live in a summer resort city,so I think I will manage to earn some money during the summer,so I could survive in the UK until I find a job.

I am also considering relating my career to film but I have no idea what I could do.Anyway,I believe I will be able to find that out later.

There no such thing as college in my country.I have to finish 12 grades and then university.In my country,if you pass your final exams well,you can enter a university without any entrance fee.

yeah,I have that option,too but I really feel the need to leave my home town,and detach myself from my family,that's why I don't want to study nearby.

Well I finish school this year and will be going to University next year here in the UK, probably going to Cardiff. Going to do IT Management, although in the future if I could I would want to do something with films, I dunno.

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not sure but there are often various university events like "Open Door" days which allows you to come to any university,ask and learn more about a certain study course.Not sure about film related study courses,it is a very unpopular thing.

thank you! ) I've talked all my friends and since their basically my age,so they don't help much.My parents don't want me to leave,guess they are just protective of me or they don't believe that I will succeed on my own.So it is always nice to hear an opinion from people who have experienced this and who can actually give advice.Even just reading or hearing that someone also was scared but is still alive and okay now,makes me feel better.All the posts here are wonderful and I will read them all again when eventually I will have to take action instead of just planning.

There's no international limits to online classes.

Also, if you're structured in your learning, you could order some books and DVDs and start to educate yourself without taking formal classes (of course you're already well on your way) - and perhaps learn even more than you would in film school.

Remember: Quentin Tarantino said that he never went to film school. He went to films.

All the confusion is absolutely normal. That's why most people end up either switching their major or not even picking one until after a year in. I was a computer science major with a history minor. If I would have stayed in college I would have had to switch my major. I just wasn't as in to it as I thought I would be. Don't let it get you down, you'll figure it all out. Sometimes it just takes time.

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You are no Vader. You are just a child in a mask.

All the advice here is good, all I can add is if you do decide to go to University, worry about doing something you enjoy rather than anything else. Trust me, it's the difference between 4 tedious, hard-work filled years and 4 enjoyable ones. If you like the subject, the work becomes much easier and you get better grades. I gave up an extra year switching from History to Film Studies and starting my degree over but now I couldn't be happier with my choice.

Good luck.

I think the idea that your friends have all their **** together is a fantasy. Most of them are probably going through the same as you.

I left school at 17 and wish that I had stayed to get a degree. Fact is that I simply hated studying/school and when I started earning money school just went right out of the window.

I stayed living at home until 24 then for the last 5 years I have good paying job(not amazing but quite good), basically my own boss, mortgage, couple of dogs etc. Get on with my parents sooooooo much better now that I don't live with them.

I would say that I was really worried about what I was doing with my life from 17-24 but now I am quite happy. I don't want to marry or have kids (not yet anyway).

Maybe take a gap year? If you have any money travel a bit, or travel and work in a different country, try and pick up a new language in said country etc.

YOU WILL NEVER LIKELY BE AS FREE AS YOU ARE FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS OF YOUR LIFE. ENJOY THEM! ENJOY YOUR YOUTH! BECAUSE SOMEDAY SOON IT WILL BE KIDS, BILLS, WORK, STRESS, MARRIAGE.