Laugh Out Loud Movie Quotes

This a simple thread that's probably been done before, but I need some entertainment and it's a little slow here now. I've been in the mood for good comedy lately, so I thought I'd start this. Feel free to post as many as you think of and some of your favorites.


[stealing Tony's shoes]
John McClane: Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.
-Die Hard

Charlie: With an ass so beautiful, it's a shame she has to sit down on it.
-Out to Sea

Butch Cassidy: How many are following us?
Sundance Kid: All of 'em.
Butch Cassidy: All of 'em. What's the matter with those guys?
-Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Henry Gondorff: They'll probably miss you, and shoot me!
-The Sting

Dark Helmet: Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Star.
Lone Starr: What?
Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
Lone Starr: What's that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.
-Spaceballs

Professor Henry Jones: Junior, I have tell you something.
Indiana Jones: Don't get sentimental now dad, save it until we get out of here.
Professor Henry Jones: The floor's on fire... see... AND the chair.
-Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

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From the Buck Rogers serial: "You can trust Killer Kane. He is a just man".

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All secrets are safe with this man, because none are as deadly to him as his own. His secret is that he is Richard Kimble. (The Fugitive - Conspiracy of Silence)

Big Lebowski - What makes a man Mr Lebowski , is it being prepared to the right thing , no matter the cost , isnt that what makes a man?
Dude - Sure, that and a pair of testicles.

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"Get Busy Livin or Get Busy Dyin"

The classic This Is Spinal Tap quote.

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

Also from Spinal Tap.

Nigel Tufnel: You can't really dust for vomit.

From Talladega Nights

Rick Bobby (convinced he's on fire) "I'm on fire!!! Help me Jesus!! Help me Jewish God!!! Help me Allah!!! Aaaaaaargh.... help me Tom Cruise!!
Commentator: But how did he get down to his underwear that fast
Ricky Bobby: Tom Cruise use your witchcraft to get the fire off of me!!

Cal Naughton Junior: I like to picture Jesus wearing a Tuxedo t shirt... coz it says I like to be formal, but I'm here to party

From Wayne's World

Ben: "Who want's chinese takeout? I know a great little place.
Wayne: "I'll have the Cream of some young guy"

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If at his council I should turn aside, Into that ominous tract which all agree, Hides the Dark Tower. Yet aquiescingly I did turn as he pointed, neither pride nor hope at the end descried, so much as gladness that some end might be.

Robert Browning 'Childe Roland to The Dark Tower Came'