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I just thought it was a bit odd to neg rep someone, not just for their opinion, but in a thread that solely exists for SC to give his opinion on the films he's seen, to the exclusion of everyone elses opinion.
Sexy Cineplexy: Reviews
→ in Movie Reviews
I like the film a lot. 4.5 out of 5 from me.
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I was recently in an independent comedy-drama about post-high school indecision. It's called Generation Why.
See the trailer here:
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SAW VI
(directed by Kevin Greutert, 2009)
It's that time of year again - October : Time for SAW!
I have just come back from my annual trick or treating to the movie theatre to see the latest Saw installment. There I was, 12:40pm, THE FIRST PERSON TO ARRIVE. And all by myself... ooooh... no one loves me.
I always feel like a serial killer when I sit by myself in these Saw movies -- well, at least I did this year and last year with Saw V, which I also saw the first showing of. Here I am, this 20 something year old man, sitting alone in a movie theatre, waiting on a film where people die horrific deaths through torture.
After a couple of other lonely 20 something year old men who might be serial killers loaded up the seats, Saw VI (damn, I hate those stupid Roman numerals) began. Two people had to battle against each other for the chance to live by removing flesh from their body and putting it on a scale. The one who lost the most flesh got to win. The loser... well... loses much more. It was like watching The Biggest Loser, except the guts had blood on them.
Afterwards, the movie trods along with the continuing tale of Jigsaw (Tobin Bell), his former wife, Jigsaw's second in command (Costas Mandylor, who I find very, very hot ~ give it to me, Costas! Harder! Harder!) and an assortment of returning characters and new characters.
This time, a crooked man who runs a health insurance company is being tested to see if he has the will to live and enough of a heart to allow some other people associated with him to also survive the mayhem. I swear... this movie was Michael Moore's horror film. It is very, very preachy about its message of helping the citizens of the United States get healthcare, but that didn't bother me. It literally is a Michael Moore movie with murder.
The presentation and tone of the film worked better than its previous sequels, notably Saw IV and Saw V, which were weaker entries that served to surprise us for the upcoming, supposedly last film in the series, Saw VI. However, with recent news that Saws 8 through 1,000 are in the works, it seems that there will be more surprises, and thus more "intriguing" information about the characters will have to be put off. But, at least in Saw VI, we got quite a bit more heft than we did with 4 & 5.
But it's gotten on my nerves how these films are basically being treated like episodes of some TV series. There is hope, based on Saw VI, that these films will come to an end soon, but it's not a promise, and for all I know, Tobin Bell may come back from the dead via a clone or something in a future sequel (I'm not giving anything away by saying this).
Still, I have to say that I think the Saw films are actually pretty extraordinary in the horror genre, though they're getting kind of redundent. I can hear some people saying, "Kind of?" There are some brutal deaths in Saw VI, some things that may even be unintentionally hilarious, and the "game" plot that's in every film is kind of redundent, but I feel that overall it's unique and even uplifting.
With that said, the twist at the end of the movie was only decent, but again, better than parts 4 & 5. I left feeling a little underwhelmed by the ending, though... there was a big buildup beforehand. But I'm unsure about what will happen in Saw VII.
(directed by Kevin Greutert, 2009)
It's that time of year again - October : Time for SAW!
I have just come back from my annual trick or treating to the movie theatre to see the latest Saw installment. There I was, 12:40pm, THE FIRST PERSON TO ARRIVE. And all by myself... ooooh... no one loves me.
I always feel like a serial killer when I sit by myself in these Saw movies -- well, at least I did this year and last year with Saw V, which I also saw the first showing of. Here I am, this 20 something year old man, sitting alone in a movie theatre, waiting on a film where people die horrific deaths through torture.
After a couple of other lonely 20 something year old men who might be serial killers loaded up the seats, Saw VI (damn, I hate those stupid Roman numerals) began. Two people had to battle against each other for the chance to live by removing flesh from their body and putting it on a scale. The one who lost the most flesh got to win. The loser... well... loses much more. It was like watching The Biggest Loser, except the guts had blood on them.
Afterwards, the movie trods along with the continuing tale of Jigsaw (Tobin Bell), his former wife, Jigsaw's second in command (Costas Mandylor, who I find very, very hot ~ give it to me, Costas! Harder! Harder!) and an assortment of returning characters and new characters.
This time, a crooked man who runs a health insurance company is being tested to see if he has the will to live and enough of a heart to allow some other people associated with him to also survive the mayhem. I swear... this movie was Michael Moore's horror film. It is very, very preachy about its message of helping the citizens of the United States get healthcare, but that didn't bother me. It literally is a Michael Moore movie with murder.
The presentation and tone of the film worked better than its previous sequels, notably Saw IV and Saw V, which were weaker entries that served to surprise us for the upcoming, supposedly last film in the series, Saw VI. However, with recent news that Saws 8 through 1,000 are in the works, it seems that there will be more surprises, and thus more "intriguing" information about the characters will have to be put off. But, at least in Saw VI, we got quite a bit more heft than we did with 4 & 5.
But it's gotten on my nerves how these films are basically being treated like episodes of some TV series. There is hope, based on Saw VI, that these films will come to an end soon, but it's not a promise, and for all I know, Tobin Bell may come back from the dead via a clone or something in a future sequel (I'm not giving anything away by saying this).
Still, I have to say that I think the Saw films are actually pretty extraordinary in the horror genre, though they're getting kind of redundent. I can hear some people saying, "Kind of?" There are some brutal deaths in Saw VI, some things that may even be unintentionally hilarious, and the "game" plot that's in every film is kind of redundent, but I feel that overall it's unique and even uplifting.
With that said, the twist at the end of the movie was only decent, but again, better than parts 4 & 5. I left feeling a little underwhelmed by the ending, though... there was a big buildup beforehand. But I'm unsure about what will happen in Saw VII.
Last edited by Sexy Celebrity; 05-23-17 at 03:03 AM.
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Thanks for your great reviews as always 
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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
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Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.
Buddha
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Forrest Gump
(directed by Robert Zemeckis, 1994)
This is one of the greatest movies ever made.
It's constantly ridiculed, constantly criticized ("Anyone could play a retarded person!") but it's pure gold and it'll be with us forever. Released in 1994, Forrest Gump became a cultural phenomenon and gave us so many memorable lines of dialogue. Everywhere I went, people were repeating things like, "Life is like a box of chocolates" and "Stupid is as stupid does."
Not too long ago, I decided to go running, and the sight of Sexy Celebrity running caused a young male passenger from a car driving by to shout out, "Run, Forrest, Run!" Maybe it was because I was wearing a baseball cap, which might have made me look Forrest Gump-like. Maybe it was just the power of the movie which had affected the shouter. I didn't get too mad about it.
Forrest Gump certainly isn't a bad name to be called -- although, I was shocked when my cousin named his son, Forrest. He's a darling of a guy, unlike most people you'll ever meet in your life. He's always out to do the right thing, and he won't have none of your foolish or sarcastic pieces of advice, simply because he won't understand them in the first place.
The movie is all about magic -- there is no way on Earth that anyone could cause so many major events in history to happen. Apparently, according to the movie Forrest Gump, which is fiction, of course - Forrest Gump has:
* Taught Elvis Presley to dance.
* Sparked the whole Watergate investigation.
* Been a muse for a ton of people, including the man who put a smiley face on a shirt and the man who invented the phrase, "***** happens".
And on and on and on. Tons more. I can't think of them right now. His granddaddy even started the Ku Klux Klan. I'm sure in the Forrest Gump universe, by now Forrest has done things like invent the iPod, create Myspace, Facebook and Twitter, helped Michael Jackson rehearse for "This Is It" the week before he died, etc. etc.
Forrest Gump has an IQ of something like 75. He's raised by his mother, played by Sally Field, who will do anything to keep Forrest in a normal school, including sleeping with the principal. He meets a lifelong friend named Jenny on the first day of school. Eventually he grows up, goes to college, and fights in Vietnam with a shrimp obsessed man, also from Forrest's home state, called Bubba.
It has just been released on Blu-ray, so the picture will be better than you've ever seen it.
Ignore all of the Forrest Gump dissenters, the ones who think it's hip to hate the film. Forrest Gump is a treasure, a classic, a monumental piece of work. I hadn't watched it in years until today and now was the best viewing of Forrest Gump I've ever experienced. I could watch it again and again.
Bring Forrest Gump into your life sometime -- knowing that man's kind of destiny, surely he will find you.
(directed by Robert Zemeckis, 1994)
This is one of the greatest movies ever made.
It's constantly ridiculed, constantly criticized ("Anyone could play a retarded person!") but it's pure gold and it'll be with us forever. Released in 1994, Forrest Gump became a cultural phenomenon and gave us so many memorable lines of dialogue. Everywhere I went, people were repeating things like, "Life is like a box of chocolates" and "Stupid is as stupid does."
Not too long ago, I decided to go running, and the sight of Sexy Celebrity running caused a young male passenger from a car driving by to shout out, "Run, Forrest, Run!" Maybe it was because I was wearing a baseball cap, which might have made me look Forrest Gump-like. Maybe it was just the power of the movie which had affected the shouter. I didn't get too mad about it.
Forrest Gump certainly isn't a bad name to be called -- although, I was shocked when my cousin named his son, Forrest. He's a darling of a guy, unlike most people you'll ever meet in your life. He's always out to do the right thing, and he won't have none of your foolish or sarcastic pieces of advice, simply because he won't understand them in the first place.
The movie is all about magic -- there is no way on Earth that anyone could cause so many major events in history to happen. Apparently, according to the movie Forrest Gump, which is fiction, of course - Forrest Gump has:
* Taught Elvis Presley to dance.
* Sparked the whole Watergate investigation.
* Been a muse for a ton of people, including the man who put a smiley face on a shirt and the man who invented the phrase, "***** happens".
And on and on and on. Tons more. I can't think of them right now. His granddaddy even started the Ku Klux Klan. I'm sure in the Forrest Gump universe, by now Forrest has done things like invent the iPod, create Myspace, Facebook and Twitter, helped Michael Jackson rehearse for "This Is It" the week before he died, etc. etc.
Forrest Gump has an IQ of something like 75. He's raised by his mother, played by Sally Field, who will do anything to keep Forrest in a normal school, including sleeping with the principal. He meets a lifelong friend named Jenny on the first day of school. Eventually he grows up, goes to college, and fights in Vietnam with a shrimp obsessed man, also from Forrest's home state, called Bubba.
It has just been released on Blu-ray, so the picture will be better than you've ever seen it.
Ignore all of the Forrest Gump dissenters, the ones who think it's hip to hate the film. Forrest Gump is a treasure, a classic, a monumental piece of work. I hadn't watched it in years until today and now was the best viewing of Forrest Gump I've ever experienced. I could watch it again and again.
Bring Forrest Gump into your life sometime -- knowing that man's kind of destiny, surely he will find you.
Last edited by Sexy Celebrity; 06-20-17 at 07:36 AM.
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Michael Jackson's
THIS IS IT
Directed by Kenny Ortega, 2009
I really don't have much to say about this This Is It movie.
As you probably already know - whether or not you read the spoiler above - Michael Jackson died on June 25, 2009, weeks before he was supposed to start his 50 show performance of his new concert in London. Kenny Ortega, the director of that show, has fastened together a movie featuring parts of the rehearsal.
It's really not as boring as you might think -- what I find kind of odd, in a Twilight Zone way, is that this concert is really getting more exposure thanks to Michael Jackson buying the farm. When the movie begins, there's excitement. You're thinking... wow... this is the first big thing Michael Jackson has done in years... and how odd that it's his final thing.
At first, I was really getting into this movie, as if it were another Thriller (or, The Making of Thriller). But, alas... *sigh*... after awhile, This is It turned into This is Putting Me To Sleep.
Not the big, long, eternal sleep, mind you, but just a temporary nap.
My biggest peeve? Michael Jackson really ruined his final performance of Thriller. I'm sure there are going to be loads of people who think what he did for Thriller in this concert was nothing short than spectacular, but I was deeply upset: Zombies are turned into pirates and even Egyptian mummies. Some of them are sexy women. Most of them hold lanterns.
People, why are you always trying to make everything so "kid friendly"? It is not kid friendly. Kids can handle scarier things than this. At least, I could, and personally, I think I should set an example. I love the original Thriller video directed by John Landis in 1983, and it seems like the rest of the world does too. You wanna know why that video worked so well? Because it's actually pretty scary. There's some intense stuff in there for a music video. The zombies crawling out of the ground, out of man holes, out of masoleums...
And the zombies actually look like real dead people... and act like them, too (I guess)... until they start dancing, that is. WAAAAAAAAY better than pirate zombies.
So, yeah, I was deeply depressed by this. People have gotta learn.
Overall, there isn't much to say about the rest of it. Sure, it's exciting and it looks like it would have been a lot of fun. But I can't say for sure because I didn't witness the actual concert.
As for Kenny Ortega's movie... it was classy, at least. Michael Jackson does appear more normal here, I guess... but... there's not really much of him except for his usual dance routines.
More of a plea to get people to accept Michael Jackson as a normal, kind, loving man who only wanted to "heal the world" and make you take a look at yourself in the mirror... than a rare final look at a man whose mystery and strange grace and beauty leaves us wondering... what was it?
THIS IS IT
Directed by Kenny Ortega, 2009
I really don't have much to say about this This Is It movie.
As you probably already know - whether or not you read the spoiler above - Michael Jackson died on June 25, 2009, weeks before he was supposed to start his 50 show performance of his new concert in London. Kenny Ortega, the director of that show, has fastened together a movie featuring parts of the rehearsal.
It's really not as boring as you might think -- what I find kind of odd, in a Twilight Zone way, is that this concert is really getting more exposure thanks to Michael Jackson buying the farm. When the movie begins, there's excitement. You're thinking... wow... this is the first big thing Michael Jackson has done in years... and how odd that it's his final thing.
At first, I was really getting into this movie, as if it were another Thriller (or, The Making of Thriller). But, alas... *sigh*... after awhile, This is It turned into This is Putting Me To Sleep.
Not the big, long, eternal sleep, mind you, but just a temporary nap.
My biggest peeve? Michael Jackson really ruined his final performance of Thriller. I'm sure there are going to be loads of people who think what he did for Thriller in this concert was nothing short than spectacular, but I was deeply upset: Zombies are turned into pirates and even Egyptian mummies. Some of them are sexy women. Most of them hold lanterns.
People, why are you always trying to make everything so "kid friendly"? It is not kid friendly. Kids can handle scarier things than this. At least, I could, and personally, I think I should set an example. I love the original Thriller video directed by John Landis in 1983, and it seems like the rest of the world does too. You wanna know why that video worked so well? Because it's actually pretty scary. There's some intense stuff in there for a music video. The zombies crawling out of the ground, out of man holes, out of masoleums...
And the zombies actually look like real dead people... and act like them, too (I guess)... until they start dancing, that is. WAAAAAAAAY better than pirate zombies.
So, yeah, I was deeply depressed by this. People have gotta learn.
Overall, there isn't much to say about the rest of it. Sure, it's exciting and it looks like it would have been a lot of fun. But I can't say for sure because I didn't witness the actual concert.
As for Kenny Ortega's movie... it was classy, at least. Michael Jackson does appear more normal here, I guess... but... there's not really much of him except for his usual dance routines.
More of a plea to get people to accept Michael Jackson as a normal, kind, loving man who only wanted to "heal the world" and make you take a look at yourself in the mirror... than a rare final look at a man whose mystery and strange grace and beauty leaves us wondering... what was it?
Last edited by Sexy Celebrity; 03-28-17 at 06:53 PM.
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Sexy, you really surprised me with that review, I somehow figured you would hate it. I loved your spoiler! 
And I agree with you, Thriller was great because it was a bit scary. But it was also great because the idea of dancing zombies is just.. so cool.
I wanted to see this film but I have not been able to get to the cinema.
I came here looking forward to your Twilight review. Will that be up soon?
And I agree with you, Thriller was great because it was a bit scary. But it was also great because the idea of dancing zombies is just.. so cool.
I wanted to see this film but I have not been able to get to the cinema.
I came here looking forward to your Twilight review. Will that be up soon?
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Brothers
(directed by Jim Sheridan, 2009)
The decade that brought us things like the war in Afghanistan, terrorists, Osama bin Laden... and Jake Gyllenhaal... is coming to an end in just a few weeks, and Brothers is the absolute perfect closure to it.
Steaming with sexiness and disturbing content, it is very 2000-2009.
The film begins rather bizarrely: Jake Gyllenhaal, as Tommy Cahill, is just released from prison. He's picked up by his older brother, Sam Cahill (the always adorable Tobey Maguire) who is about to head off to Afghanistan to fight in the war. Together, they head off from the prison in a truck. A few miles ahead on the road, the hottest gay man in the world, if not the universe (including parallel universes) has just been left on the side of the road by his psychotic boyfriend (played by that guy who portrayed Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs).
As the psycho boyfriend's car drives away, blaring "Goodbye Horses", the gay guy (who is in his mid 20's) doesn't know what to do. Luckily, Sam and Tommy Cahill happen to drive by. They lick their lips with hunger, get out of the truck, take the gay guy to the woods, have their way with him, take turns sawing him like a log (but sometimes they don't take turns!) and well... you get the picture. Months pass! Sam and Tommy show the gay guy how masculine they are by hunting and killing animals for food. They grow thick beards and look menacing. The gay guy knits underwear and loin cloths for them. Later, Jodie Foster appears, snooping around. She realizes that she's in the wrong fantasy sequence, so she calls Ellen DeGeneres and asks for directions.
Cut to the next day. Sam Cahill is in Afghanistan. His wife, Grace (played by Natalie Portman, based on a character inspired by Grace Jones, I assume) continues living at home with her two little girls. Tommy Cahill sticks around, hanging out in bars -- sometimes he's about to take a shower, but he refuses to remove the towel wrapped around his waist, so all we see is his furry chest and pinchable nipples). Sam's helicopter in Afghanistan crashes and he's assumed dead. Grace cries. There's a memorial service. Tommy remodels her kitchen and becomes a father figure to her two kids...
But her real husband, Sam, isn't dead... he's being tortured in Afghanistan. The torture scenes were very powerful, but for me, the real torture was not getting to see Tobey Maguire or Jake Gyllenhaal naked. Shirtless was good, but, come on! Gimme, gimme, gimme more!
I thought the film was excellent and ended right. A group of ugly teenage girls sat a few rows in front of me - obviously, they had seen New Moon too much by now and needed some fresher man meat and were hoping to stare at my husbands for two hours -- well, these fools got up and left in a huff with the film was over. "That was pointless!" one of them exclaimed. I worry that these kinds of critics are gonna ruin this film's box office gross - that and CRAP like The Blind Side, with Sandra Bullock playing some country hick who rescues a homeless boy and turns him into a football player. URGH! (Actually, I haven't seen this film, but it still irritates me.)
Brothers is a great film -- sexy enough to turn the theater into a sauna. I recommend going again and again to see the movie -- I'm gonna try. And if you happen to see a guy humping the screen, come over and say hi.
(directed by Jim Sheridan, 2009)
The decade that brought us things like the war in Afghanistan, terrorists, Osama bin Laden... and Jake Gyllenhaal... is coming to an end in just a few weeks, and Brothers is the absolute perfect closure to it.
Steaming with sexiness and disturbing content, it is very 2000-2009.
The film begins rather bizarrely: Jake Gyllenhaal, as Tommy Cahill, is just released from prison. He's picked up by his older brother, Sam Cahill (the always adorable Tobey Maguire) who is about to head off to Afghanistan to fight in the war. Together, they head off from the prison in a truck. A few miles ahead on the road, the hottest gay man in the world, if not the universe (including parallel universes) has just been left on the side of the road by his psychotic boyfriend (played by that guy who portrayed Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs).
As the psycho boyfriend's car drives away, blaring "Goodbye Horses", the gay guy (who is in his mid 20's) doesn't know what to do. Luckily, Sam and Tommy Cahill happen to drive by. They lick their lips with hunger, get out of the truck, take the gay guy to the woods, have their way with him, take turns sawing him like a log (but sometimes they don't take turns!) and well... you get the picture. Months pass! Sam and Tommy show the gay guy how masculine they are by hunting and killing animals for food. They grow thick beards and look menacing. The gay guy knits underwear and loin cloths for them. Later, Jodie Foster appears, snooping around. She realizes that she's in the wrong fantasy sequence, so she calls Ellen DeGeneres and asks for directions.
Cut to the next day. Sam Cahill is in Afghanistan. His wife, Grace (played by Natalie Portman, based on a character inspired by Grace Jones, I assume) continues living at home with her two little girls. Tommy Cahill sticks around, hanging out in bars -- sometimes he's about to take a shower, but he refuses to remove the towel wrapped around his waist, so all we see is his furry chest and pinchable nipples). Sam's helicopter in Afghanistan crashes and he's assumed dead. Grace cries. There's a memorial service. Tommy remodels her kitchen and becomes a father figure to her two kids...
But her real husband, Sam, isn't dead... he's being tortured in Afghanistan. The torture scenes were very powerful, but for me, the real torture was not getting to see Tobey Maguire or Jake Gyllenhaal naked. Shirtless was good, but, come on! Gimme, gimme, gimme more!
I thought the film was excellent and ended right. A group of ugly teenage girls sat a few rows in front of me - obviously, they had seen New Moon too much by now and needed some fresher man meat and were hoping to stare at my husbands for two hours -- well, these fools got up and left in a huff with the film was over. "That was pointless!" one of them exclaimed. I worry that these kinds of critics are gonna ruin this film's box office gross - that and CRAP like The Blind Side, with Sandra Bullock playing some country hick who rescues a homeless boy and turns him into a football player. URGH! (Actually, I haven't seen this film, but it still irritates me.)
Brothers is a great film -- sexy enough to turn the theater into a sauna. I recommend going again and again to see the movie -- I'm gonna try. And if you happen to see a guy humping the screen, come over and say hi.
Last edited by Sexy Celebrity; 05-03-17 at 10:33 PM.
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Cool Hand Luke
(directed by Stuart Rosenberg, 1967)
What kind of jail is this?!
Paul Newman stars as Luke, a man sentenced to be part of a chain gang after getting drunk and cutting the heads off parking meters. He lives in this sort of chicken coop/summer camp cabin with a few dozen or so other men. There's these psychotic wardens and guards that apparently live on the place, watching them 24/7 -- do these people have families? Wives?
And are they even straight?! The guards don't want the men to be noisy and cause a ruckus and they must always obey their commands and stay in line... but while the chain gang is out in the hot field, working away trying to gather beans and such, the guards have no problem if the hot, sweaty men want to take their shirts off!
I mean, there's absolutely no sadistic, drawn out hesistation on the part of these guards -- they want those bare chests shown! They want their shiny pools of sweat on total display! (The sexy pool man recommends you watch Cool Hand Luke on Blu-ray for the full shine.) They want the heat from the sun tanning those bare backs and stinging those manly, erect, criminal nipples. They're probably secretly hoping that the temperature gets so hot it burns the convicts' pants and underwear completely off!
Sometimes they are even forced to strip naked and put on a white sheet and stay in a little wooden phonebooth/outhouse called "The Box". We get to see the dad from The Waltons (Ralph Waite) butt ass naked this way.
What would John Boy say?
My favorite guy, besides the beautiful Paul Newman, was the little short, muscular guy who was very hairy - he had hair on his arms and everything. He is seen soaping up in a shower, but no nudity. Paul Newman even shows his ass, but it's dimly lit.
But my favorite scene in the whole movie is actually an erotic moment involving a woman. A big breasted blonde bimbo traipses outside with a bucket and begins to wash her car in front of the chain gang. She spills soap all over her chest, washes the car windows with her boobs -- Nebbit, are you reading this? -- she plays with a water hose, even putting it up to her mouth, with the water pouring out at full force. I was thinking... I never knew a movie this old could be so perverted! Hysterically, the chain gang boys get rowdy and horny. And YAY! The film immediately cuts to the men washing up in the shower.
Despite the film's annoying blue grass music and country boy atmosphere, this is still a film about noncomformity, fighting the law and being a total badass. Paul Newman, as Luke, escapes from the prison camp several times -- he keeps getting caught and taken back. One particular guy, Dragline (George Kennedy) is totally in love with him -- you can tell he wants Luke to be his boyfriend after they escape together, but Luke takes off without him - *sigh* MEN!
There's also a great scene where Luke bets that he can eat 50 eggs within an hour. You know, if they had made Madea Goes To Jail more like Cool Hand Luke (instead of including that boring, Oprah-esque subplot involving that girl from The Cosby Show) -- IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A MILLION TIMES BETTER!! Madea would be able to eat 50 eggs within a minute! She would have LOVED getting that big helping of food, like the plate that Luke gets near the end of the film, which his bunkmates help him get rid of. Tyler Perry, you need to go to film school!
I believe that Cool Hand Luke is a highly regarded and well loved film around here at Movie Forums. Well, I've finally seen it, and I totally recommend it.
I guess that's it. Thank you for reading.
(directed by Stuart Rosenberg, 1967)
What kind of jail is this?!
Paul Newman stars as Luke, a man sentenced to be part of a chain gang after getting drunk and cutting the heads off parking meters. He lives in this sort of chicken coop/summer camp cabin with a few dozen or so other men. There's these psychotic wardens and guards that apparently live on the place, watching them 24/7 -- do these people have families? Wives?
And are they even straight?! The guards don't want the men to be noisy and cause a ruckus and they must always obey their commands and stay in line... but while the chain gang is out in the hot field, working away trying to gather beans and such, the guards have no problem if the hot, sweaty men want to take their shirts off!
I mean, there's absolutely no sadistic, drawn out hesistation on the part of these guards -- they want those bare chests shown! They want their shiny pools of sweat on total display! (The sexy pool man recommends you watch Cool Hand Luke on Blu-ray for the full shine.) They want the heat from the sun tanning those bare backs and stinging those manly, erect, criminal nipples. They're probably secretly hoping that the temperature gets so hot it burns the convicts' pants and underwear completely off!
Sometimes they are even forced to strip naked and put on a white sheet and stay in a little wooden phonebooth/outhouse called "The Box". We get to see the dad from The Waltons (Ralph Waite) butt ass naked this way.
What would John Boy say?
My favorite guy, besides the beautiful Paul Newman, was the little short, muscular guy who was very hairy - he had hair on his arms and everything. He is seen soaping up in a shower, but no nudity. Paul Newman even shows his ass, but it's dimly lit.
But my favorite scene in the whole movie is actually an erotic moment involving a woman. A big breasted blonde bimbo traipses outside with a bucket and begins to wash her car in front of the chain gang. She spills soap all over her chest, washes the car windows with her boobs -- Nebbit, are you reading this? -- she plays with a water hose, even putting it up to her mouth, with the water pouring out at full force. I was thinking... I never knew a movie this old could be so perverted! Hysterically, the chain gang boys get rowdy and horny. And YAY! The film immediately cuts to the men washing up in the shower.
Despite the film's annoying blue grass music and country boy atmosphere, this is still a film about noncomformity, fighting the law and being a total badass. Paul Newman, as Luke, escapes from the prison camp several times -- he keeps getting caught and taken back. One particular guy, Dragline (George Kennedy) is totally in love with him -- you can tell he wants Luke to be his boyfriend after they escape together, but Luke takes off without him - *sigh* MEN!
There's also a great scene where Luke bets that he can eat 50 eggs within an hour. You know, if they had made Madea Goes To Jail more like Cool Hand Luke (instead of including that boring, Oprah-esque subplot involving that girl from The Cosby Show) -- IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A MILLION TIMES BETTER!! Madea would be able to eat 50 eggs within a minute! She would have LOVED getting that big helping of food, like the plate that Luke gets near the end of the film, which his bunkmates help him get rid of. Tyler Perry, you need to go to film school!
I believe that Cool Hand Luke is a highly regarded and well loved film around here at Movie Forums. Well, I've finally seen it, and I totally recommend it.
I guess that's it. Thank you for reading.
Last edited by Sexy Celebrity; 06-20-17 at 07:35 AM.
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Thanks for rendering me unable to look at Cool Hand Luke the same way again.
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Iro's Top 100 Movies v3.0
I really just want you all angry and confused the whole time.
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You know what, Sexy? I say this about once a day, and I don't think I've ever told you this, but, Son, You've lived a sheltered life! 
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It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
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It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. - John Wooden
My IMDb page
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Nice list, Sexy. The inclusion of Two Lovers intrigues me because I've actually heard it getting some praise yet I saw a trailer that made it out to be a seemingly generic melodrama. I wonder what those people know about it that I don't.
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Favorite Movies
Ghost World
(directed by Terry Zwigoff, 2001)
When Enid and Becky graduate high school, they enter a world filled with responsibilities, challenges, and a familiar horde of freaks, depressives and general human oddities. Colorful Enid (Thora Birch) is enchanted with the sideshow of sad, bizarre personalities, but finds little interest in becoming one of the many "normal" folks, with their responsibilities, general happiness and zest for typical pop culture. It is unknown how long she's been friends with Becky (Scarlett Johansson), but apparently they used to be sisters in their interest in the freakshow of suffering human beings -- but now that high school is over, Becky is coming to the realization that suffering isn't so cool anymore.
Enid technically isn't a high scool graduate until she retakes a high school art class, which she must do over the summer. Her teacher is the always hysterical Illeana Douglas as Roberta Allsworth, a sort of hippie who obviously has some very deep father issues.
Enid herself may have similar father issues -- she lives with her dad, her mother is absent -- is she dead? Did they divorce? Her dad's only known love interest is Maxine, a scary, nerdy looking blonde played by Teri Garr, whom Enid despises.
Enid becomes obsessed with a record collector named Seymour (Steve Buscemi), a man obviously about 20 years older than her, a lonely, sex starved, odd collector of useless items, mostly old drawings and artwork that he showcases on his walls and cabinets. Enid herself is an artist, a cartoonist, something that isn't very much appreciated - at least, in terms of seriousness - by her art teacher, Roberta.
Many characters stand in Enid's way, or at least make her life unhappy -- the art teacher, Maxine, the goons that work at the comic book store that harass Enid, the perky "friends" from her high school that are off trying to be something better, and then Becky, her closest and oldest friend, who's slowly drifting away.
The film has a confusing ending and can be taken with multiple interpretations. Basically, Enid makes her own decisions.
(directed by Terry Zwigoff, 2001)
When Enid and Becky graduate high school, they enter a world filled with responsibilities, challenges, and a familiar horde of freaks, depressives and general human oddities. Colorful Enid (Thora Birch) is enchanted with the sideshow of sad, bizarre personalities, but finds little interest in becoming one of the many "normal" folks, with their responsibilities, general happiness and zest for typical pop culture. It is unknown how long she's been friends with Becky (Scarlett Johansson), but apparently they used to be sisters in their interest in the freakshow of suffering human beings -- but now that high school is over, Becky is coming to the realization that suffering isn't so cool anymore.
Enid technically isn't a high scool graduate until she retakes a high school art class, which she must do over the summer. Her teacher is the always hysterical Illeana Douglas as Roberta Allsworth, a sort of hippie who obviously has some very deep father issues.
Enid herself may have similar father issues -- she lives with her dad, her mother is absent -- is she dead? Did they divorce? Her dad's only known love interest is Maxine, a scary, nerdy looking blonde played by Teri Garr, whom Enid despises.
Enid becomes obsessed with a record collector named Seymour (Steve Buscemi), a man obviously about 20 years older than her, a lonely, sex starved, odd collector of useless items, mostly old drawings and artwork that he showcases on his walls and cabinets. Enid herself is an artist, a cartoonist, something that isn't very much appreciated - at least, in terms of seriousness - by her art teacher, Roberta.
Many characters stand in Enid's way, or at least make her life unhappy -- the art teacher, Maxine, the goons that work at the comic book store that harass Enid, the perky "friends" from her high school that are off trying to be something better, and then Becky, her closest and oldest friend, who's slowly drifting away.
The film has a confusing ending and can be taken with multiple interpretations. Basically, Enid makes her own decisions.
Last edited by Sexy Celebrity; 06-20-17 at 07:33 AM.
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I saw Brothers this weekend. Did we see the same film? 
As usual, Sexy, very, very interesting and entertaining reviews.
As usual, Sexy, very, very interesting and entertaining reviews.
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