Ashdoc's Bollywood movie reviews

Raaz ( Secret ) 3D



Its raining 3D movies this season and I love soaking in such a rain---or should I liken a horror movie to a thunderstorm.....??

So off I went to see this thunderstorm....err , movie....and sure enough , I wasnt disappointed to see a few flashes of horror striking like lightening due to the 3D effects.....

So whats the story ??

Bipasha plays the role of a siren who has dominated the film industry---but as she moves into the late thirties age begins to take over and newer younger divas are ready to upstage her . But such is her addiction to glamour and adulation that she finds it a hard time dealing with it.....actually , who doesn't ??

So is it time for a Bollywood remake of '' Sunset Boulevard '' the Hollywood movie of yore that beautifully showed the pain and the loss felt by a fading female former movie star ??

Naah.....

It's a Bhatt production and you can trust the Bhatts to come out with a sensational solution to Bip's problem.....
.....And the solution is black magic.....

So Bip's baby meets a practitioner of the occult---nothing less than the evil spirit of a dead man , who gives her some water to be given to her chief rival to drink.....water that begins the black magic once ingested by her rival....

And who's the rival ?? She's the voluptuous Esha Gupta with the sumptuous body---the star who is rising on the horizon and walking away with the awards.....she's the leading lady of the film and Bipasha is reduced to playing the negative role.....( I guess age is taking a toll on Bipasha in real life too )

The person who has to administer the magical water is none other than the Bhatt's in house hero Emraan Hashmi , who is director of Esha's film.....

And once he does that , the fun starts.....

Esha's house is rent by her shrieks at night as horror strikes---and it strikes again and again.....

Some women plainly walked out of the cinema hall---and when they do that , you know the thrills and chills are really making an effect.....
Some shocks did make my hair stand on end---and I literally began to wait for the water to be administered to Esha again and again.....though I also waited with trepidation , as the 3D effects were bringing the horror perilously close to me and making me squirm in my seat.....

But masochist that I am ( every movie review reveals a new side of my personality ) , I wanted the director to bring it on with more and more spirits appearing out of nowhere and more screaming.....
The girl sitting besides me seemed to want to reach out and hold my hand during the horror session and I sat there salivating and dreaming of holding her hand but she managed to control herself---leaving me disappointed.....

And the director was disappointing too---the horror stopped after a while and reappeared only at the end of the movie because Emraan fell in love with Esha and stopped giving her the water.....
......And this happened just as the girl next to me was going to lean on me.....Now why did Emraan have to fall in love ??

The director tried to fill the gap between the horror scenes by some luscious mouth to mouth kissing between Emraan and Bipasha and Emraan and Esha ( no the girl besides me didnt get inspired by that )---but we are used to such kissing scenes nowadays aren't we....nothing new and in fact boring......

Its the sound effects that trump over the visual effects and the movie has the effect of making us expect and wait for the horror to begin with breathless anticipation---I wish however that there was more of it.....

Verdict---okay for some on the spot entertainment if cinema hall has 3D and good digital sound . People watching on TV or DVD will be sorely disappointed .

Action Jackson ( 2014 )



As far as this film was concerned---all roads led to Manasvi Mamgai.....!!

For she seemed to be the only good thing in this movie---judging from the promos at least , and from the fact that people were not saying good things about this film....

So I went to see her....
And she did deliver onto my expectations up to some extent , by dancing sensuously spreading her legs apart in high heels and giving sizzling bikini shots showcasing her tall slim soft body and kissing with abandon with her luscious lips reddened by red lipstick . But her entry came only after the interval , and though she looks like a sexy vamp from all quarters , her acting was not great...
But her dancing skills do make up for her not-so-great acting , and that is not a surprise ; her teacher is the master---Prabhudeva himself....for he has directed the film .

Until the interval however I had to make do with Sonakshi Sinha and her exposed fat thighs , but I didn't mind that too---Sonakshi looked okay to me .

The other beauty ( Yami Gautam ) is wasted in this film , for even though she looks as good as ever , her only acting is to get repeatedly beaten up by the villain's goons .

So Ajay Devgan gets to romance three beauties in this film , and for a man of his not-so-good looks this is no mean achievement....
But he rejects the attentions showered on him by the hot Manasvi Mamgai , and that's what sets the story of this movie on course....

But all that is only after the interval , for as I already told you---Manasvi's eagerly anticipated entry ( anticipated by me at least ) is only after the interval....

Then what is before the interval ?? Lot of nonsense....
A silly romance begins to develop between Ajay and Sonakshi---silly because it starts with the belief of Sonakshi that only by seeing Ajay's ding dong jangling from his naked body will her bad luck change to good luck....and what better situation to fall in love than chasing a guy daily in order to see his ding dong daily to get the daily dose of luck...

If you thought this was corny , the fights are even cornier---the blows and punches are 'choreographed' according to the rhythm of music beats , and the whole atmosphere is totally non serious....

The jokes vary from ones which really make you laugh , to the ones which are ridiculous....no they don't make you cry , though I was tempted to say that....

The villain looks really suited for his role however , with a big red mark on his gleaming bald head and menacing wrinkles on his face....

Ajay Devgan has really built up his body , and looks every inch a fighter ; you really pity the fact that he got such stupid fights to fight....looks more like dancing to the rhythm of bongo beats than fighting---it's a Prabhudeva film after all....

And the mighty Prabhudeva may be a great dancer , but he fails in direction....
Music is only so so....

But hey !! Manasvi Mamgai is a sexy find....

Verdict---Not good .
One and a half stars rating .

I enjoy Bollywood movies a lot- they are a fresh break from films that we are used to. A couple of them is one of my favorite movies, the best one being Three Idiots which is currently in 32nd place. With a little bit of polishing I think India can be a country mass-producing masterpieces.

Interesting reviews, will keep reading them when I have time.

Barfi ( Sweetmeat )



We are the dream merchants---says the film industry.....

And in this film the director sells a fantastic dream of love---a story of love between a girl and a deaf and dumb guy.....not just a story of love , but of love fulfilled ; of the lovebirds getting locked in holy matrimony and living life till old age caring and sharing for each other ; of living life to the full in each others arms and dying on the same bed ; of sharing tears and laughter together till the end of their time on earth ;of holding each others hand and protecting each other.....all because they dared to follow the path led by their heart without question and without thinking.....

.....or have i talked too much already and played spoiler ??

maybe i have.....

but then right now i am under the spell of the film and decided to follow my heart just like the film asks us to.....and my heart wanted me to talk freely about the film....

If any film has been made to pass on the message to follow your heart without thinking of practicalities then this is it.....
But actually so many films have been made saying the same thing.....
The triumph of the director of this film lies in making the idea heartrendingly and eyeswettingly believable.....

As for those who let practical matters take precedence over matters of emotion---its loneliness for them.....as Ileana D'Cruz finds out.....

She is the one who loves the deaf and dumb guy ( played by Ranbir Kapoor ) first , but loses him as she listens to her mother who wants her to marry a rich and normal guy .

.......And Ranbir is everything but that....

He is the son of a chauffeur who is forever in motion.....forever running and jumping and falling and making faces and dancing---as if all this hyperactivity would make up for his defects....

But he has no money or future---and Ileana goes out of his world....
.....only to return years later as she finds out that the call of the heart was stronger than the pull of reality.....

But now Ranbir is involved in a complicated case of the kidnapping of an autistic girl ( played by priyanka chopra ) who is now no more....or is she ??

Now Ranbir and Ileana have the chance to live life again by getting together . But do their hearts beat together again just like they did 6 years ago ?? Or will somebody play spoiler ?? Go and find out by seeing the movie....

The acting honours go to both Ranbir and Priyanka Chopra---it was difficult pulling off the role of a deaf and dumb guy and autistic girl but both pull it off with aplomb.....Priyanka especially is in top form.....

The scenery of Darjeeling is well picturised as the story unfolds in convoluted flashbacks ; but the director does manage to tie up the loose ends together as the climax approaches.....the songs too are hummable.....but what remains etched in the mind is the moviemaker's call to follow your heart.....

As I walked out of the cinema hall I thought '' All this is stuff of dreams and fantasy . The real world is all about being practical ''......but the dreams wouldn't go--of finding true love ; of living without a care in the world in the arms of your beloved.....

Well , I told you these moviemakers are dream merchants arent they....and the director is the master of them all.....

Verdict---What a beautiful movie

Rise of the zombie



Rather than calling it ' Rise of the zombie ' this film should rather be called ' Fall of the human ' to animal like status .Or maybe it should be called ' Rise of the animal ' .

Yeah ,that's what the zombie in this film does---fall from its human status and start acting like an animal.....
......And that too become a carnivorous rather than herbivorous animal and start attacking people and eating their flesh after going for their jugular in true carnivore style---only the cameramen from National Geographic and Discovery channel were missing for filming this.....

That's totally different from what I had heard about zombies---that they are dead people whose bodies have been taken over by voodoo practitioners , and who are being made to do what they want.....

OF course , the real truth is said to be that the so called ' zombies ' are actually drugged people who are not dead but alive....

If that is true , then the film comes slightly closer to the truth , in the sense that a live person is doing something under the influence of something injected in his body.....

And who is this live person ??

He is Neil Parker played by Luke Kenny , who has a passion for nature photography.....
......And his passion for nature photography outclasses his passion for his goodlooking girlfriend ( played by Kirti Kulhari ) to the point that she gets totally annoyed and breaks up with him for neglecting her ( somebody give me her phone number please , for I am interested in satisfying the emotional needs and physical wants of such bored and neglected girls with priority given to the physical wants )......

So he stupidly goes back frustrated to the himalayan jungle of what seems to be the Indian state of Sikkim instead of being smart and trying to cajole back his girlfriend ( good for my chances with her.... )......

Here something bites him---though what bites him is not shown....
Now when will that be shown ?? For that , we will have to wait for part two of the film presumably.....!!

As his wound becomes covered by blisters and becomes worse , the point arises in the mind---why does he not see a doctor instead of covering up his wound whenever anybody approaches him.....??
This from a person whose father and best friend are doctors....!!

Who cares , its a stupid film anyway.....

The bite has injected something into him that converts him from a fun loving person who dances with foreign dancers on his lap at sports bar in Malad in Bombay ( are there really foreign dancers who cavort on clients' laps in Bombay bars ?? Since I happen to live in Bombay , I want to go to to Malad right now instead of writing this review---thinking of keeping the review incomplete ) and makes him a flesh eating zombie.....

So what happens to the zombie ?? watch that in part two that is going to come next year.....
......For the director is crazy enough to think that we will wait with bated breath till next year to see this zombiehood spread in the whole land---the next part is called ' Land of the zombie '......

While watching the film I felt that---forget to wait till next year....
.....I should not even have waited till last year---the end of the world predicted in 2012 should have happened , so that I would have been spared the pain of watching this film.....

Verdict--not good .

Matru ki bijlee ka Mandola ( Meet Mr Mandola---father of Matru's girlfriend Bijlee )



It is because we dream that we do......and Harry Mandola ( Pankaj Kapoor ) has but one dream---to convert the farming land near his mansion ( its more like a palace actually ) into a concrete jungle of modern factories, office buildings and shopping malls ; in short , expand the city into his village and earn tons of money.....

And helping him fulfill his dreams is politician Shabana Azmi and her son ; of course , they dream of raking in their share of the money too......and in fact plan to relive Harry of his share and become the sole profiteers themselves in the end---though Harry does not know this....

But the simple people of the village in which Harry lives have their simple dreams too , of growing bountiful crops of wheat on their land and the bountiful crops earning them good money , of electricity being regularly supplied to their village and they be allowed to lead their lives in peace.....

......And these simple dreams of village people come to directly clash with the grand dreams of Harry and Shabana---for it is on the lands of these poor innocent folk that Harry and Shabana plan to build their concrete jungle.....how inconvenient for Harry and Shabana !!

So who is the stronger party ?? The powerful and rich people or the poor innocent villagers ??

The answer to this question is easy--- the rich people have big connections and can squeeze the village folk by forcing the govt to not allow their wheat to be bought by deeming it substandard , or by bringing supply of electricity to the village to a standstill.....

Bur wait !! These are the times of revolution and a figure calling himself an avtar of Mao Tse Tung ( played by Imran Khan ) is ready to bring revolt and red revolution to the land seething with injustice.....

Heavy topic ?? Well , the movie tries to make it light by showing the whole battle in a comic-farce style.....

And to keep the mood whacky we get to see the bold and beautiful side of Anushka Sharma who is Harry's daughter---deliberately taking a half naked dip in the village pond in front of the assembled villagers and emerging wet and wild to their whistles and cheers , dancing with abandon in village dances and coming drunk to her own wedding.....and above all falling in love with the new avtar of Mao Tse Tung......

But does he reciprocate her feelings ( she is the capitalist's daughter after all ) or remain true to the revolution ??

And her father Harry Mandola ?? He loves two things in life---one thing is drink.....

......And when he's drunk he loses his senses and empathizes with the villagers and their problems and is ready to lead the revolution himself , only to reverse his stand and become ruthless businessman when he becomes sober----all in keeping with the nonserious and whacky mood of the film.....

The other thing that Harry loves is his daughter---but he never is able to properly show it.....

The crunch comes when he learns that his feisty and lovely daughter loves the leader of the revolution and is secretly aiding the revolution.....

So when the crunch comes who will Harry side with ?? His daughter and her revolution or his capitalist friends and his dreams ??

Go and watch the movie for getting your answers....

But I am not recommending it much to you---for it carries it's comic and whacky style too far and reduces the whole thing to a farce.....some of the so called ' jokes ' fail to evoke laughter.....

The whole language is in coarse style with full scale obscenities thrown in---though the director has been careful that the obscenities are not given in offensive style .

Pankaj Kapoor and Anushka do put in good performances---and the climax of the film does try to warm the cockles of your heart with some genuine moments of warmth .

Verdict---okay .

Badmaash company (Rogue company)



Back in the mid eighties , it was the time of the cold war . And the economic reforms had not been launched . India was still grovelling in the chains of socialism . During this time , one young man dreams of big , indeed spectacular success.

Indians are strangers to high quality imported goods , the common man cannot do air travel , foreign countries are still ' foreign ' because it is too expensive to go there, and even a call from Mumbai ( oops.....its still called Bombay ) to Indian capital Delhi costs a bomb ( by the standards of those times anyway ).......and even if you are willing to pay , you have to wait half an hour for a trunk call.......

How is one supposed to achieve success in this stifling atmosphere ?

But behold the ambition...........Our hero dreams of snazzy cars , superposh houses ,gambling in casinos , cool drinks in glitzy bars......and above all he dreams of a sexy woman......though he is willing to go massively underambitious on the woman part ......in short ,is willing to stick loyally with one woman ( to the extent of refusing to go to massage parlours while in bangkok , a temptation many cant resist in mumbai/bombay nowadays ),especially becos she delivers on the sexy part.......wearing bikinis......opening her clothes in the middle of a volleyball match to entice him......kissing him uninhibitedly in a car in blinding rain......living and fcuking with him without the entrapment of marriage.....and saying FCUK OFF in style......

And there is only way to achieve this undreamed of success in socialist india........crime , of course......and crime , in the beginning , does pay.......

So out hero teams up with his cool friends and his woman and launches one scam after another........till india becomes too small for him and he has to go big in the land of the free.......America , what else.....

The scams........interesting stuff .........but go and watch the movie.......i am not telling them.......

The film delivers what it promises in the first half, but turns preachy in the second half........robbing you of all the fun

Director Sir ( this to the director )........the name-- badmaash ( rogue )company ........and the promos........ promised cool babes , even hot babes , shady but lovable characters living life to the full......and some real partying.....some real entertainment......and to be honest , you delivered up to some extent in the first half........but do you think the college kids who swarmed to the movie hand in hand with girlfriend / boyfriend came in for preachy sentimentality in the second half ......

The film ,in short , promises ......but does not deliver.......

PK



In all of Amir Khan's films his hard work shows . PK is no exception .
A lot of toil and hard work has been put into every scene , into every dialogue , and into every expression on Amir's face . He certainly carries the whole weight of the film on his capable shoulders , but I would not dare say that he does this effortlessly....
In fact , he has done a lot of effort in fleshing out every scene , and so has the director .

Of course , Amir's trademark expression---that of gouging his own eyeballs almost out their sockets while staring at people---has been tried out before from films like 'Ghulam' to 'Rang de basanti' , but here it did not strike me as odd like it struck me in the earlier two films.....for in this film he plays the role of an alien who has landed on earth , and since everything is new to him on this planet , it is not surprising to see him staring at things with wide eyed awe and amazement and wonder .

And his inability to comprehend things , or more rather his 'alien' way of comprehending things that occur on earth in a different way , gives rise to some really laughable situations especially in the first half of the movie keeping you in splits for some time . This happens because his remote transmitter for communicating with his mother ship gets stolen by a human being immediately after he lands on earth , and he has to spend a lot of time on earth to try get it back---time that he spends discovering new things and giving his own spin on understanding them ; a spin that seems ridiculously funny in the first half but becomes intelligent in the second half of the movie.....so intelligent that powerful people are shaken when begins to question them....

Inevitably , for an alien like him the chief question is human beings' belief in God.....and his own vain search for that God in the hope that God would help him get back his stolen remote transmitter is what gives rise to the funny situations . But his landing on this planet from his mother ship in completely naked condition , his learning about humans' need to cover themselves with clothes , his inability to speak any of the earth's languages and his eventual acquisition of the ability to speak not in any sophisticated language but a queer rural dialect of the Indian state of Rajasthan---all speak volumes about the extraordinary ability of the director ( Raj Kumar Hirani ) to entertain us and the stupendous acting ability of Amir himself .

In the midst of his travails on earth , Amir meets the woman who would eventually make him feel like not wanting to leave this planet ever---Anushka Sharma . Her hairstyle ( what in India is commonly called by those like me who are ignorant in women's hairstyling techniques as 'Bob cut' ) put me off for a while , but gradually I warmed up to it .

And Anushka is the one who discovers the explosive potential of Amir's different but mindblowing take on humans' belief in God , and his ability to hit the bulls eye in questioning the manner in which humans of different religions worship different gods , and the manner in which godmen act as middlemen to rake in financial and other profits while devotees are lured into a fools' paradise of fake promises and false hopes . And like the savvy television anchor that she is , she decides to convert all this in a television show....
But what Anushka does not know is that what happens on the television show would affect her own life....for she has her own past....

So will Amir the lovable alien be able to get back to his planet ?? And will his sojourn on our planet irreversibly change our belief in the way we worship God ?? Does Anushka make an impact on Amir or he will make an impact on her ??
Watch the movie for the answers....

There is no doubt that this is a highly intelligently made film , and it has been made to make us think . It delivers the entertainment and the churning of our minds in equal doses . And it never fails to make us laugh---at our own stupid beliefs . Above all it takes on those manipulative peddlers of religion called godmen , and it takes on them with aplomb . And it never fails to engage the audience---to the very last reel .

Some scenes like a person wearing the clothes of the Hindu God Shiva running away from Amir and cowering in the midst of a crowd may not be liked by orthodox persons , but I didn't mind them . I am not a religious person by nature anyway....
If you are expecting the film to be anti hindu like the hindu nationalists are complaining , your experience will be underwhelming....In fact I found nothing anti hindu in the movie . If you are a believer in some godman and find the film anti your religious beliefs , then your belief in the godman is your own stupidity anyway.....

Of course , the part of Anushka's boyfriend ( Sushant Singh ) being Pakistani is clearly aimed winning over the Pakistan/middle east audience and earning more moolah . Somewhere it hurts to give our Indian girls in marriage to Pakistanis who regularly send terrorists to attack India , and I didn't like that part .

Once again Amir Khan has put heart and soul in acting for a film , and once again he is a winner . Hopefully he shall continue that for years to come....

Verdict---Absolutely brilliant .
Four and a half star rating .

I haven't seen many of your films Ashdoc, so I might be behind on +reps for the review you've written... but I have you down for a MoFie for the best written reviews thread, buddy.

__________________

I feel truly honored

Ugly ( 2014 )



After 'Gangs of Wasseypur' director Anurag Kashyap turns from the badlands of India towards Bombay---the economic capital of India....

But the feel of this movie is the same---dark , gripping and gritty....

He had the chance to show some nice and glitzy locations , and some high octane action using modern gadgets---this being the economic capital after all....

But no....the locations in which the fighting ( it isn't glamorous enough to be called 'action' ) takes place are dark and dingy if not downright filthy....

The people doing the fighting---they spew the choicest abuses and obscenities...all gutter level language....

No fashionable clothes are worn---very few people are well dressed here....

And hardly any person is good---all have either some problem in their relationships , or their ego is too big for them to think in the right direction....

The ending of the movie is sick enough to make you puke....

No wonder the film is called UGLY....

In the midst of all this is caught an innocent little girl who has been kidnapped....

Her step father ( Ronit Roy ) is a big police officer who chronically ill treats her mother , leading her mother ( Tejaswini Kolhapure ) to contemplate suicide....

A man as problematic as him is bound to take the wrong step , and instead of searching properly for the girl he tries to implicate the girl's real father ( his wife's ex husband ) in the kidnapping....

The ex husband ( Rahul Bhat ) tries to upstage the police officer by using extremely high handed tactics to search for his daughter....and he is helped by his friend ( Vineet Kumar Singh ) who has brainwave after brainwave of stupid ideas to get back the daughter---more like brainstorms actually....

Their are several other characters with an axe to grind in the situation...

In the midst of all this the kidnapped girl is nowhere to be found....

Tonnes of blood is leaked , tables and chairs smashed , and mayhem unleashed in this explosive cocktail of a situation....

Several people do several things in order to get what they want out of the situation....

No wonder you feel that people are interested in satisfying their own stupid egos and ambitions rather than rescue the kidnapped girl....

Among all of them , the one who puts a stellar acting performance is actor Girish kulkarni , who plays a policeman who is sidekick to the big police officer---his dialogues ( in marathi accented hindi ) dripping with sarcasm are the only ones that make you laugh for some time in the movie....

Acting by everyone else is decent too---care has been taken by the director to make the acting and the situations look as realistic as possible and not filmy....

The twists and turns keep you hooked on to the movie for a considerable time....

But towards the end the director tries a twist and a turn too many , and loses grip over the situation....

The climax hits you like a cold shower after a hot bath , leaving you stunned....

Mercifully , no songs interrupt the movie ; music is not an important part of the film....

It seems the director got overambitious and lengthened the film too much for it's own good....

So what about the girl and who is her kidnapper ??
Go and watch the movie for that....
But even if you don't , it does not really matter---for I was not particularly impressed by this effort .

The film has been given an 'Adults' rating chiefly for it's violence and bad language , but their are no sex scenes.

Verdict---Just about okay .
Two stars out of five .

PK has been branded as anti hindu by hindu nationalists . the fact that the Indian hindu heroine loves a pakistani muslim in the movie has been branded as promotion of 'love jihad' whereby muslim men convert hindu girls to Islam by marrying them.

read more---

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/i...w/45680709.cms

copy/paste from another site---

5 reasons to protest against ‘PK’?
1. Movie Insults Hindu Gods and Customs : for example – scene of Aamir Khan (PK) chasing a person dressed as Lord Shiva)

b. Movie makes mockery of customs in Hindu Dharma like Serving fodder to cow, Offering milk for ‘abhishek’ on Shivlinga etc.

c. Movie says that ‘Those who fear, go to temples’ thereby insulting Hindus’ belief on God

d. Movie mocks Hindus who visit a pilgrim site or shrine which is hundreds of kilometers away from their home

2. Insult to Hindu Saints : Movie depicts Hindu Saints and Sadhus in very poor light. It also shows that Hindu Sadhus are fanning communal hatred among Hindus against non-Hindus.

3. Encourages Love Jihad : Love Jihad is mocked and termed as imaginary. The female actress is in ‘love’ with a Pakistani Love Jihadi. One should note that Aamir Khan himself is Love Jihadi who married 2 Hindu women (Divorced the first one)

4. Glorifies the Enemy : Movie tries to establish that Pakistani men are very nice and non-violent (even though most of the terrorists in India are backed by Pakistanis and the school curriculum in Pakistan teaches hatred against Hindus and Bharat).

5. Anti-national links : Dr. Subramanian Swamy has questioned the source of funding for the movie; saying that it has been funded by Pakistan's spy agency through muslim
gangsters .

here is a muslim person's take on the controversy---

http://www.ndtv.com/article/blog/pk-...-number-642377

Bombay talkies



Spoiler alert !!

Bombay talkies is a film about the power and the hold of cinema on ordinary people's lives . It seems that in the 100th year of it's inception by the legendary Dadasaheb Phalke , Bollywood wants to pat itself in the back for all the soft power it has been able to generate among the country's teeming millions .

Four directors come together to direct four different short films packaged into one , and each tries to show the influence of cinema on ordinary folk in his own style .

Of course , one should not forget that the cinema folks are the most unnecessarily self important folks in the world . They will try to create their self importance where none exists . Not for nothing has Mario Puzo remarked in his landmark novel ' The godfather ' that in places where there real economy works like for example a car factory , the work happens in absolute silence . On the other hand , in a film studio everyone is making a lot of noise to make himself or herself sound important even though the film industry's contribution to the economy is scant.....

This film is certainly another attempt by the film industry to make itself sound as important as possible---in some parts by showing some outrageous scenes seeming to showcase the extent to which cinema influences the commoners....

Take for instance , the part directed by Zoya Akhtar---where a child begins to discover that he is homosexual/transsexual and wants to be like a girl more than a guy . He idolizes actress Katrina Kaif and wants to dance like her wearing sexy clothes with sexy moves titillating and ensnaring the audience , but with totally feminine gestures . The attempt here is to show how Katrina can be a powerful influence over young minds . But does it have to end in a grotosque show where this little boy organizes a dance where he gyrates like a woman ( who else but Katrina ! ) in front of a stunned gathering wearing lipstick and openly declares his gayness/transsexuality at such a tender age in such a shocking manner ??

The part directed by Karan Johar is also about ( but naturally ) gay pride---since Karan is a well known homo....
In this case a young gay man unsettles the marriage of a couple ( Rani Mukherjee looking sensational in backless blouses and exceptionally full body along with Ranadeep Hooda ) by wooing the husband and bringing out his gay tendencies . The wooing is done by making a beggar girl sing old romantic Lata Mangeshkar songs thus signalling attraction , thus again showing cinema's influence on people . But does it have to end in open mouth to mouth kissing between Ranadeep and the gay man ( played by Saqib Salim ) ???

I found myself squirming in my seat in embarrassment while seeing this male on male kissing scene as also during the gay stage dance of the small homosexual/transsexual boy . So is the film about the power of films on the population or about the power of homos in the film industry ?? There was no need to show two parts out of four concentrating on gays .

The other two parts are better . One part shows Nawazuddin Siddiquie playing a marathi man living in a chawl where his past dreams of becoming an actor have been ground to dust . One day he gets to play an insignificant role opposite a major star and his dreams are awakened and recharged . He completes the scene by adding his own fine touches to it but goes back without accepting monetary payment to tell his daughter about the experience---doesnt care about the money but about the sheer joy of being a part of the film industry for however brief a moment.....thats the passion , the glamour of celluloid.....

The fourth part pays homage to the Amitabh Bachhan---the superstar...and also to his superstardom.....
A man travels from Allahabad to Mumbai just to fulfill his father's wishes of making Amitabh taste his homemade food---and spends weeks trying to reach out to Bachhan.....
......And when he does manage to do so , it becomes a story to tell to his fellow passengers on the way back again and again---only to evoke the jealousy of someone who shatters his dreams....literally....
Oh , the pain of strugglers and the ultimate disappointment for many---beautifully shown as never before.....

Typically , movie reviewers have flocked to sing praises of the film because it celebrates the film industry---and they consider themselves as part of it.....
Who in his right mind would speak ill of what gives him his daily dose of moolah ??

Well , I dont consider myself as part of the film industry and dont earn any money from it---so I beg to differ.....
I found the film brilliant in parts but overall not so great....

Verdict---Okay .

Shootout at Wadala



Manya Surve---a gangster the public has largely forgotten though he was a big name in the late seventies and early eighties Bombay crime scene , eclipsed as he is now by the Dons who rule from Dubai and most importantly Karachi.....

He's been forgotten because he is dead---shot by the police.....and unlike in the case of the Dons who rule Mumbai from Karachi , that gives a chance for the police to brag about their exploits of killing him and film makers to show them on celluloid.....

.....And showing them on celluloid is our very own would be quentin Tarantino---who goes by the name Sanjay Gupta of white feather films.....

So whats the story of Manya Surve ??
If the film maker is to be believed , its the usual Bollywood story of a decent well educated guy who lands in trouble with the police not through his own choice , and is forced to take up a career in crime.....

So what's so special about this film ??

Its the manner in which the action is shown that makes the movie better than average films---though it's all slam bang action with bullets flying and corpses piling and blood freely flowing , the action has a coherence of its own.....

The movie unfolds as a series of flashbacks as the police officer played by Anil Kapoor is taking Manya ( played by John Abraham ) to hospital as he has been shot---and both Anil and Manya ( John ) tell their life stories to each other.....

And John proves that his ' action Abraham ' title is no joke as be once again excels in super action packed sequences.....

Manya's best friend Munir who helps him escape from jail and later joins his gang is played by Tushar Kapoor---whose voice and acting simply lack the power to make his presence felt.....He is here because of his powerful sister Ekta Kapoor's influence......

......And Manya and Munir have to fight their way up against a series of rivals to make their mark in the city.....

Frankly , its an underworld largely though not completely controlled by muslims , and Munir has to resists appeals of common religion from rivals asking him to ditch Manya and join them.....

Happily , he resists and he and Manya form a formidable team which claws its way up in the crime scene of the metropolis.....

But in the end crime never pays and they find their nemesis in the cop played by Anil Kapoor.....
He's the cop frustrated by the police department's lack of ability to catch the criminals , until he gets to lets off his steam by going after Manya.....

In between there are so many Dons that Manya has to tackle ; myriad names that once evoked terror in the seventies and eighties---Batla , Mastan and so many others.....the ones that stand out are the ones played by Manoj Bajpai and Sonu Sood.....

Especially Sonu , who ultimately proves to be Manya's nemesis as he uses his connections with the police department to get the police on to Manya.....

But until he does , we see John play a blood fest---first escaping from prison in a dramatic manner more fit for a western movie , and then taking revenge for those who put him in trouble by killing them , and then forming his own gang....

Anil Kapoor displays the swagger that he did during his earlier days , and his voice does not lack for firepower nor do his guns....
Ultimately he had John have to confront each other.....

But before they do , there is also an interlude of Manya's romance with his love interest played delectably by Kangana Ranaut.....
Not only she looks good but she raises your temperature by some hot love making and kissing scenes.....

Anyway , the temperature of this film is always high as violence spirals---but not out of control.....
Indeed the director has supreme control over the violence and gives us some sound entertainment.....

What really raises the hots is the item song by the uninhibited Sunny Leone who else.....
Not only she looks stunning but moves her curves so deliciously that she can even awaken a dead man.....
Sophie Chaudhary tries to rival her in sexiness in her own item song and nearly succeeds---that's no mean achievement....

The path to hell ( that's where all those gangsters killed in the movie must have gone ) is strewn with roses---at least for the audience , as it gets to see some decent action without too much emotion in this film .

Verdict---good enough for some entertainment .

Haunted 3D



This movie can be enjoyed only with 3D and dolby digital soundtrack . So remember to watch it in a good theater .

With these effects its pretty good , with the jolts and shocks coming regularly and keeping you interested .

At first the movie starts dispiritedly , with the hero with his face having a really rotten expression throughout the film ( we will call him 'rotten face' throughout the review ) having made a deal for an old haunted mansion ( so whats new ?? ) and coming there to confront some strange happenings in the mansion .

As the movie progresses rotten face realizes that the soul haunting the mansion is that of a beautiful girl who has undergone some terrible misfortunes 80 years ago , and she looks up to him to be her saviour---go back 80 years in time to prevent those from misfortunes from ever happening.....to turn the clock back ,almost literally . The terrible misfortunes consists of being held in sexual bondage by the spirit of a vile man who takes advantage of her innocence to commit rape upon her again and again.....the director does not shy from showing graphic scenes of rape committed on the young girl by the evil sexual predator repeatedly.....

But will rotten face want to return back to the present time after completing his task , especially after being introduced to such a beautiful girl ......??

Interested ??

Well ,the movie does get interesting , especially in the second half , as it shrugs off the lethargy of the first half .

The special effects and shocks and jolts are what keep the movie alive . Trouble is , at least in the first half you feel that the director has paid more attention to the 3D effects rather than the story .

But the deadly spirits that suddenly appear to almost hit you on the face due to the 3D effects do keep the action alive .

There was a lot of laughing and sniggering going on among the audience , especially in the first half , but the girls were doing it more to hide their nail-biting nervousness---a nervousness increased wherever the graphic scenes of rape by the evil spirit on the young girl were shown .

But watching this movie on TV or computer is no good--it can be enjoyed only in theater......

And in the theater it is good enough to give you a few scares......

P.S--

To tell a funny incident , the chief evil spirit is that of a man known as Aiyyar .When rotten face is told that taking the name of the spirit increases its power , he deliberately decides to invoke and challenge it by calling ' Aiyyar ' . But it does not appear , and he begins to repeat the name again and again. It still doesn't appear , and the audience began to laugh and snigger and began to chant ' Aiyyar , Aiyyar ' ......And this was supposed to be a serious scene !! I wish the director had avoided such inanity .

Photo of 'Rotten face' from the film ---

Mere brother ki dulhan ( My brother's bride )



When George Bernard Shaw was angrily asked by a playwright as to why he had slept throughout his play when he had invited Shaw to tell his opinion about it , Shaw replied , '' My dear fellow , sleep is an opinion ''

My opinion about this film is a little different.....

It is--I should have gone to sleep.....

In short--Why did I take that mugfull of piping hot coffee that I drank before the start of the movie.....

That cuppa coffee that kept me awake to endure 2 and a half hours of audiovisual torture that they called a film

So what about the film.....??

As the title says ,its a usual Bollywood film about marriage , marriage procession , love , romance and the rest......

Year after year , they make the same kind of films.....

And women still flock to the theaters to see mushy romance.....

......bringing with them their longsuffering menfolk......

Yours truly being one of them......

Difference is--the quality has gone down since earlier times.....

And the chemistry between Imran Khan and Katrina does not even begin to match the one between earlier heroes and heroines.....

Yeah--Katrina is the brother's bride....

Now why does the brother send the hero to India to select a girl for him ??

Obviously , younger brother ( Imraan ) selects a girl of his liking , and she being of his liking , ends up falling in love with her.....

Katrina is the bold one , giving Imraan sleeping pills and kidnapping a reluctant and sleepy Imraan in order to elope with her.....

Like the film , this idea too fails....

Imraan is the smarter one , he invents a plot to make his brother fall out of love of his bride....

So whats the plot ??

Go and watch the movie for that.....

On the other hand , no harm in telling it--who's gonna watch the movie after this review ??

So Imraan brings out his brother's ex-girlfriend from London , who arrives at the marriage venue to create problems....

......And then the brother is the one who elopes with her.....

Leaving the door clear for the consummation of Imraan-Katrina's third-rate romance....

....Also mercifully leaving the door clear for our exit from the theater.....

Back to home sweet home and beauty sleep.....

Oh no !! The coffee's gonna keep me awake until I complete this review !!

Now dont say you went to sleep while reading this review for the writing of which I sat in front of the desktop burning the midnight oil....

After all ,sleep is an opinion , according to George Bernard Shaw.....

Great reviews Ashdoc. I said on another thread how much I always enjoy reading yiur reviews, it's like you're sitting right next to me having a laugh
Keep up the great work, I don't always remember to thank you enough

Thank you Christine

Yeh Dooriyan ( These separations )



And you thought a 40 year old divorced woman with two kids in India leads a shiitty abandoned life ??

Welcome to the new India.....

This 40 year old smashing divorcee with two kids ( Deepshikha )wears miniskirts and even more exposing clothes , has parties with friends where she has male admirers who wish they hadn't been married so they could flirt with her , makes women younger than her jealous of her beauty and charm , keeps herself fit by running a dance school where sexy babes and goodlooking hunks vie for her attention , and goes to exotic vacations with her friends.....

......And while doing all this , does the job of being a good mother to her two kids.....

.......All of which calls for the attention of a goodlooking younger man who falls for her hook ,line and sinker......

And then life turns into a bed of roses , with candle-lit dinners , champagne on the beach and those midnight sessions on the double bed the kind of which leave lovebites on the body and an exhausted feeling of physical happiness in the mind....

And the young man then charms his way into the hearts of the children who yearn for his company , all under the encouraging eyes of liberal , indeed liberated grandparents who dont mind their daughter getting her second chance of love in her life......

To complete the circle of happiness , all this has the approval of her friends , including even the men who had dreamt of being unmarried so that they could one day flirt with her , but now are happy just seeing her joy.....

It all seems a dream......

Well actually , it just is that--its just a dream......

For then enters the dragon......

Actually the dragon enters in the form of the mother of the young man who scowls at the relationship and dins into his head the fact that this backward society of India is never going to accept a younger bachelor's marriage with an older woman with kids.....

And she puts her foot down and demands that he call the whole thing off.....

But not so easy !! He's a young man in love.....

On the other hand , there's also the ex-husband ; the real father of the kids , who is sorry over his earlier behaviour which led to the divorce and wants his wife back......

So what path does our lady choose ?? --The husband or the lover ??

Go and watch the movie for that......

Actually , dont watch--for the ending is disappointing , and disappointing ends make disappointing movies.....

And movies which dont disappoint are a rarity to find......

Just as rare as husbands who really accept their past mistakes , and as rare as boyfriends who have the guts to go against the society.....

In fact , such husbands , such boyfriends , and maybe even such movies dont exist.....

What exist are dreams , but dreams dont ever turn into reality.....

So , dont go to this movie and disappoint yourself.....

Note---

The film is based on leading actress cum director Deepshikha's personal real life experiences . She wanted to marry a younger man after her divorce with her husband but the younger man's mother prevented the marriage .

Now she has gone ahead and married the actor who played the role of the younger man in the film---another younger man . A cougar , isn't she ?

Vicky donor





Let me say that this is the first movie I am reviewing on public demand . Too many people were demanding that I review this film and hence I went and saw the film .

Problem is that whenever too many people say that a particular film is good it builds up a lot of expectations in the mind......and the problem is that when you go with too many expectations in mind the experience is distinctly underwhelming.....
The film rarely matches upto the expectations and you feel it has been overhyped......
Mostly it is better to see a film without expectations , good or bad , and let the goodness or badness of the film sink in your mind.....

What compounded the increase in my expectations are the box office reports of the film---and this film is doing really well at the box office.

One thing about the film---it carries punjabification of hindi films to its furthest and many of the dialogues in the first half are partly in the punjabi language.....at least until the arrival of the heroine with her queen's accented english and polished manners .

So the hero ( played by Ayushmann Khurrana ) is a typical punjabi from Delhi with typical punjabi manners and punjabi mom and grandmom---all largehearted folks leading life merrily , drinking ( even the mom and grandmom ) and not letting the death of the hero's father affect their fun , their little joys and their life .

In barges Dr Chaddha ( Annu Kapoor ) who for no reason at all , feels that Vicky ( Ayushmann ) would make a good sperm donor for women with husbands who have some....err....problem , and need the sperm of another man to conceive. The reason why Vicky is chosen is frankly unconvincing and we will have to leave to cinematic liberty to understand as to why only Vicky fits the bill when too many other men can do this job .
But Dr Chaddha wants only Vicky and only him . And this opens the floodgates of money for Vicky as money pours in from Chaddha .

But what about his personal life ?? He falls for a babe ( Yami Gautam ) who is as different from him as cheese from chalk---while he and his family are roughhewn earthy punjabis , she is classy and beautiful and cultured and a real lady . You have to give credit to the director that he manages to make two different people from different backgrounds look like a real couple---you soon begin to feel its a match made in heaven.....until Yami finds out that she cannot ever become a mother......

Amazingly , she and her family do not know Vicky's real profession and marry him thinking he's a businessman. Only now does the secret tumble out.....

Now will Yami accept this fact about her husband's life ??
Will she come to terms with the fact that her husband literally shags for a living ( using her words ) ??

Go and find out in the theater or on DVD for that.....

The film is enjoyable only if we accept that the director has to be given a lot of cinematic liberty . For example , in real life a sperm donor is not allowed to meet the children he fathered , but in the film a full scale party is arranged where all his fathered children come with their parents and he is allowed to mingle with them !!!

However one must admit that the director has handled the whole topic of sperm donation sensitively and one must give full marks to him for that . Acting by everyone is top class , including Vicky's mother and grandmother who inject real humour in their roles .

Why the film is doing well at the box office is easy to understand . People nowadays like feelgood subjects and this is one of them .

I for one found it to be only a decent film , not fantastic . However this is my personal opinion and people are welcome to differ---there is something in the film because of which I feel others might like it more than I did .

Verdict---decent .