Baywatch (Seth Gordon) It's The Rock and Zac Efron show. Everyone else takes a backseat in this lazy attempt to capture some sort of weird nostalgic feeling for a terrible tv show. The biggest asset to the TV show, is not even used here. Which boggles my mind. You have Alexandra Daddario, a gorgeous woman with big assets that "fit" into the Baywatch model and they don't even showcase them. I'm not trying to be some weird guy who lives in his moms basement complaining about the lack of the female anatomy, but it would fit within this world. The main showcase of slow-mo and body ogling goes to Kelly Rohrbach, a model trying to get an acting career going. The third woman in this film is simply a background character when she should have been more prominent given her character role.
The lifeguards have 3 spots open and hold tryouts for some new recruits. Daddrio, Jon Bass and Zac Efron make the cut. So this shaky team now must investigate a drug cartel that is operating on their beach. They run into some push back when they are told they have no jurisdiction to operate the way they do and to go back to saving lives in the water. This is ignored and the investigation continues. Blah blah blah.
A 21 Jump Street style rip-off with similar jokes, look and feel, just more lazy. Crude humour with forced swearing to feel adult despite everything about the film being juvenile. Zac Efron and The Rock have a competitive nature to their characters. One sequence is simply there to show off Efron's insanely defined body. Something for the ladies indeed. Jon Bass is there, not the most fit person and he's the comedic relief (isn't it obvious?). He gets his junk stuck in a wooden lawn chair. Cue laughter.
A lame villain, obvious jokes and padded story makes this film a chore to get through. One scene gets a few laughs if you are comfortable with gross out humour. It involves a dead guy's penis. Hmm, a lot of dick jokes in this one, literally. Two cameos that are painfully bad just makes this film dig even further down the hole. One of those cameos literally says nothing, just walks into the scene. It's a little embarrassing.
Baywatch is a mess, it's not funny nor is the crime story at its core interesting enough to gain traction. Maybe if the film took a more tongue in cheek route it could have had some fun, but this film is nowhere near that excitement level.