Leprechaun Series
Leprechaun
(Mark Jones, 1993)
Jennifer Aniston, pre-Friends, pre-rhinoplasty, pre-acting ability, is a spoiled daddy's girl on a secluded ranch being terrorized by an evil leprechaun hellbent on retrieving his stolen gold coins. Joining her are 3 Guys That Paint: a Kevin Sorbo-lookin' motherf**ker who quickly becomes the love interest, his kid brother, and a mentally-handicapped man-child named Ozzie. After them is Warwick Davis in culturally-appropriated Irish garb and a day's worth of grotesque make-up, acting his little damn ass off as he scurries about wreaking havoc with impish glee. Nothing about this movie makes any damn sense. For long stretches it feels like a children's film with its silly antics, slapstick humor, and general naivety, then suddenly there's a burst of gore in graphic close-up. The leprechaun's magic manifests itself in the lamest ways, such as teleporting to a car so that he can roller skate behind it, or by welding together a demolition-style go-kart with farm tools in record speed. The absence of his gold coins supposedly weakens his magic, but I think that's either an excuse to skimp on the special-effects or the leprechaun simply enjoys getting his hands bloody by offing fools the old-fashioned way. A four-leaf clover is the leprechaun's kryptonite. He also has an uncontrollable impulse to shine shoes, which is used against him in one of many bizarre WTF sequences. Leprechaun is like a nightmarish version of a Lucky Charms commercial created for (and by?) demented special-needs children. I enjoyed its absurdity, although I’m not sure which fact surprises me more: That this movie spawned numerous sequels, or that Jennifer Aniston became one of the biggest names in Hollywood.
Best Kill: Death by Pogo Stick
Leprechaun 2
(Rodman Flender, 1994)
Once upon a time in Ireland, our favorite leprechaun placed a curse on his human slave, vowing to marry the man's offspring in one thousand years. Why such a long wait? Beats me. Why has the leprechaun been hiding inside a tree dedicated to Harry Houdini? No clue. Why is there not a single mention of the previous film's events? Who cares. (There's a theory that this is an entirely different leprechaun, which would explain the different mythology and newfound abilities/weaknesses of the miniature monster, but I think the most probable explanation is creative laziness.) In some ways Leprechaun 2 is an improvement over its predecessor. The budget is noticeably larger. The world is less constrained. The kills are more bizarre and there's a brief bit of boobage. Yet I found this offering less enjoyable. Perhaps that's the novelty already wearing off. Or maybe I just missed the playful charm of the original. This iteration of the leprechaun is more sadistic. He speaks almost entirely in eye-rolling limericks. He can't hold his liquor. Women are forced to become his bride simply by sneezing three times without a "bless you." (To see if that trick works for me, I’ll soon be blowing pollen in the face of every babe I encounter.) Despite some fun sequences, most of the movie is a slog. The plot follows a standard save-the-princess formula as our useless female character is sought and rescued by a wet-blanket protagonist. Even Warwick Davis, the lifeblood of the series, gives a less inspired performance than his first go-round, as you can already see the mirthful energy in his eyes yielding to cynical dollar signs, much like the gold-obsessed monster he embodies.
Best Kill: Motorboating Mower Blades
Leprechaun 3
(Brian Trenchard-Smith, 1995)
Thanks to a magical medallion and a complete disregard for continuity, our leprechaun is now a stone statue inside a pawn shop on the Las Vegas strip. After an act of greed returns the Irish imp to his original form, he bludgeons the shop owner to death, spits some naughty rhymes, then storms Sin City in search of his stolen shilling, while setting aside enough time to rack fat stacks of chips at the closest craps table. ("This is my kind of place -- crooked and sleazy! Stealing gold from humans is awfully easy!") Leprechaun 3 is the first in the series to abandon aspirations of being a proper horror film, instead committing wholeheartedly to the campy, comedic potential of its premise. We've got our hottest heroine yet, exploding butts and titties, potato addictions, human slot machines, glowing green excrement, werewolf-like transformations, brainwashed stripteases, killer f**k bots; along with important life lessons: don't gamble away your tuition, always heed the warning of a hobo, and the age-old classic: careful what you wish for. The script also touches on sexual harassment in the work place and takes a few pointed, amusing jabs at the health-care industry. Warwick Davis seems to savor every silly sequence, as he dons several new hats throughout the run-time: Elvis impersonator, financial advisor, fortune teller, televangelist, the world's ugliest nurse. It's no surprise to read that he once cited Leprechaun 3 as his favorite of the series. Easily the most entertaining entry thus far.
Best Kill: Boobs, Butt, Botox = Boom!
Leprechaun 4: In Space
(Brian Trenchard-Smith, 1997)
Joining the likes of Jason Voorhees, James Bond, the Brave Little Toaster and other franchises that inexplicably went to space, Leprechaun 4 finds the diminutive horror icon attempting to wed, bed and bury an alien princess to become king of her planet, only to have his plan thwarted by a platoon of cock-blocking space marines. (No mention of the "sneeze once, sneeze twice, she'll become my bride if she sneezes thrice" bullsh*t from the second film, as either this iteration of the leprechaun prefers relationships that are more consensual, or continuity is an abstract concept.) The franchise's silliness has reached new heights, with cartoonish deaths, cross-dressing cyborgs and a scientist who is half human, half ice-cream cart. I learned that it's a death sentence when an alien princess flashes her glittery breasts. And I'll never piss on the dismembered parts of a leprechaun after witnessing its magical spirit swim up urine like a parasite and re-spawn in a man's erection. The tone of Leprechaun 4 is self-aware, but the sudden emphasis on Aliens-style action fits the movie about as well as a Magnum XL on the dick of a gnat. Sets are noticeably cheap. Special-effects are a mixed bag: 90's CGI is PS1 quality, but there's some effectively goopy practical effects, most notably in the creation of a half-scorpion, half-tarantula, half-android monstrosity that makes Brundlefly look like Brad Pitt. Leprechaun 4 boasts a higher body count than every previous installment combined, but apparently the FX department didn't have any buy-one-get-one-free coupons to splurge on gore. The movie literally ends with a giant middle finger to its audience. I'm sure that act is reciprocated among many viewers for having 90-minutes of their lives wasted on such idiocy.
Best Kill: Pan Face
Leprechaun in the Hood
(Rob Spera, 2000)
Given the Lep's affinity for rhymes, it was only a matter of time until he found himself embroiled in the rap game. His venture into the hood starts promisingly with a one-on-one battle against Ice-T, who sports disco-era bell-bottoms, platform shoes and a Foxy Brown-style afro, from which Ice-T first retrieves a switchblade, then a full-on baseball bat in the film's biggest laugh. Unfortunately, the movie peaks with that opening scene. Instead of Leprechaun: Blaxploitation Edition, the hypothetical version I'd hoped to watch, we get what feels like the nineteenth sequel to Friday, a lazy comedy about three aspiring rappers and their misadventures with a magical flute. As some rapper probably once said, "Dis sh*t whack!" The leprechaun's skin is a noticeably darker hue than in previous installments. He's also surprisingly horny, as he keeps a brothel of "zombie hoes" and slips beneath the sheets with a trans woman. (I'm still unsure if the woman's come-on about the leprechaun being "just the right size" is meant to imply that she's into little people or little children.) Leprechaun in the Hood abounds in stereotypes associated with its setting. This means our Satanic imp develops a taste for the Devil's lettuce. ("A friend with weed is a friend indeed!") In a rare moment of cleverness for this horrible script, four-leaf clovers (the leprechaun's original weakness, which hasn't been referenced again in any of the sequels) is rolled into a blunt. Warwick Davis, sporting bling and quoting Martin Luther King, seems comfortable prowling this new urban environment, but either his screen time is the shortest yet or I felt his absences more than any previous entry. Ice-T, who carries himself like a seasoned thespian compared to the rest of the cast, also takes a backseat to our insufferable trio of protagonists. Pacing is non-existent. Attempts at humor are mostly cringeworthy and insulting. Cross-dressing has suddenly turned into a recurring theme. The kills mostly consist of people being choked or shot instead of magically disposed. Hopefully the Lep's trip Back 2 tha Hood is a step up from this piece of sh*t, as this is the first entry in the franchise that I haven’t enjoyed to at least some extent.
Best Kill: Afro Pick to the Neck
Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood
(Steven Ayromlooi, 2003)
You could chop Warwick Davis off at the knees and he still wouldn't be short enough to limbo underneath the standards of quality set by this series; so when I say that Back 2 tha Hood might be the best Leprechaun, I only mean that it's surprisingly competent. The story --- a group of friends incur the leprechaun's wrath after taking his precious gold -- is the template of every Leprechaun movie, but the lack of ludicrous embellishments and side-plots makes this version feel shockingly simple compared to previous entries. The urban setting feels more authentic than our last stay in the hood, and is mostly absent of racist undertones. Characters are thinly written, the performances adequate at best, but the chemistry between the core group feels genuine, and their lack of obnoxiousness is a welcome respite. Warwick Davis has expressed interest in reprising the role once his children reach adulthood, but if this remains his swan song as the iconic villain, he leaves a strong last impression, demonstrating comedic chops and intimidating malice like a small, green Freddy Krueger. In fact, the tonal balance between humor and horror is the smoothest in the series. The characters are picked off one-by-one, slasher-style, but I liked that each character gets an opportunity to fight back. Most of the kills are hilariously over-the-top, such as a cop having his leg easily ripped off before futilely hopping on his remaining leg until he bleeds out and falls over. Obligatory height jokes are hit and miss, but there's several amusing visual gags and WTF tangents. And once again our leprechaun gets high and suffers from the munchies. ("This isn't gonna stunt your growth, is it?") Like every movie in the franchise, Back 2 tha Hood indulges in silliness (e.g., a magic duel between the leprechaun and a witch), but it doesn't feel as childish as earlier entries. Part of that may be the noticeable absence of rhymes, which for me has always been the character's most annoying trait. Warwick Davis's wardrobe has undergone subtle changes, giving him a classier, aristocratic appearance that suits the random prologue explaining his origins. The fresh duds plus the excision of limericks result in a more sinister, bad-ass portrayal of the miniature menace than any previous Leprechaun can boast. Back 2 tha Hood doesn't quite match the entertainment factor of the Lep's visit to Vegas, but it's a surprisingly decent comedy-horror, especially in comparison to the dreck that preceded it.
Best Kill: Bong Impalement
Leprechaun: Origins
(Zach Lipovsky, 2014)
Leprechaun: Origins is so terrible that I feel the urge to retroactively boost my rating for every previous movie in the franchise. There's nothing wrong with rebooting the series with a darker, more traditional approach, but the filmmakers have completely sapped their product of personality by shunning the so-bad-it's-good campiness of the earlier films in favor of one of the most unoriginal creature-features I've ever seen. Replacing Warwick Davis is Vince McMahon's illegitimate son, WWE Superstar Hornswoggle, who receives top billing despite being indistinguishable underneath a mountain of latex and rubber. This rebooted version of the leprechaun is mute and often out of focus, so for all we know the former Cruiserweight Champion spent the entire movie hiding underneath a wrestling ring while someone else of diminutive stature ran around fake Ireland pretending to be a cave-dweller from The Descent. Besides a lust for gold, this monster shares zero similarities with the Warwick Davis iterations, nor does it resemble an actual f**king leprechaun. Generic Creature: Blatant Cash Grab of an Established Franchise would've been a more apt title. The other Leprechaun movies might've been poorly made, but at least they possessed a modicum of charm and creativity. Origins is built entirely of tropes and clichés. There's not a single moment in this film that doesn't feel recycled from a thousand slashers and creature-features to come before it, making every story beat boringly predictable, every character wearisomely familiar. The closest we get to an "origin" is a lazily placed mythology book that the characters read for a quick exposition dump. Cinematography is ugly and washed out. Camera work is shoddy and frenetic, as it attempts to hide the production's cheapness. A major character randomly disappears without explanation. Acting is adequate, which is probably the closest thing to praise I can give this abomination. If not for the explicit gore, I would've mistaken this for a SyFy made-for-TV production. (Fittingly, that's the exact route that the series would subsequently take.) Leprechaun: Origins is an insult to audiences, an insult to horror, an insult to leprechauns. It is the personification of lazy, unoriginal filmmaking.
Best Kill: Spinal Rip
Series Ranked:
#1) Leprechaun 3
#2) Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood
#3) Leprechaun
#4) Leprechaun 2
#5) Leprechaun 4: In Space
#6) Leprechaun in the Hood
#7) Leprechaun: Origins
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