The MoFo Support Group

What is with this thread lately? Now Holden Pike makes his first appearance in The MoFo Support Group and does a Dear Abby impression.

On one hand, yes. And I agree with what you say about how loving and losing can make you stronger and better able to define what you need.

But I'm not really convinced it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I'm not a pusher for that kind of philosophy. There can be smarter and/or better ways to live your life than to live it in the service of loving someone else. Being in love can be quite a fulfilling experience, but then if you lose that person...... well..... I just don't believe that it's better to have loved than lost is always right. I can't espouse that motto because I don't want people hearing it and thinking, "Oh! I better fall in love because it's much better than never being in love!"

If you fail at a relationship, I don't think it's so great to hear, "at least you loved someone!" Big F'in deal. They're now loving someone else. I wasted my time with that person. I could have been doing something else. I'd rather be told, "Why were you even with that person? What a moron you were." Slap me back to reality. Don't keep me in the obsolete love fantasy with, "But you at least experienced love!!!!!!!"

If you want to find love, trust me, you have to be brave. Hell, you gotta be fearless. Why? Because it's worth it. They wouldn't call it "Falling in love" if you didn't get hurt sometimes. But you just pick yourself up and move on.

Unless this person you're interested in is one of your bosses at work, a lot older or younger than you, gay or straight (depending on your orientation), or otherwise illegal or inappropriate, there is ALWAYS a chance you could get them. I am no great catch (overweight, low paying job, Generalized Anxiety Disorder), but I have had several serious relationships. So if my dumb @ss can do it, so can you! You HAVE to be bold in life. You're gonna get the sh*t end of the stick sometimes, and it's gonna suck, but you cannot just give up. No matter what, if said person says no, remember that there is NOTHING wrong with you. Don't take it personally. Not everyone is gonna be interested in another person romantically. You just gotta say "their loss," and keep looking for someone who will want what you have to offer. It will happen, I promise you this.

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https://shawnsmovienight.blogspot.com/

Thank you for your kind words and advice everyone


There's one more thing I think I should have made a bit more clear:

Well, I wrote "no chance in hell" because I'm a guy. The person in question is a guy. I like guys. The person in question does not. So yeah... not gonna happen.

Anyway, I've been thinking about the whole thing a lot and I've reached the conclusion that for now there's no reason to get freaked out just yet. Yes, the situation is very similar to what it was before and some of the feelings are as well but it may just be my tired mind playing tricks. Perhaps my general loneliness is forcing me to subconsciously seek out and blow out of proportions any small feelings towards people I might have. I don't know. However, the way I see it, the situation won't become serious before the only thing I can think about when I close my eyes before sleep is that person, and I'm not there yet so hopefully I'm gonna be fine.

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I thought that was the case. Maybe you told me you liked guys before.

Lorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd, do I know what you're going through.

Don't make a big deal about it.

If he's not into guys.... well.... it doesn't hurt to fantasize.

Be a friend to him -- if you are -- but don't cross any lines. Unless, of course, he crosses them first. At least you'll have a friend whom you really love.

Sometimes admitting these feelings to the person, in a way that doesn't freak them out, can even be liberating. As long as he's cool with handling it. Some guys aren't. If he knows you're gay, crushing on him is just gonna be natural. It comes with the territory, I believe. Straight guys are always hotter than the gay guys when you're gay. Nobody wants a nelly queen boyfriend. You get one of those when you're old, just like how the hot straight guys end up with the fat, ugly wives. In the meantime, enjoy your straight boys.

So....I had to put my dog down today. Coco, a Shepard/Lab/Terrier who was 17 years old. I first got her when I was 10 years old. I've had her for more than half my life. A few years ago she suffered an episode. Idiopathic Vestibular Disease to be exact. She wasn't ever really the same. It was harder for her to keep her balance, no more jumping on the couch, etc. But she was still healthy, still loveable and still my dog.

The last few months have been hard, as she has arthritis, cataracts and slightly going deaf. Talk about old age. She suddenly stopped eating, became really thin, unable to really walk. She would just lie around all day. Finally it was decided that we can't be selfish anymore. Watching a dog die right in front of your eyes is a very hard thing to witness.

She'd been part of the family for so long that it's hard to remember a time before. It will definitely be weird now that we don't have her walking around the house. Barking at the nearby dogs, basically everything dogs do.

Also, I know I haven't been around much the past couple of months. Sorry I've missed a few things around here.

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Suspect's Reviews

It's a ridiculous world we live in, knowing everything has to die.

I'm so sorry about your dog.

I've had pets all my life, so I know how you feel, but it sounds like she lived a long, happy life. It's tough to lose a pet, but you just have to remember how much love you gave each other while she was here.

You got a lot of love and gave a lot of love to Coco. I hope that can give you some solace Suspect. I know how you feel.

Sorry to hear that Suspect. I had to go through something similar not too long ago. Best wishes.

I'm sorry TUS. I've had dogs die in the past for similar reasons and it's always so hard to watch them go through pain and not seem to enjoy life. You care about them and want them to feel alive and happy. I always have to remind myself when I remember them that we helped them live good, happy lives while they were around, and that makes me feel a bit better. Stay in there buddy.

TUS, Sorry to hear about Coco. It's really tough when you have to see your beloved dog put to sleep. Sounds like she had a long and happy life tho, thanks to you and your family.
Take care x

Sorry for your loss, TUS. 17 years is a long, long time though and it sounds like most/all of it was a good, healthy happy life with you.

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Sorry to hear that, TUS.

So Sorry for your loss TUS

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vladimir had a doggie stroke about a year ago and I had to carry him up and down the stairs for a couple of months. He did eventually recover for the most part.. turns 6 in two months. He is also blind from his diabetes but he's still a happy dog. I dread the day that I'll have to lose him, although for a while there I thought I'd go first now I'm not sure.

Sorry to hear about your dog, TUS. I had to put my 11-year-old Golden Retriever down last year - it's not an easy thing to do or get used to.

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Sorry about your loss TUS. I have a dog too and although he's still young I always worry about an inevitable goodbye sooner or later. I always try to look on the bright side but it isn't easy. I feel you man, hope everything is okay.

Why would you die? Are you suicidal?

Well, there's nothing to worry about. Someday, yes, your dog will die. Just as you will. Just as I will! We all die! I'm not looking forward to it, I don't wanna experience it (ooooh, scary), but everything's got an expiration date stamped on it.

I think you'll find that's just a tattoo you got after a particularly wild and drunken night, SC.