Worst Things To Say On A 1st Date

queen?

Literally

haha

Shoulda outed myself as the queen of bad taste. Makes this thread my realm. Ha!

Must have been of all that BvS watching.

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How dare you say that when YOU LOVE ME SO!!!!!


oh... wait....

I didn't know she was a fan. I'd have bought her flowers, and called her "Martha".

I only have an hour for this date. I violated my parole and have a train to catch.

You remind me of my mother

You remind me of my father

You remind me of my step mom who used to tie me to a heater and hit me with wire hangers

Insanity runs in my family

I love kids. I donate sperm twice a week to spread my seed.

The gun is good. The penis is evil.

How do you feel about incorporating a car battery into your sex life?

You have something in ear *does the quarter magic trick* TADA!!!!

What are your feelings on polygamy?

What are your feelings on polyandry?

My wife and I have an understanding

My husband likes to watch me with other men

My cousin has the biggest dick I have ever seen.

It's small but it's fierce.

Elsa in Frozen was SOOOOOOOOOOOO hot!

Real life chicks will never be as hot as anime chicks

A couple that poos together stays together

S*** in my mouth!



US Army specific ones:

My husband is deployed and lets me date other men (I sadly have experience from Ft Hood)

I am the general's daughter

I am the Sergeant Major's daughter

I am AWOL. Want to be AWOL with me?

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Fear and Loathing in MoFo... The Gunslinger 45's Top 50 Favorite Films

In the 10 Ring: Gunslinger45's reviews

"I'm going to send a vague text in a couple of days that leaves you confused about my level of interest."

That's Omar's street corner name.

"I want to **** you."

"Would you **** me? I'd **** me. I'd **** me hard. I'd **** me so hard."

"Put the ****ing lotion in the basket!"

"I can smell your ****."

"We don't have time for this."

Where's Shannon when we need her?

More US Army ones:

I am a great lover! FRONT LEANING REST POSITION; MOVE!!!!! IN CADENCE! EXERCISE! ONE... TWO... THREE!

You better un-f**k yourself if you want to get laid tonight!

Wanna play with my gun? It is standard issue

You have the proper clearance... to my heart.

You have the proper clearance... to my pants

I'm saluting you right now

Those guys at Bravo Companies barracks are really nice. I blew all of them.

My MOS is 69XXX (if you get this joke you might be a veteran)

My battle buddy is the best. When I got shot he saved my life by stopping the bleeding. And when you have another man's fingers inside of you your life changes forever.

There is no mortar fire here, how the hell am I supposed to get hard?

Featuring a procession of taxi drivers, throwing out men built like brick shithouses for screaming "WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?"

What can I say? Thought of a bunch of lines from The Silence of the Lambs that happen to be terrible for a first date.

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Look, Dr. Lesh, we don't care about the disturbances, the pounding and the flashing, the screaming, the music. We just want you to find our little girl.

74 - I hold the Guinness Book of Records for longest and wildest Orgy with men women and animals from 123 different countries.
75 - I like horses. I REALLY LIKE HORSES!
76 - I usually dream I'm sliding down a huge pine tree. And it tickles.
77 - My daddy made me swear never to tell our little secret.
78 - And so did my mommy
79 - And my Grandpa
80 - I had 20 exorcisms performed on me.
81 - What's the capital of [insert your own country]?..... errrr....
82 - The last book I read had lots of words on it
83 - [if you're a girl] I've been a groupie for Iron Maiden. Metallica, Motorhead, Alice Cooper, Black Sabbath...

There's a British series called First Dates. I highly recommend it. So much facepalm, headdesk, and screaming in pillow...

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."

Just don't say, "I work for the IRS"

No Motley Crue?