5. The Heroic Trio
Three hot asian super-heroines who fight crime with cool moves & sexy outfits.
Makes anyone's pimp-ass want to do sumthin villainous just for the spanking.
4. Streets Of Fire
Initially, this movie had all the makings of big hit: a then up & comer Michael Pare, a very young & incredibly sexy Diane Lane, a bad-ass Flock Of Seagulls lookin' William Dafoe, a serious role for Rick Moranis, a cool soundtrack, all capped off with a script & direction by Walter Hill, the guy responsible for The Warriors, Southern Comfort & 48 Hours. Oh, and Another 48 Hours. And the '85 version of Bewster's Millions. And Supernova.
So I guess the moral of this rock'n'roll fable is "Tonight.... is what it means to be young."
3. Purple Rain
Okay, so maybe the non-musical parts of the Kid's debut film leave something to be desired.
But this 1984 rock 'n' roll anomaly featuring the Minneapolis funk acts Prince, the Revolution, the Time & Apollonia-6, contains concert performances that, along with their charismatically maneuvered dance moves, are some of the most energetic caught on film.
And all the songs, every one penned by the main musical mini-might star of this show, culminate into one of the best movie soundtracks ever recorded.
But the movie is still crap.
2. The Blob (1988 version)
A big giant glob of pink snot that only gets bigger & bigger as the movie progresses.
Could somebody hand me over a city-sized piece of tissue, please?
1. Plan 9 from Outer Space
While I initially dimissed this king of kings of all crappy movies because of it's reputation, I have since then actually developed an affection towards this film.
Sure,
it's probably lives up to it's rep as the worst movie ever made,
but it's not without it's charm.
There are plenty of bad movies out there that are just bad & then that's it. No more to add.
But this film,
there's an instinctual level to it,
in which it feels like that there came a day when all the film-gods gathered together & decided to inspire a woman's cashmere sweater wearing b-film (okay, okay.....d-film....& that's being generous) "director" to make a movie that's so bad, it can almost remind us that a big part the concept of filmmaking is to just have fun. To "escape" into the process of making a movie as much as in the viewing.
Okay, maybe not everyone will get any kind of positive response from watching this trainwreck of falling backdrops & bad acting (really bad acting), but you don't even have to watch it. Just knowing that it's there is enough. As a reminder that we can not have a day without a night. We cannot have the good without the bad.
We cannot have an Apocalypse Now without a Plan 9 From Outer Space.
To reminds us just how good movies can be if some of 'em can be this bad.
And to it's credit, considering the time it was made,
some of the effects are kinda amazing.
I mean, I don't know how they did it, but they actually made some of the props in this film look like they were made out of
actual cardboard.
And this was before CGI.
Like
way before.