Movies you PRAY they never remake

You can't improve upon perfection. The film is perfectly bad and it will never be exceeded.

So many. Imagine Hollywood remade 'Stalker'

Come and See
Jeanne Dielman
Wings of Desire
The Spirit of the Beehive

Please stop doing remakes of remakes, one remake is enough and besides that....those never get any better anyway.

Can't see anyone actually trying to remake Parasite...really don't see what anyone else could bring to that movie.

"One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"

Its nearing 50 years old and surprised it hasn't been attacked yet.

Second that! I'm surprised it hasn't been rebooted as a shock-horror film. Come to think of it, if I was a producer I'd be making that film

Don't ever do another Ben Hur remake. I've seen bits and pieces of the old old silent version and some of the dumb-ass 2016 remake. Given that the 2016 remake was a remake of a remake already, I could not understand why anybody would do that. The 1959 one, in spite of some strange cultural aspects like Charlton Heston as an ancient world Jew, was probably the apex of that old pre-digital "cast of thousands", huge prop, mega epic. I don't know why anybody would want to remake that, anymore than why anybody would remake something like It's a Wonderful Life, which was so much a product of its acting performances and 1940's feel. I'm fairly not good on remakes, prefer new content, even when it's derivative.

Cannibal Holocaust

Updated for modern audiences!

Directed by Uwe Boll

We wanted to get on the inside of this film and connect with issues that matter to people today. Our film is deeply ecological raises issues of overpopulation and climate change. Also, we've made the character vegetarians to cut out that gross stuff from the original, but man do they chomp into those raw vegetables.

However, the veggies that were used in the film were the ones that received positive affirmations in scientific growth experiments.

It has actually... sort of. They made a TV series called Ratched, which was a spin-off.

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Think I recall something about that. Anyone seen it?

Well, I'm the sort who typically rears back and hisses like a vampire at a proffered crucifix at virtually any and all remakes anyway, believing firmly as I do that "The original creator, by definition, did not get things 'wrong' in the first place." That does not mean, He Added Hastily, that one may never prefer, for whatever personal reason(s), any given remake, solely on its own terms; just that -- provided the initial completed work was as its progenitor fully intended -- it is/was/always will be de facto "right," period, end of.


(As an aside, here's an example for any other old comic book fans out there: Alan Moore's run on the '80s Swamp Thing series may be the objectively superior one, insofar as overall fan boy esteem is concerned... but: the original Len Wein/Bernie Wrightson tales, by said character's twin daddies, is, inherently and quite rightly, the definitive "take" overall. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. )


All that being established beforehand, then: the following are all films I literally cannot imagine ever being "improved" upon, regardless of whatever dreamy, fannish wish-casting, re: cast or director, they might otherwise excite. Your mileage, of course, may vary.


ALL ABOUT EVE -- because any "better" version must rest upon the baseline assumption that there exists, anywhere in all of time or space, an actress more perfectly suited to the role of "Margo Channing" than the dearly departed Bette Davis; an absurdity, on its very face.


HARVEY -- see above, only substituting "Elwood P. Dowd" and James Stewart for Channing and Davis, respectively.


UGETSU -- Kenji Mizoguchi's eerie, trundling nightmare pastoral of a flick could never be remade nowadays, without changing crucial storytelling elements to suit the more pinched, schoolmarmish tastes of "modern audiences." Neither of the film's female characters would be allowed to meet their respective dire fates (Miyagi, for instance, would have easily defeated her two sword-wielding robbers in combat barehanded, instead, and gone on to become empowered girl-boss Empress of All Japan). Sooner would I watch someone using a black Sharpie to add moose antlers to the Virgin Mary, in the Pieta.



Those are the first three springing immediately to mind for me, at any rate.

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"If it was priggish for an older generation of reviewers to be ashamed of what they enjoyed and to feel they had to be contemptuous of popular entertainment, it's even more priggish for a new movie generation to be so proud of what they enjoy that they use their education to try to place trash within the acceptable academic tradition." -- Pauline Kael

Personally, I'm fine with any movie being remade. It just depends on the director, the cast, which direction they're taking the film in, etc.

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The Happening.

It was so god awful that to make it twice would be the death of all movies forever.

"They don't re-make em like they used to!" - Mort Sahl


I hope none of them are re-made.. I wish they'd make something original for once that was good.

It's unfortunate, because people I used to know LOVED movies, and now, it seems as if they don't exist. "There's nothing good" or "I can't focus" another malady.

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People are gonna hate me for saying this, but I wouldn't mind if a Rocky remake centered just a little more on his life as a loanshark collector. That seemed kind of thrown in there and never resolved. As a gangster movie fan, I really wanted more of this.


Instead, I'll throw in a couple historical movies: Malcolm X and Zodiac. They handled the history perfectly, and I see no reason to try and make those movies again.

Yo, Adrian. Just when thought like I got out, you know, they like pulled me back in.