Rate The Last Movie You Saw

The Negotiator (1998)

Grotesque (1988)

Oh boy, two films today and both receive one star. In this case, I have no one else to blame but me. What a stupid and incompetent home invasion slash monster feature. I think the makers realized how bad it was, and threw in the laughable twist in the end for a get-out-of-jail-free card due to not being serious. On top of everything else, even Linda Blair keeps her clothes on for the whole film.

The Furies, 1950

An old rancher named TC (Walter Huston) owns a huge property in New Mexico knows as the Furies. He manages the property in part with his daughter, Vance (Barbara Stanwyck), who loves the land deeply. TC is constantly annoyed with the presence of squatters on the property, especially the Herrera family. Vance has a deep friendship with the eldest Herrera son, Juan (Gilbert Roland). But when TC begins to take action that will cut Vance out of her place on the ranch, he and Vance get into a serious conflict that only deepens as each of them digs their heels in deeper.

It is rare that I can truly identify a moment where a movie lost me, but in this case it is crystal clear. The first half of this film is amazing and I was totally in love with it aside from one element. But around the halfway point something happens and from there I watched the rest of the film with a mix of bafflement and slight disgust.

The first half of the movie is mostly a delight. Stanwyck and Huston have solid chemistry together as two people who are just as stubborn as each other and clearly love sparring with each other. I also really enjoyed the sequences between Vance and Juan--a great portrayal of a loving and respectful relationship between two people. Juan is in love with Vance, and she knows it, but he respects that she doesn't return his romantic feelings and the two are able to continue their friendship.

The one sour note for me in the first half was Vance's romantic pursuit of another main character, Rip Darrow (Wendell Corey). Rip believes that part of the Furies rightfully belongs to him and his family, and romancing Vance is a good way to get back at TC. It is easy to understand that Vance would need a strong man, and that in the mold of her father she might even prefer one who is slightly domineering. But there is a scene between Rip and Vance that really put me off. When he stands her up for dinner she goes to his home. And angry at her he grabs her by the hair, hits her, pushes her down, submerges her face in a basin of water, and calls her names. This really crossed a line for me, and watching Vance run after him like a kicked puppy was gross. There could have been a well-observed theme here about why Vance continues to like Rip, but the film never bothers to even attempt to explain. She just loves him, ya'll. And for a character who has been so strong, this sudden meekness is kind of confusing.

But the film picks up again nicely as TC brings home a new wife, Flo (Judith Anderson), and blatantly begins to push Vance out. TC also offers Rip a bribe to break things off with Vance. Fed up at his interference, Vance attacks Flo and then runs away to join the Herreras. TC and a crew of ranch hands get into a standoff with the Herrera family, as Vance frets.

It is the conclusion of this standoff that leads to the moment in which the movie "broke" from my point of view. I'll put the rest of this review in spoiler tags.



If the second half had matched the first in intensity and character work, this would have been an instant classic.

So spot on. I gave it 3 stars for the same reason. What a bummer. Stanwyck and Huston were so awesome together. And it's a movie fundamentally about a strong woman...and then that ****. And the part when he tells her she will be a quiet wife. My god. Appalling. And that ending... WTF? Stanwyck didn't seem a bit sad. The mythologizing of T.C. was really weird too. What were we supposed to think of him? What was this movie even about? I feel like this one got rewrote by different writers with different points of view and it never was adequately brought together.

Food of the Gods - There was a void somewhere in my giant-mutated-creatures-run-amok film catalogue and this fit the bill. But these kinds of cheesy, low budget and badly acted productions rarely satisfy. Stuff like Night of the Lepus and Bug. Empty calories and whatnot. It stars former child preacher Marjoe Gortner, Pamela Franklin and Jon Cypher along with Ida Lupino and Ralph Meeker. It's hard to tell which of the two screen icons to feel sorrier for. Probably Lupino since this was her next to last movie.

As far as plot goes, a football player (Gortner, and sure why not?), the team trainer (Cypher) and a friend go on a hunting trip to a remote Canadian island where the friend is attacked and killed by giant wasps. And then they just ... leave. Never mind that Gortner is almost pecked to death by an outsized rooster. They just ... leave the island. Only to return. It was filmed in British Columbia so the scenery is certainly gorgeous. Maybe they had so much choice footage of the ferry traveling to the island they just had to reuse it because they seemingly rerun the whole trip from the first reel. But given all the bewildering, drawn out scenes that result in zero tension or drama, they were simply looking to fatten up an anorexic script.

Director Bert I. Gordon was also responsible for The Amazing Colossal Man, Earth vs. The Spider and Empire of the Ants (which I actually kind of enjoyed) so it's jam packed with unintentionally comical moments like an arthritic Meeker swatting at giant cartoon wasps. And superimposed images done in such shoddy fashion that one scene features a wire fence literally drawn in what looks like a magic marker. It was however, American International Pictures most successful film that year and it's so undoubtedly a 70's movie that all that was missing was Bradford Dillman.

Oh, and from all appearances The Humane Society should have included a short addendum at the end of the movie - "A veritable boatload of rats were most definitely harmed during the filming of this movie." 60/100

It's almost as if everyone just forgot that

It's almost like the writing wanted to be bold, but just kept caving to the most stupid tropes about everything.

"She's a strong woman . . . .*panics* . . .. so she must want a man who will slap her around!"

"He's a cruel, borderline-sadistic man . . .. *panics* . . . but he's a successful, rustic, sassy older white man, so maybe he's just more of a twinkly-eyed rascal!"

"The relationship between these people has been irreparably damaged . . . *panics* . . . but everyone needs to be laughing at the end, so maybe they just get over it!

I'm embarrassed to admit how much I love Food of the Gods, even though everything you've said here is accurate. It was a TV staple of my childhood.

I'm embarrassed to admit how much I love Food of the Gods, even though everything you've said here is accurate. It was a TV staple of my childhood.

The gremlins have been at it again & snuck this movie into my Netflix Q.

Never heard of Anvil & I loathe heavy metal, but, somehow, I actually finished this. Canadian band still hanging in at least in 2008 when this documentary was made. Very likeable fellows who, apparently, never actually made the big time.

The New York Times called it "Headbanging at windmills".

I also grew up on this film and therefore consider it to be awesome even if I haven't seen it in 30 years.

I definitely need to keep an eye out for The Furies.

Grotesque (1988)

Oh boy, two films today and both receive one star. In this case, I have no one else to blame but me. What a stupid and incompetent home invasion slash monster feature. I think the makers realized how bad it was, and threw in the laughable twist in the end for a get-out-of-jail-free card due to not being serious. On top of everything else, even Linda Blair keeps her clothes on for the whole film.