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I'm going to catch up on this thread later Omni. I really like the style of your reviews even if our tastes probably won't align much. You're an entertaining fellow.
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Wreck-It Ralph
Animated Comedy / English / 2012
WHY'D I WATCH IT?
Miss Vicky reviewed it in her Resident Bitch's Movie Log thread where it got arguably the most collective praise of any movie I've seen on this site so far. The savage tongue-lashing of plebians helped too.
DAMN.
And this is a video game movie. Well I gotta watch it now.
WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS* Originally Posted by Miss Vicky
Wreck-It Ralph is easily my favorite modern (non-Pixar) Disney film.
Originally Posted by gbgoodies
it's one of my favorite Disney movies too.
Originally Posted by Camo
Wreck It Ralph is great 
. Top five Disney for me i think and the best of this Century.
. Top five Disney for me i think and the best of this Century. Originally Posted by colejwalker
Liked Wreck It Ralph and especially all the emotional scenes towards the end really got to me.
Originally Posted by Gatsby
I really needed something like that in my life.
Originally Posted by Iroquois
I can't even think of any other modern non-Pixar Disney films that stand out in the same way.
Originally Posted by JayDee
the first time I saw it at the cinema I really liked it. However when I rewatched it (I think for the animated films countdown) I absolutely loved it.
Originally Posted by cricket
I had Wreck-It Ralph in my top 10 for the animation countdown list.
And this is a video game movie. Well I gotta watch it now.
OH NOOOOO...
Sooo... I... didn't like this movie.
I don't know what it is, but I feel like it's a bad sign when I'm twenty minutes in, Ralph is running around, risking his life in FPS land, and that big wubbadub soundtrack is all intense and I'm just...
\/( o__o)\/ *shrug*
This movie just never clicked with me.
There are really only two places I can point a finger for that though. Either I'm just a heartless shell of a person, which okay, yeah, that's true, but let's consider the alternative for a moment: The setup doesn't really work.
I see a lot of stuff online including Vicky's review that suggests that the people connected with the major theme of overcoming the adversity of labels and not letting people pigeonhole your potential. Okay, I get that, but if that's supposed to be our takeaway message here, I think they did a really mediocre job of setting that up.
So the movie introduces us to Ralph who's the Donkey-Kong-era-style bad guy of the fictional Fix-It Felix Jr. arcade game. He's the bad guy so he typically loses and Felix along with the rest of the NPCs ostracize him because of it. It's just a job to them, but that mentality doesn't (for some reason) extend to their fear of Ralph. It's implied that Felix is empathetic at first, but he totally buckles and covers his own ass instead of being nice.
Ralph barges in to their party, accidentally causes a mess and we get that whole, "See? You're just a menace, no one likes you, so go away" scene that you see in all manner of other movies where the well-meaning good guy gets treated like a bad guy.
This clashes with the abstraction where bad guys regularly attend an AA-style meetup where apparently the concept of "bad being good" doesn't exist, they're all just generally miserable or malcontent with their station in life as if it's an unshakable assigned job as opposed to reveling in their own personal senses of glory LIKE VILLAINS DO.
This'd be one thing if these were all original characters, but you're using licensed properties from all over the video game industry here like Dr. Eggman, M. Bison, and Bowser most of which are such one-dimensional villains in their respective properties that being the unstoppable bad guy is THE ONE THING THEY LIKE DOING!
It only makes me wonder: Even if Ralph is ostracized, doesn't he get any satisfaction from beating Felix? If we're playing up video game tropes here, why aren't our villains having fun? One thing I've learned from video games is that it can be ****ing awesome to be the bad guy.
Surely the player must LOSE on occasion, right? Well if that happens, it's certainly not represented here. Maybe you'll say that, "Well, Ralph isn't REALLY a bad guy" to which I say, "yeah, you're right, but then why is he trying to cope with being one?" WHY IS HE A BAD GUY?
That's just the nature of the game? That's just... how he was born? The problem here is that in reality if you find yourself surrounded by prejudiced ********, you just stay away from them, but Ralph is for some reason invested in his game in a way that's never elaborated on. The best we get is that if he's not a part of the game the game is considered broken and supposedly everything in the game, including everyone in it, is lost indefinitely.
That's it? That's the only thing keeping him there? He's only getting picked on because they need somebody to pick on? That doesn't make any sense.
"Contrived" is a word that came to mind regularly as I was watching this movie and it applies to all manner of logical dissonances that pop up left and right. Vanelope's glitching for example. WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THAT?
Vanelope's status as a glitch is the main crux of the story and nearly everything related to it MAKES NO ******* SENSE WHATSOEVER.
(I really don't want to make a habit of doing lists, but this post is going to look like a mess otherwise.)
1.) Her "glitching" is very poorly represented. You're in a video game movie and you couldn't get creative with this? Glitching is typically a lot more that bursts of static and inconsistent skipping. My issue here largely just feeds into the bizarre choice of art for the whole movie which just seems like a lump of Pixar with video game stuff sprinkled on top. What to you have to gain by using the typical 3D caricatures for everyone? This is most extremely apparent when an 8-bit Felix praises FPS Girl's (I don't care what her name is) "High Definition" which is obviously a reference to varying video game resolutions. EXCEPT FELIX ISN'T 8-BIT.
He LOOKS 8-Bit from the outside of his game, but on the inside everyone is represented to each other by 3D caricatures so there's no artistic dissonance which would otherwise make the villains in the villain meeting seriously stand out from each other or even warrant Felix's comment.
It's this dissonance that leads me to believe that the creators considered what would sell first and what would work second which is why Vanelope's glitching is underwhelming among other things. This is the exact OPPOSITE of what we got in The LEGO Movie which was extraordinarily mindful of the medium they were trying to portray and what the precise way to best represent it visually would be.
2.) Vanelope can control her glitchiness. This bothers me too because it is neither rationalized in-world or even set up. Why can she control her glitchiness? Better yet, why SHOULD she control her glitchiness? Doesn't a deus ex machina like this sorta spit in the face of the whole "you can't change who you are" thing? Apparently she can if she can resist glitching and employ it whenever she wants. Too bad Ralph can't "resist being a bad guy", thatschrui unyc,.p ejkmw
You could interpret this bit as a sort of "if that's your thing, own it" deal, but this is never followed through with Ralph, in fact, Ralph's arc is just a cluster**** of consequences. Ralph doesn't like being the bad guy, the good guys don't like him because he's a bad guy, so they're unfairly mean to him. Ralph decides to steal a hero medal which only represents success in the most shallow and childish of ways and in the process makes a huge mess of other games which is totally unfair to them.
COMPLETELY SIDESTEP into a different plot for a while where Ralph gets to be the hero and Felix is there to help him (because Felix is a lightswitch character), and now automagically, Ralph's arc is resolved and everyone's nice to him now even though Felix was always aware of the problem, no one else from their game witnessed his deeds, and we just completely **** on the idea that Ralph really had it so hard in the first place by showing that even though he lives in a garbage dump HE COULD'VE HAVE LIVED IN A HOUSE THIS WHOLE TIME.
Kind of ****ing trivializes his journey a bit, doesn't it?
3.) Vanelope's a glitch because... she's not a part of the game... I think the whole visualization of code thing was a mistake. A very intentional mistake. The creators thought very simple tech lingo would be too difficult for audiences to grasp so they added in a few shots of King Candy jumping into this hyperdimensional closet where he bizarrely keeps all the code that runs his game which appears as blocks with names attached to strings, plainly representing the interconnection of different functions and subsystems that work off of each other to run a program. Vanelope's not connected to anything.
So she's not in the game.
But she is.
But she isn't.
But SHE WILL BE IF SHE CROSSES THE FINISH LINE OF THE RACE OH MY GOD IS THAT NOT AN EYEROLLER.
Really? The game's code is represented as this stationary ball of interconnected pieces and Vanelope's not a part of it all and YET if she, OF ALL THINGS, fulfills her goal of winning the race, she suddenly becomes a part of it again and NOT ONLY THAT, but inexplicably undoes the specific changes King Candy made? WHY THE ****? I'd accuse this plotpoint of being saccharine and twee, BUT IT ALREADY TAKES PLACE IN CANDYLAND.
3.) "Glitches can't leave the game."
2.) Vanelope can control her glitchiness. This bothers me too because it is neither rationalized in-world or even set up. Why can she control her glitchiness? Better yet, why SHOULD she control her glitchiness? Doesn't a deus ex machina like this sorta spit in the face of the whole "you can't change who you are" thing? Apparently she can if she can resist glitching and employ it whenever she wants. Too bad Ralph can't "resist being a bad guy", thatschrui unyc,.p ejkmw
You could interpret this bit as a sort of "if that's your thing, own it" deal, but this is never followed through with Ralph, in fact, Ralph's arc is just a cluster**** of consequences. Ralph doesn't like being the bad guy, the good guys don't like him because he's a bad guy, so they're unfairly mean to him. Ralph decides to steal a hero medal which only represents success in the most shallow and childish of ways and in the process makes a huge mess of other games which is totally unfair to them.
COMPLETELY SIDESTEP into a different plot for a while where Ralph gets to be the hero and Felix is there to help him (because Felix is a lightswitch character), and now automagically, Ralph's arc is resolved and everyone's nice to him now even though Felix was always aware of the problem, no one else from their game witnessed his deeds, and we just completely **** on the idea that Ralph really had it so hard in the first place by showing that even though he lives in a garbage dump HE COULD'VE HAVE LIVED IN A HOUSE THIS WHOLE TIME.
Kind of ****ing trivializes his journey a bit, doesn't it?
3.) Vanelope's a glitch because... she's not a part of the game... I think the whole visualization of code thing was a mistake. A very intentional mistake. The creators thought very simple tech lingo would be too difficult for audiences to grasp so they added in a few shots of King Candy jumping into this hyperdimensional closet where he bizarrely keeps all the code that runs his game which appears as blocks with names attached to strings, plainly representing the interconnection of different functions and subsystems that work off of each other to run a program. Vanelope's not connected to anything.
So she's not in the game.
But she is.
But she isn't.
But SHE WILL BE IF SHE CROSSES THE FINISH LINE OF THE RACE OH MY GOD IS THAT NOT AN EYEROLLER.
Really? The game's code is represented as this stationary ball of interconnected pieces and Vanelope's not a part of it all and YET if she, OF ALL THINGS, fulfills her goal of winning the race, she suddenly becomes a part of it again and NOT ONLY THAT, but inexplicably undoes the specific changes King Candy made? WHY THE ****? I'd accuse this plotpoint of being saccharine and twee, BUT IT ALREADY TAKES PLACE IN CANDYLAND.
3.) "Glitches can't leave the game."
WHAT.
WHY?
I had to ask that audibly as I was watching the movie and it killed me because the SECOND they said that I line I just KNEW they weren't going to explain it.
No reason... everyone can leave the game at any time... except glitches.
Because **** you, that's why.
It doesn't GET anymore contrived than that. There's a dilemma because of reasons and it can be solved because of reasons, that's apparently all you need to know.
You know, I can OVERLOOK plotholes if the rest of the movie was enjoyable, but I never laughed once.
The "Laffy Taffy" laughed more than me.
"Hero's Duty" joke? Get it? Cause it sounds like "dooty"?
HA. HA. HA.
That's literally the kind of garbage you find from Call of Duty haters in Youtube comments. I'VE HEARD IT BEFORE AND IT DOES NOT FLATTER YOU TO SAY IT.
What was the point of the Darth Vader breathing sound when Ralph's underwater? Cause... Disney owns Star Wars now? Hahahahahahaa.
Well at least I learned one important thing from this movie:
To "vurp" is to vomit and burp at the same time.
Glad I know that now. I'll be sure to use that information in the near future.
I had to ask that audibly as I was watching the movie and it killed me because the SECOND they said that I line I just KNEW they weren't going to explain it.
No reason... everyone can leave the game at any time... except glitches.
Because **** you, that's why.
It doesn't GET anymore contrived than that. There's a dilemma because of reasons and it can be solved because of reasons, that's apparently all you need to know.
You know, I can OVERLOOK plotholes if the rest of the movie was enjoyable, but I never laughed once.
The "Laffy Taffy" laughed more than me.
"Hero's Duty" joke? Get it? Cause it sounds like "dooty"?
HA. HA. HA.
That's literally the kind of garbage you find from Call of Duty haters in Youtube comments. I'VE HEARD IT BEFORE AND IT DOES NOT FLATTER YOU TO SAY IT.
What was the point of the Darth Vader breathing sound when Ralph's underwater? Cause... Disney owns Star Wars now? Hahahahahahaa.
Well at least I learned one important thing from this movie:
To "vurp" is to vomit and burp at the same time.
Glad I know that now. I'll be sure to use that information in the near future.
*sigh*
You know, as much as I bitch, I don't consider Wreck-It Ralph a bad movie. It's just... misguided. It has the potential to emotionally engage me and REALLY the best scene in the movie is easily the moment where Ralph realizes it's in the best interest of the game to destroy the car he made with Vanelope and she has to watch helplessly as he fulfills his role as a bad guy even if he's doing it for good guy reasons.
That scene's REALLY GOOD and evidently a lot of people connected with it.
Okay, ignoring the weird "I have never felt true sadness before" bit (watch some more movies, damn), I have to admit, YES, this is a really sad scene. It's well done, it's plays directly into the themes of the movie, and fits perfectly into Ralph's arc of self doubt.
BUT, the first half of the movie utterly failed to emotionally engage me before this scene and after it only managed to UNDERCUT itself when Ralph has to apologize for destroying her car in the first place.
He doesn't have to apologize. He may have to apologize for all the OTHER things he destroyed, but he was essentially stopping her from committing suicide and dragging EVERYONE DOWN WITH HER.
It sucks that it's all King Candy's fault she's a glitch, it sucks that the other racers bully her because they don't know any better, but BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER and BECAUSE KING CANDY IS RIGHT ABOUT THE THREAT SHE POSES, it doesn't justify her choice to race anyway. The parallel to Ralph is beyond forced.
Not that it matters, because she eventually races regardless of the risk, exposing her glitch, and allowing players to cheat until the game's inevitable shut down due to player complaining about lack of balance.
All's well that ends well. For now.
BUT, the first half of the movie utterly failed to emotionally engage me before this scene and after it only managed to UNDERCUT itself when Ralph has to apologize for destroying her car in the first place.
He doesn't have to apologize. He may have to apologize for all the OTHER things he destroyed, but he was essentially stopping her from committing suicide and dragging EVERYONE DOWN WITH HER.
It sucks that it's all King Candy's fault she's a glitch, it sucks that the other racers bully her because they don't know any better, but BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER and BECAUSE KING CANDY IS RIGHT ABOUT THE THREAT SHE POSES, it doesn't justify her choice to race anyway. The parallel to Ralph is beyond forced.
Not that it matters, because she eventually races regardless of the risk, exposing her glitch, and allowing players to cheat until the game's inevitable shut down due to player complaining about lack of balance.
All's well that ends well. For now.
Final Verdict: [Meh...]
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Last edited by Omnizoa; 05-28-16 at 07:47 PM.
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FOR THE RECORD, I've played actual Disney video games that did a better job of telling "a story that addresses the true meaning of friendship, heroism, and of rising above labels and stereotypes and finding your true self".
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Good job on the review once again, though I'll have to disagree. Wreck-it Ralph is one of my favorite animated movies, after watching it the first time I considered it one of my favorite movies period. Although it fell a bit for me on around the 4th re-watch, I still love it.
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Good job on the review once again, though I'll have to disagree. Wreck-it Ralph is one of my favorite animated movies, after watching it the first time I considered it one of my favorite movies period. Although it fell a bit for me on around the 4th re-watch, I still love it.
I'd rather not settle.
Honestly, this wouldn't make any top list of mine, even if I was limited to 3D animated family movies.
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As a non-gamer, I can say that what I gravitate to is the emotional aspect. I'm really invested in its characters and that's something I place a high value on when I'm watching a film.
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As a non-gamer, I can say that what I gravitate to is the emotional aspect. I'm really invested in its characters and that's something I place a high value on when I'm watching a film.
I didn't have any such problems with Big Hero 6 which at worst suffered from brief moments of crippling predictability.
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I had trouble engaging with Big Hero 6.
Didn't hate it, but it's definitely not a favorite. It just did not have much of an emotional impact on me.
Didn't hate it, but it's definitely not a favorite. It just did not have much of an emotional impact on me.
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I had trouble engaging with Big Hero 6.
Didn't hate it, but it's definitely not a favorite. It just did not have much of an emotional impact on me.
Didn't hate it, but it's definitely not a favorite. It just did not have much of an emotional impact on me.
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Partly the super hero aspect of it, but mostly I just didn't care at all for the human characters in it. I liked Baymax well enough but found the people mostly irritating.
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Partly the super hero aspect of it, but mostly I just didn't care at all for the human characters in it. I liked Baymax well enough but found the people mostly irritating.
I think Wreck-It Ralph just assuming I'm totally invested by the end of a cliche self-deprecating monologue is more annoying than any of Big Hero 6's individual personalities.
I think the whole big-bad-guy-who's-actually-a-good-guy-and-overcomes-prejudice-with-the-help-of-a-smaller-comedic-sidekick story was just a lot stronger in Shrek.
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I really don't know why this, as opposed to anything else, is what people are gravitating to. Is it just because video games are more popularly topical now and most video game movies are total ****?
I'd rather not settle.
Honestly, this wouldn't make any top list of mine, even if I was limited to 3D animated family movies.
I'd rather not settle.
Honestly, this wouldn't make any top list of mine, even if I was limited to 3D animated family movies.
I also did like the story. For me, it doesn't matter so much about how original the plot structure is, but just how well they're able to pull it off. Similar to Zootopia, which doesn't have a completely original storyline (a whodunnit mystery) but the way it's pulled off I thought was very good.
Also, I agree with Miss Vicky. Although I did like Big Hero 6 it was ultimately forgettable for me, mostly because I wasn't a huge fan of any of the characters.
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I also did like the story. For me, it doesn't matter so much about how original the plot structure is, but just how well they're able to pull it off.
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IMO, your review nitpicks the film for its minor faults too much, as if you were expecting a film with perfect plausibility. According to your arguments, what's the point of watching an animated film?
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Lady Snowblood
Action / Japanese / 1973
WHY'D I WATCH IT?
It popped up for some reason when I was looking at The Criterion Collection version of The Game. Could this be the badass female samurai movie I was hoping for to eclipse Sex and Fury?
WHAT'D I THINK? *SPOILERS* HAHAHAHA NOPE.
The music's not bad.
That's the only almost-but-not-really-positive thing I have to say about this movie.
Everything else is total crap. Allow me to count the ways...
Prop blood. Because they can't be bothered to make the blood a realistic color or consistency.
Blood geysers. Because that's not always ****ing stupid.
Hand camera. Because they couldn't afford a tripod.
Redundant editing. Because one bad flashback wasn't enough.
Redundant editing. Because one bad flashback wasn't enough.
A plot so bad it collapses in on itself within the first 20 minutes and goes full-on supernova by the last shot of the movie.
WOW. Like... I'm surprised by how awful this was.
I'm not even mad either. Wreck-It Ralph frustrated me, but this... this made me laugh harder than any single joke I saw in Airplane!, DAMN.
Alright, so here's your 10-cent summary of the movie with everything you need to know so you don't have to watch it yourself, all the best spoilers perfectly intact:
So the movie opens up with a baby screaming which is always a good sign, right? Stir up my horrible memories of Yoshi's Island before we even even see a single character.
Amidst a horrid mess of cuts we can infer that Snowblood is the name of the screaming baby who now lives as an assassin and exists for no other purpose than for VENGEANCE.
Why does she exist only for VENGEANCE? Well, you see... back in the day... her father was murdered by four people. Those four people then raped her mother. Her mother killed one of them out of VENGEANCE and she was sent to jail for life. Unfortunately, that was only 1/4th of her intended application of VENGEANCE and so because she needed more VENGEANCE she has lots and lots of sex with men. How did she have sex when she's in prison?
Oh, silly billy, what a goofy question. The answer is VENGEANCE.
Soon she has a VENGEANCE baby who exists solely for VENGEANCE and she dies. So the baby which somehow gets the name Snowblood (which is Japanese for VENGEANCE) grows up outside of prison and gets trained by a priest who teaches her VENGEANCE.
This priest of VENGEANCE happens to be a swordsman and trains her the best way to use a sword: By stuffing her in a barrel, kicking her down a hill, and watching her crash which launches her out of the barrel 90 DEGREES IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DIRECTION.
And I'm still alive. WHAT IN THE FVENGEANCE!!!
Final Verdict: [Irredeemably Awful]
The music's not bad.
That's the only almost-but-not-really-positive thing I have to say about this movie.
Everything else is total crap. Allow me to count the ways...
Prop blood. Because they can't be bothered to make the blood a realistic color or consistency.
Blood geysers. Because that's not always ****ing stupid.
Hand camera. Because they couldn't afford a tripod.
Redundant editing. Because one bad flashback wasn't enough.
Redundant editing. Because one bad flashback wasn't enough.
A plot so bad it collapses in on itself within the first 20 minutes and goes full-on supernova by the last shot of the movie.
WOW. Like... I'm surprised by how awful this was.
I'm not even mad either. Wreck-It Ralph frustrated me, but this... this made me laugh harder than any single joke I saw in Airplane!, DAMN.
Alright, so here's your 10-cent summary of the movie with everything you need to know so you don't have to watch it yourself, all the best spoilers perfectly intact:
So the movie opens up with a baby screaming which is always a good sign, right? Stir up my horrible memories of Yoshi's Island before we even even see a single character.
Amidst a horrid mess of cuts we can infer that Snowblood is the name of the screaming baby who now lives as an assassin and exists for no other purpose than for VENGEANCE.
Why does she exist only for VENGEANCE? Well, you see... back in the day... her father was murdered by four people. Those four people then raped her mother. Her mother killed one of them out of VENGEANCE and she was sent to jail for life. Unfortunately, that was only 1/4th of her intended application of VENGEANCE and so because she needed more VENGEANCE she has lots and lots of sex with men. How did she have sex when she's in prison?
Oh, silly billy, what a goofy question. The answer is VENGEANCE.
Soon she has a VENGEANCE baby who exists solely for VENGEANCE and she dies. So the baby which somehow gets the name Snowblood (which is Japanese for VENGEANCE) grows up outside of prison and gets trained by a priest who teaches her VENGEANCE.
This priest of VENGEANCE happens to be a swordsman and trains her the best way to use a sword: By stuffing her in a barrel, kicking her down a hill, and watching her crash which launches her out of the barrel 90 DEGREES IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DIRECTION.
Okay, so now she's trained for VENGEANCE and she kills the first guy whose daughter also swears VENGEANCE. The second guy's already dead unfortunately, so Snowblood'll have to be satisfied with only 3/4ths VENGEANCE. She finds the last guy, whose a girl, with the help of a newspaper writer but after talkin' a lotta **** she runs away and hangs herself.
Oh. Well... that's everybody then. Kinda anti-climactic.
Snowblood cuts her legs off. For VENGEANCE.
Later the third guy who wasn't really dead shows up to say he's not really dead and because he's so convinced that Snowblood will kill him out of VENGEANCE that he hires a lookalike, he shows up to say he's not really dead and-wait WHAAA-
Snowblood goes to kill the third guy for a quarter of VENGEANCE but the newspaper writer stops her because he's *SHOCK GASP!* secretly his father!
Wait, that... doesn't add anything to the story at all-
DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!
Oh. Well... that's everybody then. Kinda anti-climactic.
Snowblood cuts her legs off. For VENGEANCE.
Later the third guy who wasn't really dead shows up to say he's not really dead and because he's so convinced that Snowblood will kill him out of VENGEANCE that he hires a lookalike, he shows up to say he's not really dead and-wait WHAAA-
Snowblood goes to kill the third guy for a quarter of VENGEANCE but the newspaper writer stops her because he's *SHOCK GASP!* secretly his father!
Wait, that... doesn't add anything to the story at all-
DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!
So of course she's still got a hard-on for VENGEANCE so she tracks him down in order to pierce him through with her long hot throbbing VENGEANCE and she gets shot in the stomach which was completely avoidable.
Now that her VENGEANCE is done, she decides to just walk off the gunshot wound and *SHOCK GASP!* that girl whose dad she killed returns to stab her in the stomach too! For VENGEANCE!
Umm... okay, first, how did she get there? Second, why is she trying to get revenge for her dad when her dad was so horrible that she spent every day making wicker baskets only to throw them in the ocean because nobody will buy them and they wouldn't make enough money to support her lazy drugged out gambling ******* of a dad anyway so she's resorted to prostitution-
No, no, seriously, that doesn't make any sense. And it makes even less sense that Snowblood would have any stake in killing these people anyway since she's never met them. She should have the biggest grudge against her mother who explicitly gave birth to her in order to force the task of killing her rapists on her. **** you, Mom, I don't care if they were awful to you, you gave birth to me just I would do your dirty work. Your idea of justice was to waste 20 years of my life by getting some jerkass old priest to stuff me in a barrel and throw me down hills! You know how many bones I've broken!? I can't even write anymore my hand is just a gnarled claw only good for gripping a sword! I have to carry an umbrella everywhere because rain aggravates my skin which is mostly chafed off and covered in splinters! And I can't even emote anymore because I've been psychologically conditioned through negative reinforcement to only desire VENGEANCE!
And now here I am shot, stabbed, and bleeding all over the place and I'm still so single-mindedly absorbed with VENGEANCE that I actually pull the dagger out just so I can bleed to death.
Let's end the movie here. I'll just make some horrible squelching noise to tie the movie back together with how it began and I'll just bleed out and die.
Now that her VENGEANCE is done, she decides to just walk off the gunshot wound and *SHOCK GASP!* that girl whose dad she killed returns to stab her in the stomach too! For VENGEANCE!
Umm... okay, first, how did she get there? Second, why is she trying to get revenge for her dad when her dad was so horrible that she spent every day making wicker baskets only to throw them in the ocean because nobody will buy them and they wouldn't make enough money to support her lazy drugged out gambling ******* of a dad anyway so she's resorted to prostitution-
DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!
No, no, seriously, that doesn't make any sense. And it makes even less sense that Snowblood would have any stake in killing these people anyway since she's never met them. She should have the biggest grudge against her mother who explicitly gave birth to her in order to force the task of killing her rapists on her. **** you, Mom, I don't care if they were awful to you, you gave birth to me just I would do your dirty work. Your idea of justice was to waste 20 years of my life by getting some jerkass old priest to stuff me in a barrel and throw me down hills! You know how many bones I've broken!? I can't even write anymore my hand is just a gnarled claw only good for gripping a sword! I have to carry an umbrella everywhere because rain aggravates my skin which is mostly chafed off and covered in splinters! And I can't even emote anymore because I've been psychologically conditioned through negative reinforcement to only desire VENGEANCE!
And now here I am shot, stabbed, and bleeding all over the place and I'm still so single-mindedly absorbed with VENGEANCE that I actually pull the dagger out just so I can bleed to death.
Let's end the movie here. I'll just make some horrible squelching noise to tie the movie back together with how it began and I'll just bleed out and die.
Final Verdict: [Irredeemably Awful]
Last edited by Omnizoa; 05-28-16 at 07:49 PM.
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Originally Posted by Gatsby
IMO, your review nitpicks the film for its minor faults too much, as if you were expecting a film with perfect plausibility. According to your arguments, what's the point of watching an animated film?
My main gripes are with how the characters' drama is justified and how the world makes sense in-universe. I've emphasized this with my comparisons to Inside Out, The LEGO Movie, Shrek, and Big Hero 6, all of these movies have significantly stronger internal logical consistency.
I don't expect the movie to make sense within the context of the real world, but I do expect it to make sense within the context of the movie. It's not a question of, "WHAT? Video game characters coming to life? PFFT, that's not real." it's a question of, "Why doesn't Ralph build a house to begin with? If he doesn't like his existing home and he has the means to do it at the beginning of the movie, why does it take him until the end of the movie for him to do it?"
There's no such contradiction in Shrek even though Shrek is also self-deprecating about his living environment. The difference is Shrek is strongly established to be stubborn and unconvinced that things can change despite how much he wants them to. It's just the "the way things are" to him and the movie unfolds as his cynicism is toyed with and alleviated. Ralph has no such arc, he starts the movie miserable because people hate him and he ends the movie not miserable because they stop hating him.
It could even be argued that Shrek is the more mature of the two movies because it accepts that regardless of who or what you are, there are always going to be people who don't like you.
Last edited by Omnizoa; 03-24-16 at 12:58 PM.
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I love that you keep saying the Ralph could have just built a house for himself from the start when all he could really do is stack bricks and debris to make a ramshackle, unstable structure. He required Felix's help to make it a sound construction.
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I love that you keep saying the Ralph could have just built a house for himself from the start when all he could really do is stack bricks and debris to make a ramshackle, unstable structure. He required Felix's help to make it a sound construction.
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